Yuletide

Good evening lovies,

Prior to my last post, I took a little bit of a break from writing to give myself a chance to breath and to refuel a bit. When I sat down to write Behind Door Number One, I was a little nervous to do so, and it really did take a lot of energy out of me.

I am so happy I did though, because not only was I able to face a darker truth about myself, I am much more able to see how it's been affecting different aspects of my life and it's not so easily swept under the rug.

So, before I jump into the topic for tonight, I wanted to say thank you for being a support of that piece of my journey. Even if you're reading all of this months later, I still appreciate your presence. I would like to send everyone who has read or will read that post, and everyone who deals with similar trials a heartfelt energy hug. Thank you.

~*~

Now, this is a topic that has been on my mind that last few days, and while I have so many things that I want to write about, I feel like this is the perfect time to talk about this particular subject.  It even came up during work this afternoon, and while I had absolutely no intention of writing tonight as fatigue is not a fun friend, I simply felt compelled to do so, and well, here I am!

This time of year can bring a lot of mixed emotions, as it can be a very complex time for a lot of people. The holiday season in America has gone through many phases, and it certainly has not slowed down.

The month of December can be complicated. It's a very special time of year for a lot of folks, and I don't mean just the warm and fuzzy stuff.

There is a political, religious, secular, and emotional aspect for about the last six weeks of the year, if you want to include Thanksgiving. You have a variety of holidays celebrated by a variety of faiths all on a different level of commitment. There is traveling, and money flying everywhere and potential family obligations (depending on how you feel about your family). It can be the most wonderful time of the year. It can also be a very heart heavy time of the year, filled with loneliness, heartbreak, hunger, and a feeling of inadequacy.

I have been very fortunate in that for the most part, this time of year has been a very happy time of year for me, full of love and laughter, time spent with the people that I love. There have also been times when it didn't feel very joyful at all.

There were times that I spent without most of my family, and I relied on my friends and the family of my ex, whom I loved very much, and still do, but it's not quite the same.

I think most of us can say that though. "...but it's not quite the same." This time of year can make us long for what no longer is, or what could have been.

As I look around my little hobbit hole, I do not have festive decorations. No tree or lights or knick knacks. And it does make me a little sad, I love this time of year. One of my favorite things about this time of year is the decorations, overall they just make me feel happy and peaceful. Despite the lows that I have experience in my life, as short as it has been, I have always had a special place in my heart for Yuletide.

The holidays can get a little complicated for those of us who practice a faith differently then our families. Mine is kind of split, I have some who are very Christian and believe that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, and then there are those who also celebrate Yule.

During work this afternoon I had a customer say something along the lines of "I would say 'Happy Holidays' but I don't want my head bitten off."

I gave her a sincerely puzzled look and ask her, "Why would anyone bite your head off for that?"

She went on to explain that she had noticed people being offended, and correcting her with "Merry Christmas." I nodded in understanding and shared with her that I always say 'Happy Holidays', and that if someone says 'Merry Christmas' in return, I give them a warm smile and return the sentiment. Because while I might not celebrate Christmas religiously, I celebrate it in a secular manner, and that for me it's more about spending time with family.

My assistant manager and I talked a little bit about it after the customer had left, and she expressed how she was offended when people insisted on 'Merry Christmas' bringing up the point of Hanukkah, and so on, and being someone who didn't believe in anything, she felt it was inconsiderate.

Rather than getting into a distracting conversation, because we were at work, I left it where it lay, comfortable and happy with my stance on the subject. Because at the end of the day, regardless of which holiday you observe, I hope that there will be time with loved ones making memories that will last a life time. As mine certainly have, and will.

Growing up it was Christmas, and some of my favorite memories are of Christmas time with my family, decorating the house and the tree, listening to Christmas music-which I still do. Of course now it has a very different meaning to me. As fun and appreciated as presents are (because seriously, who doesn't love getting presents) this year I am going to be focusing on a very spiritual aspect.

So this holiday season, I am going to be celebrating holiday tradition of spending time with my family, for Christmas and my grandfather's birthday which falls on the Winter Solstice-something I still giggle over. As a part of a new tradition, I have decided that I will light a candle for everyone I know that is missing someone during the holiday season. I will take a piece of paper and write down their name and honor those whom I love, and the ones that they love.

 I will also be welcoming the birth of the sun, as it will shine the way for the new year and all of the amazing possibilities that lay before me. I said before that this will be my last year of living in fear, so as the moon wanes, I will finish the work I started on the full moon. I will finish releasing all that I have holding onto that no longer serves me, and when the new moon arrives, I will be ready to fill the empty space that the negativity left with light and love and positivity.

May you be surrounded by love and light this holiday season,

Many blessings to you and yours,

Thealynn


©2013-2015 Thealynn