Hey there lovies,
I've wondered from time to time what attracts people to each other. What is it about their look, their personality that makes them interesting?
I made a friend recently, and from the moment I laid eyes on him I was instantly curious. There was something about the way he kept to himself, the way he played his guitar and his soft spoken demeanor that caught my attention.
I am a firm believer in past lives and this was someone who I just knew that I had met before. To the extent of how much we knew each other was not particularly clear, but there was an instant sense of familiarity.
As I've been getting to know him, this time around, I have found myself attracted to the darkness in him.
I realize that sounds extreme, and I'll explain, don't worry.
This new friend of mine has walked the fine line between life and death several times, mostly by his own accord and is now fighting to stay away from the temptation that takes him to the place he's fought so hard to leave behind.
In the short time I have known him, he has suffered several losses and has managed to maintain his position. He's been kind and brave enough to share with me just a glimpse here and there of what he has faced and endured and I am not only touched but inspired by his strength despite it all.
I think there is something about those whom we are attracted to that speaks to our soul in a way that we might not be able to recognize at first.
I could sense a darkness in this person before I knew his name, let alone the battle he has been waging and now that I know, I seek solace in his struggles as a release and relief from my own.
I know doing so is selfish to some extent, but there is something along the lines of camaraderie when you find someone who shares something so personal and so deep with you that you feel almost ashamed sharing it with others who don't understand, but you know that they do because they are right there with you.
I recently did a meditation in which I met with my lady Shakti and we discussed the balance between light and dark. As much as I know that I am capable of greatness and success, I am just as capable of destruction and disappearing into my faults.
You could argue that such a thing is true for anyone, and that is absolutely true, but how many of us are so painfully aware of the trials it takes? How many of us fight one way or the other, to follow one path or the next?
So often I see people surrender to circumstance, good or bad and do not genuinely consider the consequences of either option. I myself have done the very same thing, with varying results. However, I find myself at a crossroads, and the path I choose will ultimately lead me to the resounding theme of my future.
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I wrote the beginning of this piece in March, and looking back on it now, I was almost tempted to scrap it and let it disappear. But as I read it again, and considered where I was compared to where I am now; a good hour away, a healthier environment, and stronger support, I realize that while the person I described was not a bad person, they definitely were not a good one to have around.
Their struggles were far more than I was reasonably able to handle after a few weeks, and by the time I left the area, I was more than ready to say goodbye.
While I can only wish them the best and hope that they have found relief from their trials, I also see and value the small experience they gave me. It was a window to what my life could turn into, it was a glance at the potential for the road I was on, a sneak peak at what I was headed for if I didn't do something to change it.
We are all light and shadow, we all have our pros and cons, our faults and our saving graces. The truth of the matter is that this individual was a part of the catalyst that helped me make my decision.
Whether it was karma, or a contract they created before entering this existence that is to be credited for their experience this time around is really not for me to say or to speculate.
But the service they gave me in the short weeks that we spent together sincerely changed my life, and I am grateful to them for it.
Some experiences we have are painful, there's really no way around that. The least we can do for ourselves is to determine what we can take away from those experiences and hope to high heaven that we can do something productive with them.
That's always my highest hope: that no experience goes unnoticed, that I am never ungrateful for the lessons that those experiences provide me. And that if I'm really lucky, I can use those experiences, even the painful ones, to help someone down the line.
Sending you light and love dear ones,
Thealynn
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