Post Move Update

Hey there loves,

I can honestly say that I don't think I've had so much happen in a seven day span as this previous week. I doubt that in this particular update that I will touch on everything that has taken place, but I just wanted to take some time and talk to you all.

As of yesterday I have been in my new home for one week, and am pleased to say that for the most part my partner and I are settled in. The move went smoothly enough, with the small exception that we were informed of a minor flood in our apartment that had been discovered a few days prior.

We were very fortunate to be moving into a space that had been updated with new appliances, carpet, counter tops, a fresh paint job, etc. It turns out that when the new washer and dryer were being installed the valve on the hot water heater cracked and went unnoticed at first, so we spent the first few days in our new space with very large fans designed to remove all of the moisture not just from the carper but from the walls also, which thankfully was successful.

A minor downside is that we are still waiting to have some of the floor boards put back into place and a section of the wall in our laundry area rebuilt which has prevented us from putting together our bookshelves, and as that it is the remainder of what needs to be unpacked, it's hard not to feel accomplished for such a short amount of time.

One side affect of not having our bookshelves together is that I have not set up any sort of alter or sacred space as of yet, what's more is I haven't even smudged! Typically as a rule of thumb, I smudge my new living space any time I move somewhere new, but as all of my sacred tools are carefully packed away, that includes my sage as well.

Rather than overthink it however, I asked my guides, my ancestors, and of course Spirit to bless my new home. I also called to Brigid and welcomed her into my space, I invited her to make my new home her home and asked that she also bestow her blessing not just onto the space and to myself, but for my partner and for harmony between our two animals. Mostly for my cat as she is nearing 11 years old and has never had to share all of her space with another animal. While she has lived with other pets before, she's always had a room or space that was specifically hers. That being said, they're doing surprisingly well, for which both my partner and I are grateful for.

I am also exceedingly grateful to simply have my own space again. For the past two years I have been sharing a three bedroom apartment with up to five roommates. Not that I dislike anyone I've lived with, but the simple fact that my life style was so drastically different from everyone else's made things difficult to say that least. Not to say that I never frustrated my roommates, I can easily imagine it being a two-way street.
Regardless, I left on good terms with everyone and hope to stay in touch with the one's I have known the longest.

Another thing that I am looking forward to getting back to now that I have the free space to do so, is to get back to spell crafting. I may not have talked about it too much in the past, but when I was living on my own I felt much more inclined to ritual, to spell work, meditation and overall just being more active in my practice. I think in part due to the fact that I am not constantly attempting to shield myself and my space from outside energies as, well, it takes a lot of energy!

Plus with this full moon in Leo, I am feeling the itch and the desire to dive deeper into creative side, something that has felt rather lacking, almost dormant for the past several weeks if not months. I am still carrying with me part of the message that I received during the last full moon, which was to continue to rest. Some work needs to be done, which is to be expected, but now as the snow seems to be staying away (knock on wood!) and the temperature is steadily climbing, I am beginning to feel my inner energies stir and stretch up and outwards. I am also feeling a very strong desire to be organized and practical in very aspect of my life rather then being so, "well, we'll see when I get there."

I anticipate that once I get everything unpacked and really settled in, that I will pick up my studies again regarding chakras and diving deeper into my study of the tarot, which I have not forgotten about the monthly tarot card, I hope to have that up tomorrow.

For now I think this is a good stopping point as the other big event from the past week requires its own posting. If you're interested in honoring the full moon tomorrow night but are not sure how or don't have a lot of time, I would encourage you to join myself and many others with Sage Goddess for the February Full Moon Ritual. 

I absolutely love these rituals and always come away feeling refreshed and connected to Spirit. If you haven't done so yet, I was so inspired by last months ritual that I wrote about it; Full Moon, Late Night.

I have said so before and I will say again that I am in no way affiliated with Sage Goddess, and I receive nothing for promoting them, I truly do just love the community and the rituals. If you're curious and want to see what rituals have been done in the past, I'll include a link to their YouTube Channel where you can go through the archives of previous years rituals. Sage Goddess Playlists

Well, I suppose it's time I get ready for work as I certainly enjoyed my three day weekend after what has certainly been a transformative week to say the least. It really does feel so good to be home.

 Brightest Blessings to you all,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Tarot Card of 2016

Hey loves,

I don't know about the rest of you, but this year has been a serious roller coaster ride. There have been so many changes it's hard to keep track of them all. Some of the changes I brought on consciously, others came unexpectedly, most of which were welcome, others not so much.

If I had the presence of mind to look into this at the beginning of the year, I might have been a tad more prepared, because my tarot card for this year is in fact, the Tower.

The Tower and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves to show up and I tend to hate it whenever it does, at first at least. Even though I am late in the year for pulling this card, I can feel the ripple of energy that began when the clock struck twelve on January first.

I started of the year in relationship that I quickly got out of, spent a few weeks single before connecting with my new partner, I've changed jobs twice, I've had the opportunity to meet my niece and nephew for the first time whom I now try to see on a weekly basis, I began the process of releasing dozens of item from my past that I no longer felt a need to hold onto, I started journaling and writing just for myself, I've connected with new and old guides and I found the synchronicity of two paths that I feel such a strong connection and pull towards.

Those are the good things, and I am grateful that there have been so many to balance out the few but traumatic events that have come with them. When times are difficult, I hold onto the good things, and I try to remind myself that balance is necessary in all things, but it can't always be maintained on it's own.

I'm realizing how much I crave balance, and as I am being confronted by and attempting to work through the greatest darkness I've come across in this life time, I'm learning a whole new respect for myself.

When I look at the Tower card, I can relate to the character who is jumping in an effort to save herself, where as the other character looks like they are being thrown by the force of the lightening strike, this character looks as though they will surely hit the rocks and may not survive (given what we can see from the picture.) The character on the left however looks as though they may miss the rocks and avoid further damage.

The character in red knew that there was no other way out, and even though jumping was a risk, it was a risk they were willing to take, it feels to me that this woman in red put her faith in what she held true to her heart, and took a leap of faith.

We don't necessarily know the fate of these two figures, but I see is that the destruction of the tower, perhaps their metaphorical walls, cause them to make the choice to crumble along with the stones, or to move on and to move towards something new, perhaps even something better.

What I experience earlier this year was traumatic and awful and some would say down right evil. There were times I felt myself caving in just like that tower, but I had friends, and family, and my partner to help me push the rubble aside, and lent me their strength and courage to rebuild.

Destruction before creation, death followed by rebirth, the ebb and flow of Source.

If you are new to my blog and have not had a chance to read about last year's tarot card, and want to find your own tarot card for the year, here's how.

This idea is based on numerology using your birth month and day, and the current year.

I will use my own as an example, my birth month and day are, 12/31 and of course the year is 2016. So you will take each number individually and add them together, like this:

1+2+3+1+2+0+1+6

When you add it all together you come to 16.

If you come up with a larger number than the number of major arcana cards then you take your two digit number and add those two numbers together.

The deck I used for this year's card was the DruidCraft Tarot by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm. The deck was my first ever, as it was a birthday gift from my folks when I was first starting on my path, it is a deck I highly recommend.

With that, I wish you all the best,

Light and love to you and yours,

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

The Autumn Equniox

Hey there lovelies,

I am excited to write and share with you about this next turn of the wheel. It wasn't too long ago that we wandered through the mysteries of Lughnasadh, and now as we approach the second of the three harvest festivals, a lot of us here in the pagan community begin to look back on the previous year and take time to reflect on what seeds were planted that prospered and grew, and which ones did not.

Over the last several weeks I've heard a lot of folks refer to this holiday in a couple of different ways, all of which I thought would be fun to share with you here.

First, which is of course an alternative name to this holiday, which is Mabon, pronounced may-bon. There are several ways to pronounce this name, so don't be surprised if you see some variations here and there. There was some debate for a time whether or not the name Mabon was really connected to the holiday or not, but as the name came from a harvest deity, much like Lughnasadh, for one reason or another it stuck.

If you're curious about this Welsh god and his story, I found a great rendition by a fellow blogger, Meadowsweet and Myrrh.

The second was a comparison to the three harvest festivals; Lughnasadh, Mabon and Samhain, as the three phases of the goddess; maiden, mother and crone.

When Lughnasadh arrives it's the first harvest and the maiden has taken that ultimate step into womanhood by becoming pregnant (either literally or figuratively with the crops of the Earth.) Come Mabon the crops have been reaped and she prepares for the next stage of her life, and the long winter she knows is coming and thus transitions to the phase of the crone by Samhain. At Samhain she welcomes her death and ultimate rebirth during the time of year when the veil between the physical world and the spiritual world is the thinnest.

The third concept that I heard recently was the comparison of Mabon with Thanksgiving. This one took me a little by surprise. Whether you are brand new to the path or are well weathered, most of us know by now that the sacred holidays we celebrate are quite common place these days, the majority of them having been Christianized in one way or another in the middle ages. But Thanksgiving is not one of them.

So as I was reading a few different articles, the idea really clicked with me and I've decided to spend this year celebrating this autumn equinox as a pagan Thanksgiving. A time to spend with my loved ones and circle members, to reflect on the fruits of my labors, to put to rest the dreams or goals that didn't pan out that they might return to me at a later time, or simply as a lesson well learned.

Now, what is so special about the autumn equinox? Why do we take the time to recognize this time of year?

Glad you asked!

In the Wheel of the Year, we have what are called the cross quarter days, meaning that we have four days to mark the beginning of each season and therefore, divide up the year into-you guessed it, quarters. When you line up these days they tend to make a cross like symbol, one light diagonally across, and one vertical line.

We have the two solstices, Summer and Winter, and we have two equinoxes, Spring and Autumn.

During the solstices, we have the longest day of the year (Summer) and we have the longest night of the year (Winter). With the equinoxes, the day and night time hours are equal in length, making it quite the magical time, encouraging us to seek balance and harmony as we make the transition from light to dark, from dark to light, and back again.

This particular equinox falls on September 23rd which is a little bit later than usual as it typically falls between the 20th and the 22nd of the month. It's also going to pack a bit more of a punch since we are currently in Mercury Retrograde.  This retrograde began on the 17th and runs through October 9th. If you're new to the dance of Mercury Retrograde, I would encourage you to read the article I wrote back in January on my Facebook page. I also recently wrote about the current retrogrades and how that might be affecting us all through the rest of the year. Here's a link to that for you as well.

Up until the 23rd our lovely sun is in the sign of Virgo, but come the equinox, she shifts into the sign of Libra. A sign universally recognized for balance. If you're curious what to expect from this retrograde, I would encourage you to check out this article I found, it definitely paints a happier picture than most do concerning Mercury's retrograde.

So how does one go about celebrating such a day? Well, for that I found a couple of great sites with some fun and easy suggestions, as well as some specifics if you're wanting to incorporate something in particular.

I know this article was from last year, but it still has some great ideas that can be done individually or in a group setting, you can even do both if you so desire! Huff Post: Religion.

The Celtic Connection is a really great resource for all sorts of goodies, especially if you don't have a your own copy of books such as Autumn Equinox by Ellen Dugan or Supermarket Magic-both of which I highly recommend.

If this is your first year celebrating and you're looking for something small and informal to simply connect with the energies of the day, weather permitting, take a walk outside in a local park or in your neighborhood. It's a great way to not only get out in nature to feel the natural balance of things, but depending on where you live you might already be seeing some of the affects of this time of year.

Mabon is a time where you take account of the fruits of your labor and you celebrate your accomplishments. I think that it's something we should all be doing more often, in general. We're at a time in our society where we are constantly trying to achieve more, trying to do better, trying to get to that next peg on the ladder to wherever it is that we're trying to get; and we lose track of the progress we've made and all of the things that we've conquered along the way.

Before you take that walk, or maybe once you're there, take a notebook and pen/pencil with you and write down all of the achievements you've claimed this year. And as you walk, pick up a leaf, a pebble or an acorn orpine cone to represent each of those things.

For example if you're in school, pick up a representation for each good grade you got, or each paper and/or project that you're proud of.

 Also, don't be afraid to write down the goals that didn't work out. Now is the time to leave them behind; to release the energy you invested into them back into the Universe so that it may return to you for better uses. When you return from your walk, set out your collection in a space where you will see them often, on your desk, night table, or alter. With the 'crops that didn't bear fruit' take the list and invite your guides, your angels, and the deities that you connect with most, or that you would like to honor during this time to come witness as you release those things. You can burn that part of your list with a candle, or in a heat safe container. Which ever method you choose, always practice fire safety. You can also bury the list if you so choose, just make sure it's buried deep enough that a critter won't mistake it for food.

One recipe that I found recently isn't entirely a Mabon tradition, but it sounded too good not to share, I know I cannot wait to make this a seasonal tradition. Who doesn't love the sound of Sparkling Cider Pound Cake? To be honest, it sounds like something you should be able to order at Starbucks around the holidays, but I think making it is more fun.

One character that you'll see mentioned during this time of year is John Barleycorn or Jonny Barleycorn. When broken down, it is a tale regarding the process of making beer, and depending on which version of the song/story you read it can be quite graphic. You can read a little bit about the legend here.

But there is a really important message in good ol' Barleycorn's tale. Sometimes in life, you have to make sacrifices. It's not always the easy choice, and more often then not, it's painful but it's a necessary part of life.

I was talking with my new boyfriend the other day about this time of year, as naturally I am introducing him to this way of life, and when I told him that autumn was my favorite time of year, something made me stop to think about why.

Don't get me wrong, I love sweaters, and slippers, scarves, pumpkins and pumpkin flavored just about anything, so many different kinds of soup, the changing of the leaves...

The changing of the leaves is always a sure sign the winter is on the way; a time of quiet, or reflection, the physical death of most trees and plants. Why would that be something that I take pleasure in?

I then realized that there is beauty to the end of things. There is something magical and mystical and comforting knowing that there is a form of closure to everything. It's a subtle reminder that death is part of the natural order of things. Nature does it in a way that's beautiful, and filled with a kind of comfort.

Things need perish and be let go of to make way for new life, and new opportunities. The Earth understands this, and does this out of pure necessity. If you're struggling with something like this, which trust me, we have all been there-reach out to the deities who are connected with this time, with this season and allow them to shower you with love and perspective and invite them to help you with the upcoming transitions.

I hope that this equinox brings you much joy, much clarity and much needed balance.

Sending light and love to you all dears,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

The Green Light

Hello lovies,

Not too long ago I wrote about the current planetary retrogrades and how they might be affecting us here on Earth which you can read about here if you haven't already. I've heard from several people how much better they feel having at least an idea of where some of the changes in their life are stemming from-which is what I had hoped for.

But I never expected that they would create such a clear road map for my own life, and ultimately push me into making some very unexpected changes within myself.

The biggest retrograde that seems to have everyone talking right now seems to be Venus, which goes direct again on September 6th, so we've got some time left with that one, and with Uranus not going direct until December 26th, we've got changes coming our way for the remainder of the year.

It sounds daunting, there's no arguing that. And with this being an eight year which suggests prosperity and abundance, I don't know that anyone thought there would be an abundance of change.

I knew that I would be going into this year with hope and determination and that I was going to make 2015 my year. And up until recently I felt like I was still trying to figure out how to make that happen, and in some ways I think I was waiting for it also.

If you've been keeping up with my blog you know that there has been no lack of changes taking place, and some of the changes haven't exactly brought on the warm and fuzzies; but because of those experiences it's encouraged me to react with more positive changes and in doing so I'm receiving a clearer picture of who I am, where I'm going, and what it is I am here to do.

It's been about four months since I've moved now and since that time I've been receiving fairly regular messages and signs from the Universe about the number one thing in my life that needed changing.

It was a change that I ultimately felt conflicted about and despite having moments of clarity and resolve, I was unsuccessful in implementing the change that needed to take place. It became such a struggle for me that eventually when I had a moment to myself I released all of the frustration, anger and resentment that was being fed by my ego through tears of sheer vulnerability. I prayed to the gods to simply take the burden from me since I felt that I was not strong enough to handle this task by myself.

I really just left it up to the Universe on what I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to handle this change because every thing I had tried up until that point just hadn't worked.

And then seemingly out of nowhere, I was presented with an opportunity to once and for all let it all go. That's not to say that it was a painless release, but the truth of the matter is that it was going to be painful regardless of when or how. And if I wasn't going to make this change at the time I was presented with, I simply wasn't ever going to.

It really came down to giving myself a chance at something I deserved and something that I had been holding out for. That's not to say I wasn't cautious and I certainly wasn't invested in the potential outcomes, I was simply open to it.

Besides, how many of us can honestly say that when the gods are doing everything short of a light show to get your attention and repeatedly giving signs that not even a blind man would miss, are you really going to ignore that?

Today is the day that the sun traveled into the sign  of Virgo which promotes action and taking initiative. So if you've been putting of that change that you know you're supposed to make; this is your green light.

I've said it before, and I doubt this will be the last time, change can be scary. Terrifying even. But we can here to LIVE not merely exist or survive as best we can until the inevitable end.

I took the biggest chance of my life so far, and it has left me feeling free, and light and full of joy. I don't know what the future holds, but I am excited and ready to take this journey and to not take it alone.

Earlier this year I said goodbye to love, and just a few short days ago, I said hello again.

What is it that has been knocking at your door, tapping on your window, whispering to your heart?

In light and love my dears,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

In Dreams

Hello lovies,

I had a dream not to long before I made this huge decision to offer readings in a public, professional form, which you can now find here. It was something that at the time was relative enough to the path I've been on, and the progress I've made on that path, but it didn't sink in until the Solstice how much deeper this dream went.

I knew that I wanted to share this dream right away, but I also wanted to take my time getting back into the groove of this blog, and with writing rather than blurting out and publishing every thought that I have.

This post alone as been added to several times, mostly because of timing. I will say that it is quite rare for me to hold on to a post for as long as I have, but I am happy that I did so. 

Without further ado...

Earlier in the REM cycle I experienced a dream and the only thing I can remember about it was that in my dream state, I concluded that the meaning of this dream was that I had been trying to approach things the same way or do things the same way and that things were simply not working so I simply needed to changed them...Okay.

This second dream, I had given birth to a baby girl, and my mother was with me. In her motherly duties she was preparing for the baby to baptized and made an official member of the church. (Just to be clear my family is not Catholic, those who fall under the Christian umbrella are mostly Baptist. But all the same.)

At point point it was even discussed that I would go through the baptism-which in my dream I was uncomfortable with being that I've never been baptized in the physical plane and dream me knew this, dream me was not keen on the idea.

I could feel myself panicking because even though I have nothing against baptism, it simply wasn't something I wanted. I began to feel as though I wold have no say in my daughter's life, I mean, the kid was just born why not wait until she knows what it means and then let her decide?

When my mother returned to take my daughter to be baptized, I told her no. I looked straight at my mother and told her that I didn't want to raise my daughter that way, that I wouldn't allow it.

I spent some time considering what this dream might mean, and it wasn't until a meditation in which I was instructed to find my sanctuary that I made the connection.

I sincerely believe in following your soul's truth, your own path and while I have never explicitly come out to my mother as a pagan, she's a smart woman, I'm sure she knows on some level.

When I was asked to find this sanctuary, I found myself in the ocean. My breathing sounded to me as though I were underwater, I felt the waves around me, the sun beating down through the blueish green glass.

By finding this sanctuary, by going to these meet ups and being introduced to certain people I am finally seeing my path being illuminated. When I come out the other side of this journey, I will have been reborn, I will not be able to conceal my work from my family, and I don't want to.

I will always be my mother's child, she will always want to protect me and do what she thinks is right for me. But I need to find the strength that I've always lacked when it's come to her and use my voice to tell her the truth.

I am beginning to see the woman that I am slowly transforming into, and while I'm slightly nervous about this process, I move towards it with heart.

I may even change my name, but that's for future me to decide.

©2013-2015 Thealynn

What in the Universe is Going On?

Hey lovies,

In honor of the fact that we will be having a Blue Moon this coming Friday, I thought I would write a little post and give my thoughts about this event and while I was at it I started looking into what else was going on in our solar system.

I've heard in several places that we currently have seven planets in retrograde, but I was only able to track down five of them. I fully admit that I am not an astronomy buff, and most of the time I find it quite confusing simply because there is just so much of it! If I learn which other two planets are currently in retrograde, I will certainly amend this or if anyone knows and would like to share, please feel free to do so below!

In my effort to become more in tune with the Universe as a whole, I've started trying to pay more attention to astrology whether it's learning about my own natal chart or learning about planets when they go into retrograde.

Before I go too much further, I want to explain what retrograde is. I myself was unfamiliar with the concept not too long ago, so if you're new to this, that's okay! Dictonary.com defines retrograde as:

"adjective

1. moving backward; having a backward motion or direction; retiring or retreating.

2. inverse or reversed, as order.
 
4. Astronomy. 
moving in an orbit in the direction opposite to that of the earth in its revolution around the sun.
appearing to move on the celestial sphere in the direction opposite to the natural order of the signs of the zodiac, or from east to west."

What we've learned from astronomers and other scientists is that the planets are not actually traveling backwards, but rather their orbit slows down to the point where from here on Earth it only looks like they are traveling backwards.

Moving right along!

We've talked once before about Mercury going into Retrograde which it seems to do about every three months. But what about the other planets? Does this Blue Moon really have any special meaning that a regular full moon does not?

These topics are what I'll be diving into today, to hopefully form a bigger picture of what is going on out there in space, and what we can do about it. Before I jump in, if you have are interested in receiving your own natal chart, I recommend Astro.com, it's very informative and best part is, it's free!

All righty then, so the planets (that I could find) which are currently in retrograde are Venus, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. I'll list there dates below.

**A quick update for you all, as each planet goes direct again, I will be marking off each retrograde to make finding the current ones a bit easier for returning and current readers.**

Venus - July 25-September 6
I don't know about you, but when it comes to retrogrades aside from the bad rap that Mercury can sometimes earn, Venus going into retrograde sounds just as scary when in reality it's probably one of our greatest opportunities.

As we all know (or so I like to think) Venus is the planet of love, and relationships. So when this planet starts going backwards what does that mean for us? Do our relationships unravel, is this just going to be forty days and forty nights of chaos?

While there is always a chance of communications going array, Venus retrograde is more about moving on and letting go of past loves that might still be lingering around. Whether it's emotionally, or physically.

A lot of times after relationships end, unless they ended really badly, we still hang onto little mementos from that time; whether they're pictures, gifts, mix CDs (depending on your age), little knick knacks. If you've been hanging onto things like that and they only bring you sadness, hurt, longing, or feelings of loneliness-why keep them?

Those physical reminders are holding a space for that person, and thus it's keeping those wounds open. If you're ready to move on and let them go, then do so! Free up that space for self love, and perhaps down the road, love from another.

