On this particular evening I am sitting in the comfort of my home, hunkered down as a winter storm begins with the knowledge that I will be more or less 'stuck' for the next couple of days. Winter storms are not necessarily unusual for this time of year, however, the fact that this will be the third time within the last three weeks that we will have snow fall, is quite unusual for this area.
I intend to take the time away from work and traditional responsibilities to enjoy the quiet, and to simply with with myself as much as I can. As I mentioned in my previous post, I tend to shut down and go inward during this time, and this provides the perfect atmosphere to do so. In addition, it has provided me with some time to consider how I wanted to approach this topic, my tarot card for 2017.
(I feel like I should warn you, this is going to be a long one.)
Last year my card was The Tower, which inspired the title for this posting, as that was the phrase or mantra that I adopted for the year. As working with a tarot card for an entire year is a relatively new practice for me, the first year I did so, I wasn't entirely sure how to go about 'working with' said card. More often then not, I couldn't find what I considered to be legitimate connections between the message of the card and my every day life, last year was much different.
At the beginning of the year, I broke off an unhealthy relationship, which was a first for me. It took a meditation with a goddess to give me the push I needed. But once that fire was lit within me, I began to see more clearly the areas of my life where I had put other's first, where I really should have been more considerate of myself.
I realized how even though ending the relationship would be uncomfortable and even painful to a certain degree, I understood deep into my bones how continuing would only cause more damage, not just to myself but to my partner at the time.
That bridge had to be destroyed in order to make room for my current relationship; healthy, proactive, compassionate, genuine and challenging to be the best partner I can be.
I switched gears and entered into a profession that I believed I would be successful in, only to find out that I did not have an affinity for it at all. To top it off, I had been recently hired when I was attacked and due to the nature of the job, I was forced to quit, without the option to return to the position I had been in prior to leaving.
It took a couple of months, but because I decided to take a chance of myself, I was able to enter into a brand new field (to me at least) and I ended up with better hours, and a higher pay rate that my previous two employers.
In the beginning of my healing process, I followed my instinct to receive professional help that also integrated my spiritual path. Finding the right person to work with took some time, but the work that I knew we would be able to accomplish together was worth the wait.
In the time it took to get in touch with my mentor, teacher, and healer, I also learned how much inner strength I truly possess. As much support that I had, there was so much that I had to do on my own, work that only I could do for myself, and in doing so, I readied myself for the work I would do later on.
There were times last year where I forgot who I was, where I felt utterly destroyed and broken: because I was. The person I had known before was gone; I remembered being her, I remembered her easy laugh and her seemingly endless compassion and understanding, I remembered how much she wanted to be a rock for the people around her. But I had lost her, she was like the shadow of a dream that could be so scarcely felt, and the feeling of that previous me, was shattered, was hollow, was just, not there anymore.
Even now it's difficult to look back and remember those months where Purgatory had come to Earth and I seemed to be its sole occupant. Flip the coin over however, and it's encouraging to know how much progress I have made in taking back my life, to know how much will power, resolve, determination, and drive I possess, all of which no one can give or take away, that are truly part of who I am as a person, regardless of what happens in my life.
In addition to the Tower being my tarot card for 2016, numerologically, it was also a 9 year. A year for tying up loose ends, a year for endings, for completion, a year to let go of so much...
I wrote numerous times last year about how long it the year seemed, how weeks and months felt like years in and of themselves, September especially was quite a challenging month. By the time the holidays came, it didn't feel quite real, like some how I had actually made it to the end of 2016, and I couldn't have been more grateful to put that year behind me.
If you're curious how to find this information and/or if you are new to numerology (I am certainly no expert) - you take the year, 2017 and you add each number individually. In this case, the sequence would look like this:
2+0+1+7= 10
1+0= 1
To find your tarot card for the year, you would take your birth month and day, and the current year. So for example, this is how I have found mine:
1+2+3+1+2+0+1+7= 17
I would then locate the seventh card in the Major Arcana, and this year my card is, The Star.
As I was reading about The Star, in one of the companion's for one of my decks, the refer to the numerological counter part of the Star, which happened to be Strength. I also decided to look at last years card and the numerological counter part of the Tower which was The Hanged Man.
I decided to revisit last year's card and its counter part. Maybe it's the fact that last year is behind me, or maybe it's because I'm in a place where I am ready to see from a fresh perspective, regardless of why, each card so clearly describes the trials and miracles of 2016.
With The Tower depicting the utter destruction and loss that I experience, to the feelings of dread, helplessness, and inability to move forward that are depicted in the Hanged Man. Rather than focusing on the darkness that I found myself in, with the help of my loved ones, my guides spirit and otherwise, I was able to find and fight for the possibility of creation, to find the calm within myself to make the decision to go after my attacker through the uncertainty of the justice system.
Because I had nothing else to hold on to, I chose to believe that even though I had suffered such a horrific event, that the Universe truly was protecting me, and that justice would be served. I chose to believe that despite the tear filled journey to recovery, that there was a greater purpose in place, and that some how, I would make the most of what happened to through helping others who experienced the same horrors.
Turning now towards the future, to The Star and to its counter part Strength, I am prepared to open myself fully to the healing and the magic of the Universe. I am prepared to take the next step in welcoming to love and the gifts of the Universe because I know now more than ever that I am worthy of such things.
In the DruidCraft Tarot, they make the connection of the woman pictured in The Star to the Celtic goddess Brigidh, the same goddess who lit the fire within me, the first goddess whose energy I felt as a child, and the goddess whom I feel the most connection to, as she is a goddess of Healing Water and Sacred Flame.
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| Cards and Counter Parts from the DruidCraft Tarot |
The Star's counter part Strength refers to not just a boost in physical vitality, but of emotional endurance; having faced such strong oppositions, positioning yourself into a strong mental position. Retaining composure, and compassion while standing your ground.
A quote from the Oceanic Tarot about the card Strength, "What opposes you is lower then you are..."
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| Cards and Counter Parts from the Oceanic Tarot |
This quote speaks volumes to me, and reminds me of all that I have risen above, and how I continue to do so by staying true to who I am, my needs, and my path.
Even now within just the first two weeks of 2017, I already feel the weight of the past year alleviated. Depending in who you ask, numerologically 2017 is a 1/10 year. A year of new beginnings, of mastery.
Going into this year there is already so much to be grateful for, so much potential already taking shape in the physical realm.
I have my first performance review with my new employer which could very well result in a pay raise. As I mentioned before, withing the next couple of weeks I will be celebrating the first year of my relationship with an amazing man, with whom I will be taking the next step and building a home together. I will continue my training and healing with my current teacher and mentor as well as beginning official Reiki training, in addition I will be seeking a mentor and teacher to help take my tarot reading to the next level.
And that's only what I have in mind until roughly March or April. I think it goes without saying that I hope to be able to keep up with this blog all throughout the year, and perhaps even begin a new adventure.
This year is bright and young and perhaps for the first time, I am in fact ready to be in a happy, healthy, prosperous, and productive place; mind, body, and soul.
I hope all of you are just as excited about this year as I am.
Brightest Blessings to you all,
~Thealynn
©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf
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