Hello 2017 and hello to all of you, welcome back to Through the Secret Door.
I was thinking about this place the other day, and I realized that since I started this project, I have consistently 'disappeared' from around Samhain to Imbolc, or roughly from November to February, give or take a post or two.
What got me thinking about it is the fact that I do the same thing with my personal life, I tend to retreat during those months and focus mostly on work. Seasonal illness tends to play a role in that also, but I'm realizing that between those times my spiritual practice tends to take a back seat, and once the craziness of the holidays die down and I recover, that's when I tend to feel myself wanting to get back to the routines I try to maintain throughout the rest of the year.
Being that this is the first year that I've noticed this pattern, I'm hoping that I will be able to keep that in mind, and that I find a way to maintain a good balance between my work life and my spiritual life.
With all of that to say, I think I want to focus on simply writing and sharing my thoughts and experiences, at least for the time being. I wrote last year about a particular event, and while I have come so far in reclaiming my life and getting back on track, the journey is not over yet.
Despite some of the horrific events that took place last year, there were also some wonderful experiences and changes that made dealing with the horrible stuff manageable.
In 2016 I ended an unhealthy relationship and through that process I realized how much I put others before myself and learned how important being fair to myself truly is.
Once I made the decision to put myself first, the Universe brought my current partner into my life, and while we differ on some aspects, I couldn't ask for a more supportive, understanding, and solid individual to experience this life with. I am happy to say that come March we will be celebrating our first year as a couple and will be living together.
As a result of being attacked, I returned to therapy and after a couple of months of working with a non-spiritual therapist, I made the switch to work with a teacher and mentor whom I had previously taken classes with regarding shielding and healing.
I am so grateful that I listened to my inner voice and made the decision to work with this person as we not only work to heal the hurt and trauma of that particular event, but that we also go deeper into the hurts of my past, as well as working towards the future.
I changed jobs twice last year, and am happy to say that I finally work for a company that shares my values and ideals that is still young enough that there is ample opportunity for growth. It's not where I plan on staying forever as I intended for my spiritual work to eventually become my full time profession, but it's nice knowing that I have such a stable foundation to work from.
Last year I expressed my desire to learn and work with my chakras, and that is something I will be picking back up this year. I plan on continuing to work with stones, scents, candles, meditation, and cards just like last year. In addition I've also sent away for a couple of books, and CDs that I think will help to deepen my understanding a provide good references that will be good to have on hand. I'll be sure to share titles and pictures as soon as they all finish arriving.
I will also be continuing to deepen my knowledge of tarot and honing my reading skills through study of individual cards, including my tarot card of the year. I think I'll save that piece of information for another post as I have a few thoughts to share regarding last year's card.
I think this is where I am going to leave today's post. It feels good getting back into the saddle, and I hope that I am able to maintain this feeling of quietness and focus to just sit and being willing to share.
I hope each and everyone of you had a joyous holiday season and a safe fun new year.
Until next time,
Brightest Blessings,
Thealynn
©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf
Showing posts with label Chakras. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chakras. Show all posts
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Friday, May 20, 2016
Ostara's Easter and the Self Love of the Sacral
Hey loves,
It's been some time since I've felt compelled to write, even though I think about this blog almost every single day. Some times it takes something out of the everyday routine to prompt the urge, even the need to write.
As I'm sure most of you know by now, assuming you've been with me before - I've been on my path for a good while now, and if I'm being frank, half of my family is on what most folks would consider the other side of the fence.
As with most most holidays, my family wanted to spend Easter together, even if it was only a meal - which we had planned to do after they had attended a church service in the morning.
It was perhaps a week and a half prior to these plans when my mother called me. I knew from the moment she got on the phone that something was on her mind. Her tone was more than enough to tell me that whatever she was going to say was going to be difficult for her.
To my relief, it was not a family emergency, it was something considerably more simple.
She wanted me to go to church with them.
Now, my mother knows that I have a different belief system, one that she personally cannot condone or understand; mostly I think because she's already made up her mind about it.
Unlike me, I don't think she's ever doubted her faith or her beliefs, which I genuinely commend her for - so much of the pain and trails she's experienced, we experienced together.
The moment I heard her voice crack, I knew what she was going to ask me.
"I know that you have different beliefs, and we've never talked about them. But it really would me so much if you came to church."
"Oh Mom, it's okay."
"I don't want it to be like my parents where beliefs are pressured to the point where it causes problems, but-"
"Mom. I love you, and I respect you; and if it means that much to you, of course I'll go."
She pulled herself together after that, and I decided not to ask her the main question that was on my mind.
What exactly did she think that church was going to do for me? What about this Easter service was going to reach me in such a way that I could potentially, completely change my way of thinking?
In this particular instance, it only reaffirmed my stance, and strengthened my resolve.
In the midst of counting everything of pagan origin in an attempt to not fall asleep, something about the message for today got to me. As might be expected, the sermon was all about Jesus being resurrected and how it was good news for us all; because we'd finally be able to get into heaven.
While I will not go into every single piece that I disagreed with, there is one that I refuse to be silent about.
While his sermon was unorganized, poorly rehearsed, and over all lacking; this preacher had enough nerve to tell every person sitting in the audience, that they are broken.
This was by no means a small congregation - they were recording from a number of locations and streaming it live online. I don't want to make any grand assumptions about the tax free institution but I think it's fair to say he was quite ballsy in his accusation.
I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of telling a complete stranger that I've never even made eye contact with, that they are broke, unworthy, and really rather pointless without my perspective of what my higher power looks like, is nothing short of egotistical.
As I sat there in that auditorium, I was fuming. I no longer cared if my distaste and displeasure was obvious to anyone. In fact, I even hoped that he would look over and see how disgusted I felt. I hoped that from where I was in my seat, that he could feel the echos of what it really meant to be broken.
To feel that sense of helplessness, of emptiness; the feeling of complete and utter self loathing and failure that comes with being broken. I wanted more than anything for a single moment for him to experience the way the breath catches as one inches towards to edge of oblivion, and the terror of uncertainty even at the brink of making the unchangeable decision to finally release and let go, or to hang on with nothing but the bleeding chips that were once fingernails.
I physically craved for him to know this darkness. I felt my own ego crying out for him to choke on his words as he attempted to pick apart the idea of "different roads leading to the same end" and how by doing that it leaves each individual the ultimatum of deciding what 'good' really means.
At this point I'm sure I could go off on a tangent about balance between light and darkness, good and evil. I could string together pretty words about how the freedom to choose is in fact a blessing and a curse, and that there really is no such thing as 'not choosing' because when it comes to so much of life, there is always a choice.
If I'm being completely honest at this point, this has without a doubt been one of the most difficult articles for me to write. It's taken several attempts not just with trying to convey my ideas and feelings, but also several rounds of technical issues in which everything below the previous paragraph was lost.
More than once the time and effort felt wasted, in one instance I became enraged that for whatever reason there was nothing saved because I was so proud of the picture I had spun together reaching so far and deep within me to create and it was simply gone.
Easter was back in March, and even if this post was going to be a few weeks late, the subject matter was such that I felt it was justified with so much to process. As I am sitting here now reading back over everything, those emotions feel like an echo of someone who felt wronged by a stranger who will never know my name, never know my story; because to him they are all the same in the end.
And maybe for him that's true, and if so, then that's his prerogative. But in the end what it boiled down to me was that he has a very different idea of what love is, and means. From where I'm standing his love feels shallow and weak, and conditional.
I cannot speak for anyone else by myself, but I sincerely believe that love doesn't last without sincere dedication, hard work, struggle, and often times, pain.
They say that nothing worth having is easy/easily obtained. And I genuinely believe that.
While I might not feel like this everyday, at the core of my being, I am grateful for the trials I've experienced. I'm grateful for the people who made life difficult because it lead me to the people who helped me see the strength within myself to conquer those trials.
I'm grateful that I found a belief system that believes in me as I am, accepts me as I am, and doesn't ask me to change unless it's for my greater good. I'm grateful that I belief in such a way that encourages me to love and accept everyone around me for the who they are, even if I don't necessarily agree with them.
With all of that being said, I'm grateful for that preacher. Because not only did he reinforce that I'm on the right path for my personal growth and life, but he also helped me grow from a place of resentment to a place of gratitude.
One of the most beautiful things about self love is that once you find it, you stop concerning yourself with those who lack self love. And when you do interact with those people, they don't have the ability to feed that sense of self loathing because you've already fed it with love and understanding and compassion, which you can then share with those who are also looking for it.
When I originally began this journey through my chakras, I had the idea to go through them within a years time, spending approximately seven weeks on each chakra.
I however have spend the last three months working with this one chakra, and have only move on to the Solar Plexus chakra this past week.
My original intention was not so much to limit myself to working with each one for a set amount of time, but more to deepen my admittedly basic knowledge and to widen my tool set on how to work with each one.
I'm also coming to understand that when I move on to the next chakra, I take the essence of the previous chakras with me, I continue to work with them, it's more that my focus shifts to the next, not my entire self.
Some of the tools I used while focusing on my sacral charka were the Aloha Bay candles, both pillar and tealight, Sun's Eye Sacral Chakra oil, and the stones I used were Orange Calcite and Yellow Jasper.
I didn't do to much meditation on this chakra as much as self evaluation. I also had many discussions with those of like mind who are on similar paths, as I was not only curious for their input but I also rely on their council.
I am going to leave you with this amazing affirmation I found while simply scrolling through some photos, not only because I think it applies to everything I discussed here but because I was so sincerely moved by it's words. I feel it also ties into the next subject I'll be talking about here Through the Secret Door.
Until next time my loves,
Light, love, and blessings to you all,
Thealynn
It's been some time since I've felt compelled to write, even though I think about this blog almost every single day. Some times it takes something out of the everyday routine to prompt the urge, even the need to write.
As I'm sure most of you know by now, assuming you've been with me before - I've been on my path for a good while now, and if I'm being frank, half of my family is on what most folks would consider the other side of the fence.
As with most most holidays, my family wanted to spend Easter together, even if it was only a meal - which we had planned to do after they had attended a church service in the morning.
It was perhaps a week and a half prior to these plans when my mother called me. I knew from the moment she got on the phone that something was on her mind. Her tone was more than enough to tell me that whatever she was going to say was going to be difficult for her.
To my relief, it was not a family emergency, it was something considerably more simple.
She wanted me to go to church with them.
Now, my mother knows that I have a different belief system, one that she personally cannot condone or understand; mostly I think because she's already made up her mind about it.
Unlike me, I don't think she's ever doubted her faith or her beliefs, which I genuinely commend her for - so much of the pain and trails she's experienced, we experienced together.
The moment I heard her voice crack, I knew what she was going to ask me.
"I know that you have different beliefs, and we've never talked about them. But it really would me so much if you came to church."
"Oh Mom, it's okay."
"I don't want it to be like my parents where beliefs are pressured to the point where it causes problems, but-"
"Mom. I love you, and I respect you; and if it means that much to you, of course I'll go."
She pulled herself together after that, and I decided not to ask her the main question that was on my mind.
What exactly did she think that church was going to do for me? What about this Easter service was going to reach me in such a way that I could potentially, completely change my way of thinking?
In this particular instance, it only reaffirmed my stance, and strengthened my resolve.
In the midst of counting everything of pagan origin in an attempt to not fall asleep, something about the message for today got to me. As might be expected, the sermon was all about Jesus being resurrected and how it was good news for us all; because we'd finally be able to get into heaven.
While I will not go into every single piece that I disagreed with, there is one that I refuse to be silent about.
While his sermon was unorganized, poorly rehearsed, and over all lacking; this preacher had enough nerve to tell every person sitting in the audience, that they are broken.
This was by no means a small congregation - they were recording from a number of locations and streaming it live online. I don't want to make any grand assumptions about the tax free institution but I think it's fair to say he was quite ballsy in his accusation.
I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of telling a complete stranger that I've never even made eye contact with, that they are broke, unworthy, and really rather pointless without my perspective of what my higher power looks like, is nothing short of egotistical.
As I sat there in that auditorium, I was fuming. I no longer cared if my distaste and displeasure was obvious to anyone. In fact, I even hoped that he would look over and see how disgusted I felt. I hoped that from where I was in my seat, that he could feel the echos of what it really meant to be broken.
To feel that sense of helplessness, of emptiness; the feeling of complete and utter self loathing and failure that comes with being broken. I wanted more than anything for a single moment for him to experience the way the breath catches as one inches towards to edge of oblivion, and the terror of uncertainty even at the brink of making the unchangeable decision to finally release and let go, or to hang on with nothing but the bleeding chips that were once fingernails.
I physically craved for him to know this darkness. I felt my own ego crying out for him to choke on his words as he attempted to pick apart the idea of "different roads leading to the same end" and how by doing that it leaves each individual the ultimatum of deciding what 'good' really means.
At this point I'm sure I could go off on a tangent about balance between light and darkness, good and evil. I could string together pretty words about how the freedom to choose is in fact a blessing and a curse, and that there really is no such thing as 'not choosing' because when it comes to so much of life, there is always a choice.
If I'm being completely honest at this point, this has without a doubt been one of the most difficult articles for me to write. It's taken several attempts not just with trying to convey my ideas and feelings, but also several rounds of technical issues in which everything below the previous paragraph was lost.
More than once the time and effort felt wasted, in one instance I became enraged that for whatever reason there was nothing saved because I was so proud of the picture I had spun together reaching so far and deep within me to create and it was simply gone.
Easter was back in March, and even if this post was going to be a few weeks late, the subject matter was such that I felt it was justified with so much to process. As I am sitting here now reading back over everything, those emotions feel like an echo of someone who felt wronged by a stranger who will never know my name, never know my story; because to him they are all the same in the end.
And maybe for him that's true, and if so, then that's his prerogative. But in the end what it boiled down to me was that he has a very different idea of what love is, and means. From where I'm standing his love feels shallow and weak, and conditional.
I cannot speak for anyone else by myself, but I sincerely believe that love doesn't last without sincere dedication, hard work, struggle, and often times, pain.
They say that nothing worth having is easy/easily obtained. And I genuinely believe that.
While I might not feel like this everyday, at the core of my being, I am grateful for the trials I've experienced. I'm grateful for the people who made life difficult because it lead me to the people who helped me see the strength within myself to conquer those trials.
I'm grateful that I found a belief system that believes in me as I am, accepts me as I am, and doesn't ask me to change unless it's for my greater good. I'm grateful that I belief in such a way that encourages me to love and accept everyone around me for the who they are, even if I don't necessarily agree with them.
With all of that being said, I'm grateful for that preacher. Because not only did he reinforce that I'm on the right path for my personal growth and life, but he also helped me grow from a place of resentment to a place of gratitude.
One of the most beautiful things about self love is that once you find it, you stop concerning yourself with those who lack self love. And when you do interact with those people, they don't have the ability to feed that sense of self loathing because you've already fed it with love and understanding and compassion, which you can then share with those who are also looking for it.
When I originally began this journey through my chakras, I had the idea to go through them within a years time, spending approximately seven weeks on each chakra.
I however have spend the last three months working with this one chakra, and have only move on to the Solar Plexus chakra this past week.
My original intention was not so much to limit myself to working with each one for a set amount of time, but more to deepen my admittedly basic knowledge and to widen my tool set on how to work with each one.
I'm also coming to understand that when I move on to the next chakra, I take the essence of the previous chakras with me, I continue to work with them, it's more that my focus shifts to the next, not my entire self.
Some of the tools I used while focusing on my sacral charka were the Aloha Bay candles, both pillar and tealight, Sun's Eye Sacral Chakra oil, and the stones I used were Orange Calcite and Yellow Jasper.
I am going to leave you with this amazing affirmation I found while simply scrolling through some photos, not only because I think it applies to everything I discussed here but because I was so sincerely moved by it's words. I feel it also ties into the next subject I'll be talking about here Through the Secret Door.
Until next time my loves,
Light, love, and blessings to you all,
Thealynn
Monday, February 1, 2016
Facing My Chakras
This article was originally started on January 25th and was only lacking a few links below when my eyes and brain decided that I needed sleep. I considered changing the flow of the beginning, but decided that it was just as well that leave it.
I hope you enjoy!
Happy Mercury Goes Direct Day!
If you're not sure what that means, that's okay. If you're curious, you can follow the link here and learn all about Mercury Retrograde.
For those who are familiar with Mercury's patterns, you'll possibly be a little more understanding as to why I've stayed a bit on the down low, especially since my current laptop has been having technically problems without Mercury's help.
One thing about Mercury Retrograde that I do love though, is the opportunity to really spend those few weeks looking inward, and focusing on what magic I can work not only for myself but also for others.
I'm learning more and more how much I avoided healing for so long, and how severally it affected nearly every aspect of my life. The Universe has really had to poke and prod me to this point but I've been awakening and warming up to the idea of stepping into my role as a healer.
When I first went in to write that last sentence, I almost wrote "...idea of becoming a healer." Spirit made me stop and really think about that statement.
As broken has I have been and as low as I've found myself, I've always had this goal, this gift, this purpose; of being a healer, being a spiritual guide, of being the light for those who feel too frightened to take the necessary steps.
There were times in the last couple of years where my struggles overflowed into the lives of my loved ones because due to the lack of control I possessed when it came to what I was attempting to work through.
After making a series of changes, I've begun moving to a place where I'm able to not only see my soul's purpose, but my passion as well. I have no illusions about putting myself on any kind of time frame as to how long it will take for this to turn into a career or anything along those lines. For now I am viewing this journey as my own way of thanking the Universe for its support and guidance, and as a promise to not turn a blind eye or to tune out the messages I receive.
One adventure that I've decided to embark on for this year (2016) is I am going to be working on and paying special attention to my chakras.
I've known about the concept of chakras for a few years, and even received a chakra necklace as a birthday gift around 2010 - and it's just now that I am really open to how they work, how they affect everyday life, and what I can do to help myself by being aware of them.
If this is your first time hearing about chakras, there is a channel on Youtube called Spirit Science that has a couple of videos about chakras that make it really easy to understand that I really enjoyed. Here's the link for that: Intro to Chakras.
At the end of the year I am hoping that I'll be able to write an article combining the knowledge I've gained, what I will be doing different for the following year, as well as any tips I picked up along the way.
When I decided that this would be one of my self projects for this year, I was trying to determine how much time I should spend working on each chakra. With there being seven (main) chakras, I wanted to spend a good amount of time with each one, but stick to the one year time frame, starting from root to crown.
After doing a little math, I landed on working with each chakra for seven weeks. Seven chakras, seven weeks landed me with 49 weeks, leaving me with three weeks to play with.
As I go along however, I will be sharing the tools I am using for my work with each chakra. The main tools that I have been using are; candles, stones, meditation, and essential oil. I'll make sure to include links to my favorite meditations.
The candles I have been using are from Aloha Bay. About this time last year when I was working on healing my heart space, which I wrote about in my Open Heart Series, I burned the heart chakra candles.
The smell is amazing, they burn beautifully and they come in two different sizes. I've also been using Root Chakra essential oil from Sun's Eye. They smell fantastic, and prior to acquiring my oil burner I would just take a wiff or two whenever I needed some grounding and reminding of my work.
I've been working with a couple of different stones to connect and to help heal my root chakra. The first stone I've been working with is garnet. Partially because it is a root chakra stone but also because it's a good stone for Capricorn, which I am.
As an additional way to connect and become more aware, I've been working with the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Cards by Tori Hartman. One the full and new moons I pull a card to see which chakra needs some healing and love, because I believe it's important to not ignore the rest while I might be focusing on one.
A friend purchased the set, and was kind enough to let me work with them a little bit, and I fell in love with them. I fully intend on acquiring my own.
One card in particular as come up almost every time I pulls cards, which I think is really quiet beautiful.
Before I even decided to begin this journey with my chakras, this card came to me, and I have to say it's repeated appearance serves as a reminder and a re-enforcement for the path that I am starting on.
Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I will be ready and able to write about my tarot card for 2016 as well as the card's counter part as I believe it could also give some additional insights.
I mentioned above that I have been using meditation as a tool to assist me in connecting with my root chakra, here are the three that I have found that I really enjoy.
They vary in length, as some times you have more time to meditate some days than others.
I'm including three different Root Chakra meditations, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and 25 minutes.
This ten minute meditation is composed of beautiful singing bowls. Perfect if you only have a few minutes, and just want to get in touch with your root chakra.
Singing Bowl Root Chakra Meditation
This next meditation is the one I started out with. It's almost a half an hour long, and it's guided, which can be incredibly helpful if you're not used to meditating, or if you're new to working with your chakras, like I am.
Guided Root Chakra Meditation
This meditation is probably my favorite one, it's a good amount of time and really gets you connected with your root chakra. One thing I will say about this meditation is that rather than having any kind of call back, it just ends.
I would recommend setting some kind of timer for a minute or so after the meditation ends to help bring you back, I've also found that wiggling fingers and toes helps to bring back the feeling of being grounded; and I always encourage people I work with to take their time coming out of a meditative state.
Deepak Chopra Root Meditation
I hope you find these meditations helpful, and that if you do begin your own journey working on your chakras, please know that there is no 'appropriate time frame' to work on each one.
Light, love, and blessings to you all,
Thealynn
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