If you're going to get rid of those items, please keep in mind that in some instances other people can still get use out of them. Before giving anything away, bless them with a few simple words of thanks for the positivity they brought you and send them away with it so that they can bring joy to someone else.

Burning pictures and letters can be extremely cathartic-I myself have done this and I cannot tell you what a difference I felt. If you do go this route, try to do with a friend, and always use fire safety.

If you're currently in a relationship, now is an opportune time to reflect and consider what you're getting out of your relationship, and if that's working for you or not. Use this time to be open with your partner and find ways to heal and/or improve the relationship.

I've seen it advised during almost everywhere to not take any drastic action while the planet(s) remain in retrograde. But always follow what's best for you, if you're in an unhealthy relationship, don't wait on the planets to get yourself into a better situation-your safety and well being should always come first.

One last thing I want to mention, and then we'll move on.

Venus only goes into retrograde every 18 months. So, take some time to look back on December of 2013 and think about where you were, and think about how far you have come. Think about where your relationships have been, and where they are now-are all of those relationships still intact?

Even when it's painful, try to be grateful for those experiences; without them, you wouldn't be who you are.


Saturn - March 14-August 2
We're coming to the party a little late with Saturn being in retrograde, but that doesn't mean that we're out of time or that we can't reflect on what's taken place since the retrograde began.

There were two main themes that I kept coming across; time and krama. Both of these aspects are ruled by Saturn and being a Capricorn, that means that planetarily speaking, I am also ruled by this planet. Now knowing that Saturn has been in retrograde really does explain A LOT.

It's times like this where karmic balances are brought about in a more distinct way, and you may have been feeling like time has slowed down in a sense. As frustrating as it can be, taking the time to examine projects and commitments that you have have agreed to in haste and whether or not you want to amend those decisions.

When people think of karma, they usually think of the not so fuzzy side, and while that's true, we also can't let ourselves forget the brighter side of karma. Another thing to keep in mind about karma is that, karma doesn't recognize time like we do. Past, present, and future are fluid when it comes to karma, and it's really about when those lessons will mean the most to you.


Uranus - July 26-December 26
In the research that I have done, I feel like Uranus is the planet that puts butts in gear. Uranus is the planetary influence that keeps us on our toes if we're getting to comfortable.

So when Uranus goes into retrograde, it goes into a bit of an overdrive. Any issues that have been swept under the rug, put in the closet, out of sight out of mind; Uranus brings them front and center with bells and whistles, and even potentially a light show.

If you've been heading down a not so great path, this is typically the time when Uranus will give you a big wake up call, and an opportunity to turn yourself, and your life around. Such events can be painful, but in all honesty some times we need that to bring us back to who we are and what we really want for our lives.

If you find yourself in a relationship or in a job situation that you're not exactly happy with but you stay out of fear of change, this is the time to really be honest with yourself about why you're where you are. It provides you with an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, face your fears and allow the Universe to provide those signs and guidance to help get you where you want to be.

If left alone long enough, Uranus will end up doing all of that work for you, and it'll potentially prove to be considerably more uncomfortable than if you work with the energy of Uranus and steer into the grove that is radiating from this outer planet, you'll handle these changes much easier.

These changes that Uranus brings us is not just in our personal lives, but can be influential on a much larger scale; which helps to explain all the changes we've been seeing here in the US.


Neptune - June 12-November 18
I've been finding more and more that when people hear the word 'retrograde' there's a sense of panic that comes with that, and I think it's safe to say that Mercury is at the very least, a contributing factor for that.

As it turns out, Neptune is a planet of dreams and illusions, which can lead to outright denial in extreme cases, and the invention of excuses and procrastination in other cases.

One thing you might experience during Neptune in it's retrograde is a harsh wake up call. While Neptune is direct we're able to escape into our inner worlds and to set on the back burner all of the things that we don't want to deal with.

Neptune's retrograde isn't all bad though, all of the following are more prominent during this time: the breaking of illusions, seeing truth and reality, conscious thinking and planning, clarity, seeing what is really important, heightened sensitivity, deeper insight and intuition.

This provides us with the option to do some serious digging into the deeper aspects of our lives, whether mundane or spiritual and to shine some light on what kind of affect those illusions are having; the picture isn't always pretty, but again, it's easier to clean up a small mess versus an explosion.

Daydreaming and having fantasies can be what makes life bearable for some of us, if not all of us from time to time. But it's about balancing that dream world with reality, and bringing those dreams to life in a tangible way so that we don't feel the need to 'escape' all the time. Because we've brought those dreams into the physical world, and by doing so we can possibly help others do the same.


Pluto - April 16-September 25
I don't know about the rest of you, but I still consider Pluto to be a planet, forget that astronomers say! Besides, if it wasn't important why would be we getting close up photos of it, huh??

Stepping off my Pluto for Planet soap box, this little planet has got some serious shadow work headed out way until it turns direct on September 25th.

Pluto is ruler of the underworld, and with that comes the connection with the darker side of things; of secrets, skeletons in the closet, and maybe just some personal dilemmas that we've thus far either been unable to deal with or have outright refused to deal with. Pretty much anything that might be hiding beneath the surface.

By bringing all of these things into the light, it provides the opportunity to do much needed healing and transformation. If that's the case, now is the time for some serious emotional and spiritual house cleaning.

The timing that comes across to me is rather auspicious as we're preparing for the first harvest which you can read about here; and as the summer dwindles down and we head into the darker time of the year, the more light, love and positivity we can bring with us the better.

One thing to keep in mind about shadow work is that it's never done. As human beings we are constantly changing and learning and with that comes less than desirable experiences which can include mistakes.

This is not something to fret over or to beat yourself up about, the sooner you embrace the fact that you have the shadow work to do, the sooner you'll find the strength within yourself to conquer those fears that have been lingering in the dark.

~*~

Whew! With all of the information floating around in the air and our brains now, there were several resounding themes that came up, but I am going to focus on the main two.

First and probably the loudest was that there's change coming, it's inevitable, your best bet is to prepare yourself now.

Followed very closely by; stop lying to yourself, treat yourself like you matter, don't let those excuses and what happened in the past keep you from being the best you can be.

With that comes the whole reason I started this endeavor, the upcoming Blue Moon-who knew I would end up spending so much time on the planets when I sat down to write this? I know I sure didn't!

I wanted to do something special with my Circle with this one and I wanted to have my plan set, so I went searching for what is traditionally done, and from everything I've found regarding this event there seems to be one common factor: goals.

This will be the last Blue Moon that we have until January 31st 2018 so it's super important to me that I make this moon count. This moon is all about allowing yourself to think about those dreams, desires, wishes that seem too big or extravagant to come true.

With everything else going on in the Universe this is possibly the biggest sign I have ever seen to be open and honest with yourself, allow yourself to let go and move on from past hurts regardless of how they are caused and to make that space available for planting the seeds of what you want to manifest in your life.

Change is a natural part of life, and fighting it doesn't keep it from happening, all it does is make the transitions more painful. Some times change is painful, but that's how we learn and grow and doesn't it make sense to accept our lessons and the pain that goes with than to drag it out, thus creating more pain?

That's not to say that we don't all move at our own pace, and that some pains take longer to heal than others. Simply that when given the chance to live a better life, wouldn't you take it?

The Universe has a way of making this changes either with or without us at one point or another. I don't know about you, but I personally find it easier over all to do my best to pay attention and to go with the Universal flow of things than to try and fight against the current.

These can be trying times, but know that you are never facing these trials alone, you always have someone there who believes in you, and wants to best for you. Accept the support, we're not meant to do everything by ourselves.

Sending much light and love to you dears,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Opening the Door

Hey there lovies,

I have to be honest and say that I've been laughing at myself a little bit today. I've been working with a good friend of mine, to alter and change things around here so that I can effectively offer readings here, Through the Secret Door.

It's been some time since I wanted to share so much all at once and I had planned originally for things to be a bit more spaced out and not a giant lump of information at you all at once.

I had intended to be able to offer the readings beginning on the Solstice, but again, timing. So it became official in the wee hours of the morning, and I did a couple of announcements on social media, but I wanted to share it here as well along with a couple of other posts.

So with this being the first, there will be three posts made live today. Throughout the rest of the week I'm sure you'll see me share them in various places but I really do want to just get it all out there!

In the last couple of months I've been working and developing a Circle, that I have made very tight bonds with and in doing so I have felt myself grow and change in ways that I thought would take years to achieve. Don't get me wrong, I am still very much on a path of learning and exploring, and I sincerely hope that that adventure never stops.

I do want to express how excited I am about this leap I am taking, if only for just a moment. I've been studying the tarot for almost seven years now and working with oracle for about three. I never imagined that I would feel a calling to do something like this as a way of income. I remember watching videos on Youtube of people receiving readings, and I remember thinking how skilled these men and women were, and how much time and dedication it took to get to where they were. I never pictured myself as one of them.

I'd always just done readings for myself or for my friends, and I loved doing that, what I've been learning though is that I love helping people by becoming a conduit between them and the Universe.

This past Friday was my first experience readings for strangers in a professional setting, and the last woman I helped was a reader herself, so I was a bit nervous at first. But the moment I took the cards back and began laying them out, I felt a sense of calm, a sense of purpose, of confidence.

This fellow reader had a subject weighing so heavily on her mind, that I could physically feel how much the situation was weighing on her. I must have spent 45 minutes with her, but it was all worth it to see the relief and the hope that was now with her.

While I know that realistically, it might not be the same for every client, even though I was energetically drained, I couldn't have been happier to meet this woman.

That one reading alone taught me such a valuable lesson: be more open.

Sounds simple enough, and even though it's something I've gotten better at being open to the blessings of the Universe, there is one area that I've kept myself clear of: love.

In my post A Truly Open Heart, I described my experience and insight into saying goodbye to my first love. I was ready to say goodby to the old, but I wasn't ready to say hello to the new.

Well, that's changing. I wrote a poem back in January while writing my Open Heart Series but I wasn't quite ready to share it. I always felt that when the time was right, I would know it, and I would only publish it then.

Today is that day. I realized that I can never be truly open to the blessings of the Universe if I set a limit or restriction, so today I am forgoing all resistance.

I am open to success, I am open to prosperity, I am open to joy, I am open to opportunity, I am open to friendship, I am open to family, I am open to love.

I hope that you are open to the blessings of the Universe dear ones, it can only hold wonders for you

In light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

A Truly Open Heart

Hey there lovies,

I've been incredibly fortunate to be a part of some truly amazing experiences these last few weeks. Quite frankly I never expected to have the privilege of being a participant in helping and connecting with and I would be so bold as to say, inspiring as many individuals as I have these last couple of months.

The opportunities that have been given to me since I have made this move have been numerous, but one that I never thought I would have is the opportunity to have full closure and to say goodbye to the first real love of my life.

This person has been everything to me; friend, confidant, lover, counselor, supporter and every nook and cranny that falls in between. They've also been responsible for causing a great deal of pain, disappointment, anger, frustration and confusion.

But to be honest, I can't imagine a first love being any different. I can't fathom that anyone else would hold such sway, who could so gently hold another's heart and be so careless with it in one stroke.

I've written before about my thoughts on love, and it's not terribly surprising that only a few short months later, finding myself with a different perspective on it. When I look back at myself the last time I wrote about love, I was trying to reconcile with the idea, I was trying to make myself believe that...love just is.

I don't think you choose when you love someone, I think to some extent it just happens on its own. Love is the greatest force I have ever encountered; it contains every positive and negative elements that is conceivable.

Because while it possesses all of the infinite wonder and possibility that we all look for and desire, but doing so, it leaves us open to all of the damage that can be caused because of it. It leaves us vulnerable to all of the disasters, but it also requires us to be open to the miracles that can take place.

This path that I am on, not only for myself but for the purpose I believe with all my heart that I am here to accomplish, has asked me to question everything about the way I used to do things, the perspectives I've held, the people I surround myself with.

I have been asked to be open, to be flexible, to be patient and understanding, to be brave and courageous, to trust. There have been times when my ego has held up its hands and said, "Whoa! Slow you're roll there, I'm only human. Mere mortal right here, let's not get carried away here."

All of those things are essential to any kind of growth, all of those things are necessary for success.

When I started this journey, which there have been several 'starting over points' I never expected to be asked to change myself as much as I find myself changing. It's a bit overwhelming some times.

I don't think you choose when you love someone, but I think you can choose when to stop loving someone. I fell in love with this person despite every effort not to, because I knew in my soul, in my heart of hearts that this was not it for me. Not this time.

I have loved this individual with my whole heart, soul, being and there is a part of me that sincerely wishes that things could be different. As difficult as it is though, I have to remind myself that I don't truly believe that I'm it for them either.

The two of us have spent so much time together, have shared so much and have grown so much together, as a couple, as friends. There's been a part of my heart that has held steadfast to them because I remember all too well what that was like, and how it made me feel.

But I'm slowly coming to the realization that, the best thing we can do for each other and for ourselves is to let that love go. It was beautiful, and special, and brought me a life that I never thought I was capable of having. I've been slow to accept that there is someone else who will love and cherish me, and fulfill me in every way, and I for them-in this direction that I am heading, this path and purpose for this life.

And I believe wholeheartedly that there is someone out there for them too, who can connect and care for them in ways that I simply cannot.

I will always treasure them, and I sincerely hope that they will always be a good friend of mine. But now is the time to say goodbye, and to release that love and set the intention for them that when the time is right, they find their soulmate.

I can feel my own approaching, which strangely, doesn't make this easier. But knowing that there is genuine happiness outside of this person does. Knowing that there is genuine happiness out there for them makes it easier to let go, to say goodbye to them so that I can say hello to myself and my future.

Love is quite the mystery...

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Not An Ending But A Beginning

Hello lovies,

Welcome to Part Ten and the Final Installment of my Open Heart Series.

I'm sure that I have mentioned at least once before how I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting when I started this journey, where it would take me. I certainly did not expect it to grow into what is has become though I couldn't be happier with it.

Admittedly it's hard for me to know what to say here because well, I know that for me, the journey isn't over. It is something that I will continue possibly for the rest of my life, because once a heart is healed, what good is it if left unattended or locked away to prevent future damage? A closed heart is not a heart that can extend or receive love, and hasn't that been the whole point?

For the last several days I have been working on another writing project, that in time I am sure will make some sort of appearance here, but until that time I am keeping it a private matter.

Apart from that project the last time that I really wrote a piece for this blog was two weeks ago. I experienced a mini writing marathon where I wanted everything to be prepared to just publish on the correlating day and it has worked well, until now.

I became completely focused on the middle of this series, of this process that I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about the conclusion. When I originally started work on this series I anticipated using the experience of the latest full moon ritual to prepare me for this and in some ways it has.

The series itself did more for me in terms of healing, understanding, and opening up in more ways then I ever could have imagined.

Over the course of these past few weeks I have let go of so much hurt and resentment, I have learned how to open myself up in new ways, and I even connected with deity in a very profound way.

This journey may not be over, but I have the next step within my sight, which is truly a blessing in and of itself.

In light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Behind Door Number Three

Hey there lovies,

Welcome to Part Nine of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditiations
Whisperings of a Ghost 
Connecting with Your Guides

So without further ado!

There have been so many things that have transpired since I began this journey of my Open Heart series. I thought that reuniting with my father after twenty years would be the high light, but it turns out, the Universe had more in store for me.

Don't worry, I'll explain.

I am participating in sessions with a well versed spiritual teacher, along with many others, and during our most recent lesson a goddess' name was spoken and it sounded as if the name itself was ringing. Now, from time to time I will have random ringing or a high pitched note go off in my ears for varying amounts of time, and at first I thought that's what it was. As my teacher talked about part of our spiritual work and about the goddess herself, I felt myself slowly filling up and then slowly being surrounded by this energy.

I felt warm, empowered, creative and sexy. That last part really threw me for a loop, because there have been very few times that I have felt that way. Which I never really considered a bad thing, but when I was thinking about it a bit more and it made me...sad.

While I very much embrace the fact that I am an Earth sign, and am very much rooted in a physical world, I've never had much appreciated my own physical form. I've never considered myself particularly attractive, or fit, or even desirable.

There have been several years when I have told myself that I would get in shape, and I would change my eating habits and that I wanted to take better care of myself physically, I haven't done it. Not for extended periods of time anyway.

I never really gave  thought as to why it never stuck, or why I was never able to commit to it, and to be honest, the only thing that comes to mind is I am afraid of changing. Which sounds so silly when I put it that way, because there really are NO downsides to any of those goals. My ego comes into play though and reminds me of how gross I'll get working out, and how I'll be sore, and what about that asthma I've never been professionally diagnosed with?

While I have never been a particularly thin person, it's only been in the last five years that I've become overweight. Not dangerously so, but enough that any body issues I may have had before were magnified.

I was on the heavier side of the average for my age and height, and while I felt like my thighs were mountains, I was fine with the rest of my body. I certainly didn't love my body, but I didn't hate it either. Overall I just wasn't very excited about my whole self.

I've never liked too much physical activity because I felt like it only highlighted what I considered to be what I was physically lacking or I felt like I just was not good at whatever I was trying to do. I preferred to be stationary and write or read-not that that much has changed to be honest.

Last summer for one of my college classes I took ballroom dance, and I LOVED it. It's true that I was sore some days, and that we all certainly got sweaty due to lack of air conditioning in that part of the gym, but I had an absolute blast.

Before that class I always said how much I didn't think I could dance. And sure, it took a few classes to get the hang of things, but I was constantly being complimented on my technique when I was just flowing through the steps. It was something that just came naturally to me.

I was surprised because when I started high school I went through a major stint of depression where I completely disconnected from every aspect of life, and even though I got out of it, I never really felt connected on a physical level other than extreme pain.

As I slowly but surely began gaining weight, it affected not only my health, but my relationship. As much as my ex thought he was encouraging me, all he did was make me feel horrible about myself which only caused the cycle to continue. The ways that he enjoy exercising just did not appeal to me, which frustrated him, frustrated me, and only added to the problem.

When I was dancing, as much as I loved it, there was always a small part of me that was self-conscious about the way my body was moving, and how it looked while it was moving. There were moments when I was completely caught up in the dance and didn't care about it at all because I was connecting with a part of my soul that I didn't know existed.

When I have thought about getting in shape, and getting healthy, there has always been a block for me to do it, and as I have been writing this, I am now realizing that there are a couple of reasons.

1. I've been afraid of failing. I'm afraid of the looks I'll get from people while I am working out, I'm afraid of their judgement.

2. I've been afraid of what will happen if I loose the weight, but can't keep it off. It's easier just to maintain where I already am.

3. I've been afraid of not being able to loose the weight. If 'regular exercise' and a healthy diet don't do it, what will it take?

4. I've been afraid of not being attractive once I'm in better shape. It's been easy to justify not having someone in my life because of my weight. If I'm in good physical shape and I'm still not attractive, what does that say about me?

Seeing them listed in front of me is eye opening but it's also heartbreaking. While I feel somewhat relieved to have finally broken this thing down, I also feel a sense of shame because I realize how shallow these reasons are, especially the last.

I know that logically whoever I am with will love me and want to be with me because of who I am on the inside, and while I truly do believe that, it's hard to remember while I feel so negatively about myself on the outside.

While I consider myself a spiritual soul, I am also a very physical being. And I honestly believe that getting in touch with my body, and being brave and motivated to finally take those steps will only help to serve my highest good and my purpose.

In the honor of that, I am going to be implementing yoga and belly dancing into my daily routines. I'm doing to be doing some research on how best to get started, and I am hoping that I can start practicing the basics at home.

This was possibly one of the last deities I ever expected to come to me, let alone in such a profound way. Even though it has been almost two weeks since the initial interaction and I have continued to feel her presence and her energy. She has also popped up in several places since that time, only reinforcing her place in my life and in my spiritual work.

I had intended to use this posting to introduce her, and to share how I will be working with her, but I think this is what needed to be done in preparation of that. I'm so grateful for this journey, because it has taken me places I never thought I would go, or needed to go.

It's been almost two months since I started this journey again Through the Secret Door, and this series that started off with just a few simply posts has gown into the first tree I see planted in the garden of this sacred space.

I've taken my first step to surrendering to my purpose, and though I do not know what or how many steps lay before me, I know that will continue through with humility, free of fear, and knowing I have such an amazing goddess beside me, I feel as though I am ready to ride this wave to it's fullest extent.

Sending you light and love,

Thealynn

You can purchase this print from The Lovely Little Witch Etsy Shop.

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Whisperings of a Ghost

Good morning lovies,

Welcome to Part Seven of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!
 
Following pieces of this series will include ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditations

So without further ado!

This is very much an unexpected addition to my Open Heart series, but I believe it may be one of the most significant.

For those who are unaware, we are currently experiencing what we call Mercury Retrograde. This is a period of a few weeks in which Mercury appears to travel backwards on its axis. This is mostly observed by the pagan community as something to be weary of because it causes disruptions in communication, technology, seems to slow down the progress of projects and overall it can just feel like an unpleasant time.

However there are some positives that can come along with Mercury Retrograde that I discussed on my Facebook Page, so if you're curious follow the link. One thing that I will mention is that Mercury Retrograde can some times bring in people from your past wanting to reconnect.

Without spending too much time on details, suffice it to say that there is one side of the family that I have not had consistent contact with for the last 20 years. Some interaction here and there, but nothing terribly serious.

I’m guessing that between opening myself and my heart to the Universe for my highest good and Mercury being in retrograde is what helped the stars to align causing me to get a fairly abrupt message from one of my biological father’s sisters, being my aunt. She has said before how much she has wanted to get together over the last several months, but nothing has ever come of it.

After some seemingly convoluted conversations which really did turn out to be misunderstands, we had lunch last week. What started out as my aunt, uncle and myself turned into two of my other aunts from that same side joining us.

It was the first time in almost three years since I had seen any of them, and even longer since we had spent real time together. Over the course of lunch they asked me if I was interested in seeing my biological father whom I have not seen or spoken to in 20 years. Minus one painful denial of my existence at the mall when I was 15.

I thought for a moment and realized that I really have nothing to lose by doing so. That I have an amazing opportunity to help clear up some understandably made assumptions, to help provide healing and understanding, and forgiveness in the hopes that others will be able to start forgiving themselves.

I realize all too well how much I do not owe anyone anything, and I almost surprised myself at how much the thought didn’t enter my mind until way after I had made my decision.

I’ve been called to change my perspective, and to not miss the forest for the trees.

Even though my father was not around when I was growing up, even though he did some down right criminal acts, he really did the best thing for me by allowing me to be adopted by another man whom I love as my father and staying out of my life. I was able to become the person I am because he let me go. In that one simple yet heart breaking act, he put his children, including me first. And I love him for that.

As I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to share this right away or to wait, I heard a frog croaking outside. I'd been house sitting for almost a week, and this was the first time I have heard a frog, and not just during this visit, but EVER as I am a frequent visitor.

I heard it only a handful of times, but I felt instantly called to pull out the copy of Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up frog medicine. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I won't go into that much here as I really could write an entire blog post on frog medicine and the connection that I have to it.

This is was the confirmation from the Universe that I am going to play a crucial role in helping to heal my father’s heart. I know full well and accept that the real healing will have to come from him, and that it will have to be his choice. But I will be the doorway for him, I will be the one to help him understand and put pieces together. I will be able to answer questions that he has never had the answers to.

I realize that it might sound like a burden, or some form of family obligation. But I see it as an immense privilege, as an incredible opportunity. I don’t feel as though I am walking into a situation that I am unprepared for, or am somehow fulfilling a family duty.

I am approaching this as a daughter to her father, expressing gratitude and forgiveness that is long overdue. Even though I believed this to be a closed door, and I felt like I had as much closure as I was going to get, I feel that this is the chance I never thought I would have,

As I said before, I do have a loving father in my life, and I know that I would not be the person that I am without him. But I see something so beautiful in at least attempting to heal this relationship. Not that I believe in putting all of the blame for my 'heart troubles' but I do see the loss of my father as the first heart break of my life.

I was a small child when everything happened but I still carry memories and scars from the events leading up to, during and after the divorce. These are scars that are so old and buried so deep that most times I forget that they are there. And I would argue that they do not affect my daily life.

But in those short hours that I spent with my aunts I learned more about my father then I ever knew before. There are a few things that we share, and it's already answered some questions I didn't know that I had.

I had a friend ask me why I was doing this, and I did not want to go into the spiritual reasons behind my decision, so I thought about it for quite some time. And it only occurred to me as I was writing this how much I owe this to myself. I've denied myself this chance in the past, but I knew then and I reaffirm now that I wasn't ready before, but I know that I am now.

I can't say that I expect us to be a happy family again, I can't say that I expect anything really. I think if I were to do so it would ruin the integrity of the event. I might not be that little girl in sundresses any more, but I am still his child, and that is how I am going into our phone call this afternoon.

Even if this ends up not going anywhere, if one of both of us decide that it's not working, at least we can say that we tried, which is more then I've ever had before.

As I wait hour the hours I am not focusing so much on what we will talk about, I only set the intention that it will be what we both need.

Sending you light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

When Guides Come Knocking

Hello lovies,

Welcome to Part Five of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journey of how, why, and how to!
 
Following pieces of this series will include some meditations that I find helpful, ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why

So without further ado!


Prior to getting into the meditation, I'm going to provide a bit of context. That's right folks, we are jumping right in today! Whoohoo!! (You're still in for a long post, I warned you yesterday.)

Several months ago, I made a seemingly immediate and strong connection with someone. We had a brief encounter and continued to talk intermittently but nothing significant changed. Despite being perfectly content in my single life, I couldn't shake the connection we had made. I ended up with a fairly intense infatuation which I found quiet irritating. I knew nothing was going to develop between us, but that didn't seem to matter.

I was venting my frustration to one of my good friends and she suggested to me that, "Maybe your chakras were just wide open when you got together, and now he's just under your skin."

As previously stated, I am not well versed in charka work, so I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but it sounded right. I decided the only thing to do was to wait it out, let whatever was going on with me run it's course and then I would be done with it. A few weeks later I felt like nothing had changed, so I opted to do a reading for myself to hopefully gain some insight on what I should be doing.

I ended up doing a series of five readings. Not all about the same thing mind you, and not even with the same deck. Doing so many readings in a row is not something that I would recommend simply because messages can get muddled and distorted and boy howdy is it draining. When I sat down to read I had no intention of doing so many, I just let my intuition guide me.

There was one resounding theme in every one of the readings I did-meditate, consult your guides. If that's not enough of a sign then I don't know what is. I did not do this right away as I was getting ready for finals, plus my energy was not focused, it was all over the place.

When I was in a place where I felt like I had enough energy to really commit to it, I decided that I had not Journeyed in a while and figured that would be the best way to do so. When I talk about Journeying, I am referring to the Shamanic practice as I was trained in 2011.

I set my music, took a few deep breaths and spent a good ten minutes trying to hone my focus. Let me tell you, it was just not happening. I began to get frustrated because I had never experienced resistance in the past, and I wasn't quiet sure what to do about it.

It occurred to me that perhaps I simply wasn't grounded enough, and that perhaps doing a quick grounding meditation would be helpful. As I was preparing myself for that I just felt that either I was going to meditate or I was going to Journey. My solution to the dilemma was to use some grounding crystals and try to Journey again.

I went to my desk that also serves as my alter space and reached in blindly for my crystals, trusting that I would know them by touch. I had a mind to use Hematite, or Tiger's Eye which I mentioned in my last post. I would have even been happy with my Tree Root Agate, I ended up with White Howlite and Emerald. I felt a resistance in my body when I went to put them back, clearly these were the ones I was meant to use.

Before settling down again I put on my wolf pendant that I always wear when I meditate or do Journey work, I feel that it creates a link back to the physical plane, and I always feel a great sense of protection when I wear it. You can see a photo of it here. I was also wearing my rose quartz point.

When I meditate with crystals, I usually cross my legs and rest my closed palms on my knees. I didn't do that this time, with a stone in each hand I rested my hands together with my palms facing each other. After just a few breaths I could feel the energies of the crystals working together and creating a kind of helix around me, and I although I couldn't see in my mind's eye where I was or where I was going, I could feel movement. When the feeling settled I felt myself looking around, but still not seeing anything, I called out,

"Hello, is someone there?" I heard a soft chuckle and felt a very warm and feminine presence.

"Oh, my daughter, you grow more beautiful every time I see you." I felt a kiss on each cheek and a smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognize your voice." Still in a state of darkness and not wanting to be rude, I attempted to find out her identity.

"What matters is that you called, and I am the One Who Answers." I nodded, only an idiot would argue with that.

We discussed the readings, and the underlining tones of a romance, she spoke to me in a way that was somewhere between a loving parent and a best girlfriend. I expressed her how I hadn't been able to shake the familiarity I felt and more so the fact that he had felt it too. How I felt stuck between trying not to get any kind of hope up, and at the same time acknowledging how important it was being in a place where in fact, I was trying not to get any kind of hope up. I even felt bold enough to ask her if there was a chance that this was not the first life that we had crossed paths. She laughed, and it sounded like music.

"Oh my dear, you'll find that most men you feel drawn to have an air of familiarity. There is a reason they seek you out in this life." I didn't feel the need to inquire further, that in and of itself was enough to consider. By the time our conversation was drawing to a close I could see the sun on the horizon and that we were on a warm beach. The tide was gently coming in as if the ocean itself was slowly waking up. I was finally able to see my guide; she was an unnaturally beautiful woman with creamy skin, golden hair and hazel eyes, wearing what appeared to be a white and sky blue toga inspired dress.

It occurred to me somewhere in the back of my mind that I might be receiving counseling from Aphrodite, but thought it unlikely. Rather than ask again, I thanked her for her guidance. With one last smile she transformed into a dove, and flew away. I stayed for a moment to allow her message to sink in a bit more and to enjoy the warmth of the sand under my bare feet. As I was about to bring myself back, I heard a voice ringing out to me,

"Don't break the connection." So I waited. A series of heart beats passed me by and I was in a forest clearing. Hearing a noise behind me I slowly turned around, there was a black bodied centaur across the clearing. I could feel my breath catch in my throat; I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had a psychic reading done a month or so prior to this and during the reading I was told that one of my spirit guides was centaur. While it resonated with me, I hadn't interacted with this guide up until this point.

When the reader originally described the vision to me, he said that when he first saw my guide, its back was facing him, just as it was with me.

"Are you...?" When she turned to face me, she had a very knowledgeable and patient face.

"Oh yes, it's me. I've been waiting for you." I was flabbergasted. It had been some time since I had worked so openly with a new guide, and now I was two for two. "Well, don't be shy girl, come closer."

I did as she instructed, hesitant at first. She gave me a small soft smile plainly sensing my uncertainty. I returned the gesture and confidence replace the hesitation. We spoke of patience, of stubbornness, of a determined spirit. She spoke to me about my heart, and the way I view the world. Without much thought as to how, I found myself on her back.

"Try seeing things the way I see them. I will always have a wider perspective then you simply because of what I am, but you can learn to observe from my point of view. I know that your patience has been worn thin, and that you have begun to feel the energy of your mate, but patience is key. You are of the Earth, as am I. It is our greatest strength, harness it, do not fear it. To do so would mean that you fear yourself."

As I sat on her back I felt a complete sense of calm, I felt grounded, and strong. I tried to do as she instructed, starting simply by noticing how different the forest looked with only a few feet off of the ground. 

"As tempting as it is, remember this, do not miss the forest for the trees." She turned her head to look at me, her eyes piercing and wise. "When you feel yourself struggling, call to me. I will send you strength and revive your spirit." I nodded silently, trying to take everything in as it was, not wanting to forget a single detail.

In the midst of it all though, I felt something else. I could feel another energy approaching, this time masculine. I dismounted as the energy was too familiar for me not to feel certain I knew who approached. Through the brush a wolf appeared, but it wasn't the wolf I was expecting. Rather than a white wolf or grey wolf as I was used to seeing, this wolf was black. Unsure of what to make of this I looked over to my guide for reassurance but she was far off. Still within my sight but she was making it clear that I was on my own for this one.

Then I remembered another detail that the reader shared with me. During the reading he saw my guide standing next to a black wolf, but the wolf was not a representation of my guide, it was a representation of my partner for this life. As I turned back to the wolf, it began to change, and took the shape of a man. There were no discernible features that I could make out, it was if his shadow had come in his place.

I stood there in complete shock, at a complete loss for words-what the hell was happening?! Never before had another's energy or guide entered my meditation. This was an invite only kind of gathering, and I did not send out invitations.

 "I don't understand..." The shadow seemed to chuckle. I looked back to my guide again hoping that maybe she would explain, this time the wolf was with her, standing side by side just like the reader had described.

"I'm sorry for surprising you, I honestly don't expect to get away with this a second time." The shadow's voice was deep and kind. Looking back in his direction I was still trying to wrap my head around what was taking place. He had moved and was now standing before me, taking my hands in his.

"You don't have to say anything, I'm sure this was the last thing you were expecting." It must have been reflex, why I looked into what would have been his face, and somehow without any indication of facial features, I could sense that his expression was filled with the utmost tenderness.

"Now, I know you've told this to yourself before, because I suspect you'll end up saying it to me when we finally do meet." Raising his hand he tucked some hair behind my ear, his would-be eyes intent on me.

"You know deep in your heart that you are not ready for me to be with you. Just as much as you know that you are not ready to be with me. We still have growing to do, self-discoveries that can only be done apart and because of that they are only going to make us appreciate each other and ourselves that much more." He took a moment to sigh and look at me, (if you can call it looking) as if his subconscious were trying to memorize me so that way I would be easier to find later on.

"I wish I could convey to you how much I know that I already love you. I want nothing more than to show you how precious you are to me. But if we were to meet tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to do that. The man I am right now would run away from you so fast because the man I am right now doesn't know how to appreciate someone as wondrous as you. You deserve the very best that I can possibly give, and the man before you now, well. Not only does he not have the foggiest idea of how to do that, but he's also too selfish."

Despite myself I started to laugh, by this point all I could do was just let whatever was going to happen, happen. Regardless of whether my higher self was doing this to prove a point, or my future partner really had found his way to me, I needed to hear it. Somewhere in the midst of everything it occurred to me that I had become a shadow form too. I hadn't realized up until that point of how connected I felt to this being, so much so that I felt engulfed by his presence. I felt warm and safe, it felt familiar and strange and new all at once.

"I know that I have no right asking anything of you, so I'll put it this way instead. Let us both agree to give ourselves our best chance; let us continue to focus on ourselves, whatever comes our way. It's the best thing we can do for ourselves, and each other." His voice carried resolved, but it sounded hard earned.

I was silent for a moment, feeling a slight struggle within myself. Being as deep into my meditation as I suspected I must have been, I decided to save any debates that were waiting for me until after I was back and grounded. I can only assume that my silence was taken as an agreement, because he spoke again.

"If nothing else I say is remembered, please just know that I am getting to you as fast as I can. My daily conscious may not know it yet, but the part of me that is here with you now, wants to spend every possible day with you." I took a breath and a step back, but did not let go of his hands, suddenly afraid that I might find myself lost in this magical place where a soul's heart could reach me.

For a moment I tried to decipher if the presence before me really was a manifestation of his soul reaching out to me, or if my higher self was feeling particularly elaborate that day. After a moment of studying the shadow man before me I came to the conclusion that it did not really matter. The message itself was the important thing, and I reconciled that as much as I wanted us to be ready for each other, that simply wasn't the case.

I could feel my physical shape starting to return, but before I lost the shadowy essence that so perfectly connected the two of us, I closed my eyes and let my inner light encircle my being. Opening my eyes, I could see he was still dark as night, but I was a shimmering white. While we were connected by our inner essence, we were separate individuals.

"Hopefully this will serve as a reminder." I'm not sure if saying so was more for my benefit or his, but I thought I should at least say something. With reluctance I released his hands and turned to go, making a doorway which opened to a winding staircase that would bring me back down.

"You realize that I'll be able to find you that way. When we meet again, I'll notice that white light around you."

Looking over my shoulder it appeared as though a hand rested in his pocket.  Smiling I answered, "Well, it's not really for you, is it?"

He chuckled, "No, it's all for you."

...

After I came out of my meditation I had to just sit for a while and breath, trying to memorize everything that my guides told me, trying to memorize the whole experience really. Then I remembered the stones, so of course I had to remind myself of their properties. I have a little journal I keep with all of the stones in my possession as well as some brief notes about each one.

White Howlite helps with awareness. It can prepare the user or wearer to receive wisdom from the Higher Self and the Divine.

That was enough to rock my socks off. I was filled with this impending, 'This is the mother load' feeling as I flipped through the pages of my journal.

Emerald was thought to preserve love, as well as being a long time symbol of hope. It is considered by many to be the stone of prophecy. For some the emerald acts as a tranquilizer for a troubled mind.

Never before had my intuition so clearly guided me. There was still one thing I was curious about. Only once before has such a specific deity come to me, so I searched for goddesses associated with doves.

The first result I came across was a blog post talking about Aphrodite and her connection to doves. I decided to dig a little be more and found that Emerald is considered the stone of Aphrodite. My jaw dropped, I had no clue prior to any of this about those connections. My mind was officially blown.

This meditative experience is something that I am going to remember for the rest of my life. It was such a profound experience for me, so much so that I don't expect it to happen again. I am certainly open to it don't get me wrong, but meditation, whether to clear your mind or to reach out to your guides is about being open to what they have for you. I wasn't sure what I was going to get or who was going to be there (clearly!) but I trusted in the Universe, and I trusted in my guides. That is how meditations should be.

I hope that you have been enjoying the Open Heart Series so far, as there is more to come! Next I'll be sharing a few different techniques for meditating, some tips on how I've connected with my guides and how you can connect with yours.

Sending you light and love as always until next time,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn