Full Moon Reflections: Capricorn

Hey there loves,

I normally don't do this kind of update post, probably because I'm unaccustomed to seeing such significant change in such a short amount of time.

When I wrote about the Full Moon in Capricorn, I felt like I needed to vent as much as I wanted to share what I was learning. I had mentioned before my frustration with a few of my coworkers and how all I wanted was for the situation to be resolved, in the way I thought was best of course.

Without realizing it, I had become more angry and frustrated at how I felt that I was being treated, and I stopped seeing the bigger picture. I got tunnel vision if you will, so naturally when those blinders came off, not only did I feel foolish and a bit embarrassed, I also wanted to make things right.

I had a conversation with one coworker about how it felt when we worked together, and I heard her out. Turns out that she felt much the same way that I did; passing off responsibility, not doing our far share of the work, and at the end of the day not being excited to work with the other person.

I took the opportunity to apologize and did my best to make sure that they knew that I would do my best to communicate more openly if I was having an off day or feeling behind, that I would try to make sure they knew I was there to help them if they needed it.

We agreed that if the cycle that has been infecting our work place was to stop, it had to start somewhere, so it was going to start with us.

A different coworker, whom I perceived to be the one responsible for all of the turmoil, started showing up more, started doing more, and appeared to be putting in more of an effort. My boss had asked me to give this person a second chance, and at first I was admittedly reluctant.

I'd given out second chances before and it had never ended well for me, and that was just my personal relationships. This was supposed to be a professional environment, why the hell were they given a second chance? I firmly believed, despite being told otherwise, that any one would be given this second chance if they were in this person's shoes. It felt like they were being special treatment for unknown reasons, and truth be told, I resented everyone who was involved.

In retrospect I can see where I did not do a good job of hiding my opinion even though I never voiced it. I was not sincere or genuine with this person, and I did not listen to the undertones or body language which always said more than the words that were spoken.

After writing about what Spirit revealed to me, it really hit home that I needed to not just see and recognize these people and the parts of them that I recognized, but that I needed to honor them and where they are at in their journey.

I needed to do this not just for myself, but by doing so, it could completely change the atmosphere and the energy in my workplace when I worked with them. As all of this was sinking in I told my guides, I told Spirit that I was not confident in my ability to do so overnight. I was unsure of how successful I would be right away, but that I would try and that I wouldn't keep myself closed off from them as I had been doing.

It's not two weeks later, and I am surprised at myself but I'm also proud. One year, two years ago, I don't know if I would have been able to turn around so completely. I'm going to work feeling lighter, feeling more confident in my position, I don't dread working with these people any more, and I genuinely spend time asking the Universe to hold them and send them love and support because in my heart I know that somehow it can and will manifest for them. Even if it manifests through me.

I no longer feel like I am being denied opportunities because I have been given the amazing chance to do other things. Like spending one day a week in a different department which isn't remotely related to the one I am in now. I am able to dedicate time to writing here, I've been able to finish a really exciting project that now is just waiting for the green light from Spirit to go onto the next step, I reached a place where I was comfortable creating an online temple space on Facebook where I can connect and share openly and others can do the same if they feel called to do so.

Don't get me wrong, the Full Moon in Capricorn was a tough one. I felt it BIG TIME. But now as we are transitioning into the New Moon in Leo, and we are heading into the harvest season, I am starting to look back on what I have been able to bring to life so far this year, and I feel amazing.

The work is not done, and there is still time to create, I feel the fiery energy of Leo beckoning me to breath life into more projects, to ignore the fear that tells me that somehow I am not good enough to do what I want to do. The lion in my roars with confidence because it knows, and I know better.

I will say though that with the completion of the project mentioned above, there is a sense of finality in a way. I knew that I wouldn't launch the project straight away, so now I'm sitting in a space with two different energies; the first being that I want to take a breath and soak up the fact that I have never even attempted something like this and now it's done, the second energy is that of the new moon in Leo wanting to get out there and create more stuff!

So, I am going to try an honor both energies, I will take time to be in stillness and gratitude and really honor the work that I have put into the project, and at the same time put my energy into other projects.

One such project is the Facebook group I mentioned before. If you are interested in joining, I fully encourage you to do so. We're still a fairly small community but you are welcome to it! I'll leave the link here with you, Shakti's Circle.

All right loves, time to go spend some time in that stillness.

Don't forget to live freely and love fiercely,

~Thealynn


©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Full Moon, Late Night

Good evening loves,

Happy Full Moon in Cancer!

Oh man, it's been a little over two years since I felt so moved after a full moon ritual, that I wanted to write about it. In fact, I believe that it was my first full moon ritual with Sage Goddess that I felt my spirit awaken, and was filled with the desire to create. And for a while there, I was writing almost every day, there was so much that was on my mind, that I wanted to share, that so desperately needed to be released that for a time it was just pouring out all over the place.

You may very well be feeling similarly with the Moon in her home planet tonight. If you're feeling like a mess or feeling overwhelmed, rest assured that after tomorrow the Moon begins her journey to Leo, which should prove to be rather interesting next month given that (at least in the society where I reside) Valentine's Day is a HUGE focus point for February, regardless of whether it is viewed in a positive or negative light. (But who doesn't like moon light, right?)

If you are currently in the one state that does not currently have snow, I will admit, I am slightly envious. As I have mentioned previously, and as I say in my bio, I live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States; we don't really get snow here, and in fact, as of yesterday, we are in a State of Emergency. It's a big deal for us. 

This week I was given the unexpected gift of a three day weekend, which has been extended to four due to the weather, and in this time I have been able to be still, to be quiet, to go inward and connect with my spirit and my guides in a way which I have not experienced in longer then I wish were true. 

It's given me such a wonderful opportunity to come back here and to start anew with the new year, to remind myself how much I love doing this; writing and sharing and connecting with any and all of those who take the time to read what I have to say. 

With all this unexpected free time, I knew I wanted to dedicate as much time as possible doing the things that I feel like I 'don't have time for' such as ritual. It was really important to me to be present and participate in this month's ritual for a couple of reasons. The main reason being that I missed the feeling of ritual, I missed the guided meditations, I missed connecting with the Universe in such a profound way, as I am able to do during these rituals if I give myself the chance. 

Another reason it was so important to me to participate in the ritual tonight was because I felt a very subtle but sincere pull. Which really got my attention because earlier today I sat before my alter and prayed for the first time, maybe ever. In my prayers I petitioned my goddess and a god from a pantheon a world away to help me maintain this emotional stability I seem to have stumbled upon. I can't say exactly what triggered these feels of security, but I have just been overwhelmed with gratitude, and for what feels like the first time, I have been able to suppress the feelings of anxiety, nervousness, worry, fear. 

Ah, fear. My old nemesis. As I sat down to write about tonight's experience, I was reminded how I felt so compelled to write after my first full moon ritual, and I decided to glance over it to see what these two experiences might share. 

It was during that first ritual that I discovered how fear had wound its way into damn near if not every aspect of my life, and how determined I was to eliminate fear from my life, and how I believed that 2015 would be the best year of my life. Well, that just wasn't the case. 2015 turned out to be one of the most difficult years of my life, but looking back now I can see how much was purged; that it took being on the edge of emotional and mental crippling for me to pull myself back and to blossom into the person that I would always reach out for but could never quite touch. 

Just like my first ritual with Sage Goddess, if I had to describe my experience tonight using only one word, that word would be: intense. 

I've been sharing on my Facebook page and Instagram, and even in my previous posting how things have been almost eerily falling into place, and how there have been multiple signs and synchronicities over the last several days - since the snow came! -  and how it's almost been freaking me out. Almost. 

Rather than be skeptical or push these gifts away (out of fear, i.e. it's too good to be true), I have found myself smiling and laughing in delight, and expressing sincere gratitude almost without thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, there have been moments where I have felt the fear and the worry creeping up on me, and there have even been a few moments here and there where that negative energy has filled my whole body. But what is miraculous to me is that I have been able to dis-spell those feelings.

When I felt myself struggling to do so is when I went before my alter and called to the Universe to help support me. I voiced my concerns, I asked for guidance, for reassurance, for strength to keep on the track I have worked so hard to be on. 

December of 2014 I made a commitment to myself to expel fear from my life. Tonight during ritual we traveled to meet with Zues and Athena, and during that experience I was gifted with the quiet revelation that I have nothing left to fear. That the fear I experience is an illusion, a cheap trick of my ego to keep me in a place of suffering. 

I was given a gift from both Athena and Zues, and even now hours after closing the circle, I can still feel their presence, their love and the soft look of pride in their eyes. I don't know that I have ever felt pride from any deity that I have ever worked with. 

This ritual has provided me with so much clarity, so much hope, so much peace. Even our ritual leader, also named Athena, spoke of things that resonated with me so deeply. There was one thing in particular that she touched on that I felt really hit the nail on the head. 

She spoke of this energy that has been in the field that is prompting us (I say that as a general collective) to get moving and get working, like the energy of Spring has come early. Which may very well explain my burst of energy to work on this blog so diligently, in addition to a couple of other projects that I mentioned previously in the vaguest way possible (of course.)

She reminded us that we are still in the period of rest, and how important it is to continue to allow ourselves this time so that when Spring does come around, that we have our reserves still in place. Now, Spring doesn't officially come around until late March (for us here in the Northern Hemisphere anyway), but we don't necessarily have to wait that long. February 1st also know as Imbolc/Imbolg is when the Earth begins to thaw and we begin to see the first signs of new life, such as animals giving birth, flowers starting to bloom, hopefully warmer temperatures....

I am so grateful that Athena touched on this, because holy cow have I been feeling that go, go, go energy. For the most part I have been able to rein it in and keep it in check, if you don't count the five postings in the last three, maybe four days...

Retaining my energy may prove to be a bit of a challenge simply do to the fact that I will be moving in three weeks, which is really soon. I am not moving far and I don't have much to move, but moving tends to be stressful and in addition to having lots of books, I have heavy furniture. 

That being said, I will be in my new home right around Imbolc, which is one more beautiful synchronicity that the Universe is blessing me with, so, definitely no complaints here. Tomorrow is the last day of my 'snow-cation' and I have to say that I am looking forward to getting back to my regular routine. 

Since our lovely Moon is going to be spending another day in her home of Cancer, I would sincerely encourage you to take an hour, and check out January's Full Moon Ritual, even if you just watch. I think you'll come away feeling glad that you did. 

One final note; full moons are a fantastic time to release and with this being the first full moon of 2017, really consider what needs to be left in 2016. Allow yourself to come into 2017 with less on your plate, less on your shoulders, and less weighing on your heart. It's okay to let those things go. Some times that's what needs to happen in order for all of the new and wonderful things to appear in your life. 

I'm not saying that it's not difficult, or painful, or scary to do so. I am saying that you're strong enough, and that you deserve the peace that will come from moving on from what no longer serves you. You've made it this far, and just think of how much further you can go when you allow yourself the freedom to do so.

 Brightest Blessings to you all,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf