Midnight Musings

Hey there dears,

I don't know about the rest of you, but this time of year always gets me into a reflective frame of mind. I don't know if it's because I feel the energy of my part of the world slowly shifting into a dark time, if it's the change in the weather or if it's on a deeper level with Samhain fast approaching.

Whatever the reason, I am pulled towards reviewing the paces of the last year and even further back. I feel the call of the shadows from so long ago and almost long to be back in those times and places with the people that have been left behind.

I have a sense of trepidation as I begin to consider how I might want to proceed into the year to come and how I might be able to begin preparing; which I think is a bit different than in prior years. Before there was a focus on attempting to tie as many loose ends as possible, to finish as much unfinished business that I might feel lighter when I rang in the New Year.

There is most certainly a sense on wanting to shed as much of the past as possible not because I wish to escape or because there are is something that needs to be outrun, but because when I look around I find myself asking: How long have I been carting this around with me? How many lifetimes have come and gone between myself and these times.

That's not to say that I am unsentimental, in fact sentimentalism is exactly why I still possess certain items that I otherwise would have discarded many times over. There are still several things that I hold onto because there is a sense of fondness when I lay eyes on them; more often than not the memories are bittersweet, but even so, it can be difficult to say good-bye.

I think it could be that if we don't hold onto physical mementos, is because if we don't have that physical thing, we're more likely to forget the memories attached to the item. That somehow we'll loose the part of ourselves that are connected to those places and people, even if the connection is a painful one.

So why hang on to them? Why make yourself relive the pain and the struggle to get to where you are now? I can say from my own perspective that perhaps the pain feels like a necessity to help you remember why you got out of that situation, why you left that place, why you no longer speak to that person.

Then I find myself asking, if the experience was so profound and was so defining, do you really need the reminder? Every item that is held onto for those purposes carries the energies from when those experiences took place. Why would you want a talisman that links you so directly with those horrible memories?

Obligation is really the only reason I can think of, but, obligation to who? All of those items, all of these things are potentially tied to people that may very well mean nothing to you now, but because they did at one point, you somehow owe them?

I don't think so.

That's not to say that we don't hold only things because of the good memories, isn't that where so much of our extra 'stuff' comes from? It can be difficult to know when or if to let something go. The main problem I find myself running into is, what if they ask about "it" or what if they come into my space and they don't see "it"?

Even though this is something I some times consider before making a decision, I always end up reminding myself that rarely if ever do I find myself within that situation. When am I ever going to be in a situation with said people where they will ever think to as about said stuff.

All signs point to: Never.

Once I started thinking about physical items as more than just mementos and as energy containers, there was some pieces that I genuinely couldn't wait to get rid of. That's not to say that I didn't struggle with bidding farewell with some.

I remember a few select gifts that I held onto because I had a deep emotional appreciation for the item(s) and not only that, because of the nature in which they had been given and received. But in the end it came back to the nature of the energy, despite the original nature of the gifts, because of the development of the associate I had with those items, the energy shifts and evolved to mirror the way I viewed them after 'x' amount of time.

I don't recall specifically when, but I remember thinking on all of these things and trying to figure out exactly where I landed on all of this when I found myself wondering:

"How much room is all of this energy from the past taking up? How much space could I create for all of the things I want to bring into my life, if I went ahead and said syonara to everything from my past that I don't see a place for in my future?"

As with all things, going through and deciding the best we to detach ourselves from our past ties takes deserved time and consideration. I remember being at my mother's house with my sister as we went through box after box and I agreed to keep certain items, and yet by the time my designated boxes made it into my space, there was very little I ended up keeping.

I still find myself with items that I'm not sure I want to hang on to, and at the same time, I don't have a good way of letting them go. So, for the time being I have decided that while they are in my space, they have respective bubbles. By in which their energy is contained and not permitted to 'leak' into my main space, at least until I can make a confident decision.

I will say however that I renew their bubbles on a fairly regular basis, I think it's only fair to send the contained energy back to Mama Earth and let Her transmute the energy for greater purposes as to not let the energy build up and either become stale or reinforced depending on the object.

All of this unexpected thought vomit aside, this was not originally what I set out to write about, but apparently it needed to be written. I do think it's interesting that some of these ramblings tend to come to me at night, usually when there are plans for the early morning.

Perhaps the next time I come to write, I will do so with the original thoughts that brought me to my slice of sacred space here in the interwebs.

Until next time loves,

Brightest Blessings

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf