Hey there loves,
I don't know how many have seen my previous post, in which I shared my experiences over the last year. The first year since I was sexually assaulted and how I've tried to move forward only to find myself stuck in the past for the last several weeks.
I had a coaching session with a wonderful mentor earlier this week and they helped to pull me back into the present rather being lost in my past. Rather than chastising myself for getting lost on the way forward, I embraced myself with compassion and understanding that I'd been denying myself.
Somewhere along the way I had forgotten what I needed most from myself, which was love. Tonight as I was writing down some thoughts, I recalled a love letter that I had written to myself some months ago. As I read the message, it was as if I was reading from my future self rather than my past, and perhaps in a way, that's true.
I was so moved by the contents, I wanted to share that letter here. I was to preface this by saying that I have simply copied and pasted the contents from its source, and thus I will not be making any edits. I also wanted to say that I truly believe that this is not just a love letter to myself, but to everyone. While it does contain female pronouns because that is how I personally identify, I want everyone to feel free to save this letter, share it, change the pronouns if you feel called to do so.
From the bottom of my heart I send you all compassion and love,
Thealynn
Hello you,
Before I really jump into starting this project and starting this journey, I wanted to say a couple of things to you, to me? To you, me, us.
Before I say anything else, I want to say that I love you.
I know I don't say that to you nearly as much as I should, and I am going to commit to changing that, because you are miraculous. You have faced so many challenges, you have overcome so many trials and no matter how close you may have come, you have never given up.
I know how close you've come, because I have been there with you. I am the voice who had pleaded with you to stay, who has begged you to keep trying, who has held you close in those times when you didn't feel like you were strong enough. I am that voice who encourages you to keep going, even if it's just one more day.
You may not think this about yourself, but I want you to understand how resilient you truly are. I never want you to think that you are somehow weak or fragile - don't let yourself be confused when it comes to being vulnerable. We have our moments, everyone does, and it takes a courageous person to allow yourself to embrace that vulnerability, it is there that true healing happens.
You deserve to heal. You deserve to leave the hurt behind. I know you're stubborn enough to never truly forget what has gotten you to the places and people who have caused so much chaos, and I know how much you want to be a safe space for others, but never forget that you deserve that safe space within yourself and for yourself.
You are wise in that you forgive all of those who have wronged you, because in the end, you will be so far above them that not forgiving them will ultimately bring you down and keep you from progressing. You are also wise in that you allow yourself the space and the time you need to arrive at forgiveness.
Never question yourself when it comes to the time frame in which things happen and evolve because no time is wasted. While others may struggle with the same obstacles time and again, you do not. You see where a better choice could have been made and you merge with it so completely that you watch for it in times to come.
You are cautious, you are learning discernment, and how to put yourself and your needs first. You are selfless, you are kind, you are generous. Be sure that you are all of these things not just to those around you, but to yourself as well.
I want you to know how proud I am of you. Your life and your person could have gone so many directions and yet you have stayed true to yourself to the best of your abilities, even in times when it would have been understandable if you had strayed.
Despite the horrors that have been committed against you, to find the trust and the perseverance in Spirit that there is more than meets the eye, seems almost impossible at times, but you always manage to do so in your own time.
You are continuously grateful to Spirit for Its bountiful gifts, and slowly if not surely, you are learning to accept them not just for others, but for yourself.
This may not have been an easy life to choose, but you chose it because you knew then and know now that you are capable of conquering your mission here, one wave at a time.
You are not a victim, nor are you merely a survivor, you are a warrior. You are a hero for all of those who do not know how to reach that inner strength, you help others find the light within themselves, you help to quite the outside noises to that their true voice might be heard.
You are healer, teacher, guide, priestess. You are a shinning star that glows with the warmth and love of the Great Goddess, Mother to All. You possess both light and darkness, you are both life and death.
Be open to washing away the pain my dear, you don't need to hold onto it any longer.
Amen, Aho, and So It Is.
Many Blessings,
Namaste.
~Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf 8/28/2016
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