New Moon in Virgo & Autumn Equinox

Hey there loves,

It's hard to believe that we're here again, Autumn. It's still a couple of days away, regardless I can't help but stop and breathe.

Oh my dears, so many of you have been with me for long enough to know that this is a time of reflection for me. September seems to be the one month of the year that I hold the closest to my heart, so many things have taken place over the years during this span of 30 days.

I can recall in years past how as much as I wanted to feel and reach out for feelings of peace, contentment, and gratitude, I was marginally unsuccessful.

This year, things are different. This year there is no catastrophe threatening the world I've built for myself. This year there is no heartbreak or confusion as to why feelings of the past persist with an almost reverence to what could have been.

Over the last few years, there has been a resistance to going inward and taking a good long look at what needs a loving touch, kind words, and an understanding warmth. Systematically it seemed, something life shaking took place, most of which required me to stand on my own two feet - and despite my best acting, I was unpracticed in.

Last year, I described September as the longest month of my life.

This year, I find myself surprised that Mabon is upon us in less then twenty-four hours. I breath easily this year and I am finding strength in knowing that I have moved so far beyond those days. Standing on the precipice of this next turn of the wheel I find comfort in knowing that I have grown more than I ever thought that I could, and there is a quiet strength where there was once fear and uncertainty.

During my last couple of days off from work I took to cleaning my home from top to bottom, and the next day I spent restocking my fridge and pantry, as well as donating multiple bags and boxes of items that I had been meaning to donate for months.

It wasn't until last night as I was sitting down with my tea that I was reminded that it was a new moon in Virgo. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I had been a machine of cleaning, and organizing, clearing my space both physically and energetically.

I was also called by my guides and by Spirit to really consider how much I had been lacking in taking care of myself over the last several weeks. I felt disconnected, tired and somehow, empty. There presence of my guides had been lacking and it was only in stillness did I recognize how far I had unknowingly pushed them back.

I was filled with guilt and sorrow as I knew something had been wrong, but I had been unable to put my finger on it. I had somehow slipped back into an old habit, and I felt foolish.

I went into a meditation where I called them to me one by one. I took turns embracing and crying with them, as it was much like reuniting with family. I was comforted and loved and even though I probably didn't need to ask for forgiveness, I asked anyway, which I was granted by each of them.

I was reminded how much the relationships with my guides and with others in our physical world need proper care and communication. I had allowed myself to be distracted by things on the 'outside' like so many years prior, and I was humbled as I allowed myself a moment of grace.

For all of the progress I have made, there is still work to be done. Wounds that need healing, cleansing and releasing. Work that I will be doing throughout the next several months. Lessons that have deeper layers that need to be revisited.

Once I felt content, I invited my guides to stay with my as I participated in my first New Moon ritual in I don't know how long. I brought stones to program, a candle to burn, a journal and pen to record my intentions.

I smiled when I opened the journal to find the most recent intentions of the journal were a year prior. As I looked over the intentions I had set, I was surprised to see that in their own way, they have come to fruition.

During the ritual last night, I set three personal intentions for the next lunar cycle, three planetary intentions, and then three intentions for the next three months. It was more difficult to decide on the personal intentions than the planetary, but I believe that all are achievable.

I am ready with open arms and an open heart to this journey and the charge that has been laid at my feet. I feel the call of the crone and the sage and I seek their wisdom as I move forward into the stillness, into the quiet.

If you have not already and would like to join me, I have created a Facebook Group, Shakti's Circle. This sacred space is open to all, I encourage you to come see us, we'd be happy to have you.

Take good care loves,

~Thealynn

©2013-2017 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

The Green Light

Hello lovies,

Not too long ago I wrote about the current planetary retrogrades and how they might be affecting us here on Earth which you can read about here if you haven't already. I've heard from several people how much better they feel having at least an idea of where some of the changes in their life are stemming from-which is what I had hoped for.

But I never expected that they would create such a clear road map for my own life, and ultimately push me into making some very unexpected changes within myself.

The biggest retrograde that seems to have everyone talking right now seems to be Venus, which goes direct again on September 6th, so we've got some time left with that one, and with Uranus not going direct until December 26th, we've got changes coming our way for the remainder of the year.

It sounds daunting, there's no arguing that. And with this being an eight year which suggests prosperity and abundance, I don't know that anyone thought there would be an abundance of change.

I knew that I would be going into this year with hope and determination and that I was going to make 2015 my year. And up until recently I felt like I was still trying to figure out how to make that happen, and in some ways I think I was waiting for it also.

If you've been keeping up with my blog you know that there has been no lack of changes taking place, and some of the changes haven't exactly brought on the warm and fuzzies; but because of those experiences it's encouraged me to react with more positive changes and in doing so I'm receiving a clearer picture of who I am, where I'm going, and what it is I am here to do.

It's been about four months since I've moved now and since that time I've been receiving fairly regular messages and signs from the Universe about the number one thing in my life that needed changing.

It was a change that I ultimately felt conflicted about and despite having moments of clarity and resolve, I was unsuccessful in implementing the change that needed to take place. It became such a struggle for me that eventually when I had a moment to myself I released all of the frustration, anger and resentment that was being fed by my ego through tears of sheer vulnerability. I prayed to the gods to simply take the burden from me since I felt that I was not strong enough to handle this task by myself.

I really just left it up to the Universe on what I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to handle this change because every thing I had tried up until that point just hadn't worked.

And then seemingly out of nowhere, I was presented with an opportunity to once and for all let it all go. That's not to say that it was a painless release, but the truth of the matter is that it was going to be painful regardless of when or how. And if I wasn't going to make this change at the time I was presented with, I simply wasn't ever going to.

It really came down to giving myself a chance at something I deserved and something that I had been holding out for. That's not to say I wasn't cautious and I certainly wasn't invested in the potential outcomes, I was simply open to it.

Besides, how many of us can honestly say that when the gods are doing everything short of a light show to get your attention and repeatedly giving signs that not even a blind man would miss, are you really going to ignore that?

Today is the day that the sun traveled into the sign  of Virgo which promotes action and taking initiative. So if you've been putting of that change that you know you're supposed to make; this is your green light.

I've said it before, and I doubt this will be the last time, change can be scary. Terrifying even. But we can here to LIVE not merely exist or survive as best we can until the inevitable end.

I took the biggest chance of my life so far, and it has left me feeling free, and light and full of joy. I don't know what the future holds, but I am excited and ready to take this journey and to not take it alone.

Earlier this year I said goodbye to love, and just a few short days ago, I said hello again.

What is it that has been knocking at your door, tapping on your window, whispering to your heart?

In light and love my dears,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Behind Door Number Three

Hey there lovies,

Welcome to Part Nine of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditiations
Whisperings of a Ghost 
Connecting with Your Guides

So without further ado!

There have been so many things that have transpired since I began this journey of my Open Heart series. I thought that reuniting with my father after twenty years would be the high light, but it turns out, the Universe had more in store for me.

Don't worry, I'll explain.

I am participating in sessions with a well versed spiritual teacher, along with many others, and during our most recent lesson a goddess' name was spoken and it sounded as if the name itself was ringing. Now, from time to time I will have random ringing or a high pitched note go off in my ears for varying amounts of time, and at first I thought that's what it was. As my teacher talked about part of our spiritual work and about the goddess herself, I felt myself slowly filling up and then slowly being surrounded by this energy.

I felt warm, empowered, creative and sexy. That last part really threw me for a loop, because there have been very few times that I have felt that way. Which I never really considered a bad thing, but when I was thinking about it a bit more and it made me...sad.

While I very much embrace the fact that I am an Earth sign, and am very much rooted in a physical world, I've never had much appreciated my own physical form. I've never considered myself particularly attractive, or fit, or even desirable.

There have been several years when I have told myself that I would get in shape, and I would change my eating habits and that I wanted to take better care of myself physically, I haven't done it. Not for extended periods of time anyway.

I never really gave  thought as to why it never stuck, or why I was never able to commit to it, and to be honest, the only thing that comes to mind is I am afraid of changing. Which sounds so silly when I put it that way, because there really are NO downsides to any of those goals. My ego comes into play though and reminds me of how gross I'll get working out, and how I'll be sore, and what about that asthma I've never been professionally diagnosed with?

While I have never been a particularly thin person, it's only been in the last five years that I've become overweight. Not dangerously so, but enough that any body issues I may have had before were magnified.

I was on the heavier side of the average for my age and height, and while I felt like my thighs were mountains, I was fine with the rest of my body. I certainly didn't love my body, but I didn't hate it either. Overall I just wasn't very excited about my whole self.

I've never liked too much physical activity because I felt like it only highlighted what I considered to be what I was physically lacking or I felt like I just was not good at whatever I was trying to do. I preferred to be stationary and write or read-not that that much has changed to be honest.

Last summer for one of my college classes I took ballroom dance, and I LOVED it. It's true that I was sore some days, and that we all certainly got sweaty due to lack of air conditioning in that part of the gym, but I had an absolute blast.

Before that class I always said how much I didn't think I could dance. And sure, it took a few classes to get the hang of things, but I was constantly being complimented on my technique when I was just flowing through the steps. It was something that just came naturally to me.

I was surprised because when I started high school I went through a major stint of depression where I completely disconnected from every aspect of life, and even though I got out of it, I never really felt connected on a physical level other than extreme pain.

As I slowly but surely began gaining weight, it affected not only my health, but my relationship. As much as my ex thought he was encouraging me, all he did was make me feel horrible about myself which only caused the cycle to continue. The ways that he enjoy exercising just did not appeal to me, which frustrated him, frustrated me, and only added to the problem.

When I was dancing, as much as I loved it, there was always a small part of me that was self-conscious about the way my body was moving, and how it looked while it was moving. There were moments when I was completely caught up in the dance and didn't care about it at all because I was connecting with a part of my soul that I didn't know existed.

When I have thought about getting in shape, and getting healthy, there has always been a block for me to do it, and as I have been writing this, I am now realizing that there are a couple of reasons.

1. I've been afraid of failing. I'm afraid of the looks I'll get from people while I am working out, I'm afraid of their judgement.

2. I've been afraid of what will happen if I loose the weight, but can't keep it off. It's easier just to maintain where I already am.

3. I've been afraid of not being able to loose the weight. If 'regular exercise' and a healthy diet don't do it, what will it take?

4. I've been afraid of not being attractive once I'm in better shape. It's been easy to justify not having someone in my life because of my weight. If I'm in good physical shape and I'm still not attractive, what does that say about me?

Seeing them listed in front of me is eye opening but it's also heartbreaking. While I feel somewhat relieved to have finally broken this thing down, I also feel a sense of shame because I realize how shallow these reasons are, especially the last.

I know that logically whoever I am with will love me and want to be with me because of who I am on the inside, and while I truly do believe that, it's hard to remember while I feel so negatively about myself on the outside.

While I consider myself a spiritual soul, I am also a very physical being. And I honestly believe that getting in touch with my body, and being brave and motivated to finally take those steps will only help to serve my highest good and my purpose.

In the honor of that, I am going to be implementing yoga and belly dancing into my daily routines. I'm doing to be doing some research on how best to get started, and I am hoping that I can start practicing the basics at home.

This was possibly one of the last deities I ever expected to come to me, let alone in such a profound way. Even though it has been almost two weeks since the initial interaction and I have continued to feel her presence and her energy. She has also popped up in several places since that time, only reinforcing her place in my life and in my spiritual work.

I had intended to use this posting to introduce her, and to share how I will be working with her, but I think this is what needed to be done in preparation of that. I'm so grateful for this journey, because it has taken me places I never thought I would go, or needed to go.

It's been almost two months since I started this journey again Through the Secret Door, and this series that started off with just a few simply posts has gown into the first tree I see planted in the garden of this sacred space.

I've taken my first step to surrendering to my purpose, and though I do not know what or how many steps lay before me, I know that will continue through with humility, free of fear, and knowing I have such an amazing goddess beside me, I feel as though I am ready to ride this wave to it's fullest extent.

Sending you light and love,

Thealynn

You can purchase this print from The Lovely Little Witch Etsy Shop.

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Whisperings of a Ghost

Good morning lovies,

Welcome to Part Seven of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journeys of how, why, and how to!
 
Following pieces of this series will include ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why
When Guides Come Knocking
Grounding and Bubble Meditations

So without further ado!

This is very much an unexpected addition to my Open Heart series, but I believe it may be one of the most significant.

For those who are unaware, we are currently experiencing what we call Mercury Retrograde. This is a period of a few weeks in which Mercury appears to travel backwards on its axis. This is mostly observed by the pagan community as something to be weary of because it causes disruptions in communication, technology, seems to slow down the progress of projects and overall it can just feel like an unpleasant time.

However there are some positives that can come along with Mercury Retrograde that I discussed on my Facebook Page, so if you're curious follow the link. One thing that I will mention is that Mercury Retrograde can some times bring in people from your past wanting to reconnect.

Without spending too much time on details, suffice it to say that there is one side of the family that I have not had consistent contact with for the last 20 years. Some interaction here and there, but nothing terribly serious.

I’m guessing that between opening myself and my heart to the Universe for my highest good and Mercury being in retrograde is what helped the stars to align causing me to get a fairly abrupt message from one of my biological father’s sisters, being my aunt. She has said before how much she has wanted to get together over the last several months, but nothing has ever come of it.

After some seemingly convoluted conversations which really did turn out to be misunderstands, we had lunch last week. What started out as my aunt, uncle and myself turned into two of my other aunts from that same side joining us.

It was the first time in almost three years since I had seen any of them, and even longer since we had spent real time together. Over the course of lunch they asked me if I was interested in seeing my biological father whom I have not seen or spoken to in 20 years. Minus one painful denial of my existence at the mall when I was 15.

I thought for a moment and realized that I really have nothing to lose by doing so. That I have an amazing opportunity to help clear up some understandably made assumptions, to help provide healing and understanding, and forgiveness in the hopes that others will be able to start forgiving themselves.

I realize all too well how much I do not owe anyone anything, and I almost surprised myself at how much the thought didn’t enter my mind until way after I had made my decision.

I’ve been called to change my perspective, and to not miss the forest for the trees.

Even though my father was not around when I was growing up, even though he did some down right criminal acts, he really did the best thing for me by allowing me to be adopted by another man whom I love as my father and staying out of my life. I was able to become the person I am because he let me go. In that one simple yet heart breaking act, he put his children, including me first. And I love him for that.

As I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to share this right away or to wait, I heard a frog croaking outside. I'd been house sitting for almost a week, and this was the first time I have heard a frog, and not just during this visit, but EVER as I am a frequent visitor.

I heard it only a handful of times, but I felt instantly called to pull out the copy of Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up frog medicine. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I won't go into that much here as I really could write an entire blog post on frog medicine and the connection that I have to it.

This is was the confirmation from the Universe that I am going to play a crucial role in helping to heal my father’s heart. I know full well and accept that the real healing will have to come from him, and that it will have to be his choice. But I will be the doorway for him, I will be the one to help him understand and put pieces together. I will be able to answer questions that he has never had the answers to.

I realize that it might sound like a burden, or some form of family obligation. But I see it as an immense privilege, as an incredible opportunity. I don’t feel as though I am walking into a situation that I am unprepared for, or am somehow fulfilling a family duty.

I am approaching this as a daughter to her father, expressing gratitude and forgiveness that is long overdue. Even though I believed this to be a closed door, and I felt like I had as much closure as I was going to get, I feel that this is the chance I never thought I would have,

As I said before, I do have a loving father in my life, and I know that I would not be the person that I am without him. But I see something so beautiful in at least attempting to heal this relationship. Not that I believe in putting all of the blame for my 'heart troubles' but I do see the loss of my father as the first heart break of my life.

I was a small child when everything happened but I still carry memories and scars from the events leading up to, during and after the divorce. These are scars that are so old and buried so deep that most times I forget that they are there. And I would argue that they do not affect my daily life.

But in those short hours that I spent with my aunts I learned more about my father then I ever knew before. There are a few things that we share, and it's already answered some questions I didn't know that I had.

I had a friend ask me why I was doing this, and I did not want to go into the spiritual reasons behind my decision, so I thought about it for quite some time. And it only occurred to me as I was writing this how much I owe this to myself. I've denied myself this chance in the past, but I knew then and I reaffirm now that I wasn't ready before, but I know that I am now.

I can't say that I expect us to be a happy family again, I can't say that I expect anything really. I think if I were to do so it would ruin the integrity of the event. I might not be that little girl in sundresses any more, but I am still his child, and that is how I am going into our phone call this afternoon.

Even if this ends up not going anywhere, if one of both of us decide that it's not working, at least we can say that we tried, which is more then I've ever had before.

As I wait hour the hours I am not focusing so much on what we will talk about, I only set the intention that it will be what we both need.

Sending you light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

When Guides Come Knocking

Hello lovies,

Welcome to Part Five of my Open Heart Series!

If you have not read the previous parts of this series I would encourage you to follow the links below so that you can get all caught up! What started as a minor project has blossomed into a journey of how, why, and how to!
 
Following pieces of this series will include some meditations that I find helpful, ways to connect with your guides and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

Previous Series Postings
OHNMR
OHNMRT
Behind Door Number Two
Why Answer the Why

So without further ado!


Prior to getting into the meditation, I'm going to provide a bit of context. That's right folks, we are jumping right in today! Whoohoo!! (You're still in for a long post, I warned you yesterday.)

Several months ago, I made a seemingly immediate and strong connection with someone. We had a brief encounter and continued to talk intermittently but nothing significant changed. Despite being perfectly content in my single life, I couldn't shake the connection we had made. I ended up with a fairly intense infatuation which I found quiet irritating. I knew nothing was going to develop between us, but that didn't seem to matter.

I was venting my frustration to one of my good friends and she suggested to me that, "Maybe your chakras were just wide open when you got together, and now he's just under your skin."

As previously stated, I am not well versed in charka work, so I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but it sounded right. I decided the only thing to do was to wait it out, let whatever was going on with me run it's course and then I would be done with it. A few weeks later I felt like nothing had changed, so I opted to do a reading for myself to hopefully gain some insight on what I should be doing.

I ended up doing a series of five readings. Not all about the same thing mind you, and not even with the same deck. Doing so many readings in a row is not something that I would recommend simply because messages can get muddled and distorted and boy howdy is it draining. When I sat down to read I had no intention of doing so many, I just let my intuition guide me.

There was one resounding theme in every one of the readings I did-meditate, consult your guides. If that's not enough of a sign then I don't know what is. I did not do this right away as I was getting ready for finals, plus my energy was not focused, it was all over the place.

When I was in a place where I felt like I had enough energy to really commit to it, I decided that I had not Journeyed in a while and figured that would be the best way to do so. When I talk about Journeying, I am referring to the Shamanic practice as I was trained in 2011.

I set my music, took a few deep breaths and spent a good ten minutes trying to hone my focus. Let me tell you, it was just not happening. I began to get frustrated because I had never experienced resistance in the past, and I wasn't quiet sure what to do about it.

It occurred to me that perhaps I simply wasn't grounded enough, and that perhaps doing a quick grounding meditation would be helpful. As I was preparing myself for that I just felt that either I was going to meditate or I was going to Journey. My solution to the dilemma was to use some grounding crystals and try to Journey again.

I went to my desk that also serves as my alter space and reached in blindly for my crystals, trusting that I would know them by touch. I had a mind to use Hematite, or Tiger's Eye which I mentioned in my last post. I would have even been happy with my Tree Root Agate, I ended up with White Howlite and Emerald. I felt a resistance in my body when I went to put them back, clearly these were the ones I was meant to use.

Before settling down again I put on my wolf pendant that I always wear when I meditate or do Journey work, I feel that it creates a link back to the physical plane, and I always feel a great sense of protection when I wear it. You can see a photo of it here. I was also wearing my rose quartz point.

When I meditate with crystals, I usually cross my legs and rest my closed palms on my knees. I didn't do that this time, with a stone in each hand I rested my hands together with my palms facing each other. After just a few breaths I could feel the energies of the crystals working together and creating a kind of helix around me, and I although I couldn't see in my mind's eye where I was or where I was going, I could feel movement. When the feeling settled I felt myself looking around, but still not seeing anything, I called out,

"Hello, is someone there?" I heard a soft chuckle and felt a very warm and feminine presence.

"Oh, my daughter, you grow more beautiful every time I see you." I felt a kiss on each cheek and a smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognize your voice." Still in a state of darkness and not wanting to be rude, I attempted to find out her identity.

"What matters is that you called, and I am the One Who Answers." I nodded, only an idiot would argue with that.

We discussed the readings, and the underlining tones of a romance, she spoke to me in a way that was somewhere between a loving parent and a best girlfriend. I expressed her how I hadn't been able to shake the familiarity I felt and more so the fact that he had felt it too. How I felt stuck between trying not to get any kind of hope up, and at the same time acknowledging how important it was being in a place where in fact, I was trying not to get any kind of hope up. I even felt bold enough to ask her if there was a chance that this was not the first life that we had crossed paths. She laughed, and it sounded like music.

"Oh my dear, you'll find that most men you feel drawn to have an air of familiarity. There is a reason they seek you out in this life." I didn't feel the need to inquire further, that in and of itself was enough to consider. By the time our conversation was drawing to a close I could see the sun on the horizon and that we were on a warm beach. The tide was gently coming in as if the ocean itself was slowly waking up. I was finally able to see my guide; she was an unnaturally beautiful woman with creamy skin, golden hair and hazel eyes, wearing what appeared to be a white and sky blue toga inspired dress.

It occurred to me somewhere in the back of my mind that I might be receiving counseling from Aphrodite, but thought it unlikely. Rather than ask again, I thanked her for her guidance. With one last smile she transformed into a dove, and flew away. I stayed for a moment to allow her message to sink in a bit more and to enjoy the warmth of the sand under my bare feet. As I was about to bring myself back, I heard a voice ringing out to me,

"Don't break the connection." So I waited. A series of heart beats passed me by and I was in a forest clearing. Hearing a noise behind me I slowly turned around, there was a black bodied centaur across the clearing. I could feel my breath catch in my throat; I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had a psychic reading done a month or so prior to this and during the reading I was told that one of my spirit guides was centaur. While it resonated with me, I hadn't interacted with this guide up until this point.

When the reader originally described the vision to me, he said that when he first saw my guide, its back was facing him, just as it was with me.

"Are you...?" When she turned to face me, she had a very knowledgeable and patient face.

"Oh yes, it's me. I've been waiting for you." I was flabbergasted. It had been some time since I had worked so openly with a new guide, and now I was two for two. "Well, don't be shy girl, come closer."

I did as she instructed, hesitant at first. She gave me a small soft smile plainly sensing my uncertainty. I returned the gesture and confidence replace the hesitation. We spoke of patience, of stubbornness, of a determined spirit. She spoke to me about my heart, and the way I view the world. Without much thought as to how, I found myself on her back.

"Try seeing things the way I see them. I will always have a wider perspective then you simply because of what I am, but you can learn to observe from my point of view. I know that your patience has been worn thin, and that you have begun to feel the energy of your mate, but patience is key. You are of the Earth, as am I. It is our greatest strength, harness it, do not fear it. To do so would mean that you fear yourself."

As I sat on her back I felt a complete sense of calm, I felt grounded, and strong. I tried to do as she instructed, starting simply by noticing how different the forest looked with only a few feet off of the ground. 

"As tempting as it is, remember this, do not miss the forest for the trees." She turned her head to look at me, her eyes piercing and wise. "When you feel yourself struggling, call to me. I will send you strength and revive your spirit." I nodded silently, trying to take everything in as it was, not wanting to forget a single detail.

In the midst of it all though, I felt something else. I could feel another energy approaching, this time masculine. I dismounted as the energy was too familiar for me not to feel certain I knew who approached. Through the brush a wolf appeared, but it wasn't the wolf I was expecting. Rather than a white wolf or grey wolf as I was used to seeing, this wolf was black. Unsure of what to make of this I looked over to my guide for reassurance but she was far off. Still within my sight but she was making it clear that I was on my own for this one.

Then I remembered another detail that the reader shared with me. During the reading he saw my guide standing next to a black wolf, but the wolf was not a representation of my guide, it was a representation of my partner for this life. As I turned back to the wolf, it began to change, and took the shape of a man. There were no discernible features that I could make out, it was if his shadow had come in his place.

I stood there in complete shock, at a complete loss for words-what the hell was happening?! Never before had another's energy or guide entered my meditation. This was an invite only kind of gathering, and I did not send out invitations.

 "I don't understand..." The shadow seemed to chuckle. I looked back to my guide again hoping that maybe she would explain, this time the wolf was with her, standing side by side just like the reader had described.

"I'm sorry for surprising you, I honestly don't expect to get away with this a second time." The shadow's voice was deep and kind. Looking back in his direction I was still trying to wrap my head around what was taking place. He had moved and was now standing before me, taking my hands in his.

"You don't have to say anything, I'm sure this was the last thing you were expecting." It must have been reflex, why I looked into what would have been his face, and somehow without any indication of facial features, I could sense that his expression was filled with the utmost tenderness.

"Now, I know you've told this to yourself before, because I suspect you'll end up saying it to me when we finally do meet." Raising his hand he tucked some hair behind my ear, his would-be eyes intent on me.

"You know deep in your heart that you are not ready for me to be with you. Just as much as you know that you are not ready to be with me. We still have growing to do, self-discoveries that can only be done apart and because of that they are only going to make us appreciate each other and ourselves that much more." He took a moment to sigh and look at me, (if you can call it looking) as if his subconscious were trying to memorize me so that way I would be easier to find later on.

"I wish I could convey to you how much I know that I already love you. I want nothing more than to show you how precious you are to me. But if we were to meet tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to do that. The man I am right now would run away from you so fast because the man I am right now doesn't know how to appreciate someone as wondrous as you. You deserve the very best that I can possibly give, and the man before you now, well. Not only does he not have the foggiest idea of how to do that, but he's also too selfish."

Despite myself I started to laugh, by this point all I could do was just let whatever was going to happen, happen. Regardless of whether my higher self was doing this to prove a point, or my future partner really had found his way to me, I needed to hear it. Somewhere in the midst of everything it occurred to me that I had become a shadow form too. I hadn't realized up until that point of how connected I felt to this being, so much so that I felt engulfed by his presence. I felt warm and safe, it felt familiar and strange and new all at once.

"I know that I have no right asking anything of you, so I'll put it this way instead. Let us both agree to give ourselves our best chance; let us continue to focus on ourselves, whatever comes our way. It's the best thing we can do for ourselves, and each other." His voice carried resolved, but it sounded hard earned.

I was silent for a moment, feeling a slight struggle within myself. Being as deep into my meditation as I suspected I must have been, I decided to save any debates that were waiting for me until after I was back and grounded. I can only assume that my silence was taken as an agreement, because he spoke again.

"If nothing else I say is remembered, please just know that I am getting to you as fast as I can. My daily conscious may not know it yet, but the part of me that is here with you now, wants to spend every possible day with you." I took a breath and a step back, but did not let go of his hands, suddenly afraid that I might find myself lost in this magical place where a soul's heart could reach me.

For a moment I tried to decipher if the presence before me really was a manifestation of his soul reaching out to me, or if my higher self was feeling particularly elaborate that day. After a moment of studying the shadow man before me I came to the conclusion that it did not really matter. The message itself was the important thing, and I reconciled that as much as I wanted us to be ready for each other, that simply wasn't the case.

I could feel my physical shape starting to return, but before I lost the shadowy essence that so perfectly connected the two of us, I closed my eyes and let my inner light encircle my being. Opening my eyes, I could see he was still dark as night, but I was a shimmering white. While we were connected by our inner essence, we were separate individuals.

"Hopefully this will serve as a reminder." I'm not sure if saying so was more for my benefit or his, but I thought I should at least say something. With reluctance I released his hands and turned to go, making a doorway which opened to a winding staircase that would bring me back down.

"You realize that I'll be able to find you that way. When we meet again, I'll notice that white light around you."

Looking over my shoulder it appeared as though a hand rested in his pocket.  Smiling I answered, "Well, it's not really for you, is it?"

He chuckled, "No, it's all for you."

...

After I came out of my meditation I had to just sit for a while and breath, trying to memorize everything that my guides told me, trying to memorize the whole experience really. Then I remembered the stones, so of course I had to remind myself of their properties. I have a little journal I keep with all of the stones in my possession as well as some brief notes about each one.

White Howlite helps with awareness. It can prepare the user or wearer to receive wisdom from the Higher Self and the Divine.

That was enough to rock my socks off. I was filled with this impending, 'This is the mother load' feeling as I flipped through the pages of my journal.

Emerald was thought to preserve love, as well as being a long time symbol of hope. It is considered by many to be the stone of prophecy. For some the emerald acts as a tranquilizer for a troubled mind.

Never before had my intuition so clearly guided me. There was still one thing I was curious about. Only once before has such a specific deity come to me, so I searched for goddesses associated with doves.

The first result I came across was a blog post talking about Aphrodite and her connection to doves. I decided to dig a little be more and found that Emerald is considered the stone of Aphrodite. My jaw dropped, I had no clue prior to any of this about those connections. My mind was officially blown.

This meditative experience is something that I am going to remember for the rest of my life. It was such a profound experience for me, so much so that I don't expect it to happen again. I am certainly open to it don't get me wrong, but meditation, whether to clear your mind or to reach out to your guides is about being open to what they have for you. I wasn't sure what I was going to get or who was going to be there (clearly!) but I trusted in the Universe, and I trusted in my guides. That is how meditations should be.

I hope that you have been enjoying the Open Heart Series so far, as there is more to come! Next I'll be sharing a few different techniques for meditating, some tips on how I've connected with my guides and how you can connect with yours.

Sending you light and love as always until next time,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

Open Heart New Moon Ritual

Hey there lovies,

Welcome to Part One of my Open Heart Mini-Series!

If you're not quiet sure what I'm talking about, I mentioned this briefly in my Plans for the Bloggity, so if you're curious pop on over there and read if you have not already. 

Following pieces of this mini series will include a picture guide to my ritual tools for the new moon ritual, a retelling of a personal meditative experience, some meditations that I find helpful and of course the resulting experience of the February Full Moon Ritual through Sage Goddess.

I should also disclose that as there are a couple of weeks to go before the full moon ritual, there may be a post or two in there that might not be a part of the series. There is more time between the next full moon than I have topics to write about, at least when it comes to love and romance.

So without further ado!

I would first like to say that I usually do not plan my rituals out prior to them taking place. Planning ahead of time is not something I have a lot of practice in since I have just recently begun trying to keep track of moon phases, and holidays, etc.

I put some thought into this ritual and wanted it to be simple, nothing overly elaborate, but at the end of the day it really is up to you. Even though I am using specific wording and specific items, when you are doing a ritual it is much more powerful to use your own words. If you're just getting started and need a little guidance, that's what my specifics are there for. But do not feel like you have to use something I said or suggested if it doesn't feel right, the ritual is for you!

When I began to think about how I wanted this ritual to go, and the focus of this ritual, I began to think of what exactly I am trying to manifest. The tricky thing about doing so is to have a very clear idea of what it is you're trying to achieve.

For me, I am working on opening my heart to extend and receive love in preparation of meeting my partner for this life. 

I've known for some time of what I am looking for in a companion, but it occurred to me that knowing specifics about a person doesn't necessarily translate to what I want out of the relationship.

I think there is a misconception that if you know the details of what kind of partner you want, that it will automatically mean that the relationship will be a long lasting, healthy, mutually beneficial, respectful, loving relationship.

There is this mentality of, 'Oh, if only I could find x, y, and z in a person; then I'd be set.' Which as nice as that sounds, isn't always the case, or even realistic. 

With that in mind, we are going to jump right in. Since I have a little more time I'll be going into a bit more detail with step by step guide lines that you can follow as they are, mix them up, add your own stuff-this is really to help you get started.

Everything that I am listing is completely optional, these are the tools I usually work with.

Candles
Incense
Paper
Writing Utensil 
Clearing Agent (besome, bell, smudge stick)
Lighter/Matches
Glass of Water
Salt

You'll want to have everything that you need before you begin. One really important aspect of doing ritual is that you a creating what is called sacred space. You are taking dedicated time to commune with your guides, you are connecting with the Universe, and your higher self.

I like to gather my things in the space I will be using, and take a few deep breaths. I usually like to clear myself first with whichever tool I decided to use. Since it is a new moon, I will be using my bell versus my sage.

Since the New Moon is time for planting seeds and new beginnings, I opt not to use sage. I associate sage with clearing all things away, negativity is the main focus, but I don't like the idea of the blessings being carried out by the smoke along with the negativity. Go with whatever your gut tells you.

As you are clearing yourself and the space you will be working in, be mindful of your breathing. Visualize the space around you being surrounded by a white shimmering veil, and once you have gone around it steals to create your sacred space.

It is so important that you cleanse your self and your work space before you do a ritual. When you create sacred space you are sending out your intentions to the Universe to manifest, regardless of what you are trying to achieve. If there is any negativity or ill feelings while you work, that will be sent out with whatever else you are working towards, and things might not go as planned.

If you're having trouble focusing before a ritual and you can't shake the not so happy juju, try mediating and clearing you mind of all things except for a white light, or whatever color you associate with calmness. Let your mind start in the dark and let that light grow brighter and brighter until you are completely encompassed and you feel that light washing away what's holding you down. Let it fill you up until you can feel it tingling in your toes and fingers and then slowly let it go. Let the calm say with you as the light dims. I find it helpful to let the light form into a little shining ball that you can pull out whenever you might need it.

Some times that's not always as helpful as we would like, so try taking a shower and letting yourself relax and unwind. A ritual bath with Epsom salt is another great way to not only clear yourself but to relax any time!

Moving right along! 

When I am clearing I have a little mantra I like to say, and again you can write your own, you can use what I say, you can go and find something on the internet-just make sure that it resonates with you. You are creating this space with your power, you want to make sure it sticks!

I usually start with the north corner and work my way around in a clockwise direction until I am back at north. (Again, this is all about your preference and what makes you comfortable.)

As I cleanse I repeat my mantra three times:

I cleanse myself of all negativity
I cleanse myself of all negativity
I cleanse myself of all negativity

I banish all negativity from this space
I banish all negativity from this space
I banish all negativity from this space

Once my circle is raised, I call the corners. I like to start with North and follow in a clockwise fashion. I also like to call my animal guides as I call the corners. I do this because I have a very strong tie to my totems, and they have all come to me in the form of an element. Most of the time they are the same guides, some times I have a special guide with me during the time of the ritual, so I let my intuition guide me.

If you have an totem that you wish to call to assist you in your goals, don't be shy, they are there to help! Invite them to join you after the corners have been called if that's what feels right to you. 

I call to the corners of the North. Element of Earth, our Mother. I ask for your presence  as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the North, Wolf. 

I always get a feeling within myself as a response, once I have received it I say,

I feel your presence Great North, and that of my guide, I thank you.

I call to the corners of the East. Element of Air, our Father. I ask for your presence  as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the East, Dragon.

I feel your presence Independent East and that of my guide, I thank you.

I call to the corners of the South. Element of Fire, ignighter of Passion and Creativity. I ask for your presence  as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the South, Horse. 

I feel your presence Spirited South and that of my guide, I thank you.

I call to the corners of the West. Element of Water, sustainer of all Life. I ask for your presence as I do work this night. Might I succeed in perfect love and perfect trust with the assistance of my guide of the West, Orca.

I feel your presence Mysterious West, and that of my guide, I thank you.

In the presence of my guides and of the Elements, I humbly invite the Lord and Lady into my circle. God and Goddess, may you watch over me and guide me in my work inside and outside of this circle. I come to you this night as I work towards my highest good, in perfect love and perfect trust, I welcome you to join me in circle tonight.

I feel your presence My Lord. I feel your presence My Lady. I thank you.

Once that is done I will usually take another deep breath and invite any other guides that might be near that wish to lend me their strength, and I thank them as well. 

At this point I usually light my incense and a candle. I state my intention for the ceremony. Because my focus is opening my heart, I'll probably say something along the lines of,

As I continue to release fear from my life, and heal my heart space, I wish to open my heart to the love of the world. I wish to extend love to those who are in need, as well as to receive love in return. My desire is to not only live free of fear but to live with true inner peace, knowing that this will ultimately serve my highest good. Let me not shy away from affection and appreciation, help me to accept them with an open and thankful heart. 

While I do ultimately wish to be connected with my twin flame, I wish to be prepared. I desire nothing more than to be what he needs as a friend, companion and partner, just as he will be for me. May I be shown the way towards this path and not be faint of heart with the work to be done. 

I ask this from a place of deep humility and respect for divine timing. Let this take place only to fulfill my highest good as I hope to use all of this life's experiences to help heal the world. May I find and maintain the strength in surrender as I send this intention to the four corners of the earth, to the ends of the Universe and beyond. 

I would then verbally tie off my intention, most commonly seen is the, 'So mote it be.'
I've used to in the past, but I've switched mine up a bit. 

Now is the time that I would pull out that paper and writing implement and begin to write. You can write what you ideal relationship would entail, characteristics of your next partner, all of the things that you want to express with your healed heart, it's up to you!

Once I am done writing, I will fold up the papers and put them somewhere safe, but where I will not be seeing them everyday. One thing I learned recently, and it has been a hard lesson, is that when you are working with your intentions the best way for them to manifest is to set them and forget them.

By sending them out to the Universe you are saying, "This is what I would like to happen, and I am trusting you with the timing." That's not to say that you stop working towards your goals, they won't get accomplished by themselves. It just means that you don't stress about them, you don't obsess over them. You do your part and the Universe will do the same.

If you have specific tools that you will be working with to help you on your journey, this is the perfect time to dedicate them. I like anointing my tools, so if you have an essential oil, or you could even use your incense depending on what you're burning.

Example: "I dedicate [insert tool here] to the God and Goddess as I work towards [insert goal here.] May it assist me in reaching my highest good, in perfect love and perfect trust."

It can be as simple as that. By dedicating tools, they become physical reminders of the work that you are doing. They are infused with the power of the ritual, of the divine, of your guides, and the elements. For example if you're working on self love you might choose a piece of Rose Quartz, if you're having a tough day, hold that stone in you hand, or to your heart and feel the love and dedication that is charged within that stone. It might end up helping more then you think.

Last thing I would like to mention is that I like to have a little offering to the Lord and Lady. I like to use regular water and salt. Mind you this can be a small glass of water and a teaspoon of table salt, it can be whatever you have on hand. At the end of the ritual before I release the circle and my guides, I hold each item in my hands and say something like,

In my hand I hold the element of the Lord/Lady. May you accept this offering as a token of my gratitude for your guidance and your presence here tonight.

Once I have done so with both offerings, I take a little bit of salt and sprinkle it into the water. 

As you love and respect each other, I love and respect you. As the two of you are one, am I one with you. As you have graced me with your presence in helping me toward my highest good, so I will go out to the world and help others towards theirs. I thank you for your presence this night. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.

Once I feel their presence leave the circle I release my guides and the elements, once again starting from the North, releasing each one in turn.

Once everyone and thing has been released, it is time to release the circle. To do that, you'll want to go counterclockwise, or just the opposite way that you went when you were raising the circle. 

As I release my circle, I usually have a little bit I like to add on to the end,

As I release this circle, may my intentions be released to fulfill the greatest good of all, with harm to none, in free will, so mote it be.

I realize that this post is LONG as all get out, but I felt that it was important to share. I know when I first started doing ritual, I took a little bit from here and there, but it was hard for me to get started without any real direction. Making ritual your own is important but it's nice to have a frame of reference to work with.

If you made it all the way through this post, HOORAY!!! I hope this has been helpful! I will also be making a second post with pictures of what specifically I will be using, so that will be coming to you as well!

Be sure to stay tuned for that as well as the new Weekly Oracle Card coming on Sunday!

Sending light and love to you and yours,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn

My Guardian Angel

Good day lovies,

Today I want to write about friendship, unconditional love, support, intuition, and what has to be divine design.

I haven't felt particularly called to write about the specific people in my life, at least until now. During my birthday trip I had the opportunity to spend almost an entire day with one of the most amazing women I have had the fortune to meet, her name is Yvonne.

Yvonne and I met two and a half years ago when I was closing up shop at my place of employment at the time. She was with a few of her family members who happened to be looking for some party favors and they happened upon my store roughly ten minutes before closing. I was standing at the front when they entered and greeted them offering assistance. After pointing them in the right direction, one of the ladies stayed behind and struck up a conversation with me.

It started off casually enough, a conversation much like I would have with any other customer. Then she asked me what my sign was. Without missing a beat I told her Capricorn, she smiled and let out a laugh. She started describing my sign, painting a picture much closer to my actual personality,

"You're someone who, once a decision is made, you stick to it. There's no dancing back and forth, you're solid in your choices."

It had only been a few months since I had made a decision that would change the course of my life-I had ended a nearly ten year long relationship and had decided to move home to start over. That was several months off, but I still felt the weight of all that had been transpiring.

I nodded with a weary sigh I replied, "I have to be, there's no other option."

This petite, five foot and a half elderly woman took one hard look at me and said so matter a fact, "You've been through hell, girl." that it was as if she had seen the ghosts of that's summers events through my eyes.

I cracked a weak smile, "Ah, I'm still here though." My smile gained some strength after the words left me. In those days it was hard to remember that I was in fact still there.

Our conversation carried on and she told me how she was a palm and card reader. As if this woman wasn't interesting enough, now she had really piqued my interest. I shared with her how I had just begun study the tarot after a two year dry spell.

Before we knew it her group had finished their shopping and it was time for us to close up, I hurried to the register and grabbed a scrap of paper scribbling down my name, number and the name of my store.

"I don't give my number out to people, but I would really love to have coffee with you some time."  Her face lit up, and she promised to call within the next couple of days.

I remember being delighted to hear from her, and the nervousness I felt as I made my way to her home for a reading. Not only had I given a complete stranger my phone number, but I was going to her house for coffee and a palm reading. She encouraged me to bring my cards to read her as well, I did as she asked, and it was the first time I had done a tarot reading for anyone other then myself.

That day Yvonne and I made a connection unlike any other I have ever experienced. She met a young woman who had just begun trying to sort out her life, was trying to find her place in the world, and most importantly, was trying to find herself for the first time in years.

She was kind, and understanding. As I told my story she listened without judgement and saw in myself what I could not; my strength. For having been a complete stranger, Yvonne was able to see into my heart and soul, and shared her own with me.

Almost every time we meet we exchange readings and we speak of the world and of spiritual things. Despite being on potentially opposite sides of the spectrum, we both believe wholeheartedly on what the world needs; love, tolerance, patience, compassion, kindness. The beliefs that we do share are much more important to us then our differences, because at the end of the day, it's not all that we are.

Yvonne is a devout Catholic, whose grandmother was a first generation Spaniard in America who taught her the art of palm reading and reading cards. She has gone on to teach her granddaughters as well. There have been those who are opposed to her abilities, and insist that she is being assisted by the devil.

She shakes her head and tells me,

"I know that what I do is not evil, because it comes from God. I do what I do to help people, and I do it because He works through me. Just as I believe he works through you. It's a gift of the Holy Spirit and I don't intend to waste such a gift."

Me being a pagan I worried that we wouldn't be able to maintain a friendship. She told me very firmly once that she believed heart and soul that God had brought us together, and only God would be able to separate us. I always insist that He not take her too soon, that I've only had so much time with her and that I need more. She laughs every time and reassures me she's not going anywhere.

I absolutely, truly love this woman, and everything about her. I didn't believe in angels before I met Yvonne, but I certainly do now.

One of my favorite things about Yvonne is that she is an artist. An amazing, wonderful, incredibly talented artist, and it began with a vision. It's a story that she has told me twice, and that I have had the privilege to hear her share with others. But since it is her story to tell, I will not share it here. I will say that it had such a profound impact on her, and though I didn't see it clearly before I see it now.

Yvonne was sent to me to be a confidant, a friend, a mentor, a support, and a guide. She is my guardian angel, sent to watch over me, protect me, encourage me, and to help keep me on the right path.

I thank the gods, hers and mine, everyday that it was in the cards for us to meet during this life. She has such a special place in my heart, I know that I would not be where I am without her.

During out last visit she allowed me to pick two cards that she does the art work for, and right now she is producing them herself. I have four in total now that I wanted to share below.

The art work is followed by the name of the art and poetry that she writes herself on the back.

©Yvonne Rice

©Yvonne Rice

©Yvonne Rice

©Yvonne Rice

©Yvonne Rice

©Yvonne Rice

©Yvonne Rice

©Yvonne Rice

I can only hope that one day I can shine and share as much light and love as she has given me.

The Universe surprised me with a guardian angel as an earthly guide, who I know will continue to guide me to the end of my days. I hope to have many more years with you, Yvonne.

Sending you light and love dearies.

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn