Hello lovies,
I had a dream not to long before I made this huge decision to offer readings in a public, professional form, which you can now find here. It was something that at the time was relative enough to the path I've been on, and the progress I've made on that path, but it didn't sink in until the Solstice how much deeper this dream went.
I knew that I wanted to share this dream right away, but I also wanted to take my time getting back into the groove of this blog, and with writing rather than blurting out and publishing every thought that I have.
This post alone as been added to several times, mostly because of timing. I will say that it is quite rare for me to hold on to a post for as long as I have, but I am happy that I did so.
Without further ado...
Earlier in the REM cycle
I experienced a dream and the only thing I can remember about it was
that in my dream state, I concluded that the meaning of this dream was
that I had been trying to approach things the same way or do things the same way and that things were simply not working so I simply needed to changed them...Okay.
This second dream, I had given birth to a baby girl, and my mother was
with me. In her motherly duties she was preparing for the baby to
baptized and made an official member of the church. (Just to be clear my
family is not Catholic, those who fall under the Christian umbrella are
mostly Baptist. But all the same.)
At point point it was even
discussed that I would go through the baptism-which in my dream I was
uncomfortable with being that I've never been baptized in the physical
plane and dream me knew this, dream me was not keen on the idea.
I
could feel myself panicking because even though I have nothing against
baptism, it simply wasn't something I wanted. I began to feel as though I
wold have no say in my daughter's life, I mean, the kid was just born
why not wait until she knows what it means and then let her decide?
When my mother returned to take my daughter to be baptized, I told her
no. I looked straight at my mother and told her that I didn't want to
raise my daughter that way, that I wouldn't allow it.
I spent
some time considering what this dream might mean, and it wasn't until a
meditation in which I was instructed to find my sanctuary that I made
the connection.
I sincerely believe in following your soul's
truth, your own path and while I have never explicitly come out to my
mother as a pagan, she's a smart woman, I'm sure she knows on some
level.
When I was asked to find this sanctuary, I found myself in
the ocean. My breathing sounded to me as though I were underwater, I
felt the waves around me, the sun beating down through the blueish green
glass.
By finding this sanctuary, by going to these meet ups and
being introduced to certain people I am finally seeing my path being
illuminated. When I come out the other side of this journey, I will have
been reborn, I will not be able to conceal my work from my family, and I
don't want to.
I will always be my mother's child, she will
always want to protect me and do what she thinks is right for me. But I
need to find the strength that I've always lacked when it's come to her
and use my voice to tell her the truth.
I am beginning to see
the woman that I am slowly transforming into, and while I'm slightly
nervous about this process, I move towards it with heart.
I may even change my name, but that's for future me to decide.
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