Hey there lovelies,
A couple of weeks back I shared my second book review, and was prepared and ready to sit down and write my article on Samhain just like I have for the last few holidays, and as you can see, I did not.
In the end I felt called to spend the day quietly with my boyfriend, reflecting and embracing the changes that have come my way, the difficulties of the earlier part of the year, and how I intended to spend the remainder of the calendar year.
At the beginning of this year I was excited and motivated, and determined that 2015 would be my year. It has definitely been on of the most difficult years of my short life, admittedly a lot of the struggles I faced were self made, and thus the majority of this year has been about taking responsibility and finding ways to regroup, amend, and move forward.
These are subjects that I have spoken of in the past, and I suspect that the journey is just beginning. Three and a half years ago my world collapsed and I was forced to start fresh. It was a necessary trial and I wouldn't necessarily say I'm grateful for the pain that was endured, but it did place me in a position to begin working through the negativity and way of life that kept me frozen; chained to those around me. I had built my life around people, and once they were gone I didn't remember what life was like before them.
This past year held a similar lesson. This past year has been a challenge to face certain truths about myself, and learning how I possess all the power I could ever need to live any kind of life I choose.
The struggles, the mistakes, the hiding away-they were all conscious decisions I made because I believed myself too weak to choose better for myself.
Maintaining this mentality that I have complete control over my life, that I choose everything about this life is not an easy task, and in fact it's painful some times-but it's always temporary.
I've made jokes in the past about faith being a crutch, about how if I had known how difficult it can be to believe this way, how I might have chosen differently.
But what I have come to realize it that the pain, the uncertainty, and the self doubt are really just growing pains.
Per tradition, I meditated on Samhain and traveled to ancient Greece to meet with Hecate, goddess of the Crossroads and Gate Keeper to the Underworld.
During this meeting she showed me the various crossroads of my life and how for the most part, I had chosen to walk blindly or simply not taken the time to consider my direction. She then took me to the current crossroad before me and left me with a single torch to light my way.
After some consideration I made my choice and walked along the path for some time before coming to what appeared to be a door. Sitting a few feet ahead of the door stood a black dog, a messenger from the goddess. I knelt down to eye level with the dog and reached out my hand but before I could touch it, the dog turned and and ran through the door just as a ghost might pass through a wall. I stood back up unsure of how to proceed. It was then that I felt something cold on my chest and looked down to find a simple skeleton key tied to a ribbon around my neck. Looking back to the door I took a step forward and another until I too passed through the door without so much as looking for a knob or handle.
On the other side of the door she stood, her helper by her side. She explained to me how I have always held the key to my hearts desires and simple had to decide to go after them, regardless of what might lie in front of me. She pointed behind me and when I followed her gaze, the door was gone as if it never was.
The door was a symbol for all of the road blocks we create for ourselves because we're afraid of what the other side might look like.
If you've been with me for any amount of time, then you know that fear is something that I have struggled with releasing for a long time.
I used to get really down on myself for being and doing all of the things that I knew stood in my way-for standing in my own way.
But I've been learning how to be proud, and to be grateful for the progress I've made, because I have made progress. I have not stopped growing, I have not stopped learning, and in that process, I have learned to be grateful. Truly grateful.
As we head into the dark time of the year, our ancestors would turn inward; not just physically but magically also. In the past few months I have been focusing on the phases of the moon, and how best to work with the energy of each phase.
I have done so much shadow work, so much release and now I think it is time for me to focus on healing and manifesting my gratitude. I will also spend this time examining how I wish to grow and what I would like to perhaps incorporate into my path.
I hope that Samhain was spent in good company, in the physical realm as well as spiritual. May the God and Goddess keep you and yours during this dark time of year until the Sun's great rebirth at Yule.
Sending you and yours light and love,
Thealynn
Showing posts with label Mediations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mediations. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Saturday, December 6, 2014
When One Door Closes
Oh my gosh, there is so much I want to say, and share, and express! I want to jump and laugh and scream and dance! I am filled with so much energy and light that I can barely type! (Trying to eat at the same time doesn't help either. Teehee.)
I'll be mentioning several things in this post, links will be included if you want to check anything out for yourself. I realize that this post might seem a little scattered, and I promise that I will clear up the mysteries, but for now I just feel that it is important to get this out!
I just finished up my first monthly ritual with the wonderful members of Sage Goddess. I won't get into all of the details in this posting because I would never go to sleep if I attempted that, and any readers probably wouldn't either if they attempted to read the whole thing-SO! In the interest of trying to keep things cohesive, I'll do my best to sticking with the highlights.
A couple of weeks before Samhain, I felt a strong calling from some of the 'darker goddesses' Morgan and Hecate to turn in and start working on sweeping out the cobwebs of my shadow self, and confront what I found there. At first the idea really freaked me out because, hello! I leave my shadow self alone for a reason! But as I felt my world starting to shift once again, I realized that the best thing I could do for myself was to do as directed.
I certainly did not jump in mind you, we've got three months in the darkest part of the year, which to me means that I have three months to work on not only figuring out how to approach my shadow self, but to also work on my shadow self.
Samhain came and went, and before I knew it, it was only a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving. Rather than spending one day being thankful, I spent one week posting once a day about something in my life I was grateful for. The major thing that I wanted to express gratitude for, was all of the people who have been in my life, regardless of the impact they made-good or bad.
Doing so allowed me to sort of hone in on the other side of that coin, which helped me to connect with my shadow self. Now, I knew that the December ritual through Sage Goddess was coming up because I'd been a part of the Facebook page for several months. I had never done a ritual with Sage Goddess before, but this month seemed different. The theme for this month was on Inner Peace, and the ritual was to take place on the night of the full moon. The ideal time to RELEASE all of the things that no longer serve us.
Originally I did not intend to take part in the ritual, but as we got closer to the date, and the more work I was doing with my spirit, I began to realize how much I would benefit from participating.
Part of what I had done the day before was purchase an ebook of Your Shinning Year work book from Leonie Dawson. I was inspired to take the plunge from a plucky Youtuber that I had been subscribed to for a couple of years. She had mentioned it before in years past, and has been able to drastically turn her life towards the positive by using the work book.
With all of the work I was going for myself and with myself I slowly began to feel that 2015 was going to be my greatest year yet. But in order to make that happen, I had to be serious about the changes I was going to make, and the number one way I was going to do that, was to face the biggest obstacle that I had been avoiding.
Which was fear.
It took me a little while to fully understand which was frustrating, but accepting the truth about how long I had been living with fear was heartbreaking. I was determined to use that to motivate my desire for change.
I made vows to myself that 2014 would be the last year of fear. While I was careful to not discredit or to lessen the value of the progress that I have made in these last couple of years, I also felt called to truly face my fear.
WHAT A HUGE STEP FOR ME.
I felt myself moving forward and slowly releasing things that I didn't even know that I was still holding on to, and in that process I also began to release things that I'd had a death grip on. It wasn't long before I decided that by the end of 2014 I wanted to forgive each and every person who had caused me hurt, and that I was going to forgive myself for all of the hurt that I have caused.
ANOTHER HUGE STEP!
With all of these goals moving forward, and being completed, I finally felt the walls and resistance breaking to deal with the number one thing that caused fear in my life. Not only did I face it, I asked for help in conquering it.
SHE DID WHAT????
I don't want to spend too much time on this, but I will say that I am a Capricorn, and while I am possibly one of the most laid back Capricorns I have ever met-I still have pride. Which is what is at the core of my shadow self.
Doing each and every one of these things at my own pace, and doing it solely for myself has been such an amazing, and terrifying experience, I almost feel woozy because of the energy I feel, and how much weight that has been lifted!
I kind of wonder if Air signs feel like they're always floating...I honestly feel like I'm a couple of days away from Marry Poppins-ing it.
Fast forward to the Full Moon Ritual. I gathered what I felt I needed for the ritual. Candles, stones, sage, incense, I put on my pentacle and signet ring, and I was ready to go! There were several parts of the hour we spent together, one of which was a guided meditation. After the ritual I shared part of my experience on the Facebook page, and thought it would be easiest to just bring part of that here:
It's as if my heart and spirit are purging all of the old hurt and washing away the rot of old wounds. It's a process that will in and of itself take some time, but by the time the new moon comes around, I will be ready to receive blessings and be prepared to welcome the new beginnings awaiting me.
I am overjoyed, and excited for this to be a part of my fresh start. Writing is a soul purpose for me, and I am almost ready to cry again because of how happy I am finding this passion again.
Now, I have previous posts here that I am purposefully leaving up because they do have value as part of my previous journeys on this path, and I don't want to get rid of them just yet. I am going to need to decided if I want to keep this blog the way it is, or start a brand new one.
My intention when I started a spiritual blog was to help record my experiences with the full intention of sharing them with others, but I don't think I was fully ready yet, I was searching for definitions in my path and not so much focused on just walking it.
I titled it the way I did feeling secretive about my journey and wanting to keep it hush hush. Well, if my soul's purpose is anything like what I mentioned above, that won't do. Whether I make a whole new blog, or recycle this one, I will be naming it Sacred Steps on a Sacred Journey.
I would write more here, but I have a solo ritual that I would like to get done. Being a full time student means that I have finals coming up also, which means I need to STUDY!
As I said before, links will be below, and I will try to post again in the next couple of days. If things keep manifesting I might not have a choice!
In love and light,
Thealynn
I'll be mentioning several things in this post, links will be included if you want to check anything out for yourself. I realize that this post might seem a little scattered, and I promise that I will clear up the mysteries, but for now I just feel that it is important to get this out!
I just finished up my first monthly ritual with the wonderful members of Sage Goddess. I won't get into all of the details in this posting because I would never go to sleep if I attempted that, and any readers probably wouldn't either if they attempted to read the whole thing-SO! In the interest of trying to keep things cohesive, I'll do my best to sticking with the highlights.
A couple of weeks before Samhain, I felt a strong calling from some of the 'darker goddesses' Morgan and Hecate to turn in and start working on sweeping out the cobwebs of my shadow self, and confront what I found there. At first the idea really freaked me out because, hello! I leave my shadow self alone for a reason! But as I felt my world starting to shift once again, I realized that the best thing I could do for myself was to do as directed.
I certainly did not jump in mind you, we've got three months in the darkest part of the year, which to me means that I have three months to work on not only figuring out how to approach my shadow self, but to also work on my shadow self.
Samhain came and went, and before I knew it, it was only a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving. Rather than spending one day being thankful, I spent one week posting once a day about something in my life I was grateful for. The major thing that I wanted to express gratitude for, was all of the people who have been in my life, regardless of the impact they made-good or bad.
Doing so allowed me to sort of hone in on the other side of that coin, which helped me to connect with my shadow self. Now, I knew that the December ritual through Sage Goddess was coming up because I'd been a part of the Facebook page for several months. I had never done a ritual with Sage Goddess before, but this month seemed different. The theme for this month was on Inner Peace, and the ritual was to take place on the night of the full moon. The ideal time to RELEASE all of the things that no longer serve us.
Originally I did not intend to take part in the ritual, but as we got closer to the date, and the more work I was doing with my spirit, I began to realize how much I would benefit from participating.
Part of what I had done the day before was purchase an ebook of Your Shinning Year work book from Leonie Dawson. I was inspired to take the plunge from a plucky Youtuber that I had been subscribed to for a couple of years. She had mentioned it before in years past, and has been able to drastically turn her life towards the positive by using the work book.
With all of the work I was going for myself and with myself I slowly began to feel that 2015 was going to be my greatest year yet. But in order to make that happen, I had to be serious about the changes I was going to make, and the number one way I was going to do that, was to face the biggest obstacle that I had been avoiding.
Which was fear.
It took me a little while to fully understand which was frustrating, but accepting the truth about how long I had been living with fear was heartbreaking. I was determined to use that to motivate my desire for change.
I made vows to myself that 2014 would be the last year of fear. While I was careful to not discredit or to lessen the value of the progress that I have made in these last couple of years, I also felt called to truly face my fear.
WHAT A HUGE STEP FOR ME.
I felt myself moving forward and slowly releasing things that I didn't even know that I was still holding on to, and in that process I also began to release things that I'd had a death grip on. It wasn't long before I decided that by the end of 2014 I wanted to forgive each and every person who had caused me hurt, and that I was going to forgive myself for all of the hurt that I have caused.
ANOTHER HUGE STEP!
With all of these goals moving forward, and being completed, I finally felt the walls and resistance breaking to deal with the number one thing that caused fear in my life. Not only did I face it, I asked for help in conquering it.
SHE DID WHAT????
I don't want to spend too much time on this, but I will say that I am a Capricorn, and while I am possibly one of the most laid back Capricorns I have ever met-I still have pride. Which is what is at the core of my shadow self.
Doing each and every one of these things at my own pace, and doing it solely for myself has been such an amazing, and terrifying experience, I almost feel woozy because of the energy I feel, and how much weight that has been lifted!
I kind of wonder if Air signs feel like they're always floating...I honestly feel like I'm a couple of days away from Marry Poppins-ing it.
Fast forward to the Full Moon Ritual. I gathered what I felt I needed for the ritual. Candles, stones, sage, incense, I put on my pentacle and signet ring, and I was ready to go! There were several parts of the hour we spent together, one of which was a guided meditation. After the ritual I shared part of my experience on the Facebook page, and thought it would be easiest to just bring part of that here:
"I pulled several stones that I felt called to, and during the meditation, was called by my guides to release all but two, so I did. When I came around I looked to see what had stayed, it was a clear quartz point and my green moonstone-I started crying!
I have been working on my spirit so much these last several weeks, and to have such amazing confirmations and to feel all of the healing and love that I am surrounded by is so amazing.
For the last twelve years I have wobbled back and forth on whether I believed this in my heart, and after tonight I will never question it again. This is my soul's truth, my path and my future lies in educating people about the real truth in what and who we are (for me it's being a pagan), spreading tolerance, and helping those are need of guidance and healing."
With such a powerful experience I am filled to the brim with moonlight. I am not even outside, and I can feel the rays washing through me like the waves of the ocean when the tide is in, carrying away all of the negativity, regrets, resentment, anger, and fear.
I am overjoyed, and excited for this to be a part of my fresh start. Writing is a soul purpose for me, and I am almost ready to cry again because of how happy I am finding this passion again.
Now, I have previous posts here that I am purposefully leaving up because they do have value as part of my previous journeys on this path, and I don't want to get rid of them just yet. I am going to need to decided if I want to keep this blog the way it is, or start a brand new one.
My intention when I started a spiritual blog was to help record my experiences with the full intention of sharing them with others, but I don't think I was fully ready yet, I was searching for definitions in my path and not so much focused on just walking it.
I titled it the way I did feeling secretive about my journey and wanting to keep it hush hush. Well, if my soul's purpose is anything like what I mentioned above, that won't do. Whether I make a whole new blog, or recycle this one, I will be naming it Sacred Steps on a Sacred Journey.
I would write more here, but I have a solo ritual that I would like to get done. Being a full time student means that I have finals coming up also, which means I need to STUDY!
As I said before, links will be below, and I will try to post again in the next couple of days. If things keep manifesting I might not have a choice!
In love and light,
Thealynn
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