Tarot Card of 2016

Hey loves,

I don't know about the rest of you, but this year has been a serious roller coaster ride. There have been so many changes it's hard to keep track of them all. Some of the changes I brought on consciously, others came unexpectedly, most of which were welcome, others not so much.

If I had the presence of mind to look into this at the beginning of the year, I might have been a tad more prepared, because my tarot card for this year is in fact, the Tower.

The Tower and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves to show up and I tend to hate it whenever it does, at first at least. Even though I am late in the year for pulling this card, I can feel the ripple of energy that began when the clock struck twelve on January first.

I started of the year in relationship that I quickly got out of, spent a few weeks single before connecting with my new partner, I've changed jobs twice, I've had the opportunity to meet my niece and nephew for the first time whom I now try to see on a weekly basis, I began the process of releasing dozens of item from my past that I no longer felt a need to hold onto, I started journaling and writing just for myself, I've connected with new and old guides and I found the synchronicity of two paths that I feel such a strong connection and pull towards.

Those are the good things, and I am grateful that there have been so many to balance out the few but traumatic events that have come with them. When times are difficult, I hold onto the good things, and I try to remind myself that balance is necessary in all things, but it can't always be maintained on it's own.

I'm realizing how much I crave balance, and as I am being confronted by and attempting to work through the greatest darkness I've come across in this life time, I'm learning a whole new respect for myself.

When I look at the Tower card, I can relate to the character who is jumping in an effort to save herself, where as the other character looks like they are being thrown by the force of the lightening strike, this character looks as though they will surely hit the rocks and may not survive (given what we can see from the picture.) The character on the left however looks as though they may miss the rocks and avoid further damage.

The character in red knew that there was no other way out, and even though jumping was a risk, it was a risk they were willing to take, it feels to me that this woman in red put her faith in what she held true to her heart, and took a leap of faith.

We don't necessarily know the fate of these two figures, but I see is that the destruction of the tower, perhaps their metaphorical walls, cause them to make the choice to crumble along with the stones, or to move on and to move towards something new, perhaps even something better.

What I experience earlier this year was traumatic and awful and some would say down right evil. There were times I felt myself caving in just like that tower, but I had friends, and family, and my partner to help me push the rubble aside, and lent me their strength and courage to rebuild.

Destruction before creation, death followed by rebirth, the ebb and flow of Source.

If you are new to my blog and have not had a chance to read about last year's tarot card, and want to find your own tarot card for the year, here's how.

This idea is based on numerology using your birth month and day, and the current year.

I will use my own as an example, my birth month and day are, 12/31 and of course the year is 2016. So you will take each number individually and add them together, like this:

1+2+3+1+2+0+1+6

When you add it all together you come to 16.

If you come up with a larger number than the number of major arcana cards then you take your two digit number and add those two numbers together.

The deck I used for this year's card was the DruidCraft Tarot by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm. The deck was my first ever, as it was a birthday gift from my folks when I was first starting on my path, it is a deck I highly recommend.

With that, I wish you all the best,

Light and love to you and yours,

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Behind Door Number Four

Hey there loves,

I have honestly thought about writing this piece over and over again, and while I think a part of me always intended to, I never quite felt like the timing was right. And I cannot specifically say why I feel compelled to do so now, only that I do, so here I am.

I think it's safe to say that I have never given any sort of disclaimer in any of my work prior to this, but I will say before I get started that the topic of this piece may very well cause discomfort in the least and be a trigger at the worst.

It's a topic that seems to be flooding our social media feeds, perhaps spoken with caution in groups, sparking outrage and bringing change across the world, slowly if not surely.

I am going to talk to you today about rape.

Here in America, someone is raped roughly every two minutes, a rape is reported roughly every six minutes, and one in six women experience sexual assault in their life time. One out of every ten rape victims are male.

It would be easy to tell you that I wanted to discuss this topic because it is such a deafening problem, which is true, but it wouldn't be the whole truth; and while it's also true that this blog is meant to be a place to talk about my path, and to share and to hopefully help to educate and inspire others who perhaps face some of the same struggles that I myself have faced - this topic falls under that category.

Because I was raped nearly three months ago.

Of all the events in my life thus far that have caused me to question my life, and my path, this definitely did it. This experience has challenged me in ways that I didn't know I could be challenged, and I struggle with it every single day.

This is an event that can potentially change literally everything about a person.

I have seen some very dark times, and one way or another I have managed to come out it for the better.

This was the first time that I genuinely questioned my ability to come back from what I was experiencing. For the first week following the rape I could barely sleep, I didn't want to eat, and I cried almost continuously.

It took me four days to work up the courage to go to the police. By that time just about all of the physical evidence was gone, so all I was left with was my statement and the clothes I had been wearing that night. Despite the lack of a rape kit, I went to the hospital to be treated for any potential STIs.

Over the next couple of weeks I struggled to re-assimilate myself back into my life between constant emotional breakdowns, and phone calls from the officer working my case seeking as much detail and clarification for the report that would later be sent to the DA's office. It would be almost two months before I received a call informing me that they had received the police report. They told me that it would be thirty days to process the report.

Within that time I shared what had happened to me with only a few members of my immediate family, and just as many friends. I ended up quitting my job because I was unable to work reliably, and I began to wonder if I would ever be able to find a way to be comfortable in the world again.

I literally hated being alive. I felt dirty and unwanted in my body. I showered compulsively wanting to scrub away the ghost who had so violently violated not just my body but my trust, and at times I found myself simply scrubbing until my skin was red.

I forced myself to quit crying because I was so afraid of being lost in that darkness of hating myself. I would barely sleep because all of my dreams were the shadows of what I remembered from that night.

I could so scarcely feel the old self, I wondered if she even existed. I fought the constant waves of guilt for my situation and argued inside of my own head for hours about what I could have or should have done differently to prevent what happened to me.

There was the reminiscence of the old me who knew that it wasn't my fault, that regardless of circumstance; rape is never justified, but I could only hear her part of the time and her voice was so quiet, like a half-hearted whisper being carried away on the wind.

It took some searching, but I was able to find a counselor who specialized in sexual assault victims. The first several sessions were filled with the tears I had denied myself, and while there was a part of me that hated myself for doing so, the other side felt so relieved to be able to simply let it go, because that's what you're supposed to do in counseling, right?

It's only been three months, and I am still here. It took some doing but I managed to find my footing again and I was able to find a new job. I still have trouble sleeping and some days I need to remind myself to eat.

I look back and find it almost hard to believe that it's only been a few short months. Each day is so long and carries so much weight with it, but then in the blink of an eye a week has gone by.

I don't know what might happen next when it comes to the legalities.

But I do know that I've made it this far. And even though I don't go a day without thinking about that night, and right now I see multiple things a day that remind me of the individual, I've gotten to a place where I don't hate myself any more.

I don't blame myself for the selfish, destructive actions of another. I found the strength within myself to take back the reins of my life. I may not have been physically able to stop what happened, but I can and do say no to anyone else running my life.

Truth be told I have been very lucky, I have received nothing but support, compassion, and encouragement from those I have shared my story with. Too many never hear or experience those things, and I have been given nothing but that and more.

For all of the struggle and trauma I have lived through prior to this, I feel confident in saying that I don't think I would have made it through without the love and support of my friends and family.

Whether my case continues to move forward or it does not, this is just the beginning of this particular journey. Being a survivor of sexual assault has changed my life forever, I will never be the same person that I was before.

To quote a friend of mine,

"This is the only piece of you he is ever going to have."

If there's one thing more I can do for myself, it's to make sure it's the smallest damn piece manageable. Every day that I wake up and choose to take one step closer to the self that I know I can be, that piece gets a little smaller.

I remind myself of that when the I can't sleep or when I have a day where I feel that guilt threatening to come back. Some days are harder than others, and some days I have to hold onto the stubborn nature that tells me that I cannot let him win.

Because every day that I live my life, every day that I find a reason to smile, to laugh, every day that I feel sincere gratitude for the gifts that I receive from the Universe, is a victory.

One in every six women experience sexual assault, one in every ten rape victims are male.

It heart breaks every time I see a headline telling the story of another victim. Roughly one in a thousand rape cases result in jail time. I find myself crying multiple times a day, it doesn't get easier seeing those things.

It's easy to feel like the steps I've taken thus far are pointless, because how special could my case be? What about my experience, my testimony could be so radically different where I receive judicial justice?

To be perfectly honest, I don't expect it at all. I am hopefully. I pray and plead with my gods every day to not let this happen to someone else who perhaps is too frightened to come forward, who is eaten alive by shame.

Whatever the legal outcome of my case is, I can walk away knowing that I have done everything within my power. So much of this feels as though it's out of my hands, and it's frustrating having to wait for a voice on the other line that might never call.

It's difficult to trust that things will work out the way that they should. It's difficult to believe that one day, all of this will be behind me, and that I'll eventually look back on this have a thick layer of scar tissue to point to as an example of yet another battle wound.

But then I see all that I have written here, and I recall the day sitting down on a couch terrified of telling my boyfriend of two months at that time, that I had been raped less than twelve hours earlier. I recall his anger and confusion and his heartbreak, I remember his gentle strength as he held my hand at the police station, and the look of certainty in his eyes every time he told me that together we would make it through this.

Of all the things that have changed because of this incident, there are some things that I refuse to let change.

I will never stop loving people, I will never allow myself to be hardened to the point where I care nothing for the people around me, whether by choice or necessity.

I will not remain silent. I refuse to let what happened to me be buried without any resolve, whether by judicial means or by simply owning my own trauma and one day using it to help be the strength for others who struggle with similar obstacles.

I will always trust that there is a positive to balance the negative, even if I can't always see it.

For all of those who have personally been a victim, or know a victim of sexual assault, know that you are not alone. You do not have to feel ashamed, you are not responsible for another's actions.

You are loved, you are cherished, you are worth it.

Light and love to you,

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Out of the Closet, Breaking the Silence

Hey there loves,

I wish that today I had something light and cheerful to talk about. An update about the changes happening with my life, an amazing interaction I had with my guides, a recent gathering of my Circle, instead I'm writing with frustration, heartbreak, and the burning need to just say something.

Early Sunday morning, on June 12th occured the deadliest mass shooting in American history.  The last time I wrote about a shooting was last October, which you can read about here if you so choose. I will say that since writing that article, there have been a number of events that have caused me to consider the beliefs and philosophies that I hold, and despite all of the, I still hold fast to the conclusions I came to last year.

As difficult as holding onto my beliefs can be some times, I always end up finding comfort in them, but what's more - they motivate me. Ultimately I am encouraged to take a stand, to be a voice, to be a contributor to change.

One thing I will say that is that it can be disheartening, and even exhausting to fight for what's right, to put in so much time and effort into making change and then not see any change, or at least not see any immediate change.

Seeing the same tragedies happen again and again, and some times we can't help but wonder what in the possible hell is it going to take for the people that we as citizens have asked to represent us to do just that. But not just that, but to protect us.

To be clear, I say that not just as an American citizen, not just as a woman or as a pagan but as a member of the LBGTQA community as I am bisexual.

If memory serves this is the first time I have mentioned this particular aspect of myself, and while it's something I've felt the need to share this before, I want to clarify that I feel compelled to share now because I don't want to let this horrible event to be one more reason to hide.

Previous to tonight, I always told myself that I didn't mention my sexuality very often mostly because I didn't really feel the need to. I've always been fairly selective about who I shared this part of my life with because I didn't want to deal with the potential ridicule, the questions about why I haven't dated more women, or the possibility of whoever I told simply not believing that bisexuality is a real thing.

But events such as these are committed by those who are hateful, fearful, and desperate to cling to anything that allows them to stay that way. Which is their prerogative - until they lash out, and are allowed to commit heinous acts by those who to stick their heads in the sand and remain silent.

I choose to not be silenced by fear. I refuse to be a part of the problem by not being a part of the change. I'm lucky in that I live in a fairly liberal state, and that the elected officials for my state tend to vote the way I hope that they do.

I live in a place that is fairly accepting of people because they are just that - people.

I'll admit that I felt afraid to say something up until now about this because I didn't want to make it about me, because this tragedy, this horrific event is so much bigger than myself.

But the truth is that it's about every single person who is afraid to walk outside their doors; who are afraid to get on the internet or check their emails; who are afraid of losing their friends, their family, their jobs; those who are afraid to really live their lives because they might be risking those lives by simply being, by simply being brave enough to love.

I came across this video today from someone that I've been subscribed to for a long time. It moved me in so many ways, and was definitely the biggest contributor to me writing this article. I've shared the video on my personal Facebook page, and I'll be sharing it here as well.

I encourage you to watch it, to share it, to take action and to contribute to positive change, to be brave.

Hannah Hart: I'm Afraid of You

Never doubt that you can make a difference, never doubt that your voice has merit, never doubt that you are loved and cherished and are needed by those around you, even those who will never know you.

Love conquers fear.

Light and love to you,
to all of those who have been affected by acts of hate,
we are with you.

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Ostara's Easter and the Self Love of the Sacral

Hey loves,

It's been some time since I've felt compelled to write, even though I think about this blog almost every single day. Some times it takes something out of the everyday routine to prompt the urge, even the need to write.

As I'm sure most of you know by now, assuming you've been with me before - I've been on my path for a good while now, and if I'm being frank, half of my family is on what most folks would consider the other side of the fence.

As with most most holidays, my family wanted to spend Easter together, even if it was only a meal - which we had planned to do after they had attended a church service in the morning.

It was perhaps a week and a half prior to these plans when my mother called me. I knew from the moment she got on the phone that something was on her mind. Her tone was more than enough to tell me that whatever she was going to say was going to be difficult for her.

To my relief, it was not a family emergency, it was something considerably more simple.

She wanted me to go to church with them.

Now, my mother knows that I have a different belief system, one that she personally cannot condone or understand; mostly I think because she's already made up her mind about it.

Unlike me, I don't think she's ever doubted her faith or her beliefs, which I genuinely commend her for - so much of the pain and trails she's experienced, we experienced together.

The moment I heard her voice crack, I knew what she was going to ask me.

"I know that you have different beliefs, and we've never talked about them. But it really would me so much if you came to church."

"Oh Mom, it's okay."

"I don't want it to be like my parents where beliefs are pressured to the point where it causes problems, but-"

"Mom. I love you, and I respect you; and if it means that much to you, of course I'll go."

She pulled herself together after that, and I decided not to ask her the main question that was on my mind.

What exactly did she think that church was going to do for me? What about this Easter service was going to reach me in such a way that I could potentially, completely change my way of thinking?

In this particular instance, it only reaffirmed my stance, and strengthened my resolve.

In the midst of counting everything of pagan origin in an attempt to not fall asleep, something about the message for today got to me. As might be expected, the sermon was all about Jesus being resurrected and how it was good news for us all; because we'd finally be able to get into heaven.

While I will not go into every single piece that I disagreed with, there is one that I refuse to be silent about.

While his sermon was unorganized, poorly rehearsed, and over all lacking; this preacher had enough nerve to tell every person sitting in the audience, that they are broken.

This was by no means a small congregation - they were recording from a number of locations and streaming it live online. I don't want to make any grand assumptions about the tax free institution but I think it's fair to say he was quite ballsy in his accusation.

I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of telling a complete stranger that I've never even made eye contact with, that they are broke, unworthy, and really rather pointless without my perspective of what my higher power looks like, is nothing short of egotistical.

As I sat there in that auditorium, I was fuming. I no longer cared if my distaste and displeasure was obvious to anyone. In fact, I even hoped that he would look over and see how disgusted I felt. I hoped that from where I was in my seat, that he could feel the echos of what it really meant to be broken.

To feel that sense of helplessness, of emptiness; the feeling of complete and utter self loathing and failure that comes with being broken. I wanted more than anything for a single moment for him to experience the way the breath catches as one inches towards to edge of oblivion, and the terror of uncertainty even at the brink of making the unchangeable decision to finally release and let go, or to hang on with nothing but the bleeding chips that were once fingernails.

I physically craved for him to know this darkness. I felt my own ego crying out for him to choke on his words as he attempted to pick apart the idea of "different roads leading to the same end" and how by doing that it leaves each individual the ultimatum of deciding what 'good' really means.

At this point I'm sure I could go off on a tangent about balance between light and darkness, good and evil. I could string together pretty words about how the freedom to choose is in fact a blessing and a curse, and that there really is no such thing as 'not choosing' because when it comes to so much of life, there is always a choice.

If I'm being completely honest at this point, this has without a doubt been one of the most difficult articles for me to write. It's taken several attempts not just with trying to convey my ideas and feelings, but also several rounds of technical issues in which everything below the previous paragraph was lost.

More than once the time and effort felt wasted, in one instance I became enraged that for whatever reason there was nothing saved because I was so proud of the picture I had spun together reaching so far and deep within me to create and it was simply gone.

Easter was back in March, and even if this post was going to be a few weeks late, the subject matter was such that I felt it was justified with so much to process. As I am sitting here now reading back over everything, those emotions feel like an echo of someone who felt wronged by a stranger who will never know my name, never know my story; because to him they are all the same in the end.

And maybe for him that's true, and if so, then that's his prerogative. But in the end what it boiled down to me was that he has a very different idea of what love is, and means. From where I'm standing his love feels shallow and weak, and conditional.

I cannot speak for anyone else by myself, but I sincerely believe that love doesn't last without sincere dedication, hard work, struggle, and often times, pain.

They say that nothing worth having is easy/easily obtained. And I genuinely believe that.

While I might not feel like this everyday, at the core of my being, I am grateful for the trials I've experienced. I'm grateful for the people who made life difficult because it lead me to the people who helped me see the strength within myself to conquer those trials.

I'm grateful that I found a belief system that believes in me as I am, accepts me as I am, and doesn't ask me to change unless it's for my greater good. I'm grateful that I belief in such a way that encourages me to love and accept everyone around me for the who they are, even if I don't necessarily agree with them.

With all of that being said, I'm grateful for that preacher. Because not only did he reinforce that I'm on the right path for my personal growth and life, but he also helped me grow from a place of resentment to a place of gratitude.

One of the most beautiful things about self love is that once you find it, you stop concerning yourself with those who lack self love. And when you do interact with those people, they don't have the ability to feed that sense of self loathing because you've already fed it with love and understanding and compassion, which you can then share with those who are also looking for it.

When I originally began this journey through my chakras, I had the idea to go through them within a years time, spending approximately seven weeks on each chakra.

I however have spend the last three months working with this one chakra, and have only move on to the Solar Plexus chakra this past week.

My original intention was not so much to limit myself to working with each one for a set amount of time, but more to deepen my admittedly basic knowledge and to widen my tool set on how to work with each one.

I'm also coming to understand that when I move on to the next chakra, I take the essence of the previous chakras with me, I continue to work with them, it's more that my focus shifts to the next, not my entire self.

Some of the tools I used while focusing on my sacral charka were the Aloha Bay candles, both pillar and tealight, Sun's Eye Sacral Chakra oil, and the stones I used were Orange Calcite and Yellow Jasper.

I didn't do to much meditation on this chakra as much as self evaluation. I also had many discussions with those of like mind who are on similar paths, as I was not only curious for their input but I also rely on their council.

I am going to leave you with this amazing affirmation I found while simply scrolling through some photos, not only because I think it applies to everything I discussed here but because I was so sincerely moved by it's words. I feel it also ties into the next subject I'll be talking about here Through the Secret Door.

Until next time my loves,

Light, love, and blessings to you all,

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Facing My Chakras

Hey there loves,

This article was originally started on January 25th and was only lacking a few links below when my eyes and brain decided that I needed sleep. I considered changing the flow of the beginning, but decided that it was just as well that leave it.

I hope you enjoy!

Happy Mercury Goes Direct Day!

If you're not sure what that means, that's okay. If you're curious, you can follow the link here and learn all about Mercury Retrograde.

For those who are familiar with Mercury's patterns, you'll possibly be a little more understanding as to why I've stayed a bit on the down low, especially since my current laptop has been having technically problems without Mercury's help.

One thing about Mercury Retrograde that I do love though, is the opportunity to really spend those few weeks looking inward, and focusing on what magic I can work not only for myself but also for others.

I'm learning more and more how much I avoided healing for so long, and how severally it affected nearly every aspect of my life. The Universe has really had to poke and prod me to this point but I've been awakening and warming up to the idea of stepping into my role as a healer.

When I first went in to write that last sentence, I almost wrote "...idea of becoming a healer." Spirit made me stop and really think about that statement.

As broken has I have been and as low as I've found myself, I've always had this goal, this gift, this purpose; of being a healer, being a spiritual guide, of being the light for those who feel too frightened to take the necessary steps.

There were times in the last couple of years where my struggles overflowed into the lives of my loved ones because due to the lack of control I possessed when it came to what I was attempting to work through.

After making a series of changes, I've begun moving to a place where I'm able to not only see my soul's purpose, but my passion as well. I have no illusions about putting myself on any kind of time frame as to how long it will take for this to turn into a career or anything along those lines. For now I am viewing this journey as my own way of thanking the Universe for its support and guidance, and as a promise to not turn a blind eye or to tune out the messages I receive.

One adventure that I've decided to embark on for this year (2016) is I am going to be working on and paying special attention to my chakras.

I've known about the concept of chakras for a few years, and even received a chakra necklace as a birthday gift around 2010 - and it's just now that I am really open to how they work, how they affect everyday life, and what I can do to help myself by being aware of them.

If this is your first time hearing about chakras, there is a channel on Youtube called Spirit Science that has a couple of videos about chakras that make it really easy to understand that I really enjoyed. Here's the link for that: Intro to Chakras.

At the end of the year I am hoping that I'll be able to write an article combining the knowledge I've gained, what I will be doing different for the following year, as well as any tips I picked up along the way.

When I decided that this would be one of my self projects for this year, I was trying to determine how much time I should spend working on each chakra. With there being seven (main) chakras, I wanted to spend a good amount of time with each one, but stick to the one year time frame, starting from root to crown.

After doing a little math, I landed on working with each chakra for seven weeks. Seven chakras, seven weeks landed me with 49 weeks, leaving me with three weeks to play with.

As I go along however, I will be sharing the tools I am using for my work with each chakra.  The main tools that I have been using are; candles, stones, meditation, and essential oil. I'll make sure to include links to my favorite meditations.

The candles I have been using are from Aloha Bay. About this time last year when I was working on healing my heart space, which I wrote about in my Open Heart Series, I burned the heart chakra candles.

The smell is amazing, they burn beautifully and they come in two different sizes. I've also been using Root Chakra essential oil from Sun's Eye. They smell fantastic, and prior to acquiring my oil burner I would just take a wiff or two whenever I needed some grounding and reminding of my work.

I've been working with a couple of different stones to connect and to help heal my root chakra. The first stone I've been working with is garnet. Partially because it is a root chakra stone but also because it's a good stone for Capricorn, which I am.

 The other stone I've been working with Carnelian. Another good stone for Caps, and I learned that it can be used to with the first three chakras; root, sacral and solar plexus - but I'll be using other stones when I'm ready to move one.

As an additional way to connect and become more aware, I've been working with the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Cards by Tori Hartman. One the full and new moons I pull a card to see which chakra needs some healing and love, because I believe it's important to not ignore the rest while I might be focusing on one.

A friend purchased the set, and was kind enough to let me work with them a little bit, and I fell in love with them. I fully intend on acquiring my own.

One card in particular as come up almost every time I pulls cards, which I think is really quiet beautiful.

 "You are being given a chance to awaken to a new life. You may need to deepen your roots and anchor yourself by taking stock of what you would like to create. This is a time to start again and grow a strong foundation."

Before I even decided to begin this journey with my chakras, this card came to me, and I have to say it's repeated appearance serves as a reminder and a re-enforcement for the path that I am starting on.

Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I will be ready and able to write about my tarot card for 2016 as well as the card's counter part as I believe it could also give some additional insights.

I mentioned above that I have been using meditation as a tool to assist me in connecting with my root chakra, here are the three that I have found that I really enjoy.

They vary in length, as some times you have more time to meditate some days than others.

I'm including three different Root Chakra meditations, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and 25 minutes.

This ten minute meditation is composed of beautiful singing bowls. Perfect if you only have a few minutes, and just want to get in touch with your root chakra.

Singing Bowl Root Chakra Meditation

This next meditation is the one I started out with. It's almost a half an hour long, and it's guided, which can be incredibly helpful if you're not used to meditating, or if you're new to working with your chakras, like I am.

Guided Root Chakra Meditation

This meditation is probably my favorite one, it's a good amount of time and really gets you connected with your root chakra. One thing I will say about this meditation is that rather than having any kind of call back, it just ends.

I would recommend setting some kind of timer for a minute or so after the meditation ends to help bring you back, I've also found that wiggling fingers and toes helps to bring back the feeling of being grounded; and I always encourage people I work with to take their time coming out of a meditative state.

Deepak Chopra Root Meditation

I hope you find these meditations helpful, and that if you do begin your own journey working on your chakras, please know that there is no 'appropriate time frame' to work on each one.

Light, love, and blessings to you all,

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

From 2015 to 2016

Greetings and Salutations to one and all back Through the Secret Door and to 2016!

For my regular readers I am back for the first time since Samhain, or the first of November and am thrilled to be back here with you. 

For those who have just stumbled across my blog, a warm welcome to you! In this space I not only share about my personal journey through this life of mine, as short as it has been so far; but I also share about my adventures, my struggles, and the main reason - my personal practice as a pagan. 

Just as a child learns as they grow and develops new interests and passions, so do we all when we discover more and more about ourselves.

2015 was really about my finding where I was supposed to be, getting my feet on the ground and finding the stability and security that had been lacking in my life previously. 

That's not to say that I am out of the woods by any means, but I feel confident in moving forward and have relatively no fear. Which if you've been with me since last year, you know has previously been a huge struggle. 

In addition to facing and working through anxiety, depression, and at the worst of it suicidal thoughts, I am happy to be starting a new year with new goals, new hopes, new dreams and new focus. 

One of the things I learned about myself last year was that as much as I loved being in school, I simply don't learn some subjects the same way that others do. I also discovered that part of the reason I seemed to cling to the idea of school so tightly was that it was a part of a dream that I had so long ago. It was one of the few things that still appeared to carry weight from such a different part of my life that I couldn't help but think that it was what I needed to do. 

As of now I am on hiatus from traditional higher education. When I originally had to take leave from school I was angry and frustrated and confused because I thought that I was on the path that I was meant to be on, and when it came down to not being able to afford school and living simultaneously, I was devastated. 

Life was pretty rocky for me over the next several months until I made my first posting at the beginning of June. 

After getting settled and finding my footing a bit, I was almost thrown into a world with others so much like myself; young, bright individuals who saw greater things for this world who were all trying to make it somehow in this strange, unrelenting, and some times unforgiving world. 

Making such immediate connections was one of the last things I could have expected but I am overtly grateful for the magic that brought us all together. 

Between the months of June through September my circle and I joined in ritual, meditation and community as we learned about each other, ourselves and our place here on Earth.

I was fortunate to spend a couple of months as a reader with the Portland Psychic Gallery and hope to return to it as a regular this year.

In August I was surprised by my guides and the Universe as once again magic took hold and introduced me to my current partner. I won't spend too much time on that particular piece as it could be a post all on its own, and may very well be. 

By the time my last post of 2015 was published I had accepted a second, seasonal position and am now a regular member during high traffic times as well as reclaimed my previous supervisory position with my permanate employer.

As I look ahead into 2016 I am excited to continue with an open heart to the blessings awaiting me and of course to those that are already on their way to me. 

I am diving into learning and working with chakras on a deeper level. Up until now I've had a rather basic knowledge but this year, both my boyfriend and I will focusing on our chakras one by one.

I will also be attending my first public ritual - ever. This ritual will be celebrating Imbolc, which you may recall is one of my favorite Sabbats. I even picked up the new book from Llewellyn's Sabbat Essentials - Imbolc Rituals, Recipes & Lore for Brigid's Day by Carl F. Neal.

If you need a refresher on this holiday or are simply curious, check out the article I wrote about this holiday last year: Imbolc and the Festival of Lights.

I will attending my first ever magical conference come April and I am very much looking forward to that also. If you're interested in the events and want to know more, I'll leave the links below for you.

http://www.nwmagicconference.com/

https://www.facebook.com/events/522818337885319/

https://www.facebook.com/ColumbiaADF/

I hope to be able to return to pulling a monthly tarot and weekly oracle card for my lovely readers on a regular basis as before and will probably begin that again next week.

I'll also be writing about my tarot card for 2016 and reflecting on my tarot card for 2015, so stay tuned for that!

For now my dears, I say goodnight and wish you all the sweetest of dreams.

In light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2016 Thealynn Oceanna Rosewolf

Samhain Crossroads

Hey there lovelies,

 A couple of weeks back I shared my second book review, and was prepared and ready to sit down and write my article on Samhain just like I have for the last few holidays, and as you can see, I did not.

In the end I felt called to spend the day quietly with my boyfriend, reflecting and embracing the changes that have come my way, the difficulties of the earlier part of the year, and how I intended to spend the remainder of the calendar year.

At the beginning of this year I was excited and motivated, and determined that 2015 would be my year. It has definitely been on of the most difficult years of my short life, admittedly a lot of the struggles I faced were self made, and thus the majority of this year has been about taking responsibility and finding ways to regroup, amend, and move forward.

These are subjects that I have spoken of in the past, and I suspect that the journey is just beginning. Three and a half years ago my world collapsed and I was forced to start fresh. It was a necessary trial and I wouldn't necessarily say I'm grateful for the pain that was endured, but it did place me in a position to begin working through the negativity and way of life that kept me frozen; chained to those around me. I had built my life around people, and once they were gone I didn't remember what life was like before them.

This past year held a similar lesson. This past year has been a challenge to face certain truths about myself, and learning how I possess all the power I could ever need to live any kind of life I choose.

The struggles, the mistakes, the hiding away-they were all conscious decisions I made because I believed myself too weak to choose better for myself.

Maintaining this mentality that I have complete control over my life, that I choose everything about this life is not an easy task, and in fact it's painful some times-but it's always temporary.

I've made jokes in the past about faith being a crutch, about how if I had known how difficult it can be to believe this way, how I might have chosen differently.

But what I have come to realize it that the pain, the uncertainty, and the self doubt are really just growing pains.

Per tradition, I meditated on Samhain and traveled to ancient Greece to meet with Hecate, goddess of the Crossroads and Gate Keeper to the Underworld.

During this meeting she showed me the various crossroads of my life and how for the most part, I had chosen to walk blindly or simply not taken the time to consider my direction. She then took me to the current crossroad before me and left me with a single torch to light my way.

After some consideration I made my choice and walked along the path for some time before coming to what appeared to be a door. Sitting a few feet ahead of the door stood a black dog, a messenger from the goddess. I knelt down to eye level with the dog and reached out my hand but before I could touch it, the dog turned and and ran through the door just as a ghost might pass through a wall. I stood back up unsure of how to proceed. It was then that I felt something cold on my chest and looked down to find a simple skeleton key tied to a ribbon around my neck. Looking back to the door I took a step forward and another until I too passed through the door without so much as looking for a knob or handle.

On the other side of the door she stood, her helper by her side. She explained to me how I have always held the key to my hearts desires and simple had to decide to go after them, regardless of what might lie in front of me. She pointed behind me and when I followed her gaze, the door was gone as if it never was.

The door was a symbol for all of the road blocks we create for ourselves because we're afraid of what the other side might look like.

If you've been with me for any amount of time, then you know that fear is something that I have struggled with releasing for a long time.

I used to get really down on myself for being and doing all of the things that I knew stood in my way-for standing in my own way.

But I've been learning how to be proud, and to be grateful for the progress I've made, because I have made progress. I have not stopped growing, I have not stopped learning, and in that process, I have learned to be grateful. Truly grateful.

As we head into the dark time of the year, our ancestors would turn inward; not just physically but magically also. In the past few months I have been focusing on the phases of the moon, and how best to work with the energy of each phase.

I have done so much shadow work, so much release and now I think it is time for me to focus on healing and manifesting my gratitude. I will also spend this time examining how I wish to grow and what I would like to perhaps incorporate into my path.

I hope that Samhain was spent in good company, in the physical realm as well as spiritual. May the God and Goddess keep you and yours during this dark time of year until the Sun's great rebirth at Yule.

Sending you and yours light and love,

Thealynn

©2013-2015 Thealynn