New Moon in Virgo & Autumn Equinox

Hey there loves,

It's hard to believe that we're here again, Autumn. It's still a couple of days away, regardless I can't help but stop and breathe.

Oh my dears, so many of you have been with me for long enough to know that this is a time of reflection for me. September seems to be the one month of the year that I hold the closest to my heart, so many things have taken place over the years during this span of 30 days.

I can recall in years past how as much as I wanted to feel and reach out for feelings of peace, contentment, and gratitude, I was marginally unsuccessful.

This year, things are different. This year there is no catastrophe threatening the world I've built for myself. This year there is no heartbreak or confusion as to why feelings of the past persist with an almost reverence to what could have been.

Over the last few years, there has been a resistance to going inward and taking a good long look at what needs a loving touch, kind words, and an understanding warmth. Systematically it seemed, something life shaking took place, most of which required me to stand on my own two feet - and despite my best acting, I was unpracticed in.

Last year, I described September as the longest month of my life.

This year, I find myself surprised that Mabon is upon us in less then twenty-four hours. I breath easily this year and I am finding strength in knowing that I have moved so far beyond those days. Standing on the precipice of this next turn of the wheel I find comfort in knowing that I have grown more than I ever thought that I could, and there is a quiet strength where there was once fear and uncertainty.

During my last couple of days off from work I took to cleaning my home from top to bottom, and the next day I spent restocking my fridge and pantry, as well as donating multiple bags and boxes of items that I had been meaning to donate for months.

It wasn't until last night as I was sitting down with my tea that I was reminded that it was a new moon in Virgo. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I had been a machine of cleaning, and organizing, clearing my space both physically and energetically.

I was also called by my guides and by Spirit to really consider how much I had been lacking in taking care of myself over the last several weeks. I felt disconnected, tired and somehow, empty. There presence of my guides had been lacking and it was only in stillness did I recognize how far I had unknowingly pushed them back.

I was filled with guilt and sorrow as I knew something had been wrong, but I had been unable to put my finger on it. I had somehow slipped back into an old habit, and I felt foolish.

I went into a meditation where I called them to me one by one. I took turns embracing and crying with them, as it was much like reuniting with family. I was comforted and loved and even though I probably didn't need to ask for forgiveness, I asked anyway, which I was granted by each of them.

I was reminded how much the relationships with my guides and with others in our physical world need proper care and communication. I had allowed myself to be distracted by things on the 'outside' like so many years prior, and I was humbled as I allowed myself a moment of grace.

For all of the progress I have made, there is still work to be done. Wounds that need healing, cleansing and releasing. Work that I will be doing throughout the next several months. Lessons that have deeper layers that need to be revisited.

Once I felt content, I invited my guides to stay with my as I participated in my first New Moon ritual in I don't know how long. I brought stones to program, a candle to burn, a journal and pen to record my intentions.

I smiled when I opened the journal to find the most recent intentions of the journal were a year prior. As I looked over the intentions I had set, I was surprised to see that in their own way, they have come to fruition.

During the ritual last night, I set three personal intentions for the next lunar cycle, three planetary intentions, and then three intentions for the next three months. It was more difficult to decide on the personal intentions than the planetary, but I believe that all are achievable.

I am ready with open arms and an open heart to this journey and the charge that has been laid at my feet. I feel the call of the crone and the sage and I seek their wisdom as I move forward into the stillness, into the quiet.

If you have not already and would like to join me, I have created a Facebook Group, Shakti's Circle. This sacred space is open to all, I encourage you to come see us, we'd be happy to have you.

Take good care loves,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

The Day I Forgave My Rapist

Hey loves,

It's been a minute since we've chatted like this, and it should be no surprise what I'll be sharing.

With everything going on in the cosmos right now; multiple planets in retrograde, the full moon and lunar eclipse we just had, the solar eclipse and new moon coming up, it really feels like the whole Universe is getting shaken up and rearranged and fiddled with - including us.

We've passed the half-way mark of our calendar year, and as summer is reaching it's height, I can't help but stop and take a good look around. My life has changed dramatically in so many areas, at times I think I might have to pinch myself just to make sure I'm not dreaming all of it.

It was only a few short months ago that I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I had sent my attacker, my rapist to jail. It took time to get to a point where I wasn't constantly reminding myself that my battle was over and whats more, that I had won.

Being in the mental and emotional place that I am now, it really feels like world away. I even caught myself thinking about it all the other day at work and it felt strange and random, and then it occurred to me just how long it had been since the subject crossed my mind.

So imagine my surprise when it occurred to me one day that, I not only did not hate this person, but that I recognized forgiveness instead. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't completely convinced that forgiveness was actually what I felt. I sat with myself for a time and really tried to tune in to what in the world I was feeling.

I poked and I prodded, I let myself revisit the toughest moments I experienced in my healing journey, and what I saw looking back was sheer determination, a strong force of will, and the desire to leave that pain in a place where it could be safely observed without risk of falling into the pit.

I sat there with my sage burning, holding a crystal or two and asking the Universe if it was really all over. Was I really done with all of it? Did I now possess the ability to see it as an event of the past, a time in my life that could have gone so many ways, but one that I chose to navigate with justice and the gift of taking the time I needed to heal?

Truth be told I didn't truly recognize myself in that moment. The woman I saw was someone that I had hoped I would find for so many years but one that I was never really sure I would actually be able to step into.

Somewhere along the way, she told the young girl who was lost, confused, and hurt, filled with betrayal and uncertainty to relax and take a step back. She, I was here now, and I was going to take care of her, she didn't have to worry any more.

When you become a survivor of sexual assault, you are never the same person again. For me, it really became an opportunity to find my voice, and what's more is it became an opportunity to use my voice.

I made my way through the worst thing one person can do to another, and rather than allowing anger and hate to rule me, I let those feelings have their time. I gave them space to be and to breathe and once they were done, I simply let them go. Without conscious thought, I somehow allowed them to slip away and to be replaced by knowing that my life is going to be and is amazing.

His blatant act of destructive selfishness can't hurt me any more, as there is so much distance between the one he took advantage of and the one who stands alive today.

I realize that this might sound fluffy, and too easy, and too soon and anything else that indicates that I am not or should not have made the progress that I have.

Call it what you will, but I have known from the start that reaching this state of forgiveness for my rapist was one that I was going to come to. When my life came crashing down five years ago, the last thing I wanted to do was to forgive the people responsible, but I did. It took considerable time and growth, but I achieved it.

I will openly admit that I did not even consider forgiveness until after my court case had been settled, and even then, I din't feel like I was ready to take on what felt like such a huge thing. So left it alone, I didn't actively try to work towards it, because if I had learned anything about forgiving those that hurt you, it's that sometimes forgiveness just needs to come on its own.

Forgiving my rapist might seem like a crazy thing to do, but from where I'm standing, it's the best thing I could have done for myself with everything else said and done. It was my way of closing that chapter of my story, and it has allowed me to start with a bright, fresh, clean slate where anything and everything is possible.

Because if I'm able to forgive the guy who raped me, I can do anything.

*If you or someone you know has been abused or sexually assaulted, don't be afraid, you're not alone. You can find free resources by following this link: Tools and Resources: Healing from Sexual Assault.

If what I talked about today resonates with you and you would like to get to know me more or if you are looking for a community with other like-minded individuals, come and join us on Facebook in our virtual temple space, Shakti's Circle.

As troubling as the world may seem, know that you are so vitally important in bringing positive change, you are so loved.

Holding space for you dear one,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Full Moon Reflections: Capricorn

Hey there loves,

I normally don't do this kind of update post, probably because I'm unaccustomed to seeing such significant change in such a short amount of time.

When I wrote about the Full Moon in Capricorn, I felt like I needed to vent as much as I wanted to share what I was learning. I had mentioned before my frustration with a few of my coworkers and how all I wanted was for the situation to be resolved, in the way I thought was best of course.

Without realizing it, I had become more angry and frustrated at how I felt that I was being treated, and I stopped seeing the bigger picture. I got tunnel vision if you will, so naturally when those blinders came off, not only did I feel foolish and a bit embarrassed, I also wanted to make things right.

I had a conversation with one coworker about how it felt when we worked together, and I heard her out. Turns out that she felt much the same way that I did; passing off responsibility, not doing our far share of the work, and at the end of the day not being excited to work with the other person.

I took the opportunity to apologize and did my best to make sure that they knew that I would do my best to communicate more openly if I was having an off day or feeling behind, that I would try to make sure they knew I was there to help them if they needed it.

We agreed that if the cycle that has been infecting our work place was to stop, it had to start somewhere, so it was going to start with us.

A different coworker, whom I perceived to be the one responsible for all of the turmoil, started showing up more, started doing more, and appeared to be putting in more of an effort. My boss had asked me to give this person a second chance, and at first I was admittedly reluctant.

I'd given out second chances before and it had never ended well for me, and that was just my personal relationships. This was supposed to be a professional environment, why the hell were they given a second chance? I firmly believed, despite being told otherwise, that any one would be given this second chance if they were in this person's shoes. It felt like they were being special treatment for unknown reasons, and truth be told, I resented everyone who was involved.

In retrospect I can see where I did not do a good job of hiding my opinion even though I never voiced it. I was not sincere or genuine with this person, and I did not listen to the undertones or body language which always said more than the words that were spoken.

After writing about what Spirit revealed to me, it really hit home that I needed to not just see and recognize these people and the parts of them that I recognized, but that I needed to honor them and where they are at in their journey.

I needed to do this not just for myself, but by doing so, it could completely change the atmosphere and the energy in my workplace when I worked with them. As all of this was sinking in I told my guides, I told Spirit that I was not confident in my ability to do so overnight. I was unsure of how successful I would be right away, but that I would try and that I wouldn't keep myself closed off from them as I had been doing.

It's not two weeks later, and I am surprised at myself but I'm also proud. One year, two years ago, I don't know if I would have been able to turn around so completely. I'm going to work feeling lighter, feeling more confident in my position, I don't dread working with these people any more, and I genuinely spend time asking the Universe to hold them and send them love and support because in my heart I know that somehow it can and will manifest for them. Even if it manifests through me.

I no longer feel like I am being denied opportunities because I have been given the amazing chance to do other things. Like spending one day a week in a different department which isn't remotely related to the one I am in now. I am able to dedicate time to writing here, I've been able to finish a really exciting project that now is just waiting for the green light from Spirit to go onto the next step, I reached a place where I was comfortable creating an online temple space on Facebook where I can connect and share openly and others can do the same if they feel called to do so.

Don't get me wrong, the Full Moon in Capricorn was a tough one. I felt it BIG TIME. But now as we are transitioning into the New Moon in Leo, and we are heading into the harvest season, I am starting to look back on what I have been able to bring to life so far this year, and I feel amazing.

The work is not done, and there is still time to create, I feel the fiery energy of Leo beckoning me to breath life into more projects, to ignore the fear that tells me that somehow I am not good enough to do what I want to do. The lion in my roars with confidence because it knows, and I know better.

I will say though that with the completion of the project mentioned above, there is a sense of finality in a way. I knew that I wouldn't launch the project straight away, so now I'm sitting in a space with two different energies; the first being that I want to take a breath and soak up the fact that I have never even attempted something like this and now it's done, the second energy is that of the new moon in Leo wanting to get out there and create more stuff!

So, I am going to try an honor both energies, I will take time to be in stillness and gratitude and really honor the work that I have put into the project, and at the same time put my energy into other projects.

One such project is the Facebook group I mentioned before. If you are interested in joining, I fully encourage you to do so. We're still a fairly small community but you are welcome to it! I'll leave the link here with you, Shakti's Circle.

All right loves, time to go spend some time in that stillness.

Don't forget to live freely and love fiercely,

~Thealynn


©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Project Lift Off

Hey loves,

I have something that I wanted to share with you all in the event that you have not heard about it already. Which may be the case since it is a fairly recent development.

This may come as a no surprise but I have been working on a new project, several in fact but when I started I wasn't sure how to get these projects into the world once they were finished. I was and am super excited to be tasked with these projects and to bring them to life, but the how was a bit fuzzy for me.

I've been practicing going into the stillness within where my higher self can communicate more clearly, and I asked, where and how am I going to share these projects. What can I do to help facilitate these ideas. The answer I got was not one I was expecting: Create a Facebook Group.

I was a bit stunned because you see groups all the time focusing on different things, why and how would my group be any different?

I sat on that answer for a time, but the longer I waited, the more my guides placed ideas in my mind. The more I found myself thinking about it in my spare time, and wondering the best ways to tap into the energy that I wanted the group to embody.

Then it hit me. I was trying to tap into Shakti, who is the embodiment of the Divine Feminine Creative Life Force.

The group would be full of Shakti, so thus, Shakti's Circle was born!

I have linked this group with my Facebook Page, Through the Secret Door by Thealynn with the intention that it's all connected.

So what is the purpose of Shakti's Circle?

Shakti's Circle is a sacred temple space where we honor Divine Source, Spirit, God, Goddess, Creator, however you identify with the ultimate power. This is a space intended for the community, a place to share your work, ask questions, start conversations, build relationships.

This is a space for all who seek fellowship, not just a sisterhood or a brotherhood; because at the end of the day it's going to take all of us. We need each other, we need to be partners in recreating this world, because this world needs us.

I invite every and anyone to join us in this space, I hope to see you there.

Much love to you all,

~Thealynn


©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

My Full Moon in Capricorn

Hey there loves,

How has this full moon been treating you? Have you been feeling it the last few days as the moon as reached her fullness?

Image from monderndayastrologer.com

As some of you might already know, I am a Capricorn (sun), so this full moon holds some very serious energy for me. And possibly for you too! Are you ready for it?

One of the things that I love the most when the moon is full, is that I feel like I have the opportunity to really clean off my energetic plate. I get to drop all the stuff that I've been carrying around for the last month that just needs to go. It's a good time to reset, re-energize, reevaluate. It's also a good time to be super honest with ourselves.

Something that I think gets glossed over during the Full Moon, is the opportunity to see things in our lives with a fresh perspective, a different lens depending on what sign the moon is in. In this case, it's Capricorn.

For those who are unfamiliar with Capricorn, this sign is ruled by Saturn which is considered the Father of the zodiac; just as the Moon is considered the Mother of the zodiac which rules the sign of Cancer. As these signs are opposite each other, there is a call for balance when these two meet.

Capricorn is considered the 'hard knocks' planet, as Saturn is also known as the Karma Keeper, it's no surprise that Capricorns often wind up settling all sorts of karmic debt (positive and negative) during their life time. Because of the masculine energy surrounding Capricorn, they are often described as structured, practical, goal oriented, focused, etc.

The other side of that coin however can be viewed as: rigid, strict, obsessive, workaholic, etc.  Capricorns are known for being stubborn, rivaling other signs in the zodiac, because once they set their minds on something, it's nigh impossible to get them off course.

Capricorns can also suffer from tunnel vision and expect everyone to be on board with their plans and ideas, which isn't always practical or possible. When this doesn't happen, they can be come agitated and continue about their way, even if they do so alone. Which could explain why Capricorns have a tendency to take on SO MUCH on their own, even to the point of burning themselves out.

We Caps can be of the mindset, "It's all me or it's nothing." So much focus goes into the how, and where to, and what next that we can become detached from the emotion that sparked our dreams and goals in the first place.

So when our masculine sign visits the opposite sign of Cancer we have an opportunity get back in touch with our softer, feminine side. We get a chance to put our project(s) down for a minute and remember why we're so passionate about it in the first place. We can take off our shoes and dip our feet into the deep dream space where the love and desire for this goal was born.

When the moon is full, she is shining brightly and showing us what needs love and attention from us. You have probably heard the phrase along the lines of 'people get crazy during the full moon'. While it could hold some level of truth, the reality is that when the moon is full, there is a higher vibration of energy. Emotions, wounds, desires all come up to the surface and are being show to us because they are the things that require acknowledgement.

For me it was frustration with my work place. I came home angry last night, I wanted to throw up some fingers and tell them where they could go. So today before heading in I could feel that anger rising again and so I gave myself a nice smudge before I walked out the door. Today ended up being a much easier and a more pleasant day, and as I took my salt bath I realized what this full moon was showing me.

My frustration was being brought to my attention because I was getting frustrated with circumstances that I cannot control and I did not feel supported. I took a deeper look and was able to see that it was being reflected in one of my coworkers.

Let me just say I'm glad that I was sitting down because I was FLOORED. Literally FOR MONTHS, I have been trying to pinpoint why exactly this was manifesting in my life, and it all came to me. With the light of this full moon, I can see a part of myself reflected in this individual. I see patterns and behaviors that I myself have been guilty off. For such long time I could only see the flaws and mistakes this person was making, and all it did was make me angrier.

As all of this was dawning on me (no pun intended) I asked Spirit, I asked the Moon; What can I do to help heal this part of myself? The answer I received was so simple.

I could forgive myself.

As I tapped into the beautiful milky divine feminine, I asked to be shown more. We as humans are flawed by nature, because we are here to learn and to grow and the only way to do so is to make mistakes. I needed to be reminded that people, including myself, are allowed to make mistakes; that I have and that I will continue to do so. And that regardless of how many, or for how long, it should not, and does not lessen the value and worthiness of any individual.

We are able to go so far because of the mistakes that we make, not in spite of, but because of. Mistakes can be opportunities to launch us forward, or they can hold us captive, in one place for as long as we harbor the guilt and shame that we fabricate.

I can only speak for myself, but I am so thankful for every mistake that I have made because it helped me become who I am. Even now I find myself grateful to this person because they have shown me such a deep truth and have provided me with a chance to own that truth.

This is what my full moon in Capricorn is asking me to see, to acknowledge, to love and show compassion to, and then to finally send it with love and gratitude back to Source Energy, until the next lesson comes forward.

What is the Full Moon in Capricorn showing you?

Live freely and love fiercely,

 ~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

The Power of Feelings

Hey there loves,

It's been a couple of years since I wrote on this day, and before sitting down to write this I decided to look back on what I had written two years back, which you can read here. Which I fully encourage you to do because I feel very much the same, even more strongly than I did before.

Over the last couple of months I have been working with a coach and we had our last session about a week ago, while I was enjoying it and felt like I was gaining a lot from it, I also felt like I need to slow down, and practice listening to my own higher self, and listening to Spirit as to what to do next.

I also thought about just sharing that post as a way to observe this day, but it felt like it lacked something that I couldn't quite place my finger on. So, I decided to ask Spirit what I should do.

The last time I sat down to write, I became a mouth piece for the Universal message and it felt good. I was able to get out of my own way and just flow with the words and the feelings and there have been few times when I have felt such clarity.

I closed my eyes and felt myself fall into my meditative state and I asked the silence and the stillness within that is my higher self, that is Spirit; How can I be of service today? What message can I share?
The answer surprised me, to say the least.

Before I share the message I received, I want to be clear that this is not just something for everyone besides myself, this message includes me very much. Hearing it from Spirit, I felt is so deep down inside because I knew it was something that I've needed to learn for a long time.

When we talk about how we would like things to be different, we often hold a picture of what that difference looks like, as humans we are very visual which can be a good and not so good thing. We objectify and sexualize objects and places and even ourselves. We have a visual definition on what 'beauty' is, and if it or we don't fit into that definition than we and the things are less than, the value is diminished.

We can get so caught up on how things and we ourselves look that we completely disregard the feelings we experience. To feel something, positive or negative, we have to look inside ourselves to find that emotion, and the reason behind it.

For example, when we see a beautiful sunset the colors and the clouds or lack there of, can absolutely contribute to the beauty we see. But what do we feel when we see a beautiful sunset?

 
The photo above is one that I took during my vacation in Hawaii five years ago. When I think back to that time, I was in the midst of one of the hardest times of my life, and being in Hawaii was a chance to remind myself that while I was saying good bye to one chapter of my life, a new one was waiting for me to begin. Those sunsets filled me with peace, and hope, and the promise of something so beautiful. There was release in those sunsets, there was purity, and the much needed ending to a harsh story. Those sunsets spoke to me so deeply because what I saw was my strength and resolve painted in those skies, the waves taking my pain and resentment and feelings of foolishness away with them.

As I listened to Spirit, it was made clear to me that having a visual is not inherently a bad thing, in fact it can be an extremely helpful tool. It's when we get stuck on what we want that change to look like, and when we completely ignore how that change will feel that we find ourselves struggling to make the change and to keep it.

Visually can be a helpful starting point, but it's just one piece of the puzzle. When we go to set our intentions, our goals, so much can be had by focusing on how that change is going to make us feel.

As today is Independence Day for my country, now more than ever it's hard to feel any sense of pride. More often than not I feel frustrated, I feel angry, I feel ashamed because I know that as a country we are better than what we are portraying.

There is so much happening in this world that gives us pause, that breaks our hearts, that can make us feel helpless. But we're not. We have the power to change anything and everything that we wish to. When we think about the things that we want to see change; from things that will help make this world a better place to what will helps us feel better about ourselves, we have a vision of what that will look like - but what does it feel like?

What does that healthy body feel like? What would you feel like without that pain that you carry? What would that success feel like? What emotion would come with that feeling of peace, and acceptance, and tolerance? What would that equality feel like? What emotion would occupancy that opportunity?

How do you want to feel about yourself, about your career, about your finances, about your country?

What good is change without passion, empowerment, and heart behind it?

It's about time we stop putting our feelings in the corner, and bring them into the circle of our work. Our feelings are what motivate us to do great things, and there is so much that can be accomplished.

Until next time,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Being The Voice

Blessed Litha! 

Image from Pinterest (Artist Unknown)

Blessed Summer Solstice!

This is the time! Time to celebrate, time to love, to feel alive, to dance and sing, to go on adventures, to do that one thing you've always wanted to do but never allowed yourself to. This is the time to embrace every part of yourself, to express your deepest gratitude to the Great Spirit, to Source, to embrace the Divine Feminine, to show love to your Sacred Masculine. 

This is the time to love the sum of all of your parts because they make you exactly who you are, who you need to be. This is the time to love yourself for every mistake, stumble, and detour you've ever taken, because they've all lead you to this moment. And this moment is so beautiful. 

This day makes the halfway point between the year, this marks the essence of light! This is the time to get moving, to let yourself embrace your wild, to encourage your ambition, to reach for what you want most. 

The whole Universe is dancing, and singing, and lighting fires to guide you on your way to your highest good, because there is nothing in this world that you are meant to be deprived of. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of abundance, you are worthy of health, you are worthy of friendship, you are worthy of respect, you are worthy of compassion, you are worthy of acknowledgement, you are worthy of freedom.

You are so loved by the Universe, and by your guides, your ancestors, all of whom reach out to you every single day to express that to you, and you are worthy of seeing it.

The pain and suffering, the injustice, the blame, the guilt; all of these things are what we create as humans because we are not perfect, and some times we get lost along the way. Life is not pain free, but it is what we do with that pain that matters the most. 

You are so strong, and resilient, and beautiful, and kind, and we need you here. We need you here and now because no one else can tell your story. No one else can do what you came here to do. You are never alone, ever. You are so important, and so cherished. You have everything you need inside of you to change anything you put your mind and heart into. You really, truly can. 

Let today be the first day when you do not worry, when you do not stress, when you choose not to be afraid, when you deny anger; let today be the first day that you choose happiness, that you choose self-love, that you choose to say yes to your future today. Your future is now, it's not out there in the vast distance. Be who, and what, and how, and are TODAY. 

This world needs people like you, like me, like us to stand up - Together, United - and be the voice of reason, of compassion, of dignity, of understanding. Today is the day, this is the time. 

Step out into the light, embrace the wild, the untamed, the fierce, the badass that you are when no one is looking, or perhaps the one that you've hidden away. Let them be born into the light today, and welcome them home, for this is the time. 

Image from keen.com

 ~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf