Hello lovies,
I had a dream not to long before I made this huge decision to offer readings in a public, professional form, which you can now find here. It was something that at the time was relative enough to the path I've been on, and the progress I've made on that path, but it didn't sink in until the Solstice how much deeper this dream went.
I knew that I wanted to share this dream right away, but I also wanted to take my time getting back into the groove of this blog, and with writing rather than blurting out and publishing every thought that I have.
This post alone as been added to several times, mostly because of timing. I will say that it is quite rare for me to hold on to a post for as long as I have, but I am happy that I did so.
Without further ado...
Earlier in the REM cycle
I experienced a dream and the only thing I can remember about it was
that in my dream state, I concluded that the meaning of this dream was
that I had been trying to approach things the same way or do things the same way and that things were simply not working so I simply needed to changed them...Okay.
This second dream, I had given birth to a baby girl, and my mother was
with me. In her motherly duties she was preparing for the baby to
baptized and made an official member of the church. (Just to be clear my
family is not Catholic, those who fall under the Christian umbrella are
mostly Baptist. But all the same.)
At point point it was even
discussed that I would go through the baptism-which in my dream I was
uncomfortable with being that I've never been baptized in the physical
plane and dream me knew this, dream me was not keen on the idea.
I
could feel myself panicking because even though I have nothing against
baptism, it simply wasn't something I wanted. I began to feel as though I
wold have no say in my daughter's life, I mean, the kid was just born
why not wait until she knows what it means and then let her decide?
When my mother returned to take my daughter to be baptized, I told her
no. I looked straight at my mother and told her that I didn't want to
raise my daughter that way, that I wouldn't allow it.
I spent
some time considering what this dream might mean, and it wasn't until a
meditation in which I was instructed to find my sanctuary that I made
the connection.
I sincerely believe in following your soul's
truth, your own path and while I have never explicitly come out to my
mother as a pagan, she's a smart woman, I'm sure she knows on some
level.
When I was asked to find this sanctuary, I found myself in
the ocean. My breathing sounded to me as though I were underwater, I
felt the waves around me, the sun beating down through the blueish green
glass.
By finding this sanctuary, by going to these meet ups and
being introduced to certain people I am finally seeing my path being
illuminated. When I come out the other side of this journey, I will have
been reborn, I will not be able to conceal my work from my family, and I
don't want to.
I will always be my mother's child, she will
always want to protect me and do what she thinks is right for me. But I
need to find the strength that I've always lacked when it's come to her
and use my voice to tell her the truth.
I am beginning to see
the woman that I am slowly transforming into, and while I'm slightly
nervous about this process, I move towards it with heart.
I may even change my name, but that's for future me to decide.
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
A Truly Open Heart
Hey there lovies,
I've been incredibly fortunate to be a part of some truly amazing experiences these last few weeks. Quite frankly I never expected to have the privilege of being a participant in helping and connecting with and I would be so bold as to say, inspiring as many individuals as I have these last couple of months.
The opportunities that have been given to me since I have made this move have been numerous, but one that I never thought I would have is the opportunity to have full closure and to say goodbye to the first real love of my life.
This person has been everything to me; friend, confidant, lover, counselor, supporter and every nook and cranny that falls in between. They've also been responsible for causing a great deal of pain, disappointment, anger, frustration and confusion.
But to be honest, I can't imagine a first love being any different. I can't fathom that anyone else would hold such sway, who could so gently hold another's heart and be so careless with it in one stroke.
I've written before about my thoughts on love, and it's not terribly surprising that only a few short months later, finding myself with a different perspective on it. When I look back at myself the last time I wrote about love, I was trying to reconcile with the idea, I was trying to make myself believe that...love just is.
I don't think you choose when you love someone, I think to some extent it just happens on its own. Love is the greatest force I have ever encountered; it contains every positive and negative elements that is conceivable.
Because while it possesses all of the infinite wonder and possibility that we all look for and desire, but doing so, it leaves us open to all of the damage that can be caused because of it. It leaves us vulnerable to all of the disasters, but it also requires us to be open to the miracles that can take place.
This path that I am on, not only for myself but for the purpose I believe with all my heart that I am here to accomplish, has asked me to question everything about the way I used to do things, the perspectives I've held, the people I surround myself with.
I have been asked to be open, to be flexible, to be patient and understanding, to be brave and courageous, to trust. There have been times when my ego has held up its hands and said, "Whoa! Slow you're roll there, I'm only human. Mere mortal right here, let's not get carried away here."
All of those things are essential to any kind of growth, all of those things are necessary for success.
When I started this journey, which there have been several 'starting over points' I never expected to be asked to change myself as much as I find myself changing. It's a bit overwhelming some times.
I don't think you choose when you love someone, but I think you can choose when to stop loving someone. I fell in love with this person despite every effort not to, because I knew in my soul, in my heart of hearts that this was not it for me. Not this time.
I have loved this individual with my whole heart, soul, being and there is a part of me that sincerely wishes that things could be different. As difficult as it is though, I have to remind myself that I don't truly believe that I'm it for them either.
The two of us have spent so much time together, have shared so much and have grown so much together, as a couple, as friends. There's been a part of my heart that has held steadfast to them because I remember all too well what that was like, and how it made me feel.
But I'm slowly coming to the realization that, the best thing we can do for each other and for ourselves is to let that love go. It was beautiful, and special, and brought me a life that I never thought I was capable of having. I've been slow to accept that there is someone else who will love and cherish me, and fulfill me in every way, and I for them-in this direction that I am heading, this path and purpose for this life.
And I believe wholeheartedly that there is someone out there for them too, who can connect and care for them in ways that I simply cannot.
I will always treasure them, and I sincerely hope that they will always be a good friend of mine. But now is the time to say goodbye, and to release that love and set the intention for them that when the time is right, they find their soulmate.
I can feel my own approaching, which strangely, doesn't make this easier. But knowing that there is genuine happiness outside of this person does. Knowing that there is genuine happiness out there for them makes it easier to let go, to say goodbye to them so that I can say hello to myself and my future.
Love is quite the mystery...
I've been incredibly fortunate to be a part of some truly amazing experiences these last few weeks. Quite frankly I never expected to have the privilege of being a participant in helping and connecting with and I would be so bold as to say, inspiring as many individuals as I have these last couple of months.
The opportunities that have been given to me since I have made this move have been numerous, but one that I never thought I would have is the opportunity to have full closure and to say goodbye to the first real love of my life.
This person has been everything to me; friend, confidant, lover, counselor, supporter and every nook and cranny that falls in between. They've also been responsible for causing a great deal of pain, disappointment, anger, frustration and confusion.
But to be honest, I can't imagine a first love being any different. I can't fathom that anyone else would hold such sway, who could so gently hold another's heart and be so careless with it in one stroke.
I've written before about my thoughts on love, and it's not terribly surprising that only a few short months later, finding myself with a different perspective on it. When I look back at myself the last time I wrote about love, I was trying to reconcile with the idea, I was trying to make myself believe that...love just is.
I don't think you choose when you love someone, I think to some extent it just happens on its own. Love is the greatest force I have ever encountered; it contains every positive and negative elements that is conceivable.
Because while it possesses all of the infinite wonder and possibility that we all look for and desire, but doing so, it leaves us open to all of the damage that can be caused because of it. It leaves us vulnerable to all of the disasters, but it also requires us to be open to the miracles that can take place.
This path that I am on, not only for myself but for the purpose I believe with all my heart that I am here to accomplish, has asked me to question everything about the way I used to do things, the perspectives I've held, the people I surround myself with.
I have been asked to be open, to be flexible, to be patient and understanding, to be brave and courageous, to trust. There have been times when my ego has held up its hands and said, "Whoa! Slow you're roll there, I'm only human. Mere mortal right here, let's not get carried away here."
All of those things are essential to any kind of growth, all of those things are necessary for success.
When I started this journey, which there have been several 'starting over points' I never expected to be asked to change myself as much as I find myself changing. It's a bit overwhelming some times.
I don't think you choose when you love someone, but I think you can choose when to stop loving someone. I fell in love with this person despite every effort not to, because I knew in my soul, in my heart of hearts that this was not it for me. Not this time.
I have loved this individual with my whole heart, soul, being and there is a part of me that sincerely wishes that things could be different. As difficult as it is though, I have to remind myself that I don't truly believe that I'm it for them either.
The two of us have spent so much time together, have shared so much and have grown so much together, as a couple, as friends. There's been a part of my heart that has held steadfast to them because I remember all too well what that was like, and how it made me feel.
But I'm slowly coming to the realization that, the best thing we can do for each other and for ourselves is to let that love go. It was beautiful, and special, and brought me a life that I never thought I was capable of having. I've been slow to accept that there is someone else who will love and cherish me, and fulfill me in every way, and I for them-in this direction that I am heading, this path and purpose for this life.
And I believe wholeheartedly that there is someone out there for them too, who can connect and care for them in ways that I simply cannot.
I will always treasure them, and I sincerely hope that they will always be a good friend of mine. But now is the time to say goodbye, and to release that love and set the intention for them that when the time is right, they find their soulmate.
I can feel my own approaching, which strangely, doesn't make this easier. But knowing that there is genuine happiness outside of this person does. Knowing that there is genuine happiness out there for them makes it easier to let go, to say goodbye to them so that I can say hello to myself and my future.
Love is quite the mystery...
Monday, February 9, 2015
Not An Ending But A Beginning
Hello lovies,
Welcome to Part Ten and the Final Installment of my Open Heart Series.
I'm sure that I have mentioned at least once before how I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting when I started this journey, where it would take me. I certainly did not expect it to grow into what is has become though I couldn't be happier with it.
Admittedly it's hard for me to know what to say here because well, I know that for me, the journey isn't over. It is something that I will continue possibly for the rest of my life, because once a heart is healed, what good is it if left unattended or locked away to prevent future damage? A closed heart is not a heart that can extend or receive love, and hasn't that been the whole point?
For the last several days I have been working on another writing project, that in time I am sure will make some sort of appearance here, but until that time I am keeping it a private matter.
Apart from that project the last time that I really wrote a piece for this blog was two weeks ago. I experienced a mini writing marathon where I wanted everything to be prepared to just publish on the correlating day and it has worked well, until now.
I became completely focused on the middle of this series, of this process that I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about the conclusion. When I originally started work on this series I anticipated using the experience of the latest full moon ritual to prepare me for this and in some ways it has.
The series itself did more for me in terms of healing, understanding, and opening up in more ways then I ever could have imagined.
Over the course of these past few weeks I have let go of so much hurt and resentment, I have learned how to open myself up in new ways, and I even connected with deity in a very profound way.
This journey may not be over, but I have the next step within my sight, which is truly a blessing in and of itself.
In light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Welcome to Part Ten and the Final Installment of my Open Heart Series.
I'm sure that I have mentioned at least once before how I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting when I started this journey, where it would take me. I certainly did not expect it to grow into what is has become though I couldn't be happier with it.
Admittedly it's hard for me to know what to say here because well, I know that for me, the journey isn't over. It is something that I will continue possibly for the rest of my life, because once a heart is healed, what good is it if left unattended or locked away to prevent future damage? A closed heart is not a heart that can extend or receive love, and hasn't that been the whole point?
For the last several days I have been working on another writing project, that in time I am sure will make some sort of appearance here, but until that time I am keeping it a private matter.
Apart from that project the last time that I really wrote a piece for this blog was two weeks ago. I experienced a mini writing marathon where I wanted everything to be prepared to just publish on the correlating day and it has worked well, until now.
I became completely focused on the middle of this series, of this process that I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about the conclusion. When I originally started work on this series I anticipated using the experience of the latest full moon ritual to prepare me for this and in some ways it has.
The series itself did more for me in terms of healing, understanding, and opening up in more ways then I ever could have imagined.
Over the course of these past few weeks I have let go of so much hurt and resentment, I have learned how to open myself up in new ways, and I even connected with deity in a very profound way.
This journey may not be over, but I have the next step within my sight, which is truly a blessing in and of itself.
In light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Monday, February 2, 2015
Connecting With Your Guides
Hello lovies,
Welcome to Part Eight of my Open Heart Series!
If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!
Following pieces of this series will include ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.
Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditiations
Whisperings of a Ghost
So without further ado!
This is a post that has been requested from me for quite some time, and I am hopeful that this will answer some questions and provide some guidance.
Guides come in all different forms; angels, animals, spirits, gods and goddesses, fairies, ancestors, the list goes on and on.
If you have read previous posts of mine you can probably guess the kinds of guides that I have worked with the most thus far . Animal guides are the first guides that I learned about, and worked with before I even knew that's what I was doing. In a way it's always come naturally to me, but I know that's not the case for everyone, so here we are!
I have found that meditation is the best place to connect with your guides. I like to think of it as meeting them half way. There are certainly times that guides are able to reach us here in what I some times refer to as the 'waking realm' or the physical plane. But some times we don't recognize their signs or understand their messages.
Before I jump into the meditation there are a couple of things that I want to go over that I have found to be true when it comes to guides. I will acknowledge up front that not everyone will agree with me and that is fine. For the work that I do and have done with my own guides and helping other people get in touch with theirs, these are things that I share with them and that I have learned over the years.
Everything that I mention here intertwines with each other, but I felt that it was important to break them into individual points not only to make it clear but to show the different ways that all of these things work together.
One, and what I would consider the most important: You must be OPEN to receiving your guides. Guides are not always there to be fluffy and have a good time with you, most of the time they are there to help you learn invaluable lessons or to help you make important decisions. Some times they will have messages that you might not want to hear, but they are there to HELP you, especially in difficult times.
Two that is really an extension of one: If you are not ready or are holding back from them, they may very well do the same thing. It's okay to be afraid or uncertain because that's just a part of life. But it's important to be willing to receive help from your guides in the ways that they can provide. If you are experiencing those things, express that to them. Let them know how you are feeling, and that because of or in spite of that you are reaching out to them for guidance.
Three, what I consider to be next in importance: I know that it can be difficult, but it's vital to not set expectations on your guides. Trusting them to be there and to help you/protect you/watch over you is very different then expecting them to do those things. Your guides are there for you because they care about your well being and because they want to be.
Four: Don't turn away your guide(s) because they do not come to you in a way or form that you expected or wanted. Again, guides appear to you in a certain way because of the messages that they have for you. I do not mean this in any sort of threatening way and I do not mean to scare anyone, but I will say that some times ignoring your guides can have consequences. The last thing I would want is for something to happen and I am left kicking myself wishing that I had put my ego aside and just listened.
Five: Don't feel like you have to change the way you communicate when you're connecting with your guides. It might feel a little odd at first, especially if you are connecting to deity and it feels like you should be more 'proper'; this goes back to having expectations. Follow you gut, more than likely your guides will meet you somewhere in the middle and they will adjust to communicate with you. If you feel more comfortable talking a certain way when it comes to your guides, go for it!
Six: You can have more then one guide at a time. Some guides come and go, some guides always pop up in certain situations, some are with you your whole life. Some times guides will even work together.
Seven: While I am not suggesting that guides have limitless abilities and power it's important to not put limits on them. If you think that your guides can't help you, then guess what? They can't and they probably won't.
Eight: You guides are not there to do all of the hard work for you, they are there to help you with the hard work. They may even give you something hard to work on, and if they do, it's because it's going to help you in the long run. Guides are also not going to be there to help you with every little thing. This is your life to live, it's up to YOU.
Nine: If you are working with your guides and their message is unclear, it's okay to ask for clarification. There is no doubt be times when they give you a message or a piece of information and say 'have fun!" and leave you to make of it what you will. But more often then not they will be happy to oblige, they are there to be helpful after all.
Ten: Be appreciative of your guides. If you received guidance or assistance don't forget to thank them, and you don't have to make it elaborate. A thank you at the end of your meetings is a great way to show appreciation, or if you can, light a candle for them. They'll see it and appreciate the gratitude.
Welcome to Part Eight of my Open Heart Series!
If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!
Following pieces of this series will include ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.
Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditiations
Whisperings of a Ghost
So without further ado!
This is a post that has been requested from me for quite some time, and I am hopeful that this will answer some questions and provide some guidance.
Guides come in all different forms; angels, animals, spirits, gods and goddesses, fairies, ancestors, the list goes on and on.
If you have read previous posts of mine you can probably guess the kinds of guides that I have worked with the most thus far . Animal guides are the first guides that I learned about, and worked with before I even knew that's what I was doing. In a way it's always come naturally to me, but I know that's not the case for everyone, so here we are!
I have found that meditation is the best place to connect with your guides. I like to think of it as meeting them half way. There are certainly times that guides are able to reach us here in what I some times refer to as the 'waking realm' or the physical plane. But some times we don't recognize their signs or understand their messages.
Before I jump into the meditation there are a couple of things that I want to go over that I have found to be true when it comes to guides. I will acknowledge up front that not everyone will agree with me and that is fine. For the work that I do and have done with my own guides and helping other people get in touch with theirs, these are things that I share with them and that I have learned over the years.
Everything that I mention here intertwines with each other, but I felt that it was important to break them into individual points not only to make it clear but to show the different ways that all of these things work together.
One, and what I would consider the most important: You must be OPEN to receiving your guides. Guides are not always there to be fluffy and have a good time with you, most of the time they are there to help you learn invaluable lessons or to help you make important decisions. Some times they will have messages that you might not want to hear, but they are there to HELP you, especially in difficult times.
Two that is really an extension of one: If you are not ready or are holding back from them, they may very well do the same thing. It's okay to be afraid or uncertain because that's just a part of life. But it's important to be willing to receive help from your guides in the ways that they can provide. If you are experiencing those things, express that to them. Let them know how you are feeling, and that because of or in spite of that you are reaching out to them for guidance.
Three, what I consider to be next in importance: I know that it can be difficult, but it's vital to not set expectations on your guides. Trusting them to be there and to help you/protect you/watch over you is very different then expecting them to do those things. Your guides are there for you because they care about your well being and because they want to be.
Four: Don't turn away your guide(s) because they do not come to you in a way or form that you expected or wanted. Again, guides appear to you in a certain way because of the messages that they have for you. I do not mean this in any sort of threatening way and I do not mean to scare anyone, but I will say that some times ignoring your guides can have consequences. The last thing I would want is for something to happen and I am left kicking myself wishing that I had put my ego aside and just listened.
Five: Don't feel like you have to change the way you communicate when you're connecting with your guides. It might feel a little odd at first, especially if you are connecting to deity and it feels like you should be more 'proper'; this goes back to having expectations. Follow you gut, more than likely your guides will meet you somewhere in the middle and they will adjust to communicate with you. If you feel more comfortable talking a certain way when it comes to your guides, go for it!
Six: You can have more then one guide at a time. Some guides come and go, some guides always pop up in certain situations, some are with you your whole life. Some times guides will even work together.
Seven: While I am not suggesting that guides have limitless abilities and power it's important to not put limits on them. If you think that your guides can't help you, then guess what? They can't and they probably won't.
Eight: You guides are not there to do all of the hard work for you, they are there to help you with the hard work. They may even give you something hard to work on, and if they do, it's because it's going to help you in the long run. Guides are also not going to be there to help you with every little thing. This is your life to live, it's up to YOU.
Nine: If you are working with your guides and their message is unclear, it's okay to ask for clarification. There is no doubt be times when they give you a message or a piece of information and say 'have fun!" and leave you to make of it what you will. But more often then not they will be happy to oblige, they are there to be helpful after all.
Ten: Be appreciative of your guides. If you received guidance or assistance don't forget to thank them, and you don't have to make it elaborate. A thank you at the end of your meetings is a great way to show appreciation, or if you can, light a candle for them. They'll see it and appreciate the gratitude.
Now the fun part! While there are lots of different ways of connecting with your guides, as I mention before, I find that meditation is the easiest way to do so. That's not to say that this is the only way, some times they will come to you in a dream or like with animal guides you may see them in your everyday life.
If you go the meditation route I recommend a couple of things, and this goes the same for whatever kind of meditations you do.
Try to find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. Feel free to play music or white noise, light some incense if that will help you get into the frame of mind. Of course you'll want to make sure your are in a comfortable position.
If you have a set time that you want to meditate for I recommend setting two timers, one to serve as your warning to finish up and the second to actually call you back. There are meditation CDs and apps that do this for you, it's really a matter of preference.
When you are ready to do your meditation make sure you have your intention set. If you think or know that you have a guide waiting for you, let yourself drift to that place where you feel drawn to. It can be anywhere, somewhere in nature, it could be in a specific structure, in a different country, allow yourself to go wherever it is that you feel yourself being pulled to.
Some times that means that you don't really go anywhere at all, and you find yourself resting within your subconscious, if that's so what does it look like to you?
Wherever it is that you find yourself, try to get as clear of a picture as possible, do you hear any sounds, do you feel anything around you, how do you appear, what time of day is it? It might sound overwhelming trying to nail down all of these details but it can actually help you stay focused while you're meditating.
When you feel comfortable where you are, express how you are there to meet with any guides who may be waiting for you, or that have a message for you. It really can be as simple as that. Allow your guides to take it from there, they may end up taking you on a journey!
If you're still having trouble connecting with you guides, I would recommend a guided meditation. Some times having a more structured meditation can be more beneficial.
As always lovies, I hope that this has been helpful and has answered some questions about connecting with your guides. As always if you have any specific questions feel free to leave them in the comments or you can message me privately.
Sending you light and love,
Thealynn
If you're still having trouble connecting with you guides, I would recommend a guided meditation. Some times having a more structured meditation can be more beneficial.
As always lovies, I hope that this has been helpful and has answered some questions about connecting with your guides. As always if you have any specific questions feel free to leave them in the comments or you can message me privately.
Sending you light and love,
Thealynn
Friday, January 30, 2015
Whisperings of a Ghost
Good morning lovies,
Welcome to Part Seven of my Open Heart Series!
If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!
Following pieces of this series will include ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.
Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditations
So without further ado!
This is very much an unexpected addition to my Open Heart series, but I believe it may be one of the most significant.
For those who are unaware, we are currently experiencing what we call Mercury Retrograde. This is a period of a few weeks in which Mercury appears to travel backwards on its axis. This is mostly observed by the pagan community as something to be weary of because it causes disruptions in communication, technology, seems to slow down the progress of projects and overall it can just feel like an unpleasant time.
However there are some positives that can come along with Mercury Retrograde that I discussed on my Facebook Page, so if you're curious follow the link. One thing that I will mention is that Mercury Retrograde can some times bring in people from your past wanting to reconnect.
Without spending too much time on details, suffice it to say that there is one side of the family that I have not had consistent contact with for the last 20 years. Some interaction here and there, but nothing terribly serious.
I’m guessing that between opening myself and my heart to the Universe for my highest good and Mercury being in retrograde is what helped the stars to align causing me to get a fairly abrupt message from one of my biological father’s sisters, being my aunt. She has said before how much she has wanted to get together over the last several months, but nothing has ever come of it.
After some seemingly convoluted conversations which really did turn out to be misunderstands, we had lunch last week. What started out as my aunt, uncle and myself turned into two of my other aunts from that same side joining us.
It was the first time in almost three years since I had seen any of them, and even longer since we had spent real time together. Over the course of lunch they asked me if I was interested in seeing my biological father whom I have not seen or spoken to in 20 years. Minus one painful denial of my existence at the mall when I was 15.
I thought for a moment and realized that I really have nothing to lose by doing so. That I have an amazing opportunity to help clear up some understandably made assumptions, to help provide healing and understanding, and forgiveness in the hopes that others will be able to start forgiving themselves.
I realize all too well how much I do not owe anyone anything, and I almost surprised myself at how much the thought didn’t enter my mind until way after I had made my decision.
I’ve been called to change my perspective, and to not miss the forest for the trees.
Even though my father was not around when I was growing up, even though he did some down right criminal acts, he really did the best thing for me by allowing me to be adopted by another man whom I love as my father and staying out of my life. I was able to become the person I am because he let me go. In that one simple yet heart breaking act, he put his children, including me first. And I love him for that.
As I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to share this right away or to wait, I heard a frog croaking outside. I'd been house sitting for almost a week, and this was the first time I have heard a frog, and not just during this visit, but EVER as I am a frequent visitor.
I heard it only a handful of times, but I felt instantly called to pull out the copy of Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up frog medicine. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I won't go into that much here as I really could write an entire blog post on frog medicine and the connection that I have to it.
This is was the confirmation from the Universe that I am going to play a crucial role in helping to heal my father’s heart. I know full well and accept that the real healing will have to come from him, and that it will have to be his choice. But I will be the doorway for him, I will be the one to help him understand and put pieces together. I will be able to answer questions that he has never had the answers to.
I realize that it might sound like a burden, or some form of family obligation. But I see it as an immense privilege, as an incredible opportunity. I don’t feel as though I am walking into a situation that I am unprepared for, or am somehow fulfilling a family duty.
I am approaching this as a daughter to her father, expressing gratitude and forgiveness that is long overdue. Even though I believed this to be a closed door, and I felt like I had as much closure as I was going to get, I feel that this is the chance I never thought I would have,
As I said before, I do have a loving father in my life, and I know that I would not be the person that I am without him. But I see something so beautiful in at least attempting to heal this relationship. Not that I believe in putting all of the blame for my 'heart troubles' but I do see the loss of my father as the first heart break of my life.
I was a small child when everything happened but I still carry memories and scars from the events leading up to, during and after the divorce. These are scars that are so old and buried so deep that most times I forget that they are there. And I would argue that they do not affect my daily life.
But in those short hours that I spent with my aunts I learned more about my father then I ever knew before. There are a few things that we share, and it's already answered some questions I didn't know that I had.
I had a friend ask me why I was doing this, and I did not want to go into the spiritual reasons behind my decision, so I thought about it for quite some time. And it only occurred to me as I was writing this how much I owe this to myself. I've denied myself this chance in the past, but I knew then and I reaffirm now that I wasn't ready before, but I know that I am now.
I can't say that I expect us to be a happy family again, I can't say that I expect anything really. I think if I were to do so it would ruin the integrity of the event. I might not be that little girl in sundresses any more, but I am still his child, and that is how I am going into our phone call this afternoon.
Even if this ends up not going anywhere, if one of both of us decide that it's not working, at least we can say that we tried, which is more then I've ever had before.
As I wait hour the hours I am not focusing so much on what we will talk about, I only set the intention that it will be what we both need.
Sending you light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Welcome to Part Seven of my Open Heart Series!
If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!
Following pieces of this series will include ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.
Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditations
So without further ado!
This is very much an unexpected addition to my Open Heart series, but I believe it may be one of the most significant.
For those who are unaware, we are currently experiencing what we call Mercury Retrograde. This is a period of a few weeks in which Mercury appears to travel backwards on its axis. This is mostly observed by the pagan community as something to be weary of because it causes disruptions in communication, technology, seems to slow down the progress of projects and overall it can just feel like an unpleasant time.
However there are some positives that can come along with Mercury Retrograde that I discussed on my Facebook Page, so if you're curious follow the link. One thing that I will mention is that Mercury Retrograde can some times bring in people from your past wanting to reconnect.
Without spending too much time on details, suffice it to say that there is one side of the family that I have not had consistent contact with for the last 20 years. Some interaction here and there, but nothing terribly serious.
I’m guessing that between opening myself and my heart to the Universe for my highest good and Mercury being in retrograde is what helped the stars to align causing me to get a fairly abrupt message from one of my biological father’s sisters, being my aunt. She has said before how much she has wanted to get together over the last several months, but nothing has ever come of it.
After some seemingly convoluted conversations which really did turn out to be misunderstands, we had lunch last week. What started out as my aunt, uncle and myself turned into two of my other aunts from that same side joining us.
It was the first time in almost three years since I had seen any of them, and even longer since we had spent real time together. Over the course of lunch they asked me if I was interested in seeing my biological father whom I have not seen or spoken to in 20 years. Minus one painful denial of my existence at the mall when I was 15.
I thought for a moment and realized that I really have nothing to lose by doing so. That I have an amazing opportunity to help clear up some understandably made assumptions, to help provide healing and understanding, and forgiveness in the hopes that others will be able to start forgiving themselves.
I realize all too well how much I do not owe anyone anything, and I almost surprised myself at how much the thought didn’t enter my mind until way after I had made my decision.
I’ve been called to change my perspective, and to not miss the forest for the trees.
Even though my father was not around when I was growing up, even though he did some down right criminal acts, he really did the best thing for me by allowing me to be adopted by another man whom I love as my father and staying out of my life. I was able to become the person I am because he let me go. In that one simple yet heart breaking act, he put his children, including me first. And I love him for that.
As I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to share this right away or to wait, I heard a frog croaking outside. I'd been house sitting for almost a week, and this was the first time I have heard a frog, and not just during this visit, but EVER as I am a frequent visitor.
I heard it only a handful of times, but I felt instantly called to pull out the copy of Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up frog medicine. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I won't go into that much here as I really could write an entire blog post on frog medicine and the connection that I have to it.
This is was the confirmation from the Universe that I am going to play a crucial role in helping to heal my father’s heart. I know full well and accept that the real healing will have to come from him, and that it will have to be his choice. But I will be the doorway for him, I will be the one to help him understand and put pieces together. I will be able to answer questions that he has never had the answers to.
I realize that it might sound like a burden, or some form of family obligation. But I see it as an immense privilege, as an incredible opportunity. I don’t feel as though I am walking into a situation that I am unprepared for, or am somehow fulfilling a family duty.
I am approaching this as a daughter to her father, expressing gratitude and forgiveness that is long overdue. Even though I believed this to be a closed door, and I felt like I had as much closure as I was going to get, I feel that this is the chance I never thought I would have,
As I said before, I do have a loving father in my life, and I know that I would not be the person that I am without him. But I see something so beautiful in at least attempting to heal this relationship. Not that I believe in putting all of the blame for my 'heart troubles' but I do see the loss of my father as the first heart break of my life.
I was a small child when everything happened but I still carry memories and scars from the events leading up to, during and after the divorce. These are scars that are so old and buried so deep that most times I forget that they are there. And I would argue that they do not affect my daily life.
But in those short hours that I spent with my aunts I learned more about my father then I ever knew before. There are a few things that we share, and it's already answered some questions I didn't know that I had.
I had a friend ask me why I was doing this, and I did not want to go into the spiritual reasons behind my decision, so I thought about it for quite some time. And it only occurred to me as I was writing this how much I owe this to myself. I've denied myself this chance in the past, but I knew then and I reaffirm now that I wasn't ready before, but I know that I am now.
I can't say that I expect us to be a happy family again, I can't say that I expect anything really. I think if I were to do so it would ruin the integrity of the event. I might not be that little girl in sundresses any more, but I am still his child, and that is how I am going into our phone call this afternoon.
Even if this ends up not going anywhere, if one of both of us decide that it's not working, at least we can say that we tried, which is more then I've ever had before.
As I wait hour the hours I am not focusing so much on what we will talk about, I only set the intention that it will be what we both need.
Sending you light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Why Answer The Why
Hello lovies,
Welcome to Part Four of my Open Heart Series!
If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journey of how, why, and how to!
We are nearing the end of this series and I have to tell you, this has been one wild ride. I want to give a huge thank you to my soul sister Trisha, I never would have walked down this path without your suggestion and guidance. I am so excited for our ritual February 3rd, not only to share my experiences here but to share them with you as the grand finale to this amazing first series on Through the Open Door.
Do not forget that if you would like to join us on the full moon, follow the link February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.
Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
So without further ado!
Tomorrow I am going to share a personal experience of mine, that in all honesty I never expected to share with a wide audience. Prior to publishing the post, I have only shared with two people. So why share it here? Well, there are a couple of reasons. But first I wanted to clarify a couple of things.
I decided to make this it's own post simply because the other post is so long. I did my best to keep to the high lights, but I also wanted to convey as much as I could about the experience. I wanted both the mediation piece and my reason for sharing to be able to stand on their own.
So much of the time we see actions that don't have a lot of reasoning behind them, when in fact the reasoning is just as important as the action itself, in some instances even more so. If that vital piece of information is missing we're left with these seemingly pointless actions and then we have to deal with the repercussions of those actions, good or bad.
I sincerely believe that if we are more open about sharing our reasons, it not only encourages honesty with others and others with us, but it also helps to promote tolerance by removing the opportunity to make rash judgements. If someone needs further clarification, chances are they will ask for it. If someone is going to pass judgement regardless, then that is on them.
All of that being said, some times reasons are not needed. In circumstances that are private and personal, then the decision falls to the individual of how much they want to share. In this space, when you are here with me, I will do my best to be as open and vulnerable with you as if you were here sitting right next to me.
This sanctuary is not just for me to share my experiences and my thoughts, my hopes and fears. This is also a place for you. A place to learn and grow, and perhaps even share a little bit of yourself if you feel so inclined.
With all of that being said, I will get to those reason I mentioned before. After all, that is what this post is for.
Reason one-I sincerely feel that there are universal themes in what I am going to share with you. Admittedly being a child of the 90s Disney universe, I think that we (and I primarily am referring to girls, but guys are not exempt) grew up with a very different perspective, and certain ideas when it came to love.
Despite the fact that I am a child of not just one set of divorced parents, but two, I still harbored these specific ideas about true love. That regardless of the worlds troubles, and even my own, that my true love was out there some where, and that eventually he would find me.
That's not to say that I still don't believe that somewhere deep down, but being an adult with some seriously not so pleasant life experiences, I know that life and love are not made up of fairy tales. That being said, I am still a very romantic person, that is just part of who I am. I won't say that Disney didn't affect that to some degree, but I think there had to be some inclination already a part of my personality and that's why I resonated with the love stories so strongly.
Even with all of the hardships and trials that just come along with being alive, I still believe that there is a happy ending out there waiting for me to live it.
Reason two-In the meditation that I am going to be sharing, there is a lot of interaction with my guides. I sincerely believe with all of my being in the value of our guides. I know that I have been able to grow and proceed through life in the way that I have because of them.
And I do want to clarify that not all of our guides are of a spiritual nature, if you will. We have guides here on the physical plane with us too. They might be parents, teachers, friends, confidants, pets. Guides are only restricted by the limits we put on them. If you have not already I would encourage you to read the story of how I met one of my guides here in the material world, My Guardian Angel.
Reason three-I think it's important to show people that your guides connect with you on your level. If you think you're connecting but you have doubts like, "Oh, I'm talking with so and so, they wouldn't say that/talk like that/look like that." Your guides are there to connect with YOU, they are going to do so in the best way to give you the messages you need.
This is what I was referring to about setting limits. I understand how awkward and even difficult it can be to not let that affect things, but try to remember that they are doing everything they can to meet you on YOUR level, maybe try giving back a little and try to meet them at their level or even half way. Once you start to do so, it will get easier and you will be so thankful that you did.
In my next post I will be sharing some of the techniques that I have used to successfully connect with my guides as well as a few different meditations that I have been doing to help release the fear in my heart.
I want to thank you so much for joining me on this journey so far, your continued presence is very much appreciated.
Light and love to you and yours dears,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Welcome to Part Four of my Open Heart Series!
If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journey of how, why, and how to!
We are nearing the end of this series and I have to tell you, this has been one wild ride. I want to give a huge thank you to my soul sister Trisha, I never would have walked down this path without your suggestion and guidance. I am so excited for our ritual February 3rd, not only to share my experiences here but to share them with you as the grand finale to this amazing first series on Through the Open Door.
Do not forget that if you would like to join us on the full moon, follow the link February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.
Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
So without further ado!
Tomorrow I am going to share a personal experience of mine, that in all honesty I never expected to share with a wide audience. Prior to publishing the post, I have only shared with two people. So why share it here? Well, there are a couple of reasons. But first I wanted to clarify a couple of things.
I decided to make this it's own post simply because the other post is so long. I did my best to keep to the high lights, but I also wanted to convey as much as I could about the experience. I wanted both the mediation piece and my reason for sharing to be able to stand on their own.
So much of the time we see actions that don't have a lot of reasoning behind them, when in fact the reasoning is just as important as the action itself, in some instances even more so. If that vital piece of information is missing we're left with these seemingly pointless actions and then we have to deal with the repercussions of those actions, good or bad.
I sincerely believe that if we are more open about sharing our reasons, it not only encourages honesty with others and others with us, but it also helps to promote tolerance by removing the opportunity to make rash judgements. If someone needs further clarification, chances are they will ask for it. If someone is going to pass judgement regardless, then that is on them.
All of that being said, some times reasons are not needed. In circumstances that are private and personal, then the decision falls to the individual of how much they want to share. In this space, when you are here with me, I will do my best to be as open and vulnerable with you as if you were here sitting right next to me.
This sanctuary is not just for me to share my experiences and my thoughts, my hopes and fears. This is also a place for you. A place to learn and grow, and perhaps even share a little bit of yourself if you feel so inclined.
With all of that being said, I will get to those reason I mentioned before. After all, that is what this post is for.
Reason one-I sincerely feel that there are universal themes in what I am going to share with you. Admittedly being a child of the 90s Disney universe, I think that we (and I primarily am referring to girls, but guys are not exempt) grew up with a very different perspective, and certain ideas when it came to love.
Despite the fact that I am a child of not just one set of divorced parents, but two, I still harbored these specific ideas about true love. That regardless of the worlds troubles, and even my own, that my true love was out there some where, and that eventually he would find me.
That's not to say that I still don't believe that somewhere deep down, but being an adult with some seriously not so pleasant life experiences, I know that life and love are not made up of fairy tales. That being said, I am still a very romantic person, that is just part of who I am. I won't say that Disney didn't affect that to some degree, but I think there had to be some inclination already a part of my personality and that's why I resonated with the love stories so strongly.
Even with all of the hardships and trials that just come along with being alive, I still believe that there is a happy ending out there waiting for me to live it.
Reason two-In the meditation that I am going to be sharing, there is a lot of interaction with my guides. I sincerely believe with all of my being in the value of our guides. I know that I have been able to grow and proceed through life in the way that I have because of them.
And I do want to clarify that not all of our guides are of a spiritual nature, if you will. We have guides here on the physical plane with us too. They might be parents, teachers, friends, confidants, pets. Guides are only restricted by the limits we put on them. If you have not already I would encourage you to read the story of how I met one of my guides here in the material world, My Guardian Angel.
Reason three-I think it's important to show people that your guides connect with you on your level. If you think you're connecting but you have doubts like, "Oh, I'm talking with so and so, they wouldn't say that/talk like that/look like that." Your guides are there to connect with YOU, they are going to do so in the best way to give you the messages you need.
This is what I was referring to about setting limits. I understand how awkward and even difficult it can be to not let that affect things, but try to remember that they are doing everything they can to meet you on YOUR level, maybe try giving back a little and try to meet them at their level or even half way. Once you start to do so, it will get easier and you will be so thankful that you did.
In my next post I will be sharing some of the techniques that I have used to successfully connect with my guides as well as a few different meditations that I have been doing to help release the fear in my heart.
I want to thank you so much for joining me on this journey so far, your continued presence is very much appreciated.
Light and love to you and yours dears,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
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