My Full Moon in Capricorn

Hey there loves,

How has this full moon been treating you? Have you been feeling it the last few days as the moon as reached her fullness?

Image from monderndayastrologer.com

As some of you might already know, I am a Capricorn (sun), so this full moon holds some very serious energy for me. And possibly for you too! Are you ready for it?

One of the things that I love the most when the moon is full, is that I feel like I have the opportunity to really clean off my energetic plate. I get to drop all the stuff that I've been carrying around for the last month that just needs to go. It's a good time to reset, re-energize, reevaluate. It's also a good time to be super honest with ourselves.

Something that I think gets glossed over during the Full Moon, is the opportunity to see things in our lives with a fresh perspective, a different lens depending on what sign the moon is in. In this case, it's Capricorn.

For those who are unfamiliar with Capricorn, this sign is ruled by Saturn which is considered the Father of the zodiac; just as the Moon is considered the Mother of the zodiac which rules the sign of Cancer. As these signs are opposite each other, there is a call for balance when these two meet.

Capricorn is considered the 'hard knocks' planet, as Saturn is also known as the Karma Keeper, it's no surprise that Capricorns often wind up settling all sorts of karmic debt (positive and negative) during their life time. Because of the masculine energy surrounding Capricorn, they are often described as structured, practical, goal oriented, focused, etc.

The other side of that coin however can be viewed as: rigid, strict, obsessive, workaholic, etc.  Capricorns are known for being stubborn, rivaling other signs in the zodiac, because once they set their minds on something, it's nigh impossible to get them off course.

Capricorns can also suffer from tunnel vision and expect everyone to be on board with their plans and ideas, which isn't always practical or possible. When this doesn't happen, they can be come agitated and continue about their way, even if they do so alone. Which could explain why Capricorns have a tendency to take on SO MUCH on their own, even to the point of burning themselves out.

We Caps can be of the mindset, "It's all me or it's nothing." So much focus goes into the how, and where to, and what next that we can become detached from the emotion that sparked our dreams and goals in the first place.

So when our masculine sign visits the opposite sign of Cancer we have an opportunity get back in touch with our softer, feminine side. We get a chance to put our project(s) down for a minute and remember why we're so passionate about it in the first place. We can take off our shoes and dip our feet into the deep dream space where the love and desire for this goal was born.

When the moon is full, she is shining brightly and showing us what needs love and attention from us. You have probably heard the phrase along the lines of 'people get crazy during the full moon'. While it could hold some level of truth, the reality is that when the moon is full, there is a higher vibration of energy. Emotions, wounds, desires all come up to the surface and are being show to us because they are the things that require acknowledgement.

For me it was frustration with my work place. I came home angry last night, I wanted to throw up some fingers and tell them where they could go. So today before heading in I could feel that anger rising again and so I gave myself a nice smudge before I walked out the door. Today ended up being a much easier and a more pleasant day, and as I took my salt bath I realized what this full moon was showing me.

My frustration was being brought to my attention because I was getting frustrated with circumstances that I cannot control and I did not feel supported. I took a deeper look and was able to see that it was being reflected in one of my coworkers.

Let me just say I'm glad that I was sitting down because I was FLOORED. Literally FOR MONTHS, I have been trying to pinpoint why exactly this was manifesting in my life, and it all came to me. With the light of this full moon, I can see a part of myself reflected in this individual. I see patterns and behaviors that I myself have been guilty off. For such long time I could only see the flaws and mistakes this person was making, and all it did was make me angrier.

As all of this was dawning on me (no pun intended) I asked Spirit, I asked the Moon; What can I do to help heal this part of myself? The answer I received was so simple.

I could forgive myself.

As I tapped into the beautiful milky divine feminine, I asked to be shown more. We as humans are flawed by nature, because we are here to learn and to grow and the only way to do so is to make mistakes. I needed to be reminded that people, including myself, are allowed to make mistakes; that I have and that I will continue to do so. And that regardless of how many, or for how long, it should not, and does not lessen the value and worthiness of any individual.

We are able to go so far because of the mistakes that we make, not in spite of, but because of. Mistakes can be opportunities to launch us forward, or they can hold us captive, in one place for as long as we harbor the guilt and shame that we fabricate.

I can only speak for myself, but I am so thankful for every mistake that I have made because it helped me become who I am. Even now I find myself grateful to this person because they have shown me such a deep truth and have provided me with a chance to own that truth.

This is what my full moon in Capricorn is asking me to see, to acknowledge, to love and show compassion to, and then to finally send it with love and gratitude back to Source Energy, until the next lesson comes forward.

What is the Full Moon in Capricorn showing you?

Live freely and love fiercely,

 ~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Deep In The Dark

Deep In The Dark

I was raised to be afraid of the dark

To fear the shadows and any and all who lurked there

I was taught to avoid the deep

To shy away from any and all who might lead me there

Only trouble and danger waited in the dark

The shadows were there to smother your senses

Going deep could only end in a drowning

Nothing worth having or being existed in those places

Nature was pretty in sight and scent

But nature was below us, because it was made for us

We were above nature, we were masters

Nevermind that we wouldn’t survive without it

In Nature, the dark is natural

The dark is needed to balance the light

Life and Death dance together out of necessity and love

Thus Nature is dark, and dark is Death

As I grew so did my love for nature

The simplicity dancing with the complexity

Dancing in rhythm just as Life and Death do

As I grew so did my curiosity of the dark

I found myself feeling safe in the shadows

I found myself longing for the deep

The peace, the quiet, the comfort

Such things are plentiful in the dark

The dark holds truths that require strength

The dark holds a silent song

The dark requires nothing

The dark only asks for authenticity

It’s easy to hide here in the dark

But it is courage that is needed to find yourself there

I now long for the long nights

For the voices and the whispers that caress my skin like a breeze

Some may find fear in the dark

But the pitch black is where I find love

Ancient wisdom and magic make up this place

I make up this place

Deep inside I am the Dark

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Full Moon, Late Night

Good evening loves,

Happy Full Moon in Cancer!

Oh man, it's been a little over two years since I felt so moved after a full moon ritual, that I wanted to write about it. In fact, I believe that it was my first full moon ritual with Sage Goddess that I felt my spirit awaken, and was filled with the desire to create. And for a while there, I was writing almost every day, there was so much that was on my mind, that I wanted to share, that so desperately needed to be released that for a time it was just pouring out all over the place.

You may very well be feeling similarly with the Moon in her home planet tonight. If you're feeling like a mess or feeling overwhelmed, rest assured that after tomorrow the Moon begins her journey to Leo, which should prove to be rather interesting next month given that (at least in the society where I reside) Valentine's Day is a HUGE focus point for February, regardless of whether it is viewed in a positive or negative light. (But who doesn't like moon light, right?)

If you are currently in the one state that does not currently have snow, I will admit, I am slightly envious. As I have mentioned previously, and as I say in my bio, I live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States; we don't really get snow here, and in fact, as of yesterday, we are in a State of Emergency. It's a big deal for us. 

This week I was given the unexpected gift of a three day weekend, which has been extended to four due to the weather, and in this time I have been able to be still, to be quiet, to go inward and connect with my spirit and my guides in a way which I have not experienced in longer then I wish were true. 

It's given me such a wonderful opportunity to come back here and to start anew with the new year, to remind myself how much I love doing this; writing and sharing and connecting with any and all of those who take the time to read what I have to say. 

With all this unexpected free time, I knew I wanted to dedicate as much time as possible doing the things that I feel like I 'don't have time for' such as ritual. It was really important to me to be present and participate in this month's ritual for a couple of reasons. The main reason being that I missed the feeling of ritual, I missed the guided meditations, I missed connecting with the Universe in such a profound way, as I am able to do during these rituals if I give myself the chance. 

Another reason it was so important to me to participate in the ritual tonight was because I felt a very subtle but sincere pull. Which really got my attention because earlier today I sat before my alter and prayed for the first time, maybe ever. In my prayers I petitioned my goddess and a god from a pantheon a world away to help me maintain this emotional stability I seem to have stumbled upon. I can't say exactly what triggered these feels of security, but I have just been overwhelmed with gratitude, and for what feels like the first time, I have been able to suppress the feelings of anxiety, nervousness, worry, fear. 

Ah, fear. My old nemesis. As I sat down to write about tonight's experience, I was reminded how I felt so compelled to write after my first full moon ritual, and I decided to glance over it to see what these two experiences might share. 

It was during that first ritual that I discovered how fear had wound its way into damn near if not every aspect of my life, and how determined I was to eliminate fear from my life, and how I believed that 2015 would be the best year of my life. Well, that just wasn't the case. 2015 turned out to be one of the most difficult years of my life, but looking back now I can see how much was purged; that it took being on the edge of emotional and mental crippling for me to pull myself back and to blossom into the person that I would always reach out for but could never quite touch. 

Just like my first ritual with Sage Goddess, if I had to describe my experience tonight using only one word, that word would be: intense. 

I've been sharing on my Facebook page and Instagram, and even in my previous posting how things have been almost eerily falling into place, and how there have been multiple signs and synchronicities over the last several days - since the snow came! -  and how it's almost been freaking me out. Almost. 

Rather than be skeptical or push these gifts away (out of fear, i.e. it's too good to be true), I have found myself smiling and laughing in delight, and expressing sincere gratitude almost without thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, there have been moments where I have felt the fear and the worry creeping up on me, and there have even been a few moments here and there where that negative energy has filled my whole body. But what is miraculous to me is that I have been able to dis-spell those feelings.

When I felt myself struggling to do so is when I went before my alter and called to the Universe to help support me. I voiced my concerns, I asked for guidance, for reassurance, for strength to keep on the track I have worked so hard to be on. 

December of 2014 I made a commitment to myself to expel fear from my life. Tonight during ritual we traveled to meet with Zues and Athena, and during that experience I was gifted with the quiet revelation that I have nothing left to fear. That the fear I experience is an illusion, a cheap trick of my ego to keep me in a place of suffering. 

I was given a gift from both Athena and Zues, and even now hours after closing the circle, I can still feel their presence, their love and the soft look of pride in their eyes. I don't know that I have ever felt pride from any deity that I have ever worked with. 

This ritual has provided me with so much clarity, so much hope, so much peace. Even our ritual leader, also named Athena, spoke of things that resonated with me so deeply. There was one thing in particular that she touched on that I felt really hit the nail on the head. 

She spoke of this energy that has been in the field that is prompting us (I say that as a general collective) to get moving and get working, like the energy of Spring has come early. Which may very well explain my burst of energy to work on this blog so diligently, in addition to a couple of other projects that I mentioned previously in the vaguest way possible (of course.)

She reminded us that we are still in the period of rest, and how important it is to continue to allow ourselves this time so that when Spring does come around, that we have our reserves still in place. Now, Spring doesn't officially come around until late March (for us here in the Northern Hemisphere anyway), but we don't necessarily have to wait that long. February 1st also know as Imbolc/Imbolg is when the Earth begins to thaw and we begin to see the first signs of new life, such as animals giving birth, flowers starting to bloom, hopefully warmer temperatures....

I am so grateful that Athena touched on this, because holy cow have I been feeling that go, go, go energy. For the most part I have been able to rein it in and keep it in check, if you don't count the five postings in the last three, maybe four days...

Retaining my energy may prove to be a bit of a challenge simply do to the fact that I will be moving in three weeks, which is really soon. I am not moving far and I don't have much to move, but moving tends to be stressful and in addition to having lots of books, I have heavy furniture. 

That being said, I will be in my new home right around Imbolc, which is one more beautiful synchronicity that the Universe is blessing me with, so, definitely no complaints here. Tomorrow is the last day of my 'snow-cation' and I have to say that I am looking forward to getting back to my regular routine. 

Since our lovely Moon is going to be spending another day in her home of Cancer, I would sincerely encourage you to take an hour, and check out January's Full Moon Ritual, even if you just watch. I think you'll come away feeling glad that you did. 

One final note; full moons are a fantastic time to release and with this being the first full moon of 2017, really consider what needs to be left in 2016. Allow yourself to come into 2017 with less on your plate, less on your shoulders, and less weighing on your heart. It's okay to let those things go. Some times that's what needs to happen in order for all of the new and wonderful things to appear in your life. 

I'm not saying that it's not difficult, or painful, or scary to do so. I am saying that you're strong enough, and that you deserve the peace that will come from moving on from what no longer serves you. You've made it this far, and just think of how much further you can go when you allow yourself the freedom to do so.

 Brightest Blessings to you all,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Midnight Musings

Hey there dears,

I don't know about the rest of you, but this time of year always gets me into a reflective frame of mind. I don't know if it's because I feel the energy of my part of the world slowly shifting into a dark time, if it's the change in the weather or if it's on a deeper level with Samhain fast approaching.

Whatever the reason, I am pulled towards reviewing the paces of the last year and even further back. I feel the call of the shadows from so long ago and almost long to be back in those times and places with the people that have been left behind.

I have a sense of trepidation as I begin to consider how I might want to proceed into the year to come and how I might be able to begin preparing; which I think is a bit different than in prior years. Before there was a focus on attempting to tie as many loose ends as possible, to finish as much unfinished business that I might feel lighter when I rang in the New Year.

There is most certainly a sense on wanting to shed as much of the past as possible not because I wish to escape or because there are is something that needs to be outrun, but because when I look around I find myself asking: How long have I been carting this around with me? How many lifetimes have come and gone between myself and these times.

That's not to say that I am unsentimental, in fact sentimentalism is exactly why I still possess certain items that I otherwise would have discarded many times over. There are still several things that I hold onto because there is a sense of fondness when I lay eyes on them; more often than not the memories are bittersweet, but even so, it can be difficult to say good-bye.

I think it could be that if we don't hold onto physical mementos, is because if we don't have that physical thing, we're more likely to forget the memories attached to the item. That somehow we'll loose the part of ourselves that are connected to those places and people, even if the connection is a painful one.

So why hang on to them? Why make yourself relive the pain and the struggle to get to where you are now? I can say from my own perspective that perhaps the pain feels like a necessity to help you remember why you got out of that situation, why you left that place, why you no longer speak to that person.

Then I find myself asking, if the experience was so profound and was so defining, do you really need the reminder? Every item that is held onto for those purposes carries the energies from when those experiences took place. Why would you want a talisman that links you so directly with those horrible memories?

Obligation is really the only reason I can think of, but, obligation to who? All of those items, all of these things are potentially tied to people that may very well mean nothing to you now, but because they did at one point, you somehow owe them?

I don't think so.

That's not to say that we don't hold only things because of the good memories, isn't that where so much of our extra 'stuff' comes from? It can be difficult to know when or if to let something go. The main problem I find myself running into is, what if they ask about "it" or what if they come into my space and they don't see "it"?

Even though this is something I some times consider before making a decision, I always end up reminding myself that rarely if ever do I find myself within that situation. When am I ever going to be in a situation with said people where they will ever think to as about said stuff.

All signs point to: Never.

Once I started thinking about physical items as more than just mementos and as energy containers, there was some pieces that I genuinely couldn't wait to get rid of. That's not to say that I didn't struggle with bidding farewell with some.

I remember a few select gifts that I held onto because I had a deep emotional appreciation for the item(s) and not only that, because of the nature in which they had been given and received. But in the end it came back to the nature of the energy, despite the original nature of the gifts, because of the development of the associate I had with those items, the energy shifts and evolved to mirror the way I viewed them after 'x' amount of time.

I don't recall specifically when, but I remember thinking on all of these things and trying to figure out exactly where I landed on all of this when I found myself wondering:

"How much room is all of this energy from the past taking up? How much space could I create for all of the things I want to bring into my life, if I went ahead and said syonara to everything from my past that I don't see a place for in my future?"

As with all things, going through and deciding the best we to detach ourselves from our past ties takes deserved time and consideration. I remember being at my mother's house with my sister as we went through box after box and I agreed to keep certain items, and yet by the time my designated boxes made it into my space, there was very little I ended up keeping.

I still find myself with items that I'm not sure I want to hang on to, and at the same time, I don't have a good way of letting them go. So, for the time being I have decided that while they are in my space, they have respective bubbles. By in which their energy is contained and not permitted to 'leak' into my main space, at least until I can make a confident decision.

I will say however that I renew their bubbles on a fairly regular basis, I think it's only fair to send the contained energy back to Mama Earth and let Her transmute the energy for greater purposes as to not let the energy build up and either become stale or reinforced depending on the object.

All of this unexpected thought vomit aside, this was not originally what I set out to write about, but apparently it needed to be written. I do think it's interesting that some of these ramblings tend to come to me at night, usually when there are plans for the early morning.

Perhaps the next time I come to write, I will do so with the original thoughts that brought me to my slice of sacred space here in the interwebs.

Until next time loves,

Brightest Blessings

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf