I may be a bit late with the sentiment but I caught a cold for my birthday and have been snuggled up in bed with tea and my kitty cat.
Tomorrow starts the beginning of a new term at school which means a couple of things.
1. I need to somehow fix my sleep schedule real quick.
2. It is doubtful that I will be able to continue writing every couple of days has I have been doing these last few weeks.
I will continue to post while in school, I know that last time things became too overwhelming, but as most of the contributing factors are no longer an issue, I will be making an effort to post at least once a week in addition to updating the weekly oracle card. My hope is that Sunday will be my designated blog day, but please understand that the oracle card update may be all I am able to do some weeks.
Despite the cold, I am happy to be getting back to school. While my break was much needed and much appreciated, I am excited to be moving towards my goals again. This will be my third term of my first year, being on the quarter system helps break up the year and it makes me feel like I am getting much more done. It's all about perspective right?
One of the things I want to start doing with you all is sharing when I achieve a goal. As you may have read previously I have begun using the Leonie Dawson Create Your Shining Year work book, but I set one goal for myself before I began filling out the book. That goal was to fully let go and to forgive those who have hurt me and to forgive myself for hurting others.
While the list is a bit longer then I had originally thought, I was able to forgive and completely move on and let go of the two biggest names on that list. I wasn't sure I had really done it until I retrieved the last few boxes that had been somehow missed during my move.
I wasn't sure what all these boxes would hold, my ex certainly thought they were mine, and by looking at the top, he was right. But as I began to go through each one I couldn't help but laugh because the majority of the contents were in fact his!
Instead of feeling anger or resentment I continued going through the boxes separating everything between trash and donation. Rather then feeling the need to completely trash or burn his belongings I reboxed what could be donated, gave it all a good cleansing with some sage, said a blessing and now it's ready to find new homes.
It did occur to me for a very brief moment that he might want some of the things in these boxes, but it also occurred to me that if he had really been missing any of it, then all he had to do was look through them. I also remember having lunch with his mom on my birthday and how she mentioned all of the junk he had continued collecting.
I made the executive decision to follow through with my plan rather than going through the unavoidable drama of trying to return a few trinkets. At the end of the day, getting back in touch because of the boxes would only open the door that I had just firmly closed. It simply wasn't worth it.
I wanted to share this because even though it sounds like such a small thing, it's really one of the biggest changes I've made in my life. Knowing that if I believe in my heart the value of something and put my mind to it, that I can achieve it. I CAN make it happen.
Goals used to be something that intimidated me, because that meant that I needed to have a plan, and that if I didn't follow through then I was a failure.
I have completely changed my perspective on goals, and how I am going about them. Some goals are for me and my benefit, some are about helping to change the world around me. Goals are the action plan for your dreams, they help to make that dream come true.
Forgiving the people that I have, was not something I planned on doing, not even for myself. I was content to holding a space of hate for them forever. Slowly I began to realize that they would have no way of knowing that I still hated them. They would have no clue whatsoever that I still carried the burden of the experience that caused the hate.
Granted they would have no way of knowing I had forgiven them either. They would have no clue that I had picked up my life and that I am doing better without them, that I am making my life into what I want it to be.
It wasn't for them though; it was for me. Just like going through those boxes free of grudges and negativity was for me. Choosing to donate all of those clothes and items was for me. I decided late last year that 2014 would be my last year in fear. Hate is fear's partner in crime. I wasn't about to fall back into that space and that way of living when I have taken so many steps forward.
If I want to continue moving forward in all areas of my life, I need to have as little holding me back as possible. I need my heart light, and open to my intuition, and my guides. I need to be open to the Universe as I am provided with markers on this journey so that I can make the most of it.
Knowing that the first goal I made for myself is done, is such a gratifying experience. Having that mental check next to the item on that list gives me so much joy. It's not even a list I intend to keep! Feeling that space in my heart and soul empty of negativity and bitterness admitted feels strange, but now there is that much more space to fill with something much more beneficial.
Love.
I hope that you take this opportunity in the new year and full moon to release your fears and whatever else that may be keeping you from realizing your potential. If you have not already be sure to check out this weeks Oracle Card as it can help shed some light.
In love and light,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
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