A Shot in the Dark

Hey there loves,

There has been a topic of conversation and study that has been at the forefront for me recently that I thought I might share with you. When it was first brought to my attention I didn't think it was something that I personally needed to work through and even thought that I had done all of the work that needed to be done in this particular area.

I can't say that this will be the last time I talk about this subject, because like most things in life and spirituality, it's ever evolving.

This is something that I have been curious about, have kind of wandered around but never getting too close, something I've had a pull towards for a long time but never really felt comfortable exploring and it can be reduced to one single word: Darkness.

Photo from joryfisher.com

Usually at this point is where people start becoming nervous and wondering what the hell I am going to say next and is it even worth hearing?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes. I am willing to wager that there are those who like me have struggled with deconstructing the demonization of darkness. I find more often than not that so many of us come to a path of spiritual freedom because we have fought for it through oppression, rejection, denial of worth, hypocrisy, and archaic beliefs.

I've spoken before about how I was raised in a Christian family, and how I have even spent different parts of my life attempting to swallow the blue pill only to come to find myself resentful at their attempts of conformity and their blindness when it came to the cavern separating fear and love.

By walking along this path of Spiritual freedom and embracing my inner voice I thought that to some extent there would be a blanket affect when it came to releasing the fear of the dark and the oogie boogies that might live there. But as I have developed more in my path and allowed myself to be more honest, I've realized how that wasn't quite true.

I might not be afraid of the dark any more, but that doesn't automatically translate to embracing the dark. From the time that I have spent attempting to learn and grow, what I have found to be the most consistent practice is to focus on the light, maintain a high vibration, focus solely on the positive.

Not to say that there is anything wrong with those things, aside to say that it's not entirely realistic. We are here to have a human experience, and that means facing challenges and hardships as often as we experience the things that bring us joy.

There also seems to be this preconception that the dark is something to avoid, that it holds less value than the light, when in fact the light and the dark need each other. Call it balance, two halves of a whole, yin and yang, any of these names are accurate.

Just as the Universe is everything including the dark and the light, so too do we possess both the light and the dark. We may have a tendency towards one or the other, but that doesn't justify completely shutting out the other side of ourselves.

What is becoming more and more apparent to me is that there are some of us that connect more easily to darker energies. And it really has nothing to do with not being able or not wanting to connect with more sunny or light deities, but rather that not everyone is going to mesh as well with one form of spirit to the next.

I also thought about the expression 'the Shadowself', I have written about it myself and am beginning to understand on a deeper level how the Shadowself is really the aspects of ourselves that perhaps take more effort to work with and appreciate, the parts of ourselves that we find more difficult to love; but that doesn't meant that we should completely ignore it.

Light and darkness cannot exist without the other, and in multiple creation stories it is described how before the light, there was darkness, and how the light is birthed from the darkness, just as we are. When we enter this world we are exiting a place of darkness, the womb. We come into a world of light that we have to adjust to and grow into.

I think we owe it to ourselves to explore and be willing to expand our understanding of what the dark really is. Even in pop culture we are still being fed that the dark is something to fear, something sinister, something to defeat, to conquer.

Like most spiritual endeavors it might not be the most comfortable, and it might take some time, but it's the journeys such as these that often hold the most value. It is when we step outside of our comfort zone that can bring us the most growth and in turn hold profound meaning to us, what's more it may turn out to be exactly what we've been looking for.

In the future I hope dive a bit deeper into this topic as there really is so much that can be discussed. For now I really just wanted to express the thoughts that have been accumulating, a bit of a starting place. Pieces and ideas to jump off of, perhaps even start some conversations.

I look forward to see where this journey goes, it feels like a long time coming.

Wishing you comfort and clarity,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Samhain Crossroads

Hey there lovelies,

 A couple of weeks back I shared my second book review, and was prepared and ready to sit down and write my article on Samhain just like I have for the last few holidays, and as you can see, I did not.

In the end I felt called to spend the day quietly with my boyfriend, reflecting and embracing the changes that have come my way, the difficulties of the earlier part of the year, and how I intended to spend the remainder of the calendar year.

At the beginning of this year I was excited and motivated, and determined that 2015 would be my year. It has definitely been on of the most difficult years of my short life, admittedly a lot of the struggles I faced were self made, and thus the majority of this year has been about taking responsibility and finding ways to regroup, amend, and move forward.

These are subjects that I have spoken of in the past, and I suspect that the journey is just beginning. Three and a half years ago my world collapsed and I was forced to start fresh. It was a necessary trial and I wouldn't necessarily say I'm grateful for the pain that was endured, but it did place me in a position to begin working through the negativity and way of life that kept me frozen; chained to those around me. I had built my life around people, and once they were gone I didn't remember what life was like before them.

This past year held a similar lesson. This past year has been a challenge to face certain truths about myself, and learning how I possess all the power I could ever need to live any kind of life I choose.

The struggles, the mistakes, the hiding away-they were all conscious decisions I made because I believed myself too weak to choose better for myself.

Maintaining this mentality that I have complete control over my life, that I choose everything about this life is not an easy task, and in fact it's painful some times-but it's always temporary.

I've made jokes in the past about faith being a crutch, about how if I had known how difficult it can be to believe this way, how I might have chosen differently.

But what I have come to realize it that the pain, the uncertainty, and the self doubt are really just growing pains.

Per tradition, I meditated on Samhain and traveled to ancient Greece to meet with Hecate, goddess of the Crossroads and Gate Keeper to the Underworld.

During this meeting she showed me the various crossroads of my life and how for the most part, I had chosen to walk blindly or simply not taken the time to consider my direction. She then took me to the current crossroad before me and left me with a single torch to light my way.

After some consideration I made my choice and walked along the path for some time before coming to what appeared to be a door. Sitting a few feet ahead of the door stood a black dog, a messenger from the goddess. I knelt down to eye level with the dog and reached out my hand but before I could touch it, the dog turned and and ran through the door just as a ghost might pass through a wall. I stood back up unsure of how to proceed. It was then that I felt something cold on my chest and looked down to find a simple skeleton key tied to a ribbon around my neck. Looking back to the door I took a step forward and another until I too passed through the door without so much as looking for a knob or handle.

On the other side of the door she stood, her helper by her side. She explained to me how I have always held the key to my hearts desires and simple had to decide to go after them, regardless of what might lie in front of me. She pointed behind me and when I followed her gaze, the door was gone as if it never was.

The door was a symbol for all of the road blocks we create for ourselves because we're afraid of what the other side might look like.

If you've been with me for any amount of time, then you know that fear is something that I have struggled with releasing for a long time.

I used to get really down on myself for being and doing all of the things that I knew stood in my way-for standing in my own way.

But I've been learning how to be proud, and to be grateful for the progress I've made, because I have made progress. I have not stopped growing, I have not stopped learning, and in that process, I have learned to be grateful. Truly grateful.

As we head into the dark time of the year, our ancestors would turn inward; not just physically but magically also. In the past few months I have been focusing on the phases of the moon, and how best to work with the energy of each phase.

I have done so much shadow work, so much release and now I think it is time for me to focus on healing and manifesting my gratitude. I will also spend this time examining how I wish to grow and what I would like to perhaps incorporate into my path.

I hope that Samhain was spent in good company, in the physical realm as well as spiritual. May the God and Goddess keep you and yours during this dark time of year until the Sun's great rebirth at Yule.

Sending you and yours light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

A Truly Open Heart

Hey there lovies,

I've been incredibly fortunate to be a part of some truly amazing experiences these last few weeks. Quite frankly I never expected to have the privilege of being a participant in helping and connecting with and I would be so bold as to say, inspiring as many individuals as I have these last couple of months.

The opportunities that have been given to me since I have made this move have been numerous, but one that I never thought I would have is the opportunity to have full closure and to say goodbye to the first real love of my life.

This person has been everything to me; friend, confidant, lover, counselor, supporter and every nook and cranny that falls in between. They've also been responsible for causing a great deal of pain, disappointment, anger, frustration and confusion.

But to be honest, I can't imagine a first love being any different. I can't fathom that anyone else would hold such sway, who could so gently hold another's heart and be so careless with it in one stroke.

I've written before about my thoughts on love, and it's not terribly surprising that only a few short months later, finding myself with a different perspective on it. When I look back at myself the last time I wrote about love, I was trying to reconcile with the idea, I was trying to make myself believe that...love just is.

I don't think you choose when you love someone, I think to some extent it just happens on its own. Love is the greatest force I have ever encountered; it contains every positive and negative elements that is conceivable.

Because while it possesses all of the infinite wonder and possibility that we all look for and desire, but doing so, it leaves us open to all of the damage that can be caused because of it. It leaves us vulnerable to all of the disasters, but it also requires us to be open to the miracles that can take place.

This path that I am on, not only for myself but for the purpose I believe with all my heart that I am here to accomplish, has asked me to question everything about the way I used to do things, the perspectives I've held, the people I surround myself with.

I have been asked to be open, to be flexible, to be patient and understanding, to be brave and courageous, to trust. There have been times when my ego has held up its hands and said, "Whoa! Slow you're roll there, I'm only human. Mere mortal right here, let's not get carried away here."

All of those things are essential to any kind of growth, all of those things are necessary for success.

When I started this journey, which there have been several 'starting over points' I never expected to be asked to change myself as much as I find myself changing. It's a bit overwhelming some times.

I don't think you choose when you love someone, but I think you can choose when to stop loving someone. I fell in love with this person despite every effort not to, because I knew in my soul, in my heart of hearts that this was not it for me. Not this time.

I have loved this individual with my whole heart, soul, being and there is a part of me that sincerely wishes that things could be different. As difficult as it is though, I have to remind myself that I don't truly believe that I'm it for them either.

The two of us have spent so much time together, have shared so much and have grown so much together, as a couple, as friends. There's been a part of my heart that has held steadfast to them because I remember all too well what that was like, and how it made me feel.

But I'm slowly coming to the realization that, the best thing we can do for each other and for ourselves is to let that love go. It was beautiful, and special, and brought me a life that I never thought I was capable of having. I've been slow to accept that there is someone else who will love and cherish me, and fulfill me in every way, and I for them-in this direction that I am heading, this path and purpose for this life.

And I believe wholeheartedly that there is someone out there for them too, who can connect and care for them in ways that I simply cannot.

I will always treasure them, and I sincerely hope that they will always be a good friend of mine. But now is the time to say goodbye, and to release that love and set the intention for them that when the time is right, they find their soulmate.

I can feel my own approaching, which strangely, doesn't make this easier. But knowing that there is genuine happiness outside of this person does. Knowing that there is genuine happiness out there for them makes it easier to let go, to say goodbye to them so that I can say hello to myself and my future.

Love is quite the mystery...

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Looking in an Honest Mirror

Hey there lovies,

It's been a little while since I've talked about some of the more personal, nonspiritual aspects of my life so I thought that I would give a little bit of an update. I get the feeling that there are a lot of people out there who are under the impression that because someone might take a spiritual approach to life that we do not face the same struggles as someone who takes a more 'traditional religious' road or even a path free of any form of faith. Or that because of our perspective that we are able to maintain that perspective at all times and that we don't ever face times of doubt.

Both of which are untrue.

While all of the work that was done during my Open Heart series and all of the progress was made, which was surprisingly successful, there is still a lot of work to be done. I have mentioned in previous posts touching briefly on certain aspects of my shadowself that are particularly difficult to deal with when they make themselves known.

I was having a recent conversation with a close friend of mine about the struggles I've been facing recently, and they asked me if I had been maintaining my practice, and I admitted that I had been shying away from it a bit because of how I worry about infusing my practice with negativity.

Which I realize might sound silly, because one of the main reasons people turn to their faith of choice when they are struggling. In fact when I began walking this path again almost three years ago it was because I was facing a major crisis and desperately felt like I needed something to hold on to, something to serve as an anchor.

Now being as immersed as I am and as dedicated as I want to be, it fills me with no end of guilt that I am afraid of what I might be confronted with by working too closely with my guides; which stems from being worried about not being able to handle what is happening in other aspects of my life.

I've slowly been working on releasing the reins of control and being content with doing my best. I've been told that this is not uncommon but I have a tendency to hold myself to higher standards than I hold everyone else which often leads to me stressing and psyching myself out over 'not doing enough' or 'not doing well enough' when in reality I am doing just fine.

I also have a nasty habit of reliving conversations or events that hold a lot of negative feelings, perpetuating negative cycles. I also have the tendency to compartmentalize issues to the point where I literally forget about them, at least until they become a raging monster and infinitely more difficult to deal with.

There have been times in the past where things in my life have gotten so out of hand where it really feels like there is no way out-which is not true, no matter how difficult things seem.

It's occurred to me for some time that if I am really going to get a handle of things, on my life and live it the way I know it can be lived there are changes that must be made; figuring out how to make those choices in a way that they stick and are effective is a matter unto itself.

Earlier in the year I pulled a tarot card that would represent the theme of 2015 and it was a simple, yet loaded word: Choice.

Every day, every moment is a choice; even the seemingly most insignificant moments of our lives present us with a choice. Sometimes making those choices are more difficult than others, not acting, or responding are choices.

It's difficult to remember that some times, and some times we just don't feel like hearing it; we become desensitized to the sentiment.

While it's been something I know I have needed for quiet some time, I have done some research and reached out to a counselor for some professional assistance in getting my life on a healthier track and a better idea of what is causing my struggles so that I can deal with them on every aspect, not just a spiritual one.

I know that not everyone agrees one way or the other about any form of assistance or treatment, depending on where you're coming from. But just like I have said about working with guides, or with crystals and stones; you are the priority. Do what needs to be done for you.

This is something I feel confident about doing. I've always had an idea of what the root of my problems might have been, but I've never been entirely sure how to full identify or even fully heal. This is something I owe myself if I want to move forward and continue moving forward.

Am I scared?

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous about taking this step. I have no illusions about how difficult the work might be, but I do have hopes for what the results will look like. 

Light and love to you all dears,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Not An Ending But A Beginning

Hello lovies,

Welcome to Part Ten and the Final Installment of my Open Heart Series.

I'm sure that I have mentioned at least once before how I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting when I started this journey, where it would take me. I certainly did not expect it to grow into what is has become though I couldn't be happier with it.

Admittedly it's hard for me to know what to say here because well, I know that for me, the journey isn't over. It is something that I will continue possibly for the rest of my life, because once a heart is healed, what good is it if left unattended or locked away to prevent future damage? A closed heart is not a heart that can extend or receive love, and hasn't that been the whole point?

For the last several days I have been working on another writing project, that in time I am sure will make some sort of appearance here, but until that time I am keeping it a private matter.

Apart from that project the last time that I really wrote a piece for this blog was two weeks ago. I experienced a mini writing marathon where I wanted everything to be prepared to just publish on the correlating day and it has worked well, until now.

I became completely focused on the middle of this series, of this process that I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about the conclusion. When I originally started work on this series I anticipated using the experience of the latest full moon ritual to prepare me for this and in some ways it has.

The series itself did more for me in terms of healing, understanding, and opening up in more ways then I ever could have imagined.

Over the course of these past few weeks I have let go of so much hurt and resentment, I have learned how to open myself up in new ways, and I even connected with deity in a very profound way.

This journey may not be over, but I have the next step within my sight, which is truly a blessing in and of itself.

In light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Behind Door Number Three

Hey there lovies,

Welcome to Part Nine of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditiations
Whisperings of a Ghost 
Connecting with Your Guides

So without further ado!

There have been so many things that have transpired since I began this journey of my Open Heart series. I thought that reuniting with my father after twenty years would be the high light, but it turns out, the Universe had more in store for me.

Don't worry, I'll explain.

I am participating in sessions with a well versed spiritual teacher, along with many others, and during our most recent lesson a goddess' name was spoken and it sounded as if the name itself was ringing. Now, from time to time I will have random ringing or a high pitched note go off in my ears for varying amounts of time, and at first I thought that's what it was. As my teacher talked about part of our spiritual work and about the goddess herself, I felt myself slowly filling up and then slowly being surrounded by this energy.

I felt warm, empowered, creative and sexy. That last part really threw me for a loop, because there have been very few times that I have felt that way. Which I never really considered a bad thing, but when I was thinking about it a bit more and it made me...sad.

While I very much embrace the fact that I am an Earth sign, and am very much rooted in a physical world, I've never had much appreciated my own physical form. I've never considered myself particularly attractive, or fit, or even desirable.

There have been several years when I have told myself that I would get in shape, and I would change my eating habits and that I wanted to take better care of myself physically, I haven't done it. Not for extended periods of time anyway.

I never really gave  thought as to why it never stuck, or why I was never able to commit to it, and to be honest, the only thing that comes to mind is I am afraid of changing. Which sounds so silly when I put it that way, because there really are NO downsides to any of those goals. My ego comes into play though and reminds me of how gross I'll get working out, and how I'll be sore, and what about that asthma I've never been professionally diagnosed with?

While I have never been a particularly thin person, it's only been in the last five years that I've become overweight. Not dangerously so, but enough that any body issues I may have had before were magnified.

I was on the heavier side of the average for my age and height, and while I felt like my thighs were mountains, I was fine with the rest of my body. I certainly didn't love my body, but I didn't hate it either. Overall I just wasn't very excited about my whole self.

I've never liked too much physical activity because I felt like it only highlighted what I considered to be what I was physically lacking or I felt like I just was not good at whatever I was trying to do. I preferred to be stationary and write or read-not that that much has changed to be honest.

Last summer for one of my college classes I took ballroom dance, and I LOVED it. It's true that I was sore some days, and that we all certainly got sweaty due to lack of air conditioning in that part of the gym, but I had an absolute blast.

Before that class I always said how much I didn't think I could dance. And sure, it took a few classes to get the hang of things, but I was constantly being complimented on my technique when I was just flowing through the steps. It was something that just came naturally to me.

I was surprised because when I started high school I went through a major stint of depression where I completely disconnected from every aspect of life, and even though I got out of it, I never really felt connected on a physical level other than extreme pain.

As I slowly but surely began gaining weight, it affected not only my health, but my relationship. As much as my ex thought he was encouraging me, all he did was make me feel horrible about myself which only caused the cycle to continue. The ways that he enjoy exercising just did not appeal to me, which frustrated him, frustrated me, and only added to the problem.

When I was dancing, as much as I loved it, there was always a small part of me that was self-conscious about the way my body was moving, and how it looked while it was moving. There were moments when I was completely caught up in the dance and didn't care about it at all because I was connecting with a part of my soul that I didn't know existed.

When I have thought about getting in shape, and getting healthy, there has always been a block for me to do it, and as I have been writing this, I am now realizing that there are a couple of reasons.

1. I've been afraid of failing. I'm afraid of the looks I'll get from people while I am working out, I'm afraid of their judgement.

2. I've been afraid of what will happen if I loose the weight, but can't keep it off. It's easier just to maintain where I already am.

3. I've been afraid of not being able to loose the weight. If 'regular exercise' and a healthy diet don't do it, what will it take?

4. I've been afraid of not being attractive once I'm in better shape. It's been easy to justify not having someone in my life because of my weight. If I'm in good physical shape and I'm still not attractive, what does that say about me?

Seeing them listed in front of me is eye opening but it's also heartbreaking. While I feel somewhat relieved to have finally broken this thing down, I also feel a sense of shame because I realize how shallow these reasons are, especially the last.

I know that logically whoever I am with will love me and want to be with me because of who I am on the inside, and while I truly do believe that, it's hard to remember while I feel so negatively about myself on the outside.

While I consider myself a spiritual soul, I am also a very physical being. And I honestly believe that getting in touch with my body, and being brave and motivated to finally take those steps will only help to serve my highest good and my purpose.

In the honor of that, I am going to be implementing yoga and belly dancing into my daily routines. I'm doing to be doing some research on how best to get started, and I am hoping that I can start practicing the basics at home.

This was possibly one of the last deities I ever expected to come to me, let alone in such a profound way. Even though it has been almost two weeks since the initial interaction and I have continued to feel her presence and her energy. She has also popped up in several places since that time, only reinforcing her place in my life and in my spiritual work.

I had intended to use this posting to introduce her, and to share how I will be working with her, but I think this is what needed to be done in preparation of that. I'm so grateful for this journey, because it has taken me places I never thought I would go, or needed to go.

It's been almost two months since I started this journey again Through the Secret Door, and this series that started off with just a few simply posts has gown into the first tree I see planted in the garden of this sacred space.

I've taken my first step to surrendering to my purpose, and though I do not know what or how many steps lay before me, I know that will continue through with humility, free of fear, and knowing I have such an amazing goddess beside me, I feel as though I am ready to ride this wave to it's fullest extent.

Sending you light and love,

Thealynn

You can purchase this print from The Lovely Little Witch Etsy Shop.

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Whisperings of a Ghost

Good morning lovies,

Welcome to Part Seven of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!
 
Following pieces of this series will include ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditations

So without further ado!

This is very much an unexpected addition to my Open Heart series, but I believe it may be one of the most significant.

For those who are unaware, we are currently experiencing what we call Mercury Retrograde. This is a period of a few weeks in which Mercury appears to travel backwards on its axis. This is mostly observed by the pagan community as something to be weary of because it causes disruptions in communication, technology, seems to slow down the progress of projects and overall it can just feel like an unpleasant time.

However there are some positives that can come along with Mercury Retrograde that I discussed on my Facebook Page, so if you're curious follow the link. One thing that I will mention is that Mercury Retrograde can some times bring in people from your past wanting to reconnect.

Without spending too much time on details, suffice it to say that there is one side of the family that I have not had consistent contact with for the last 20 years. Some interaction here and there, but nothing terribly serious.

I’m guessing that between opening myself and my heart to the Universe for my highest good and Mercury being in retrograde is what helped the stars to align causing me to get a fairly abrupt message from one of my biological father’s sisters, being my aunt. She has said before how much she has wanted to get together over the last several months, but nothing has ever come of it.

After some seemingly convoluted conversations which really did turn out to be misunderstands, we had lunch last week. What started out as my aunt, uncle and myself turned into two of my other aunts from that same side joining us.

It was the first time in almost three years since I had seen any of them, and even longer since we had spent real time together. Over the course of lunch they asked me if I was interested in seeing my biological father whom I have not seen or spoken to in 20 years. Minus one painful denial of my existence at the mall when I was 15.

I thought for a moment and realized that I really have nothing to lose by doing so. That I have an amazing opportunity to help clear up some understandably made assumptions, to help provide healing and understanding, and forgiveness in the hopes that others will be able to start forgiving themselves.

I realize all too well how much I do not owe anyone anything, and I almost surprised myself at how much the thought didn’t enter my mind until way after I had made my decision.

I’ve been called to change my perspective, and to not miss the forest for the trees.

Even though my father was not around when I was growing up, even though he did some down right criminal acts, he really did the best thing for me by allowing me to be adopted by another man whom I love as my father and staying out of my life. I was able to become the person I am because he let me go. In that one simple yet heart breaking act, he put his children, including me first. And I love him for that.

As I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to share this right away or to wait, I heard a frog croaking outside. I'd been house sitting for almost a week, and this was the first time I have heard a frog, and not just during this visit, but EVER as I am a frequent visitor.

I heard it only a handful of times, but I felt instantly called to pull out the copy of Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up frog medicine. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I won't go into that much here as I really could write an entire blog post on frog medicine and the connection that I have to it.

This is was the confirmation from the Universe that I am going to play a crucial role in helping to heal my father’s heart. I know full well and accept that the real healing will have to come from him, and that it will have to be his choice. But I will be the doorway for him, I will be the one to help him understand and put pieces together. I will be able to answer questions that he has never had the answers to.

I realize that it might sound like a burden, or some form of family obligation. But I see it as an immense privilege, as an incredible opportunity. I don’t feel as though I am walking into a situation that I am unprepared for, or am somehow fulfilling a family duty.

I am approaching this as a daughter to her father, expressing gratitude and forgiveness that is long overdue. Even though I believed this to be a closed door, and I felt like I had as much closure as I was going to get, I feel that this is the chance I never thought I would have,

As I said before, I do have a loving father in my life, and I know that I would not be the person that I am without him. But I see something so beautiful in at least attempting to heal this relationship. Not that I believe in putting all of the blame for my 'heart troubles' but I do see the loss of my father as the first heart break of my life.

I was a small child when everything happened but I still carry memories and scars from the events leading up to, during and after the divorce. These are scars that are so old and buried so deep that most times I forget that they are there. And I would argue that they do not affect my daily life.

But in those short hours that I spent with my aunts I learned more about my father then I ever knew before. There are a few things that we share, and it's already answered some questions I didn't know that I had.

I had a friend ask me why I was doing this, and I did not want to go into the spiritual reasons behind my decision, so I thought about it for quite some time. And it only occurred to me as I was writing this how much I owe this to myself. I've denied myself this chance in the past, but I knew then and I reaffirm now that I wasn't ready before, but I know that I am now.

I can't say that I expect us to be a happy family again, I can't say that I expect anything really. I think if I were to do so it would ruin the integrity of the event. I might not be that little girl in sundresses any more, but I am still his child, and that is how I am going into our phone call this afternoon.

Even if this ends up not going anywhere, if one of both of us decide that it's not working, at least we can say that we tried, which is more then I've ever had before.

As I wait hour the hours I am not focusing so much on what we will talk about, I only set the intention that it will be what we both need.

Sending you light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

When Guides Come Knocking

Hello lovies,

Welcome to Part Five of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journey of how, why, and how to!
 
Following pieces of this series will include some meditations that I find helpful, ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why

So without further ado!


Prior to getting into the meditation, I'm going to provide a bit of context. That's right folks, we are jumping right in today! Whoohoo!! (You're still in for a long post, I warned you yesterday.)

Several months ago, I made a seemingly immediate and strong connection with someone. We had a brief encounter and continued to talk intermittently but nothing significant changed. Despite being perfectly content in my single life, I couldn't shake the connection we had made. I ended up with a fairly intense infatuation which I found quiet irritating. I knew nothing was going to develop between us, but that didn't seem to matter.

I was venting my frustration to one of my good friends and she suggested to me that, "Maybe your chakras were just wide open when you got together, and now he's just under your skin."

As previously stated, I am not well versed in charka work, so I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but it sounded right. I decided the only thing to do was to wait it out, let whatever was going on with me run it's course and then I would be done with it. A few weeks later I felt like nothing had changed, so I opted to do a reading for myself to hopefully gain some insight on what I should be doing.

I ended up doing a series of five readings. Not all about the same thing mind you, and not even with the same deck. Doing so many readings in a row is not something that I would recommend simply because messages can get muddled and distorted and boy howdy is it draining. When I sat down to read I had no intention of doing so many, I just let my intuition guide me.

There was one resounding theme in every one of the readings I did-meditate, consult your guides. If that's not enough of a sign then I don't know what is. I did not do this right away as I was getting ready for finals, plus my energy was not focused, it was all over the place.

When I was in a place where I felt like I had enough energy to really commit to it, I decided that I had not Journeyed in a while and figured that would be the best way to do so. When I talk about Journeying, I am referring to the Shamanic practice as I was trained in 2011.

I set my music, took a few deep breaths and spent a good ten minutes trying to hone my focus. Let me tell you, it was just not happening. I began to get frustrated because I had never experienced resistance in the past, and I wasn't quiet sure what to do about it.

It occurred to me that perhaps I simply wasn't grounded enough, and that perhaps doing a quick grounding meditation would be helpful. As I was preparing myself for that I just felt that either I was going to meditate or I was going to Journey. My solution to the dilemma was to use some grounding crystals and try to Journey again.

I went to my desk that also serves as my alter space and reached in blindly for my crystals, trusting that I would know them by touch. I had a mind to use Hematite, or Tiger's Eye which I mentioned in my last post. I would have even been happy with my Tree Root Agate, I ended up with White Howlite and Emerald. I felt a resistance in my body when I went to put them back, clearly these were the ones I was meant to use.

Before settling down again I put on my wolf pendant that I always wear when I meditate or do Journey work, I feel that it creates a link back to the physical plane, and I always feel a great sense of protection when I wear it. You can see a photo of it here. I was also wearing my rose quartz point.

When I meditate with crystals, I usually cross my legs and rest my closed palms on my knees. I didn't do that this time, with a stone in each hand I rested my hands together with my palms facing each other. After just a few breaths I could feel the energies of the crystals working together and creating a kind of helix around me, and I although I couldn't see in my mind's eye where I was or where I was going, I could feel movement. When the feeling settled I felt myself looking around, but still not seeing anything, I called out,

"Hello, is someone there?" I heard a soft chuckle and felt a very warm and feminine presence.

"Oh, my daughter, you grow more beautiful every time I see you." I felt a kiss on each cheek and a smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognize your voice." Still in a state of darkness and not wanting to be rude, I attempted to find out her identity.

"What matters is that you called, and I am the One Who Answers." I nodded, only an idiot would argue with that.

We discussed the readings, and the underlining tones of a romance, she spoke to me in a way that was somewhere between a loving parent and a best girlfriend. I expressed her how I hadn't been able to shake the familiarity I felt and more so the fact that he had felt it too. How I felt stuck between trying not to get any kind of hope up, and at the same time acknowledging how important it was being in a place where in fact, I was trying not to get any kind of hope up. I even felt bold enough to ask her if there was a chance that this was not the first life that we had crossed paths. She laughed, and it sounded like music.

"Oh my dear, you'll find that most men you feel drawn to have an air of familiarity. There is a reason they seek you out in this life." I didn't feel the need to inquire further, that in and of itself was enough to consider. By the time our conversation was drawing to a close I could see the sun on the horizon and that we were on a warm beach. The tide was gently coming in as if the ocean itself was slowly waking up. I was finally able to see my guide; she was an unnaturally beautiful woman with creamy skin, golden hair and hazel eyes, wearing what appeared to be a white and sky blue toga inspired dress.

It occurred to me somewhere in the back of my mind that I might be receiving counseling from Aphrodite, but thought it unlikely. Rather than ask again, I thanked her for her guidance. With one last smile she transformed into a dove, and flew away. I stayed for a moment to allow her message to sink in a bit more and to enjoy the warmth of the sand under my bare feet. As I was about to bring myself back, I heard a voice ringing out to me,

"Don't break the connection." So I waited. A series of heart beats passed me by and I was in a forest clearing. Hearing a noise behind me I slowly turned around, there was a black bodied centaur across the clearing. I could feel my breath catch in my throat; I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had a psychic reading done a month or so prior to this and during the reading I was told that one of my spirit guides was centaur. While it resonated with me, I hadn't interacted with this guide up until this point.

When the reader originally described the vision to me, he said that when he first saw my guide, its back was facing him, just as it was with me.

"Are you...?" When she turned to face me, she had a very knowledgeable and patient face.

"Oh yes, it's me. I've been waiting for you." I was flabbergasted. It had been some time since I had worked so openly with a new guide, and now I was two for two. "Well, don't be shy girl, come closer."

I did as she instructed, hesitant at first. She gave me a small soft smile plainly sensing my uncertainty. I returned the gesture and confidence replace the hesitation. We spoke of patience, of stubbornness, of a determined spirit. She spoke to me about my heart, and the way I view the world. Without much thought as to how, I found myself on her back.

"Try seeing things the way I see them. I will always have a wider perspective then you simply because of what I am, but you can learn to observe from my point of view. I know that your patience has been worn thin, and that you have begun to feel the energy of your mate, but patience is key. You are of the Earth, as am I. It is our greatest strength, harness it, do not fear it. To do so would mean that you fear yourself."

As I sat on her back I felt a complete sense of calm, I felt grounded, and strong. I tried to do as she instructed, starting simply by noticing how different the forest looked with only a few feet off of the ground. 

"As tempting as it is, remember this, do not miss the forest for the trees." She turned her head to look at me, her eyes piercing and wise. "When you feel yourself struggling, call to me. I will send you strength and revive your spirit." I nodded silently, trying to take everything in as it was, not wanting to forget a single detail.

In the midst of it all though, I felt something else. I could feel another energy approaching, this time masculine. I dismounted as the energy was too familiar for me not to feel certain I knew who approached. Through the brush a wolf appeared, but it wasn't the wolf I was expecting. Rather than a white wolf or grey wolf as I was used to seeing, this wolf was black. Unsure of what to make of this I looked over to my guide for reassurance but she was far off. Still within my sight but she was making it clear that I was on my own for this one.

Then I remembered another detail that the reader shared with me. During the reading he saw my guide standing next to a black wolf, but the wolf was not a representation of my guide, it was a representation of my partner for this life. As I turned back to the wolf, it began to change, and took the shape of a man. There were no discernible features that I could make out, it was if his shadow had come in his place.

I stood there in complete shock, at a complete loss for words-what the hell was happening?! Never before had another's energy or guide entered my meditation. This was an invite only kind of gathering, and I did not send out invitations.

 "I don't understand..." The shadow seemed to chuckle. I looked back to my guide again hoping that maybe she would explain, this time the wolf was with her, standing side by side just like the reader had described.

"I'm sorry for surprising you, I honestly don't expect to get away with this a second time." The shadow's voice was deep and kind. Looking back in his direction I was still trying to wrap my head around what was taking place. He had moved and was now standing before me, taking my hands in his.

"You don't have to say anything, I'm sure this was the last thing you were expecting." It must have been reflex, why I looked into what would have been his face, and somehow without any indication of facial features, I could sense that his expression was filled with the utmost tenderness.

"Now, I know you've told this to yourself before, because I suspect you'll end up saying it to me when we finally do meet." Raising his hand he tucked some hair behind my ear, his would-be eyes intent on me.

"You know deep in your heart that you are not ready for me to be with you. Just as much as you know that you are not ready to be with me. We still have growing to do, self-discoveries that can only be done apart and because of that they are only going to make us appreciate each other and ourselves that much more." He took a moment to sigh and look at me, (if you can call it looking) as if his subconscious were trying to memorize me so that way I would be easier to find later on.

"I wish I could convey to you how much I know that I already love you. I want nothing more than to show you how precious you are to me. But if we were to meet tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to do that. The man I am right now would run away from you so fast because the man I am right now doesn't know how to appreciate someone as wondrous as you. You deserve the very best that I can possibly give, and the man before you now, well. Not only does he not have the foggiest idea of how to do that, but he's also too selfish."

Despite myself I started to laugh, by this point all I could do was just let whatever was going to happen, happen. Regardless of whether my higher self was doing this to prove a point, or my future partner really had found his way to me, I needed to hear it. Somewhere in the midst of everything it occurred to me that I had become a shadow form too. I hadn't realized up until that point of how connected I felt to this being, so much so that I felt engulfed by his presence. I felt warm and safe, it felt familiar and strange and new all at once.

"I know that I have no right asking anything of you, so I'll put it this way instead. Let us both agree to give ourselves our best chance; let us continue to focus on ourselves, whatever comes our way. It's the best thing we can do for ourselves, and each other." His voice carried resolved, but it sounded hard earned.

I was silent for a moment, feeling a slight struggle within myself. Being as deep into my meditation as I suspected I must have been, I decided to save any debates that were waiting for me until after I was back and grounded. I can only assume that my silence was taken as an agreement, because he spoke again.

"If nothing else I say is remembered, please just know that I am getting to you as fast as I can. My daily conscious may not know it yet, but the part of me that is here with you now, wants to spend every possible day with you." I took a breath and a step back, but did not let go of his hands, suddenly afraid that I might find myself lost in this magical place where a soul's heart could reach me.

For a moment I tried to decipher if the presence before me really was a manifestation of his soul reaching out to me, or if my higher self was feeling particularly elaborate that day. After a moment of studying the shadow man before me I came to the conclusion that it did not really matter. The message itself was the important thing, and I reconciled that as much as I wanted us to be ready for each other, that simply wasn't the case.

I could feel my physical shape starting to return, but before I lost the shadowy essence that so perfectly connected the two of us, I closed my eyes and let my inner light encircle my being. Opening my eyes, I could see he was still dark as night, but I was a shimmering white. While we were connected by our inner essence, we were separate individuals.

"Hopefully this will serve as a reminder." I'm not sure if saying so was more for my benefit or his, but I thought I should at least say something. With reluctance I released his hands and turned to go, making a doorway which opened to a winding staircase that would bring me back down.

"You realize that I'll be able to find you that way. When we meet again, I'll notice that white light around you."

Looking over my shoulder it appeared as though a hand rested in his pocket.  Smiling I answered, "Well, it's not really for you, is it?"

He chuckled, "No, it's all for you."

...

After I came out of my meditation I had to just sit for a while and breath, trying to memorize everything that my guides told me, trying to memorize the whole experience really. Then I remembered the stones, so of course I had to remind myself of their properties. I have a little journal I keep with all of the stones in my possession as well as some brief notes about each one.

White Howlite helps with awareness. It can prepare the user or wearer to receive wisdom from the Higher Self and the Divine.

That was enough to rock my socks off. I was filled with this impending, 'This is the mother load' feeling as I flipped through the pages of my journal.

Emerald was thought to preserve love, as well as being a long time symbol of hope. It is considered by many to be the stone of prophecy. For some the emerald acts as a tranquilizer for a troubled mind.

Never before had my intuition so clearly guided me. There was still one thing I was curious about. Only once before has such a specific deity come to me, so I searched for goddesses associated with doves.

The first result I came across was a blog post talking about Aphrodite and her connection to doves. I decided to dig a little be more and found that Emerald is considered the stone of Aphrodite. My jaw dropped, I had no clue prior to any of this about those connections. My mind was officially blown.

This meditative experience is something that I am going to remember for the rest of my life. It was such a profound experience for me, so much so that I don't expect it to happen again. I am certainly open to it don't get me wrong, but meditation, whether to clear your mind or to reach out to your guides is about being open to what they have for you. I wasn't sure what I was going to get or who was going to be there (clearly!) but I trusted in the Universe, and I trusted in my guides. That is how meditations should be.

I hope that you have been enjoying the Open Heart Series so far, as there is more to come! Next I'll be sharing a few different techniques for meditating, some tips on how I've connected with my guides and how you can connect with yours.

Sending you light and love as always until next time,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Behind Door Number Two

Hey there lovies,

Welcome to Part Three of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read Part One or Part Two you can click the links and get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journey of how, why, and how to!

Part Three is much more of a journal piece versus a spiritual one, but just like my Behind Door Number One, and A Little Bit Stronger posts, I feel that it is essential to the journey ahead. It will give you a little more background on me, and how I got to where I am. As we can all attest to, every journey begins with a single step, and this is my first step on a journey to heal and open my heart. 

Even though this is part three in the series, this was the first post that I wrote. I had intended it to be the first post, but with the new moon so close I wanted to make sure that that the ritual and tool information was available to you as soon as possible. 

Following pieces of this series will include a retelling of a of a personal meditative experience, some meditations that I find helpful, ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

So without further ado!

I will readily admit that when I decided to follow through with the Open Heart Series I wasn't entirely sure what I was getting myself into. 

Since joining a couple of groups and working with like minded people I've been instilled with the courage to get out of my own head space and just follow what feels right, and it's been an amazing experience, however it's also been a huge influx of energy.

In all honesty it's been a bit overwhelming. Not in a negative sense by any means, but very draining. As I'm learning to balance school and all of the work I am doing personally, with my group and for this blog I am learning more and more the importance of working with my stones and meditating to center and ground myself. 

If you've been with me for a whole then you know that I have been working on releasing fear from my life, and it's been going well so far. Until I realized how close I was getting to dealing with the number one emotional obstacle I've ever faced. 

My fear of relationship getting into another relationship.

Typing that last sentence was easily one of the most difficult things I have done in this short year. But I knew that it was the first step, the second being that I would then need to figure out the big, "Why?"

In all honesty it's incredibly difficult for me to write about. Looking back to when I went to write about my anxiety it was something that I just needed to channel out of me. To get it right in front to me, to see it for what it really is. Somehow that has been easier than this. 

The truth of the matter is that this is absolutely terrifying. As important as I know that it is to face and deal with all of this, it's caused some serious anxiety for me. Which unfortunately has been piled on top of other worries, so the last few days have been very hard. 

Everything began piling up and before I knew it I felt like I was exactly where I started. I hate feeling so out of control, and the feelings of helplessness. It just feels as though everything that I have done hasn't been good enough, because look; I'm still here dealing with it. I haven't fixed it yet, why haven't I fixed it?

It wasn't until this most recent episode that I realized why I'm afraid to be in another relationship. I finally understood the reason why I am so scared for my life partner to actually find me.

I'm afraid of me. 

I am scared and worried that even after all of the work that I have been putting in to making myself, being happy with who I am, and self-sufficient, that it won't be enough. That I won't be able to keep up my progress, that I won't be ready when he gets here. 

I am terrified that no matter how hard I've tried to move on and let go of the past, that history will end up repeating itself, and that I'll have to start all over again. 

When I ended my engagement almost three years ago, it almost destroyed me on every single level. It wasn't so much that the relationship was over because in reality, it had been over for a long time, I just didn't know it. 

The way that it happened, the way that I was told, and learning how I had been living a lie for the previous three years, it was just too much. The events that followed were just as traumatic; seeing him move on so quickly with someone else, erasing every piece of evidence that we were ever together was just as heartbreaking. 

When I began spending time with my now ex-boyfriend, I felt compelled to tell him how much I felt I wasn't ready for a relationship, how broken I felt and how I just didn't think I could be with someone again so soon.

He was understanding and compassionate, and let me call the shots. After a week of spending almost every day together, I knew I had to make a decision. I knew that I wouldn't be staying in the area, I was leaving in a matter of months, did I really want to start something?

I followed my feelings, and I am grateful everyday that I did. We were together for thirteen months, more then half were spent long distance. In that short amount of time he took care of me in a way I had never been taken care of before, he showed me what it was like to be cherished and appreciated. Something I had never experienced in an almost ten year relationship.

I still cared for him immensely when we decided to call it quits. I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do, that the situation wasn't fair to either of us, and at the time he was giving more to the relationship then I was. I knew I had to let him go. Even with all of that knowledge it took me over a year to fully let go. 

I am now worlds and even lifetimes away from those days, but when I really stop to think, it hits me how it hasn't been that long. Even though I have made tremendous progress with my life and within myself, I've been able to do all of those things because I made the decision to focus on me.

I've been adamantly against being in a relationship because it occurred to me that I had never really been single in my adult life. The five months between ending one relationship and getting into another doesn't provide a lot of personal discovery time.

When things ended this last time, I was determined to not jump into anything right away. A little over a year later, I still don't necessarily feel ready to get back out there. I know that I still have work to do, and that there are things I want to be better sorted before a relationship comes knocking.

So instead of worrying about it so much, and feeding the anxiety, I am going to trust that the Universe knows what is for my highest good, and continue focusing on what I can change. 

It something that it is much easier said then done, but I really believe that it is something that I can do. I certainly do not expect things to change overnight, just like I don't expect this to be an easy journey. One thing I do expect is that the rewards will be infinitely worth the effort. 

Sending you light and love,

Thealynn


As an additional note, I wanted to take a moment to recognize my friend J who was patient and helpful when I was struggling to write this piece. Our conversations were exactly what I needed, your encouragement especially. You have my deepest thanks.

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Open Heart New Moon Ritual

Hey there lovies,

Welcome to Part One of my Open Heart Mini-Series!

If you're not quiet sure what I'm talking about, I mentioned this briefly in my Plans for the Bloggity, so if you're curious pop on over there and read if you have not already. 

Following pieces of this mini series will include a picture guide to my ritual tools for the new moon ritual, a retelling of a personal meditative experience, some meditations that I find helpful and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

I should also disclose that as there are a couple of weeks to go before the full moon ritual, there may be a post or two in there that might not be a part of the series. There is more time between the next full moon than I have topics to write about, at least when it comes to love and romance.

So without further ado!

I would first like to say that I usually do not plan my rituals out prior to them taking place. Planning ahead of time is not something I have a lot of practice in since I have just recently begun trying to keep track of moon phases, and holidays, etc.

I put some thought into this ritual and wanted it to be simple, nothing overly elaborate, but at the end of the day it really is up to you. Even though I am using specific wording and specific items, when you are doing a ritual it is much more powerful to use your own words. If you're just getting started and need a little guidance, that's what my specifics are there for. But do not feel like you have to use something I said or suggested if it doesn't feel right, the ritual is for you!

When I began to think about how I wanted this ritual to go, and the focus of this ritual, I began to think of what exactly I am trying to manifest. The tricky thing about doing so is to have a very clear idea of what it is you're trying to achieve.

For me, I am working on opening my heart to extend and receive love in preparation of meeting my partner for this life. 

I've known for some time of what I am looking for in a companion, but it occurred to me that knowing specifics about a person doesn't necessarily translate to what I want out of the relationship.

I think there is a misconception that if you know the details of what kind of partner you want, that it will automatically mean that the relationship will be a long lasting, healthy, mutually beneficial, respectful, loving relationship.

There is this mentality of, 'Oh, if only I could find x, y, and z in a person; then I'd be set.' Which as nice as that sounds, isn't always the case, or even realistic. 

With that in mind, we are going to jump right in. Since I have a little more time I'll be going into a bit more detail with step by step guide lines that you can follow as they are, mix them up, add your own stuff-this is really to help you get started.

Everything that I am listing is completely optional, these are the tools I usually work with.

Candles
Incense
Paper
Writing Utensil 
Clearing Agent (besome, bell, smudge stick)
Lighter/Matches
Glass of Water
Salt

You'll want to have everything that you need before you begin. One really important aspect of doing ritual is that you a creating what is called sacred space. You are taking dedicated time to commune with your guides, you are connecting with the Universe, and your higher self.

I like to gather my things in the space I will be using, and take a few deep breaths. I usually like to clear myself first with whichever tool I decided to use. Since it is a new moon, I will be using my bell versus my sage.

Since the New Moon is time for planting seeds and new beginnings, I opt not to use sage. I associate sage with clearing all things away, negativity is the main focus, but I don't like the idea of the blessings being carried out by the smoke along with the negativity. Go with whatever your gut tells you.

As you are clearing yourself and the space you will be working in, be mindful of your breathing. Visualize the space around you being surrounded by a white shimmering veil, and once you have gone around it steals to create your sacred space.

It is so important that you cleanse your self and your work space before you do a ritual. When you create sacred space you are sending out your intentions to the Universe to manifest, regardless of what you are trying to achieve. If there is any negativity or ill feelings while you work, that will be sent out with whatever else you are working towards, and things might not go as planned.

If you're having trouble focusing before a ritual and you can't shake the not so happy juju, try mediating and clearing you mind of all things except for a white light, or whatever color you associate with calmness. Let your mind start in the dark and let that light grow brighter and brighter until you are completely encompassed and you feel that light washing away what's holding you down. Let it fill you up until you can feel it tingling in your toes and fingers and then slowly let it go. Let the calm say with you as the light dims. I find it helpful to let the light form into a little shining ball that you can pull out whenever you might need it.

Some times that's not always as helpful as we would like, so try taking a shower and letting yourself relax and unwind. A ritual bath with Epsom salt is another great way to not only clear yourself but to relax any time!

Moving right along! 

When I am clearing I have a little mantra I like to say, and again you can write your own, you can use what I say, you can go and find something on the internet-just make sure that it resonates with you. You are creating this space with your power, you want to make sure it sticks!

I usually start with the north corner and work my way around in a clockwise direction until I am back at north. (Again, this is all about your preference and what makes you comfortable.)

As I cleanse I repeat my mantra three times:

I cleanse myself of all negativity
I cleanse myself of all negativity
I cleanse myself of all negativity

I banish all negativity from this space
I banish all negativity from this space
I banish all negativity from this space

Once my circle is raised, I call the corners. I like to start with North and follow in a clockwise fashion. I also like to call my animal guides as I call the corners. I do this because I have a very strong tie to my totems, and they have all come to me in the form of an element. Most of the time they are the same guides, some times I have a special guide with me during the time of the ritual, so I let my intuition guide me.

If you have an totem that you wish to call to assist you in your goals, don't be shy, they are there to help! Invite them to join you after the corners have been called if that's what feels right to you. 

I call to the corners of the North. Element of Earth, our Mother. I ask for your presence  as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the North, Wolf. 

I always get a feeling within myself as a response, once I have received it I say,

I feel your presence Great North, and that of my guide, I thank you.

I call to the corners of the East. Element of Air, our Father. I ask for your presence  as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the East, Dragon.

I feel your presence Independent East and that of my guide, I thank you.

I call to the corners of the South. Element of Fire, ignighter of Passion and Creativity. I ask for your presence  as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the South, Horse. 

I feel your presence Spirited South and that of my guide, I thank you.

I call to the corners of the West. Element of Water, sustainer of all Life. I ask for your presence as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the West, Orca.

I feel your presence Mysterious West, and that of my guide, I thank you.

In the presence of my guides and of the Elements, I humbly invite the Lord and Lady into my circle. God and Goddess, may you watch over me and guide me in my work inside and outside of this circle. I come to you this night as I work towards my highest good, in perfect love and perfect trust, I welcome you to join me in circle tonight.

I feel your presence My Lord. I feel your presence My Lady. I thank you.

Once that is done I will usually take another deep breath and invite any other guides that might be near that wish to lend me their strength, and I thank them as well. 

At this point I usually light my incense and a candle. I state my intention for the ceremony. Because my focus is opening my heart, I'll probably say something along the lines of,

As I continue to release fear from my life, and heal my heart space, I wish to open my heart to the love of the world. I wish to extend love to those who are in need, as well as to receive love in return. My desire is to not only live free of fear but to live with true inner peace, knowing that this will ultimately serve my highest good. Let me not shy away from affection and appreciation, help me to accept them with an open and thankful heart. 

While I do ultimately wish to be connected with my twin flame, I wish to be prepared. I desire nothing more than to be what he needs as a friend, companion and partner, just as he will be for me. May I be shown the way towards this path and not be faint of heart with the work to be done. 

I ask this from a place of deep humility and respect for divine timing. Let this take place only to fulfill my highest good as I hope to use all of this life's experiences to help heal the world. May I find and maintain the strength in surrender as I send this intention to the four corners of the earth, to the ends of the Universe and beyond. 

I would then verbally tie off my intention, most commonly seen is the, 'So mote it be.'
I've used to in the past, but I've switched mine up a bit. 

Now is the time that I would pull out that paper and writing implement and begin to write. You can write what you ideal relationship would entail, characteristics of your next partner, all of the things that you want to express with your healed heart, it's up to you!

Once I am done writing, I will fold up the papers and put them somewhere safe, but where I will not be seeing them everyday. One thing I learned recently, and it has been a hard lesson, is that when you are working with your intentions the best way for them to manifest is to set them and forget them.

By sending them out to the Universe you are saying, "This is what I would like to happen, and I am trusting you with the timing." That's not to say that you stop working towards your goals, they won't get accomplished by themselves. It just means that you don't stress about them, you don't obsess over them. You do your part and the Universe will do the same.

If you have specific tools that you will be working with to help you on your journey, this is the perfect time to dedicate them. I like anointing my tools, so if you have an essential oil, or you could even use your incense depending on what you're burning.

Example: "I dedicate [insert tool here] to the God and Goddess as I work towards [insert goal here.] May it assist me in reaching my highest good, in perfect love and perfect trust."

It can be as simple as that. By dedicating tools, they become physical reminders of the work that you are doing. They are infused with the power of the ritual, of the divine, of your guides, and the elements. For example if you're working on self love you might choose a piece of Rose Quartz, if you're having a tough day, hold that stone in you hand, or to your heart and feel the love and dedication that is charged within that stone. It might end up helping more then you think.

Last thing I would like to mention is that I like to have a little offering to the Lord and Lady. I like to use regular water and salt. Mind you this can be a small glass of water and a teaspoon of table salt, it can be whatever you have on hand. At the end of the ritual before I release the circle and my guides, I hold each item in my hands and say something like,

In my hand I hold the element of the Lord/Lady. May you accept this offering as a token of my gratitude for your guidance and your presence here tonight.

Once I have done so with both offerings, I take a little bit of salt and sprinkle it into the water. 

As you love and respect each other, I love and respect you. As the two of you are one, am I one with you. As you have graced me with your presence in helping me toward my highest good, so I will go out to the world and help others towards theirs. I thank you for your presence this night. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.

Once I feel their presence leave the circle I release my guides and the elements, once again starting from the North, releasing each one in turn.

Once everyone and thing has been released, it is time to release the circle. To do that, you'll want to go counterclockwise, or just the opposite way that you went when you were raising the circle. 

As I release my circle, I usually have a little bit I like to add on to the end,

As I release this circle, may my intentions be released to fulfill the greatest good of all, with harm to none, in free will, so mote it be.

I realize that this post is LONG as all get out, but I felt that it was important to share. I know when I first started doing ritual, I took a little bit from here and there, but it was hard for me to get started without any real direction. Making ritual your own is important but it's nice to have a frame of reference to work with.

If you made it all the way through this post, HOORAY!!! I hope this has been helpful! I will also be making a second post with pictures of what specifically I will be using, so that will be coming to you as well!

Be sure to stay tuned for that as well as the new Weekly Oracle Card coming on Sunday!

Sending light and love to you and yours,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn