Now in this post I touch on a couple of subjects that I will be giving more explanation on at a later time, and perhaps once I do so I will have the presence of mind to arrange them in an order that will be a tad more cohesive, and hopefully make a bit more sense. Maybe.
Today I got to spend some time in a truly amazing place. For the last couple of days I have been visiting my uncle and cousin in Washington state. They recently opened a shop, and part of my visit was to arrange to sell my jewelry in the store. Which is not only extremely exciting for me and them, but this is the first real time I have gotten to spend time, and gotten to know them.
It has been one of the high lights of a pretty amazing year. During my visit I have been able to explore the town as well as spend a significant amount of time in their store, which if I can, I will be posting some pictures once I return home. (Possibly between tomorrow and Tuesday.)
One of the favorite places I was able to see was the Wolf Haven. An amazing facility that adopts wolves and wolf dogs, even some coyotes, from ignorant people who think that they make good pets. A few have even been rescued from road shows, illegal rings.
Also on the property there was an amazing grandfather tree. The folks who run the facility aren't exactly sure how old it is. That tree was so incredible, the energy of the entire grounds is indescribable.
I personally felt a special connection to this place for a couple of different reasons.
First of all, I was dying to see this place was because wolf is one of my most prominent totems. Wolf has been with me since I was about eleven. Shortly after wolf came to me, my Dad got me this.
The pendant is made of sterling silver with a moon stone. I've had this pendant half of my life, and whenever I wear it, I feel protected.
As I have studied the nature of wolves, not only as wild animals but also as a totem, I would be surprised if wolf wasn't with me for the rest of my life.
I made a video on totems that I posted on Youtube that I will link to on the bottom that goes into detail about what I mean. I'm sure that at some point I will make a post that sums up how I view totems and some of the ways I work with them.
The charm you see below is my souvenir from the Wolf Haven. They had an awesome collection of gifts including a giant stuffed wolf that would take up a good portion of one side of my bed. Unfortunately I didn't have plan on spending a lot on this trip, so it wasn't in the budget. Next time though, next time...
Another reason that this was such a powerful place for me is one of the most amazing trees I have ever seen. Before I had any kind of inclination of spirituality or religion, there was the trees. I felt the energy of the grass beneath my bare feet (despite several bee stings) the smell of the rose garden on the side of my first childhood home, and the trees in our yard were my friends. I could hear them, feel them, they were closer to me then anything or anyone else.
It didn't seem to matter if the trees were in my yard, a neighbor's, at the school, at the park, they were all there to share their stories, for me to share my secrets, to hide in, play in, even cry on. I loved them, and they loved me. I felt so connected as a child that I would even have a sense of mourning during the winter because I was told that trees die during that time. Whenever I was overwhelmed or up set, I would go outside. Walk in any kind of weather, sit under a tree and just breathe.
As I entered my teen years I felt completely up rooted by the divorce of my parents and felt as though I had been sent adrift to another place to become some else's problem. At times it felt like I was drowning in the struggles I was facing, and I couldn't hold my breath forever.
I related more and more to the element of water, where I could float away to my own special place where I would be unreachable. And until the last couple of years I had clung to that connection, it was easier to appear distant and dangerous, unpredictable to some.
I wasn't grounded.
When I learned that I was an Earth sign
I couldn't help but laugh. It just wasn't me. I actually hasn't been
until I broke off my previous relationship that I began reaching for
land. I was exhausted from fighting the storms, and from desperately
trying to stay afloat.
When I look back, I can't place on my
finger on when I began to feel grounded again. It was certainly a
gradual process, and it was definitely not something that could be
rushed. I had traded my legs for a tail after all, or so I thought.
As I began putting my life back into
some kind of order was when I began to notice. My feet were far from
firmly on the ground, slowly but sure, I got to that grandfather
tree. I could sense the energy from the moment we turned onto the
road that took us to the wolf sanctuary, and when I got out of the
car I could begin to feel it coursing through my veins.
Making our way to the tree was an
experience in and of itself. I felt a number of different things,
excitement, nervousness, uncertainty. It might sound strange, but
it's just the kind of feeling you get when you reunite with someone
who you haven't seen in a long time. Someone who used to be so
important to you, but somehow faded away, or ripped away even.
Lifting the branches to reach the trunk
was almost like making your way to the heart of the place you've been
searching for, like hunting for buried treasure, or a long forgotten
place. I took a moment to just let myself be surrounded by it's
branches and those around it. It was simply massive.
Placing my hand on the trunk I was instantly enveloped in a array of thoughts and messages from every spirit that had left it's mark during the life of that tree. Every single one was so glad that I had come, was so glad to see me back.
It was then that the deep resonating voice of the grandfather hugged me close and delivered his own whisper.
I always knew you'd come back to me child. It's good to have you here again.
It took just about all I had in me to not start crying. The feeling I was being overwhelmed by was the feeling of finally coming home.
A series on imagines rushed their way to me seemingly faster then the wind, I think I may have even laughed out loud. As quickly as it came, it was gone again. In those few seconds that I had walk under the brush and simply laid my hand on the bark of this magnificent being, I came home.
We only stayed for a couple of minutes because we had a scheduled tour, but I even told my uncle that I didn't want to leave the immediate space. It was difficult pulling myself away, but I was assured in that same willowy whisper,
I will see you again child, you always make your way back to me.
©2013-2015 Thealynn
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