Be I Am

Good evening loves,

This might come as a bit of a surprise to some of you, but over the last few months I have been putting in considerable thought to what it might be like to make Spiritual sharing and coaching a full time thing. 

For some time I have had the pull to step into the role of a healer, especially considering the work I have put into my own healing journey, it occurred to me that I might just be in a good position to help others through their traumas using the same tools that helped me. 

I even reached out and found a wonderful coach who specializes in such things, and while we ended working in a slightly different direction, it never really left my mind.

I spent several weeks struggling to remain present as dates on the calendar brought me back to past events which impacted the course of my life. As much as I wanted to honor those spaces and those feelings, I was starting to get lost in those times while losing sight of the fact that I had moved past them bit by bit. 

During our last session I was given a bit of a wake up call to what I was doing and I cannot express how grateful I feel to be back in present time. In the weeks since, the topic has come up multiple times including a conversation I had with a coworker. She shared with me how over the course of several years she had been given the message "Be a Shaman" from her guides. She shared with me how she spent so much time trying to understand what that meant and how to get to that place. Hearing it again a couple of months ago, it finally clicked what her guides were asking her: BE a Shaman. She had to choose every single day to step into that role, to live her life as a Shaman, to BE.

Her story resonated with me so much that I began thinking to myself, that's exactly what I need to do. The words she spoke lined up with what one of my mentors was saying to me about living your life as if you're future is already here. 

If I want to be a healer, provide guidance, be a priestess; these are all things I can do right now. I AM a healer, I DO provide guidance, I AM a Priestess. My mentor spoke to me of living in what I want to bring about, and not waiting for a magical time when I just happen to find myself in my future, I literally have to create it. 

So, I started today. 

I have shared my passions with my teammates in my current profession mostly in passing conversation, and yesterday one of them took me up on it. We had spoken tentatively about getting together once before, and yesterday she was ready to take the plunge. As we settled on a time and place they asked me about also inviting another teammate, to which I was happy to encourage.

So last night I took a bath in an effort to unwind, during which I tried to figure out the best way to broach the subject of helping these people as I did not want to simply wing it. There was also the concern of how to transition from coworker and friend to client. I wasn’t confident in my ability to channel Spirit effectively and I began to worry. It was then that I heard the voice of the Goddess.

This might have been the clearest I have heard her in a long time. She shared with me how she could see and feel my anxiety, my fear of saying or doing the wrong things during the session and how I was concerned that I wouldn’t be what was expected.

She reminded me that these clients are clean slates, they have no expectations other than being genuinely heard, and how they already know that’s what they will be receiving from me because they have already received such from me time and again. These are clients that I already have an established relationship, and trust with, and how it is a testament to my person that they have accepted my offer to assist them in any way that I can.

She told me that the fear and the anxiety that I was feeling were merely the echoes of lives past in which I was ridiculed, abandoned, even killed for the gifts that I possess, and how they are coming up now because I am ready to heal those wounds and fully begin stepping into myself.

She told me, “No one is going to kill you for this, you are not going to die for helping people.”

It was then that my eyes welled with tears as I felt the phantoms of those wounds; the stones bruising my hands and feet, breaking my nose and blackening my eyes, the sharp edges of knives, swords, even axes cutting deep into my flesh and piercing my intestines, the blade of a knife scraping my scalp as they shaved my head, the fire burning my flesh, the noose around my neck, the water filling my lungs.

“I will never stop fighting, I will never cease to heal, I will never turn my back.”

Voice after voice rang in my ears, voices of men and women who were all once me, and I them. It brought me back to a day when I was on my way to work, I received a download of a memory from long ago. I was to be hung on the accusation of witchcraft, I was given one last chance to repent, and as I looked onto the crowd I took in every single face of the village. People I had known my whole life, children that I had helped to bring into the world, people I had nursed back to health, men whose battle wounds I had tended; there was some piety in their eyes, but it was mostly fear.

I began to tell them how I forgave each and every one of them, whether they had accused me or convicted me, whether they had remained silent or whether they defended me, whether they had ever spoken a harsh word or had returned my smiles, I forgave them. I knew I was not the first nor would I be the last, and when I came back to this Earth to return to my work, I would not return with hate in my heart, but with greater compassion for people just like them. Because it was people like me that people like them needed the most.

The Goddess went on to tell me that I was safe, that those wounds of the past did not need to come into the future with me as they had no place here in the present. She told me not to worry about how today would go, to simply go with an open heart and that things would be all right.

As much learning and re-membering that has been taking place for me recently, it’s always reassuring to me know that I have the support of the Universe. As much as I know that my guides are always with me, to have this experience with ‘real talk’ with the Goddess was something truly special.

I’m beginning to see how much in my own way that I can get, and how sometimes all it takes is slowing down, and simply BEing who and what I am. It’s been a couple of months since I have done a full moon ritual centered around release, but I think this upcoming full moon in Sagittarius is the perfect opportunity.

I am excited to say that the two individuals I mentioned earlier will be joining me, and have expressed their interest and desire to take this journey with me. It truly is an incredible honor to be in a place of service, it really does make my heart soar. 

Image from Pinterest

I AM a Healer 

I DO Provide Guidance

I AM a Priestess

Be

I

Am


Never shy away from who you are, the world needs you.

Do not be discouraged if you are still discovering who and what you are.

You are powerful, you are wise, you are capable.


~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Moonlight at the End of the Tunnel

Hey there loves,

How is the Full Moon in Leo treating you all? Are you feeling the affects of the eclipse? Were you able to see the comet from your part of the world?

Image from http://siriusastro.pl/

I don't know how the rest of you feel, but this year in particular the month of February feels rather...precarious. Perhaps because at least in my world, so many things have been shifting and moving around. Two major things have been settled within the first half of this month for me; the first being the move which you can read about in my Post Move Update, and the other which is still sinking in.

Before I jump in, I wanted to touch on something that I have noticed in my life, perhaps you have noticed in yours as well. Perhaps you're familiar with the saying, things happen in threes, I've even written a blog post with that exact title.

Over the last nine months I have written several times about my experience with sexual assault, my frustrations, my fears, the hope that I dared to carry as it was something I simply needed to hold onto.

The day before I was set to move, I was in my now old bedroom, finishing up the last of my packing when my phone began to ring. Looking at the caller ID, I knew it had to be one of two people, so I answered it. It was my attorney calling to get my input on what I would be satisfied with as far as a plea deal was concerned and confirming whether or not I had received my subpoena for the following week as we were set to go to trial.

Even now I am grateful that I was sitting down as this was the first I had heard since October. I had been told during that time that I could expect to hear sometime between January and February, but I certainly did not expect it to be right before my move. Rather than go over too many specifics over the phone, we set a meeting to discuss a potential plea deal and to prep for trial in the event that the deal was denied.

It was a long weekend as we waited to hear if the deal would be accepted, and while I wanted to much to be aligned with what would serve my highest good, I prayed to any and all that would listen, to grant me the grace of not going to trial. The thought of reliving the events of that night in excruciating detail would be difficult enough, but to do so in court in front of strangers and further more, causing my partner to relive the pain again made my stomach feel as though it were trying to reach the center of the Earth.

I got the call that Monday morning, the deal had been accepted. I was then asked if I wanted to attend the sentence hearing, and after giving it some thought, I decided to go. I had no desire to see my attacker again, but I knew that hearing and seeing him sentenced would provide a level of closure that I didn't think would be possible.

Sitting in the courtroom I was filled with nerves as we waited for him to be brought in, even remembering it down I can feel the nausea, the lightheaded tingling, my breath laboring as I still couldn't quite believe that I had finally made it to this moment.

Hearing him answer the judge's questions, his voice was strong and resolved, it was hard to tell what he was thinking. I knew he was still in denial about the damage that he had caused, but that didn't matter at this point.

Prior to the proceedings I was told that if I so wished, that I would be given the chance to make a statement, I couldn't begin to think of what I could possibly say that would be constructive, that would be meaningful. Truth be told, there was absolutely nothing that I wanted to say that I also felt needed to be said.

I was being granted justice, the one thing I've wanted more than anything else these last nine months. Sure, I suppose I could have said that while he has forever changed my life, that his will forever be ruined. That just because I agreed to a 'lesser charge' of Sexual Assault II versus Rape I that it doesn't change the meaning of what happened to me that night.  That regardless of what his record says or what he chooses to call himself, he is a rapist, and that will never change. Just as I will never not be a rape survivor ever again.

All of those sentiments would have fallen on deaf ears, and the truth is that I didn't want to him to have anything else from me as he had already taken so much.

It's difficult not to become emotional as I think of it all, as I look back at how much pain has been endured, not just by me, but also from the friends and family that watched and supported me as I struggled through to find the person that I was before all of this happened.

During last night's ritual, our ritual host and leader Athena, touched on the story of Isis and Osiris, how when Osiris was murdered by his brother, Isis traveled around the globe searching for the pieces of his being to put him back together, and how the act of re-membering him was the greatest act of love.

Last night we worked with deities from the Hindu tradition that I hadn't known about prior, Rati and Kamadeva; Goddess of Passion and God of Lust. She spoke of how they have a similar story, in that when Kamadeva was murdered, she traveled all around to collect his ashes so that she could re-member him.

Going into the meditative state, I knew could already feel how important being vulnerable and open to healing would be, I could also feel how the urge to resist was lying in wait, like an automatic reflex ready to pull me back.

During the meditation we were lead to a beautiful white marble temple and asked to lay on a bed/mattress in the middle of the room, with Rati and Kamadeva joining us on either side. Sensing my hesitation and my uneasiness, they created an energetic egg around us, and held me the way two parents would hold their frightened child.

I told them how much I knew I needed the healing, how I could almost see the pain slowly becoming a safety blanket and how I knew it wasn't what I wanted, but at the same time, it just happened all the same. They shared with me how the best way to dissolve such things lies in forgiveness. How forgiving the source of the pain is the best way to release it, and how they could see that I held that knowledge within me already. They asked me to please forgive my rapist, how it would be the last step in this process, and then it would simply be living a conscious life, something I was already doing.

I looked inside myself, despite knowing the answer. I saw the girl I was nine months ago, desperately holding into a ball of energy that was so many things all at once; denial, anger, unbelievable pain, sorrow, self-loathing, guilt.

I told them how I just didn't know how to forgive him right now, that I knew I should and that I wanted to want to, but that I couldn't bring myself to truly want to forgive him yet.

They each took on of my hands and showed me other men in my life who had caused me unspeakable pain:

My biological father; his abandonment, his drug and alcohol abuse, his literal denial of my identity. Yet I had forgiven him, and that through his actions I was introduced to a father who loves me unconditionally despite some difficult times.

My ex-fiance; his complete and utter mistreatment of me throughout the course of our relationship, his betrayal when he cheated on me with someone I considered to be a best friend, his swift resolve to move on and marry someone new less then two years after our engagement ended. Yet, I had forgiven him. Rather then considering our years together as wasted time, it provided me a clear picture of what I wanted from a relationship, from a partner.

Then there was my rapist. Yes, he was by far the worst in that he violated my being in every way that a person can be violated. And yet, from all of this I have gained so much, I have learned so much, and I will live a life far more fulfilling then I would have previously thought possible. I made it through the most difficult, painful, and trying event of my life, and here I was. And here I am.

We were beginning to be called back, I embraced each in turn and thanked them from the bottom of my heart for their love, their guidance and their healing. My journey to justice is complete, resolved. I sent my rapist to jail. I am in a beautiful new home with a man that I love and adore, two animals who make me laugh every day, and I am able to wake up every morning and be grateful for all of the miracles and blessings that have been gifted to me.

I realize and fully accept that forgiveness is something that I will come to in my own time and is something that I know will serve me, but I also know that some times when we resolve to forgive people who have hurt us, it can feel like we are 'giving them a pass' for what happened to us. It can feel like we are sweeping it under the rug, it can feel like we are saying that those events didn't happen, that what we endured doesn't matter.

What forgiveness really means, is that in spite of the pain and struggle, that we are more important then the person who hurt us. That our happiness, our love for ourselves, and our desire to move on is more important then staying in those spaces where it hurts. That's not to say that we are always ready to immediately move on from the hurt, because nothing heals over night. I'm not ready to fully move on from the pain and suffering that I feel. Some days I feel it more then others, and when I have those days, it's just as important to acknowledge and honor the pain for what it is.

For me personally, forgiveness means that I am not willing to live in the past. It means that I care more about my future then I do about what happened to me trying to get to where I want to go. By forgiving those who have hurt me, it means that I am choosing to become stronger rather then let those experiences weaken me.

Having these views and these beliefs doesn't always make things easier, in fact, most of the time it makes things more difficult, but it makes every experience infinitely worth more.

Whatever you might being going through, however you might be struggling, please know that you are never alone. As impossible as it may feel, you are strong enough to get through the struggles that you're facing.

The resources that I am sharing below, I have shared once before, but if this is your first time with me, I want to be sure that you see these. Use them yourself, share them with your friends and family, or perhaps you don't know who they will help, you never know who will benefit from them. I know that they have certainly helped me.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-273-TALK
Here is the link to the private chat: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx


National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or 1-800-656-HOPE
Here is the link to the private chat: https://hotline.rainn.org/online/terms-of-service.jsp


https://www.rainn.org/
RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. They are bursting with information, and one of the main resources I used, including their confidential chat which I utilized while I decided on a therapist.

https://www.notalone.gov/resources/
Not Alone was also incredibly helpful because it provided me with a list of crisis centers as well as a hot line that is confidential and 24/7

http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp_national_type.php?type_id=1056
WomensLaw is a great site for information about different organizations, statics, and additional resources to get you the help that you need.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Lifeline is always a resource to be aware of regardless of what crisis you might be facing, there is someone who is willing to be there for you.

Love and Healing to you now and always dear ones,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Post Move Update

Hey there loves,

I can honestly say that I don't think I've had so much happen in a seven day span as this previous week. I doubt that in this particular update that I will touch on everything that has taken place, but I just wanted to take some time and talk to you all.

As of yesterday I have been in my new home for one week, and am pleased to say that for the most part my partner and I are settled in. The move went smoothly enough, with the small exception that we were informed of a minor flood in our apartment that had been discovered a few days prior.

We were very fortunate to be moving into a space that had been updated with new appliances, carpet, counter tops, a fresh paint job, etc. It turns out that when the new washer and dryer were being installed the valve on the hot water heater cracked and went unnoticed at first, so we spent the first few days in our new space with very large fans designed to remove all of the moisture not just from the carper but from the walls also, which thankfully was successful.

A minor downside is that we are still waiting to have some of the floor boards put back into place and a section of the wall in our laundry area rebuilt which has prevented us from putting together our bookshelves, and as that it is the remainder of what needs to be unpacked, it's hard not to feel accomplished for such a short amount of time.

One side affect of not having our bookshelves together is that I have not set up any sort of alter or sacred space as of yet, what's more is I haven't even smudged! Typically as a rule of thumb, I smudge my new living space any time I move somewhere new, but as all of my sacred tools are carefully packed away, that includes my sage as well.

Rather than overthink it however, I asked my guides, my ancestors, and of course Spirit to bless my new home. I also called to Brigid and welcomed her into my space, I invited her to make my new home her home and asked that she also bestow her blessing not just onto the space and to myself, but for my partner and for harmony between our two animals. Mostly for my cat as she is nearing 11 years old and has never had to share all of her space with another animal. While she has lived with other pets before, she's always had a room or space that was specifically hers. That being said, they're doing surprisingly well, for which both my partner and I are grateful for.

I am also exceedingly grateful to simply have my own space again. For the past two years I have been sharing a three bedroom apartment with up to five roommates. Not that I dislike anyone I've lived with, but the simple fact that my life style was so drastically different from everyone else's made things difficult to say that least. Not to say that I never frustrated my roommates, I can easily imagine it being a two-way street.
Regardless, I left on good terms with everyone and hope to stay in touch with the one's I have known the longest.

Another thing that I am looking forward to getting back to now that I have the free space to do so, is to get back to spell crafting. I may not have talked about it too much in the past, but when I was living on my own I felt much more inclined to ritual, to spell work, meditation and overall just being more active in my practice. I think in part due to the fact that I am not constantly attempting to shield myself and my space from outside energies as, well, it takes a lot of energy!

Plus with this full moon in Leo, I am feeling the itch and the desire to dive deeper into creative side, something that has felt rather lacking, almost dormant for the past several weeks if not months. I am still carrying with me part of the message that I received during the last full moon, which was to continue to rest. Some work needs to be done, which is to be expected, but now as the snow seems to be staying away (knock on wood!) and the temperature is steadily climbing, I am beginning to feel my inner energies stir and stretch up and outwards. I am also feeling a very strong desire to be organized and practical in very aspect of my life rather then being so, "well, we'll see when I get there."

I anticipate that once I get everything unpacked and really settled in, that I will pick up my studies again regarding chakras and diving deeper into my study of the tarot, which I have not forgotten about the monthly tarot card, I hope to have that up tomorrow.

For now I think this is a good stopping point as the other big event from the past week requires its own posting. If you're interested in honoring the full moon tomorrow night but are not sure how or don't have a lot of time, I would encourage you to join myself and many others with Sage Goddess for the February Full Moon Ritual. 

I absolutely love these rituals and always come away feeling refreshed and connected to Spirit. If you haven't done so yet, I was so inspired by last months ritual that I wrote about it; Full Moon, Late Night.

I have said so before and I will say again that I am in no way affiliated with Sage Goddess, and I receive nothing for promoting them, I truly do just love the community and the rituals. If you're curious and want to see what rituals have been done in the past, I'll include a link to their YouTube Channel where you can go through the archives of previous years rituals. Sage Goddess Playlists

Well, I suppose it's time I get ready for work as I certainly enjoyed my three day weekend after what has certainly been a transformative week to say the least. It really does feel so good to be home.

 Brightest Blessings to you all,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Full Moon, Late Night

Good evening loves,

Happy Full Moon in Cancer!

Oh man, it's been a little over two years since I felt so moved after a full moon ritual, that I wanted to write about it. In fact, I believe that it was my first full moon ritual with Sage Goddess that I felt my spirit awaken, and was filled with the desire to create. And for a while there, I was writing almost every day, there was so much that was on my mind, that I wanted to share, that so desperately needed to be released that for a time it was just pouring out all over the place.

You may very well be feeling similarly with the Moon in her home planet tonight. If you're feeling like a mess or feeling overwhelmed, rest assured that after tomorrow the Moon begins her journey to Leo, which should prove to be rather interesting next month given that (at least in the society where I reside) Valentine's Day is a HUGE focus point for February, regardless of whether it is viewed in a positive or negative light. (But who doesn't like moon light, right?)

If you are currently in the one state that does not currently have snow, I will admit, I am slightly envious. As I have mentioned previously, and as I say in my bio, I live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States; we don't really get snow here, and in fact, as of yesterday, we are in a State of Emergency. It's a big deal for us. 

This week I was given the unexpected gift of a three day weekend, which has been extended to four due to the weather, and in this time I have been able to be still, to be quiet, to go inward and connect with my spirit and my guides in a way which I have not experienced in longer then I wish were true. 

It's given me such a wonderful opportunity to come back here and to start anew with the new year, to remind myself how much I love doing this; writing and sharing and connecting with any and all of those who take the time to read what I have to say. 

With all this unexpected free time, I knew I wanted to dedicate as much time as possible doing the things that I feel like I 'don't have time for' such as ritual. It was really important to me to be present and participate in this month's ritual for a couple of reasons. The main reason being that I missed the feeling of ritual, I missed the guided meditations, I missed connecting with the Universe in such a profound way, as I am able to do during these rituals if I give myself the chance. 

Another reason it was so important to me to participate in the ritual tonight was because I felt a very subtle but sincere pull. Which really got my attention because earlier today I sat before my alter and prayed for the first time, maybe ever. In my prayers I petitioned my goddess and a god from a pantheon a world away to help me maintain this emotional stability I seem to have stumbled upon. I can't say exactly what triggered these feels of security, but I have just been overwhelmed with gratitude, and for what feels like the first time, I have been able to suppress the feelings of anxiety, nervousness, worry, fear. 

Ah, fear. My old nemesis. As I sat down to write about tonight's experience, I was reminded how I felt so compelled to write after my first full moon ritual, and I decided to glance over it to see what these two experiences might share. 

It was during that first ritual that I discovered how fear had wound its way into damn near if not every aspect of my life, and how determined I was to eliminate fear from my life, and how I believed that 2015 would be the best year of my life. Well, that just wasn't the case. 2015 turned out to be one of the most difficult years of my life, but looking back now I can see how much was purged; that it took being on the edge of emotional and mental crippling for me to pull myself back and to blossom into the person that I would always reach out for but could never quite touch. 

Just like my first ritual with Sage Goddess, if I had to describe my experience tonight using only one word, that word would be: intense. 

I've been sharing on my Facebook page and Instagram, and even in my previous posting how things have been almost eerily falling into place, and how there have been multiple signs and synchronicities over the last several days - since the snow came! -  and how it's almost been freaking me out. Almost. 

Rather than be skeptical or push these gifts away (out of fear, i.e. it's too good to be true), I have found myself smiling and laughing in delight, and expressing sincere gratitude almost without thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, there have been moments where I have felt the fear and the worry creeping up on me, and there have even been a few moments here and there where that negative energy has filled my whole body. But what is miraculous to me is that I have been able to dis-spell those feelings.

When I felt myself struggling to do so is when I went before my alter and called to the Universe to help support me. I voiced my concerns, I asked for guidance, for reassurance, for strength to keep on the track I have worked so hard to be on. 

December of 2014 I made a commitment to myself to expel fear from my life. Tonight during ritual we traveled to meet with Zues and Athena, and during that experience I was gifted with the quiet revelation that I have nothing left to fear. That the fear I experience is an illusion, a cheap trick of my ego to keep me in a place of suffering. 

I was given a gift from both Athena and Zues, and even now hours after closing the circle, I can still feel their presence, their love and the soft look of pride in their eyes. I don't know that I have ever felt pride from any deity that I have ever worked with. 

This ritual has provided me with so much clarity, so much hope, so much peace. Even our ritual leader, also named Athena, spoke of things that resonated with me so deeply. There was one thing in particular that she touched on that I felt really hit the nail on the head. 

She spoke of this energy that has been in the field that is prompting us (I say that as a general collective) to get moving and get working, like the energy of Spring has come early. Which may very well explain my burst of energy to work on this blog so diligently, in addition to a couple of other projects that I mentioned previously in the vaguest way possible (of course.)

She reminded us that we are still in the period of rest, and how important it is to continue to allow ourselves this time so that when Spring does come around, that we have our reserves still in place. Now, Spring doesn't officially come around until late March (for us here in the Northern Hemisphere anyway), but we don't necessarily have to wait that long. February 1st also know as Imbolc/Imbolg is when the Earth begins to thaw and we begin to see the first signs of new life, such as animals giving birth, flowers starting to bloom, hopefully warmer temperatures....

I am so grateful that Athena touched on this, because holy cow have I been feeling that go, go, go energy. For the most part I have been able to rein it in and keep it in check, if you don't count the five postings in the last three, maybe four days...

Retaining my energy may prove to be a bit of a challenge simply do to the fact that I will be moving in three weeks, which is really soon. I am not moving far and I don't have much to move, but moving tends to be stressful and in addition to having lots of books, I have heavy furniture. 

That being said, I will be in my new home right around Imbolc, which is one more beautiful synchronicity that the Universe is blessing me with, so, definitely no complaints here. Tomorrow is the last day of my 'snow-cation' and I have to say that I am looking forward to getting back to my regular routine. 

Since our lovely Moon is going to be spending another day in her home of Cancer, I would sincerely encourage you to take an hour, and check out January's Full Moon Ritual, even if you just watch. I think you'll come away feeling glad that you did. 

One final note; full moons are a fantastic time to release and with this being the first full moon of 2017, really consider what needs to be left in 2016. Allow yourself to come into 2017 with less on your plate, less on your shoulders, and less weighing on your heart. It's okay to let those things go. Some times that's what needs to happen in order for all of the new and wonderful things to appear in your life. 

I'm not saying that it's not difficult, or painful, or scary to do so. I am saying that you're strong enough, and that you deserve the peace that will come from moving on from what no longer serves you. You've made it this far, and just think of how much further you can go when you allow yourself the freedom to do so.

 Brightest Blessings to you all,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

2015 Is My Year

Hello lovies,

Being the day after the latest full moon ritual, since the last one was so powerful for me I thought that it was only appropriate to commemorate the one month mark of writing this blog (for the second time) HOORAY!!

In my last post I talked about wanting to share with you when I achieve goals, it occurred to me that I should also share when intentions that I have set begin to manifest, so that is what I will be doing tonight.

Last night not only was the full moon ritual, but I also took the plunge and joined a private group in an effort to broaden my horizons, to open my heart and soul to the Universe in perfect love and perfect trust, and to hopefully realize my personal power and potential.

In doing so I was introduced to a whole new group of women and I cannot express how much warmth I have felt since doing so. One of the women welcomed me home, and I genuinely felt it. Despite being a part of these communities for a few months now, I have only just begun to really connected with individuals, one of them I have begun speaking with privately and I am almost certain that we are soul sisters. (It's a bit early and I don't want to jinx anything, but I am pretty sure I am right.)

We talked for quiet some time and it is such a wonderful gift to have someone who you resonate with, who you connect with, who is on a similar journey as yourself, who is working on similar goals.

What a blessing from the Universe! It has barely been a week into this new, incredible year, and already I can feel these amazing changes taking place. I feel as though a giant pair of white wings has enveloped me and is holding me close as my own wings begin to grow.

In talking with this (new to me) soul sister, I am filled with joy and encouragement, and inspiration that I feel as though I could burst at the seems. Already she has given me so much support, ideas for this blog, ideas for everyday living! I cannot wait to see what kind of magic we can create together this year.

Going back to last night's ritual, there is still a way to view it if you're interested, I'll include it for you here. January Full Moon Ritual.

I watched the live feed with my amazing tools and have been working with them since. I resonated so deeply with the guided meditation that I will continue to use it whenever I feel the need. I even had to giggle at one point, because my intuition instructed me to seal the letter with my intentions for the new year with a wax seal before the instructor said anything about it! During the extra moments I held my letter in the palm of my hands, said a blessing and then slid them away from me into the darkness where I know the Universe has received them.

The idea of releasing your desires and your intentions to the Universe is something that I have not been previously successful at. Because of this experience I now feel as though I have this amazingly powerful tool to use!

I am sorry this post is so short tonight, but I do have to wonder to bed at some point as school is back in session, but I wanted to at least write a little bit tonight and share these wonderful blessings!

In the next couple of days I hope to share with you the ideas that I have for incorporating more positivity into my everyday life in an effort to help raise my vibration,

I cannot wait to share more with you and I am so excited for what this year has in store!

In light and love with many blessings to you and yours,

Thealynn

When One Door Closes

Oh my gosh, there is so much I want to say, and share, and express! I want to jump and laugh and scream and dance! I am filled with so much energy and light that I can barely type! (Trying to eat at the same time doesn't help either. Teehee.)

I'll be mentioning several things in this post, links will be included if you want to check anything out for yourself. I realize that this post might seem a little scattered, and I promise that I will clear up the mysteries, but for now I just feel that it is important to get this out!

I just finished up my first monthly ritual with the wonderful members of Sage Goddess. I won't get into all of the details in this posting because I would never go to sleep if I attempted that, and any readers probably wouldn't either if they attempted to read the whole thing-SO! In the interest of trying to keep things cohesive, I'll do my best to sticking with the highlights.

A couple of weeks before Samhain, I felt a strong calling from some of the 'darker goddesses' Morgan and Hecate to turn in and start working on sweeping out the cobwebs of my shadow self, and confront what I found there. At first the idea really freaked me out because, hello! I leave my shadow self alone for a reason! But as I felt my world starting to shift once again, I realized that the best thing I could do for myself was to do as directed.

I certainly did not jump in mind you, we've got three months in the darkest part of the year, which to me means that I have three months to work on not only figuring out how to approach my shadow self, but to also work on my shadow self. 

Samhain came and went, and before I knew it, it was only a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving. Rather than spending one day being thankful, I spent one week posting once a day about something in my life I was grateful for. The major thing that I wanted to express gratitude for, was all of the people who have been in my life, regardless of the impact they made-good or bad.

Doing so allowed me to sort of hone in on the other side of that coin, which helped me to connect with my shadow self. Now, I knew that the December ritual through Sage Goddess was coming up because I'd been a part of the Facebook page for several months. I had never done a ritual with Sage Goddess before, but this month seemed different. The theme for this month was on Inner Peace, and the ritual was to take place on the night of the full moon. The ideal time to RELEASE all of the things that no longer serve us.

Originally I did not intend to take part in the ritual, but as we got closer to the date, and the more work I was doing with my spirit, I began to realize how much I would benefit from participating. 

Part of what I had done the day before was purchase an ebook of Your Shinning Year work book from Leonie Dawson. I was inspired to take the plunge from a plucky Youtuber that I had been subscribed to for a couple of years. She had mentioned it before in years past, and has been able to drastically turn her life towards the positive by using the work book.

With all of the work I was going for myself and with myself I slowly began to feel that 2015 was going to be my greatest year yet. But in order to make that happen, I had to be serious about the changes I was going to make, and the number one way I was going to do that, was to face the biggest obstacle that I had been avoiding.

Which was fear.

It took me a little while to fully understand which was frustrating, but accepting the truth about how long I had been living with fear was heartbreaking. I was determined to use that to motivate my desire for change. 

I made vows to myself that 2014 would be the last year of fear. While I was careful to not discredit or to lessen the value of the progress that I have made in these last couple of years, I also felt called to truly face my fear. 

WHAT A HUGE STEP FOR ME.

I felt myself moving forward and slowly releasing things that I didn't even know that I was still holding on to, and in that process I also began to release things that I'd had a death grip on. It wasn't long before I decided that by the end of 2014 I wanted to forgive each and every person who had caused me hurt, and that I was going to forgive myself for all of the hurt that I have caused. 

ANOTHER HUGE STEP!

With all of these goals moving forward, and being completed, I finally felt the walls and resistance breaking to deal with the number one thing that caused fear in my life. Not only did I face it, I asked for help in conquering it.

SHE DID WHAT????

I don't want to spend too much time on this, but I will say that I am a Capricorn, and while I am possibly one of the most laid back Capricorns I have ever met-I still have pride. Which is what is at the core of my shadow self. 

Doing each and every one of these things at my own pace, and doing it solely for myself has been such an amazing, and terrifying experience, I almost feel woozy because of the energy I feel, and how much weight that has been lifted!

I kind of wonder if Air signs feel like they're always floating...I honestly feel like I'm a couple of days away from Marry Poppins-ing it. 

Fast forward to the Full Moon Ritual. I gathered what I felt I needed for the ritual. Candles, stones, sage, incense, I put on my pentacle and signet ring, and I was ready to go! There were several parts of the hour we spent together, one of which was a guided meditation. After the ritual I shared part of my experience on the Facebook page, and thought it would be easiest to just bring part of that here:

"I pulled several stones that I felt called to, and during the meditation, was called by my guides to release all but two, so I did. When I came around I looked to see what had stayed, it was a clear quartz point and my green moonstone-I started crying!

I have been working on my spirit so much these last several weeks, and to have such amazing confirmations and to feel all of the healing and love that I am surrounded by is so amazing.

For the last twelve years I have wobbled back and forth on whether I believed this in my heart, and after tonight I will never question it again. This is my soul's truth, my path and my future lies in educating people about the real truth in what and who we are (for me it's being a pagan), spreading tolerance, and helping those are need of guidance and healing."

With such a powerful experience I am filled to the brim with moonlight. I am not even outside, and I can feel the rays washing through me like the waves of the ocean when the tide is in, carrying away all of the negativity, regrets, resentment, anger, and fear. 

It's as if my heart and spirit are purging all of the old hurt and washing away the rot of old wounds. It's a process that will in and of itself take some time, but by the time the new moon comes around, I will be ready to receive blessings and be prepared to welcome the new beginnings awaiting me. 

I am overjoyed, and excited for this to be a part of my fresh start. Writing is a soul purpose for me, and I am almost ready to cry again because of how happy I am finding this passion again. 

Now, I have previous posts here that I am purposefully leaving up because they do have value as part of my previous journeys on this path, and I don't want to get rid of them just yet. I am going to need to decided if I want to keep this blog the way it is, or start a brand new one.

My intention when I started a spiritual blog was to help record my experiences with the full intention of sharing them with others, but I don't think I was fully ready yet, I was searching for definitions in my path and not so much focused on just walking it.

I titled it the way I did feeling secretive about my journey and wanting to keep it hush hush. Well, if my soul's purpose is anything like what I mentioned above, that won't do. Whether I make a whole new blog, or recycle this one, I will be naming it Sacred Steps on a Sacred Journey.

I would write more here, but I have a solo ritual that I would like to get done. Being a full time student means that I have finals coming up also, which means I need to STUDY!

As I said before, links will be below, and I will try to post again in the next couple of days. If things keep manifesting I might not have a choice!

In love and light,

Thealynn

Green Moon Stone

Create Your Shining Year

Sage Goddess Full Moon Ritualists

The Lovely Little Witch

©2013-2015 Thealynn