Hello lovies,
I have been receiving the same question by several people during the last few days, so I thought I would take some time to answer that question.
As you may have noticed, there are posts dated from last year, and then I simply disappeared for a year. The last post I made before the hiatus wasn't even published until almost a month after I had written it. So it's only natural that people would wonder:
Why did I stop writing? What caused me to start this project up again? Why decide to make this a public blog instead of keeping it private like a journal?
The main reason I stopped writing was simply because I was utterly and completely overwhelmed by everything else that I had going on in my life at the time. I was working full time in a very demanding and stressful environment, I was trying to do school part time, I had mutually ended a loving relationship because neither of us were really getting what we needed, and home life was stressful to the point where I felt like I had to leave as soon as possible.
I could barely keep myself together to go to work only to come home to a place that I didn't feel welcome while trying to keep up with school work.
Writing just was not a priority for me. I didn't even think about my blog for months after I made that last post. I honestly can't recall what made me decide to visit my page and look over everything again. But it happened and here we are! I guess it's just divine design.
What compelled me to start writing again? Well, if you check out the first post since coming back which is titled When One Door Closes, you'll read about a very powerful experience, and I just felt inspired. I had to write, I had to share my experience. A couple of years ago I tried my hand at a Youtube channel talking about my path and my experiences and while it was cathartic at the time, I didn't always feel comfortable filming since I did not live alone and those I lived with were not supportive or understanding of my path. So that was an endeavor that did not last long. I also did not feel savvy enough with posting and filming and editing, etc.
Why make the blog public? For very much the same reason that I wanted to have a successful Youtube channel. I wanted to connect with others who were of similar minds, and on similar paths, but I also wanted to do something to give back to those who unknowingly helped me on my path. I wanted to do something to help my community, near or far.
Helping to spread tolerance and helping to provide education on what this path can be like, I believe are essential things. There is so much hate and propaganda, misinformation, and ignorance (either by design or happenstance) that simply is unnecessary.
People are going to believe what they like, and some may even refuse to educate themselves, and that is their choice. But because of the negative shroud that paganism has been cloaked in, people can be scared away from either learning for themselves, or accepting that their hearts truth lies somewhere beneath that enormous umbrella.
By being open, and honest and sharing all of the ways that we are just like everyone else, but perhaps do things a bit differently; it not only opens the lines of communication, but it illuminates the truth versus the fantastical. Which is something I wholeheartedly believe in.
I believe in it so strongly that I have slowly been taking steps to put myself out into the pagan community where I live. Admittedly my comfort levels have varied since the time I decided it was something I wanted to do, but everything in its own time.
In fact it's only been in the last couple of weeks that I have begun making connections with those in my immediate community about becoming involved with a couple of different groups. Which is so exciting to me, I am so anxious to see how these connections develop and just to see where this adventure takes me.
I know that taking those first steps can be hard and even scary, in fact I know better then most. It's taken half of my life and several other necessary journeys to bring me to this place. By no means did I simply jump in, I played a lot of spirituality-chicken.
So if you're not sure what exactly what you believe or if you're interested in learning more but you're not sure if you should-I've been there. I understand how frustrating it can be being so uncertain about something that so many people are certain of.
Don't be afraid to take your time. Don't feel like you have to decide by a certain point, as if there is some deadline that is ticking away. I created those types of limitations for myself because I felt like I had to, and all it did was push me away from everything that I could or did believe in whether I openly admitted it or not.
This journey is for YOU, for YOUR benefit.
I feel called to help bring paganism out into the open, so we're not all crunched into the broom closet together, as part of this life's purpose. To let the world in, to let them see, to help those who are willing to listen understand who we are and what it is that we do.
My goal is not to make paganism popular or 'main stream'. My goal is to help erase the fear that has been ingrained into society, to help lift the wool the has been pulled over the eyes of the world and to help people understand that hate and negative stereotypes only cause us to go backwards instead of moving forwards.
So, there you have it!
Now, if you are waiting for the post about my mystery gift, I am afraid that you will have to wait a few days longer as I am out of town for my birthday, I have not forgotten! I am hoping to have that and at least one most post up before the end of the week, but I make no promises as this time of year is so busy.
If nothing else be sure to check in on the weekly oracle card and monthly tarot card as this will be your last chance to see the card for December as it will be changing in just a few short days!
Sending you all light and love and patience this night; you deserve to take your time and the freedom to search your soul's truth. The Universe is full of patience and understanding, even in times when we are not.
Many blessings to you and yours,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Monday, December 29, 2014
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Holiday Spirit
Season's Greetings lovies,
I originally hadn't planned on writing a post today, but with the events of the last couple of days, I decided that I would share some of my thoughts with you all.
I worked yesterday (which depending on when you read this, I will clarify, it was Christmas eve) and everyone around me was either doing their last minute shopping or talking about their plans for the next day.
I knew weeks in advance that I would not be spending Christmas day with any of my family members, and I was prepared to spend the day in my pajamas, have a wonderful breakfast with my fuzzy child and spend the whole day watching movies.
As the day wore on, I began to notice that I was feeling a bit sad that I didn't have anywhere to go on Christmas; that even though I had already celebrated with one part of my family and I still had one celebration day to go, I was concerned that I would end up being lonely and that maybe I wasn't as content with spending the day alone as I had thought.
I resolved that regardless of how I ended up feeling, that I was not the first person to spend Christmas without family, and I certainly wouldn't be the last. It was one day, I would make it through.
I'm sure at least a couple of you are wondering: If you're a practicing pagan, why do you care about Christmas?
I wondered that myself for a moment to be honest, so I decided that I would figure it out.
I'll admit that I worried for a moment that perhaps the root of my sadness might have been coming from a material place. Was I being shallow or nostalgic? I decided that it was best to be honest with myself and really looked inside as I walked home.
It was true that I missed being a wide eyed child and the magic of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with shiny presents wrapped beneath it.
But then I thought about the years when we had little or even nothing, and the best gift that I received was spending time with the people I loved. Knowing that there were warm hugs and laughter waiting for me at my grandparents house that always smelled of vanilla and my grandmother's perfume. Or as I got older that I had a significant other's family to visit, play games and have a meal together.
As I turned onto my street I concluded that while material gifts are always appreciated, it was the realization that I have entered into a time in my life where it's just me. That I'm not always going to be celebrating and seeing my family on traditional days.
Approaching the house I decided that regardless past traditions, the days I spent with my family would be the real holidays, forget what the calendars say. That's when I spotted one of my housemates and she spotted me. I was promptly invited to spend Christmas eve with the majority of the tenants and some of their friends. I gladly accepted.
Once they learned I had no plans for today (Christmas day) I was invited to spend all of the next day with them as well, and we would simply have a little house Christmas. I was all too happy to accept.
I've been in my current place for about six months, and I am only now caught up on meeting the other dwellers. Most of us are from out of state, several of us are single ladies who enjoy a glass of wine and good company.
A couple of us are even on similar paths, both in life and spiritually. Which is something that I will write more about another time, but I will say that I am so excited!
Call it coincidence, call it a Christmas miracle, call it whatever you like. I'm going to call it a blessing and a gift from the Universe. The ritual I did for the new moon, and one affirmation that I have been putting to the universe is to not only expand my social circle, but to also expand my spiritual circle and both of those things are happening.
Much like Scrooge finding the meaning of Christmas in the classic Dickens novel, I discovered that while I don't celebrate Christmas religiously, I do celebrate Christmas as a family holiday. It's one of the few times, some times the only time of year when I get to see most of my family; and when we all spend time together.
One other surprise that I wanted to share with you is the mystery gift! When I turned in for the night during the early morning hours, there was a package by my front door. I was tired, and a bit tipsy last night so I have been saving it. It's from one of my favorite shops Sage Goddess, and I haven't the foggiest what it could be or who it is from, but I can't wait to find out!
I'll make a separate post about that in the next few days.
All of that being said,
I hope all of you know that regardless of what or when you celebrate, that you are loved and cherished. That even though things may seem dark, and that times may have been rough, this next year is going to be amazing; filled with magic, and wonder, with so many beautiful changes and possibilities.
Wishing each and every one of you the Merriest of Christmases,
In light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
I originally hadn't planned on writing a post today, but with the events of the last couple of days, I decided that I would share some of my thoughts with you all.
I worked yesterday (which depending on when you read this, I will clarify, it was Christmas eve) and everyone around me was either doing their last minute shopping or talking about their plans for the next day.
I knew weeks in advance that I would not be spending Christmas day with any of my family members, and I was prepared to spend the day in my pajamas, have a wonderful breakfast with my fuzzy child and spend the whole day watching movies.
As the day wore on, I began to notice that I was feeling a bit sad that I didn't have anywhere to go on Christmas; that even though I had already celebrated with one part of my family and I still had one celebration day to go, I was concerned that I would end up being lonely and that maybe I wasn't as content with spending the day alone as I had thought.
I resolved that regardless of how I ended up feeling, that I was not the first person to spend Christmas without family, and I certainly wouldn't be the last. It was one day, I would make it through.
I'm sure at least a couple of you are wondering: If you're a practicing pagan, why do you care about Christmas?
I wondered that myself for a moment to be honest, so I decided that I would figure it out.
I'll admit that I worried for a moment that perhaps the root of my sadness might have been coming from a material place. Was I being shallow or nostalgic? I decided that it was best to be honest with myself and really looked inside as I walked home.
It was true that I missed being a wide eyed child and the magic of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with shiny presents wrapped beneath it.
But then I thought about the years when we had little or even nothing, and the best gift that I received was spending time with the people I loved. Knowing that there were warm hugs and laughter waiting for me at my grandparents house that always smelled of vanilla and my grandmother's perfume. Or as I got older that I had a significant other's family to visit, play games and have a meal together.
As I turned onto my street I concluded that while material gifts are always appreciated, it was the realization that I have entered into a time in my life where it's just me. That I'm not always going to be celebrating and seeing my family on traditional days.
Approaching the house I decided that regardless past traditions, the days I spent with my family would be the real holidays, forget what the calendars say. That's when I spotted one of my housemates and she spotted me. I was promptly invited to spend Christmas eve with the majority of the tenants and some of their friends. I gladly accepted.
Once they learned I had no plans for today (Christmas day) I was invited to spend all of the next day with them as well, and we would simply have a little house Christmas. I was all too happy to accept.
I've been in my current place for about six months, and I am only now caught up on meeting the other dwellers. Most of us are from out of state, several of us are single ladies who enjoy a glass of wine and good company.
A couple of us are even on similar paths, both in life and spiritually. Which is something that I will write more about another time, but I will say that I am so excited!
Call it coincidence, call it a Christmas miracle, call it whatever you like. I'm going to call it a blessing and a gift from the Universe. The ritual I did for the new moon, and one affirmation that I have been putting to the universe is to not only expand my social circle, but to also expand my spiritual circle and both of those things are happening.
Much like Scrooge finding the meaning of Christmas in the classic Dickens novel, I discovered that while I don't celebrate Christmas religiously, I do celebrate Christmas as a family holiday. It's one of the few times, some times the only time of year when I get to see most of my family; and when we all spend time together.
One other surprise that I wanted to share with you is the mystery gift! When I turned in for the night during the early morning hours, there was a package by my front door. I was tired, and a bit tipsy last night so I have been saving it. It's from one of my favorite shops Sage Goddess, and I haven't the foggiest what it could be or who it is from, but I can't wait to find out!
I'll make a separate post about that in the next few days.
All of that being said,
I hope all of you know that regardless of what or when you celebrate, that you are loved and cherished. That even though things may seem dark, and that times may have been rough, this next year is going to be amazing; filled with magic, and wonder, with so many beautiful changes and possibilities.
Wishing each and every one of you the Merriest of Christmases,
In light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Winter Solstice and a New Moon Too
Hello lovies,
In this post today I am not going to be diving into the controversy of who or when the tradition of Yule started or the 'war on Christmas'. None of the ' so and so stole this and that from so and so.' I'm not saying that I don't have an opinion about those topics, because of course I do. But that's not the purpose of this post, I feel like it would take away from the cheer of this time of the year.
All semantics aside, this is meant to be a joyous time of year, and that is what we'll be focusing on, so without further ado!
It is officially Yule! Also known as the Winter Solstice, the one day of the year where the day is the shortest and the night is longest. This is also the day that we celebrate the birth of the sun. Most cultures have their own traditions from the festival of Saturnalia in ancient Rome, to the Celts celebrating the Goddess Brighid, or the early Germanic peoples hiding inside as Odin rode through the sky deciding who would prosper and who would perish.
Another common theme that you will see is the battle between the Holly King and the Oak King. Rather trying to explain it in my own words as it is a legend that I myself have recently been studying, I found a web page that does a great job explaining. The author of the post is writing from a Wiccan perspective, but this legend is not observed strictly by Wiccans, so please keep that in mind.
From Holly to Oak.
One of my favorite reads this time of year is Yule by Dorothy Morrison. It's a wonderful book full of history, traditions, recipes, and rituals you can do either solo or with the whole family,
One of my favorite traditions is the Yule log. Last year we tied ribbons decorated with rune symbols around the log and let it burn while we watched a holiday film.
Another personal favorite tradition of mine is lighting candles. White, red and green are traditional colors. But you can use whatever you have. In a lot of places either there is no fireplace or burning candles is not permitted,
So here are a couple of ideas of what you can do instead!
For a lot of folks who don't have fire places, the Yule log can still be used. Take a log and carve three holes to place the candles, and you can decorate the log wit ribbons, mistletoe, pine needles, whatever you fancy and have it be a center piece on your alter or your table. It's festive for the whole season, and will smell terrific!
As far as not burning candles, there are always the little LED tea lights, and while they might not come in different colors, you can put them in different colored tea light holders. I did that for a few years when I wasn't able to burn candles, and it worked just the same.
Now for one of my favorite parts of the holiday season-the food!
Growing up we would usually have ham or turkey, with mashed potatoes and gravy, green been casserole, cranberries, yams, rolls, and sparkling fruit jell-o (my grandmother's specialty.)
All of which were wonderful (except maybe the jell-o, it lost its wonder after the age of nine.) But if you're looking for something a little more tradition for a pagan solstice feast, check out this awesome website a friend told me about during the Yule part she hosted. The Wassail is particularly exceptional.
Next year I am going to be sure to make the Chocolate Yule Log for dessert!
Here are some of my favorite recipes: Yule Cooking.
Baked Spaghetti Squash
Sunshine Skillet Casserole
Buttered Rum Mix
Wassail
That is going to wrap up this portion for Yule, here are a couple of other sources you can check out for some more detailed information. Yule Lore, and Merry Yule.
One really cool thing about Yule this year is that it coincides with a new moon. New moons are the ideal time during the month to set your intentions, write down your goals, and to welcome in all of the positive and wonderful things that you want to manifest in the next month.
When it comes to rituals, they do not have to be elaborate or lengthy; just go with whatever makes you most comfortable, the ritual is for you after all!
Normally when I set out to do a ritual, I smudge myself and the area I'm going to be working in, but since this is a new moon, I don't want the smoke to carry out the blessings along with any nasties, so I'll be using my besome to clear my ritual space tonight. If you don't have a ritual broom to use, you can use a bell to clear your space as well.
I make sure that I am ready and centered. Some times I meditate, or I'll just take a few deep breathes.
I always call the corners: North, East, South and West. I always call my guides and then I request the presence of the the Lord and Lady. The God and Goddess go by many names, I personally like the way that Lord and Lady sound, so that's usually what I go with, but I always let my intuition guide me.
Once I feel that all who are present are with me I begin.
New moons are the time to set those intentions, so I'll have paper and pen with me to write down my goals and heart's desires.
It's important to put the date on your paper and write the purpose of your ritual, something like this will work, but don't be afraid to use your own words-the more of you that you put in, the more personal and the more powerful it is. The Universe is also very understanding, so if you're just starting or you have wording from somewhere else that you feel good about, go for it!
"I accept these gifts and blessings from the Universe into my life, for the highest good of all, and harm to none."
This is what we call an affirmation statement. It helps to breathe life into what you're doing and what I consider to be the greatest form of magic.
Once you have that written down, start writing those wishes down! Make sure you hang on to it though, and as things manifest record how they do manifest as a way of keeping track of the wonderful blessings the Universe is helping you to achieve and provide for you.
The Sun is Reborn and with a Dark Moon, feel the magic and the love that is etched into this time of year.
Whatever you celebrate, may you be surrounded by light and warmth, laughter and love.
A Blessed Yule to you all as we welcome back the Oak King and our Sun.
Brightest Blessings to you and yours,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
In this post today I am not going to be diving into the controversy of who or when the tradition of Yule started or the 'war on Christmas'. None of the ' so and so stole this and that from so and so.' I'm not saying that I don't have an opinion about those topics, because of course I do. But that's not the purpose of this post, I feel like it would take away from the cheer of this time of the year.
All semantics aside, this is meant to be a joyous time of year, and that is what we'll be focusing on, so without further ado!
It is officially Yule! Also known as the Winter Solstice, the one day of the year where the day is the shortest and the night is longest. This is also the day that we celebrate the birth of the sun. Most cultures have their own traditions from the festival of Saturnalia in ancient Rome, to the Celts celebrating the Goddess Brighid, or the early Germanic peoples hiding inside as Odin rode through the sky deciding who would prosper and who would perish.
Another common theme that you will see is the battle between the Holly King and the Oak King. Rather trying to explain it in my own words as it is a legend that I myself have recently been studying, I found a web page that does a great job explaining. The author of the post is writing from a Wiccan perspective, but this legend is not observed strictly by Wiccans, so please keep that in mind.
From Holly to Oak.
One of my favorite reads this time of year is Yule by Dorothy Morrison. It's a wonderful book full of history, traditions, recipes, and rituals you can do either solo or with the whole family,
One of my favorite traditions is the Yule log. Last year we tied ribbons decorated with rune symbols around the log and let it burn while we watched a holiday film.
Another personal favorite tradition of mine is lighting candles. White, red and green are traditional colors. But you can use whatever you have. In a lot of places either there is no fireplace or burning candles is not permitted,
So here are a couple of ideas of what you can do instead!
For a lot of folks who don't have fire places, the Yule log can still be used. Take a log and carve three holes to place the candles, and you can decorate the log wit ribbons, mistletoe, pine needles, whatever you fancy and have it be a center piece on your alter or your table. It's festive for the whole season, and will smell terrific!
As far as not burning candles, there are always the little LED tea lights, and while they might not come in different colors, you can put them in different colored tea light holders. I did that for a few years when I wasn't able to burn candles, and it worked just the same.
Now for one of my favorite parts of the holiday season-the food!
All of which were wonderful (except maybe the jell-o, it lost its wonder after the age of nine.) But if you're looking for something a little more tradition for a pagan solstice feast, check out this awesome website a friend told me about during the Yule part she hosted. The Wassail is particularly exceptional.
Next year I am going to be sure to make the Chocolate Yule Log for dessert!
Here are some of my favorite recipes: Yule Cooking.
Baked Spaghetti Squash
Sunshine Skillet Casserole
Buttered Rum Mix
Wassail
That is going to wrap up this portion for Yule, here are a couple of other sources you can check out for some more detailed information. Yule Lore, and Merry Yule.
One really cool thing about Yule this year is that it coincides with a new moon. New moons are the ideal time during the month to set your intentions, write down your goals, and to welcome in all of the positive and wonderful things that you want to manifest in the next month.
When it comes to rituals, they do not have to be elaborate or lengthy; just go with whatever makes you most comfortable, the ritual is for you after all!
Normally when I set out to do a ritual, I smudge myself and the area I'm going to be working in, but since this is a new moon, I don't want the smoke to carry out the blessings along with any nasties, so I'll be using my besome to clear my ritual space tonight. If you don't have a ritual broom to use, you can use a bell to clear your space as well.
I make sure that I am ready and centered. Some times I meditate, or I'll just take a few deep breathes.
I always call the corners: North, East, South and West. I always call my guides and then I request the presence of the the Lord and Lady. The God and Goddess go by many names, I personally like the way that Lord and Lady sound, so that's usually what I go with, but I always let my intuition guide me.
Once I feel that all who are present are with me I begin.
New moons are the time to set those intentions, so I'll have paper and pen with me to write down my goals and heart's desires.
It's important to put the date on your paper and write the purpose of your ritual, something like this will work, but don't be afraid to use your own words-the more of you that you put in, the more personal and the more powerful it is. The Universe is also very understanding, so if you're just starting or you have wording from somewhere else that you feel good about, go for it!
"I accept these gifts and blessings from the Universe into my life, for the highest good of all, and harm to none."
This is what we call an affirmation statement. It helps to breathe life into what you're doing and what I consider to be the greatest form of magic.
Once you have that written down, start writing those wishes down! Make sure you hang on to it though, and as things manifest record how they do manifest as a way of keeping track of the wonderful blessings the Universe is helping you to achieve and provide for you.
The Sun is Reborn and with a Dark Moon, feel the magic and the love that is etched into this time of year.
Whatever you celebrate, may you be surrounded by light and warmth, laughter and love.
A Blessed Yule to you all as we welcome back the Oak King and our Sun.
Brightest Blessings to you and yours,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Friday, December 19, 2014
A Little Bit Stronger
Hey there lovies,
I decided to take a couple of days to myself to focus on implementing some of the changes I've been wanting to do with my blog, and also think about what I wanted to write about next. I reviewed the list I have going, and while I am excited to write about those things, I also have had cumulus nimbus hanging around. So I've been trying to take things easy and not overwhelm myself with the same thought patterns over and over again.
I was on my way home from the store when a song came on Pandora that I used to listen to all the time. It's called A Little Bit Stronger by Sarah Evans. Now, why a country song decided to randomly play on my Lady Gaga station, I can only imagine as a sign from the Universe to talk more about what I'm working through.
I used to journal almost every day when I was in high school, it was really the only therapy I was able to have. I would usually write about how much I hated everything, and how hopeless I felt, how angry I was. I spent most of my freshmen year of high school in the worst depression of my life. By sophomore year I had stabilized a bit and I would journal about school and friends, emotional dilemmas and of course boys. Junior and Senior year was more of the same-but it was an outlet that I desperately needed, and since then whenever things have been hard or I couldn't stop thinking about a particular issue, I would write about it.
I realize that my main goal of this blog is for my spiritual goals and experiences, and sharing my ideas. But when I stop and think about my spiritual health, I realize that my emotional and mental health have to be there as well or I don't get anything done. The motivation simply isn't there.
When I put my head phones in and I heard the lyrics, I almost skipped the song. But I chose to listen to it and during my five minute walk I thought about how I used to feel when I listened to this song.
I felt heartbroken, I felt lost, helpless, hopeless and that all of the light had gone from the world. How could I have let things get to where they had gotten? Why didn't I do x, y, or z?
I also thought about how differently I felt listening to it now. I feel strong, brave. I realized that I am worth so much more then what I was given, and the trials that I experienced because of the situation I allowed myself to be in.
Eventually, step by step, day by day, I worked through the toughest part of my life. So while I am experiencing this particular rough patch, I am going keep my head high. I am taking things one day at a time.
When I start to feel like things are too much, I take a deep breath and I take a break. I meditate, or hold one of my crystals. I cry even. Not in a 'there's no way out' way. But in a 'I need to let this stress out so that I can do what I need to do' way.
Every trial I have faced, and obstacle that has come my way, I have been able to overcome. Every day that I have refused to bow down to what I know I DON'T want to be, and I've gotten a little bit stronger every time because of that.
I've become strong enough to accept that I experience anxiety and depression in a potentially life damaging way. I'm not hiding from it any more. Facing them means that yes, they are out in the open, so I am noticing them much more then I did before. But I had to face them to work on them, to figure out MY way.
Not everyday is going to be shining and wonderful, some days are going to be dreary and gloomy and those days might be right next to each other. But everyday that I work through, and every day that I do not surrender is a reason to be proud of my progress.
I believe that should be the same for everyone. When you're experiencing hardships, when life throws you a curve ball, don't feel like you have to tackle the whole thing in one foul swoop. Don't sweep it all under the rug or push it down and ignore it.
Take it one day at a time, deal with one piece at a time. Give yourself a grace period for figuring things out, be patient with yourself while you sort through everything. Don't feel like there is a time limit on healing, but don't forget to be proactive!
While there are resources and people out there who can help, we have to be responsible for the positive changes we want to see in ourselves.
When I did the Full Moon Ritual two weeks ago, Athena said something that really struck me and I have not been able to forget it since.
Let Go and Let Come.
It's such a beautiful sentiment. Let go of all the things that hold you back, that make you sad, that simply do not serve your highest good. Let come all of the joy, the potential and the happiness that is out there waiting for you to grasp it!
We can do this!
I'll admit that when I went to upload this photo I laughed a little bit because I noticed that there is a double rainbow hiding in there! I took this photo a few years ago when I was living in Portland and I just saw that for the first time today. How perfect is that?
Sidebar: Please say tuned for the new Oracle Card of the week on Sunday! Also stay tuned for the Solstice post that should be up on Sunday as well! It'll be chalk full of history, recipes and the ritual I plan to do Sunday night!
Blessings to you on your journey, never forget that you are strong enough to live this life. And you have the ability to make it into anything that you want it to be. All of that potential is inside of you.
You are not alone.
Sending you all shining light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
I decided to take a couple of days to myself to focus on implementing some of the changes I've been wanting to do with my blog, and also think about what I wanted to write about next. I reviewed the list I have going, and while I am excited to write about those things, I also have had cumulus nimbus hanging around. So I've been trying to take things easy and not overwhelm myself with the same thought patterns over and over again.
I was on my way home from the store when a song came on Pandora that I used to listen to all the time. It's called A Little Bit Stronger by Sarah Evans. Now, why a country song decided to randomly play on my Lady Gaga station, I can only imagine as a sign from the Universe to talk more about what I'm working through.
I used to journal almost every day when I was in high school, it was really the only therapy I was able to have. I would usually write about how much I hated everything, and how hopeless I felt, how angry I was. I spent most of my freshmen year of high school in the worst depression of my life. By sophomore year I had stabilized a bit and I would journal about school and friends, emotional dilemmas and of course boys. Junior and Senior year was more of the same-but it was an outlet that I desperately needed, and since then whenever things have been hard or I couldn't stop thinking about a particular issue, I would write about it.
I realize that my main goal of this blog is for my spiritual goals and experiences, and sharing my ideas. But when I stop and think about my spiritual health, I realize that my emotional and mental health have to be there as well or I don't get anything done. The motivation simply isn't there.
When I put my head phones in and I heard the lyrics, I almost skipped the song. But I chose to listen to it and during my five minute walk I thought about how I used to feel when I listened to this song.
I felt heartbroken, I felt lost, helpless, hopeless and that all of the light had gone from the world. How could I have let things get to where they had gotten? Why didn't I do x, y, or z?
I also thought about how differently I felt listening to it now. I feel strong, brave. I realized that I am worth so much more then what I was given, and the trials that I experienced because of the situation I allowed myself to be in.
Eventually, step by step, day by day, I worked through the toughest part of my life. So while I am experiencing this particular rough patch, I am going keep my head high. I am taking things one day at a time.
When I start to feel like things are too much, I take a deep breath and I take a break. I meditate, or hold one of my crystals. I cry even. Not in a 'there's no way out' way. But in a 'I need to let this stress out so that I can do what I need to do' way.
Every trial I have faced, and obstacle that has come my way, I have been able to overcome. Every day that I have refused to bow down to what I know I DON'T want to be, and I've gotten a little bit stronger every time because of that.
I've become strong enough to accept that I experience anxiety and depression in a potentially life damaging way. I'm not hiding from it any more. Facing them means that yes, they are out in the open, so I am noticing them much more then I did before. But I had to face them to work on them, to figure out MY way.
Not everyday is going to be shining and wonderful, some days are going to be dreary and gloomy and those days might be right next to each other. But everyday that I work through, and every day that I do not surrender is a reason to be proud of my progress.
I believe that should be the same for everyone. When you're experiencing hardships, when life throws you a curve ball, don't feel like you have to tackle the whole thing in one foul swoop. Don't sweep it all under the rug or push it down and ignore it.
Take it one day at a time, deal with one piece at a time. Give yourself a grace period for figuring things out, be patient with yourself while you sort through everything. Don't feel like there is a time limit on healing, but don't forget to be proactive!
While there are resources and people out there who can help, we have to be responsible for the positive changes we want to see in ourselves.
When I did the Full Moon Ritual two weeks ago, Athena said something that really struck me and I have not been able to forget it since.
Let Go and Let Come.
It's such a beautiful sentiment. Let go of all the things that hold you back, that make you sad, that simply do not serve your highest good. Let come all of the joy, the potential and the happiness that is out there waiting for you to grasp it!
We can do this!
I'll admit that when I went to upload this photo I laughed a little bit because I noticed that there is a double rainbow hiding in there! I took this photo a few years ago when I was living in Portland and I just saw that for the first time today. How perfect is that?
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| You can find this picture and others on my Instagram. Copywrite.Thealynn13.2014 |
Sidebar: Please say tuned for the new Oracle Card of the week on Sunday! Also stay tuned for the Solstice post that should be up on Sunday as well! It'll be chalk full of history, recipes and the ritual I plan to do Sunday night!
Blessings to you on your journey, never forget that you are strong enough to live this life. And you have the ability to make it into anything that you want it to be. All of that potential is inside of you.
You are not alone.
Sending you all shining light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Yuletide
Good evening lovies,
Prior to my last post, I took a little bit of a break from writing to give myself a chance to breath and to refuel a bit. When I sat down to write Behind Door Number One, I was a little nervous to do so, and it really did take a lot of energy out of me.
I am so happy I did though, because not only was I able to face a darker truth about myself, I am much more able to see how it's been affecting different aspects of my life and it's not so easily swept under the rug.
So, before I jump into the topic for tonight, I wanted to say thank you for being a support of that piece of my journey. Even if you're reading all of this months later, I still appreciate your presence. I would like to send everyone who has read or will read that post, and everyone who deals with similar trials a heartfelt energy hug. Thank you.
~*~
Now, this is a topic that has been on my mind that last few days, and while I have so many things that I want to write about, I feel like this is the perfect time to talk about this particular subject. It even came up during work this afternoon, and while I had absolutely no intention of writing tonight as fatigue is not a fun friend, I simply felt compelled to do so, and well, here I am!
This time of year can bring a lot of mixed emotions, as it can be a very complex time for a lot of people. The holiday season in America has gone through many phases, and it certainly has not slowed down.
The month of December can be complicated. It's a very special time of year for a lot of folks, and I don't mean just the warm and fuzzy stuff.
There is a political, religious, secular, and emotional aspect for about the last six weeks of the year, if you want to include Thanksgiving. You have a variety of holidays celebrated by a variety of faiths all on a different level of commitment. There is traveling, and money flying everywhere and potential family obligations (depending on how you feel about your family). It can be the most wonderful time of the year. It can also be a very heart heavy time of the year, filled with loneliness, heartbreak, hunger, and a feeling of inadequacy.
I have been very fortunate in that for the most part, this time of year has been a very happy time of year for me, full of love and laughter, time spent with the people that I love. There have also been times when it didn't feel very joyful at all.
There were times that I spent without most of my family, and I relied on my friends and the family of my ex, whom I loved very much, and still do, but it's not quite the same.
I think most of us can say that though. "...but it's not quite the same." This time of year can make us long for what no longer is, or what could have been.
As I look around my little hobbit hole, I do not have festive decorations. No tree or lights or knick knacks. And it does make me a little sad, I love this time of year. One of my favorite things about this time of year is the decorations, overall they just make me feel happy and peaceful. Despite the lows that I have experience in my life, as short as it has been, I have always had a special place in my heart for Yuletide.
The holidays can get a little complicated for those of us who practice a faith differently then our families. Mine is kind of split, I have some who are very Christian and believe that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, and then there are those who also celebrate Yule.
During work this afternoon I had a customer say something along the lines of "I would say 'Happy Holidays' but I don't want my head bitten off."
I gave her a sincerely puzzled look and ask her, "Why would anyone bite your head off for that?"
She went on to explain that she had noticed people being offended, and correcting her with "Merry Christmas." I nodded in understanding and shared with her that I always say 'Happy Holidays', and that if someone says 'Merry Christmas' in return, I give them a warm smile and return the sentiment. Because while I might not celebrate Christmas religiously, I celebrate it in a secular manner, and that for me it's more about spending time with family.
My assistant manager and I talked a little bit about it after the customer had left, and she expressed how she was offended when people insisted on 'Merry Christmas' bringing up the point of Hanukkah, and so on, and being someone who didn't believe in anything, she felt it was inconsiderate.
Rather than getting into a distracting conversation, because we were at work, I left it where it lay, comfortable and happy with my stance on the subject. Because at the end of the day, regardless of which holiday you observe, I hope that there will be time with loved ones making memories that will last a life time. As mine certainly have, and will.
Growing up it was Christmas, and some of my favorite memories are of Christmas time with my family, decorating the house and the tree, listening to Christmas music-which I still do. Of course now it has a very different meaning to me. As fun and appreciated as presents are (because seriously, who doesn't love getting presents) this year I am going to be focusing on a very spiritual aspect.
So this holiday season, I am going to be celebrating holiday tradition of spending time with my family, for Christmas and my grandfather's birthday which falls on the Winter Solstice-something I still giggle over. As a part of a new tradition, I have decided that I will light a candle for everyone I know that is missing someone during the holiday season. I will take a piece of paper and write down their name and honor those whom I love, and the ones that they love.
I will also be welcoming the birth of the sun, as it will shine the way for the new year and all of the amazing possibilities that lay before me. I said before that this will be my last year of living in fear, so as the moon wanes, I will finish the work I started on the full moon. I will finish releasing all that I have holding onto that no longer serves me, and when the new moon arrives, I will be ready to fill the empty space that the negativity left with light and love and positivity.
May you be surrounded by love and light this holiday season,
Many blessings to you and yours,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Prior to my last post, I took a little bit of a break from writing to give myself a chance to breath and to refuel a bit. When I sat down to write Behind Door Number One, I was a little nervous to do so, and it really did take a lot of energy out of me.
I am so happy I did though, because not only was I able to face a darker truth about myself, I am much more able to see how it's been affecting different aspects of my life and it's not so easily swept under the rug.
So, before I jump into the topic for tonight, I wanted to say thank you for being a support of that piece of my journey. Even if you're reading all of this months later, I still appreciate your presence. I would like to send everyone who has read or will read that post, and everyone who deals with similar trials a heartfelt energy hug. Thank you.
~*~
Now, this is a topic that has been on my mind that last few days, and while I have so many things that I want to write about, I feel like this is the perfect time to talk about this particular subject. It even came up during work this afternoon, and while I had absolutely no intention of writing tonight as fatigue is not a fun friend, I simply felt compelled to do so, and well, here I am!
This time of year can bring a lot of mixed emotions, as it can be a very complex time for a lot of people. The holiday season in America has gone through many phases, and it certainly has not slowed down.
The month of December can be complicated. It's a very special time of year for a lot of folks, and I don't mean just the warm and fuzzy stuff.
There is a political, religious, secular, and emotional aspect for about the last six weeks of the year, if you want to include Thanksgiving. You have a variety of holidays celebrated by a variety of faiths all on a different level of commitment. There is traveling, and money flying everywhere and potential family obligations (depending on how you feel about your family). It can be the most wonderful time of the year. It can also be a very heart heavy time of the year, filled with loneliness, heartbreak, hunger, and a feeling of inadequacy.
I have been very fortunate in that for the most part, this time of year has been a very happy time of year for me, full of love and laughter, time spent with the people that I love. There have also been times when it didn't feel very joyful at all.
There were times that I spent without most of my family, and I relied on my friends and the family of my ex, whom I loved very much, and still do, but it's not quite the same.
I think most of us can say that though. "...but it's not quite the same." This time of year can make us long for what no longer is, or what could have been.
As I look around my little hobbit hole, I do not have festive decorations. No tree or lights or knick knacks. And it does make me a little sad, I love this time of year. One of my favorite things about this time of year is the decorations, overall they just make me feel happy and peaceful. Despite the lows that I have experience in my life, as short as it has been, I have always had a special place in my heart for Yuletide.
The holidays can get a little complicated for those of us who practice a faith differently then our families. Mine is kind of split, I have some who are very Christian and believe that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, and then there are those who also celebrate Yule.
During work this afternoon I had a customer say something along the lines of "I would say 'Happy Holidays' but I don't want my head bitten off."
I gave her a sincerely puzzled look and ask her, "Why would anyone bite your head off for that?"
She went on to explain that she had noticed people being offended, and correcting her with "Merry Christmas." I nodded in understanding and shared with her that I always say 'Happy Holidays', and that if someone says 'Merry Christmas' in return, I give them a warm smile and return the sentiment. Because while I might not celebrate Christmas religiously, I celebrate it in a secular manner, and that for me it's more about spending time with family.
My assistant manager and I talked a little bit about it after the customer had left, and she expressed how she was offended when people insisted on 'Merry Christmas' bringing up the point of Hanukkah, and so on, and being someone who didn't believe in anything, she felt it was inconsiderate.
Rather than getting into a distracting conversation, because we were at work, I left it where it lay, comfortable and happy with my stance on the subject. Because at the end of the day, regardless of which holiday you observe, I hope that there will be time with loved ones making memories that will last a life time. As mine certainly have, and will.
Growing up it was Christmas, and some of my favorite memories are of Christmas time with my family, decorating the house and the tree, listening to Christmas music-which I still do. Of course now it has a very different meaning to me. As fun and appreciated as presents are (because seriously, who doesn't love getting presents) this year I am going to be focusing on a very spiritual aspect.
So this holiday season, I am going to be celebrating holiday tradition of spending time with my family, for Christmas and my grandfather's birthday which falls on the Winter Solstice-something I still giggle over. As a part of a new tradition, I have decided that I will light a candle for everyone I know that is missing someone during the holiday season. I will take a piece of paper and write down their name and honor those whom I love, and the ones that they love.
I will also be welcoming the birth of the sun, as it will shine the way for the new year and all of the amazing possibilities that lay before me. I said before that this will be my last year of living in fear, so as the moon wanes, I will finish the work I started on the full moon. I will finish releasing all that I have holding onto that no longer serves me, and when the new moon arrives, I will be ready to fill the empty space that the negativity left with light and love and positivity.
May you be surrounded by love and light this holiday season,
Many blessings to you and yours,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Spiritual Firsts
Hello lovies,
I thought this would be a fun little post to do. I found this subject through the MIRTHandREVERENCE channel. Anni is a fantastic vlogger, I have been subscribed to her for a few years now and she has so much to offer! I would sincerely recommend checking out her channel.
The idea of this is to explore what our first experiences with our spiritual paths, and I think it's a great ice breaker-if you will. It will not only give me the chance to remember my roots, but it also help you get to know me better, and may even answer some questions!
1). How did you encounter Paganism, Witchcraft or Magick for the First Time?
I was introduced to paganism by my Dad. In my early teen years he began a journey to rediscover his spirituality, and he was kind enough to share it with me. We had discussed spiritual things before, although being a child I did not recognize them as such, so we started exploring together for a time.
2). What was your first book?
To Ride a Silver Broomstick, by Silver Ravenwolf.
You will probably hear about this title a lot, and everyone has their own opinion about the author, you may have even seen it before. Even though I had been aware of paganism for years by this point, I had never read any books, and wasn't really sure where I stood. While today it is not one of my favorites, it did open the door in a safe way for me to take my first steps.
3). What was the first spell you ever performed?
At this point in my personal path I don't particularly practice the craft, but I do believe in magic. Don't worry, I'll explain.
I say 'at this point' because life is ever changing. Two years ago I wasn't working with crystals, and look at me now, my crystal family is around 50 members! I do not have any prejudices against solitary practitioners, meaning that I don't believe that a person has to be formally trained in an established tradition.
I have created charms, and chants for all sorts of things (that you can label spellcraft if you like). When I think of spellcraft, I think of specific ingredients, and a series of words with intention during a certain time of the month with certain colors that need to be used, etc.
Now, is magic actually that complicated? I sincerely doubt it. In truth I am probably building it up to more than it is, but more on that in my next post or so. Moving on!
4). What was your first crystal or stone?
Moonstone. If you hop back to the post I made last year about visiting the wolf sanctuary in Washington I posted a picture of my wolf pendant. The moon in the pendant is represented by a moonstone.
5). Who was the first God and/or Goddess you encountered on your Path?
As part of the learning curve for figuring out my path, I did a guided meditation to establish my connection to God and Goddess, and that was a very powerful experience for me.
Aside from that, I was approached by Hades a couple of years back when I was working through the aftermath of an abusive relationship. I talk a little bit about my experience in another post.
6). How did you first meet other Pagans?
For me it was really just happenstance. Eventually I knew people who knew other people who were like minded and I am fortunate to have most of those people still in my life today.
7). What was the first Festival, Meetup, or Public gathering you attended?
Unfortunately I have yet to attend an official public pagan gathering. That is one of the things I plan to change next year!
8). What was the first class or workshop you took?
The first class I took was the Way of the Shaman class, mentioned briefly in one of my first posts.
9). What the first chant you learned?
The first chant I ever learned went along with the first tool I ever used. It was a gift from one of my first pagan mentors, who is a very close family friend.
10). What was the first method of divination you learned?
Tarot! I love the tarot so much. It's definitely one of those things that take time and dedication to learn, and I even though I have been using tarot for six years now, I am still learning.
11). What was your first tool?
Coming back to what I touched on in number nine, the first tool I received was a little broom to sweep away negative energy.
12). What was the first method or exercise you learned for Energy work?
I would have to say meditation. I had previously been someone who couldn't clear my mind enough or stay comfortable. I think it's because I didn't feel emotionally comfortable. But once I let go of my fear and expectations of what I thought might happen, it was almost too easy!
I cannot imagine going without it.
13). What is a memorable or favorite First on your path that wasn't included in the above questions?
I think for me my most memorable First on my path as simply discovering my path. As a child I felt such a strong connection to the Earth; nature, plants, animals, the wind, to the ocean and rivers. Finding out that I had this connection and that I was not alone-or crazy, that will be another story-I felt such a peace inside of me.
It took some time to fully accept and feel comfortable as I got older and things changed, but the first time I heard my Dad describe paganism to me, was one of my favorite memories.
Share some of your favorite memories and firsts in the comments below.
Until next time,
Namaste
©2013-2015 Thealynn
I thought this would be a fun little post to do. I found this subject through the MIRTHandREVERENCE channel. Anni is a fantastic vlogger, I have been subscribed to her for a few years now and she has so much to offer! I would sincerely recommend checking out her channel.
The idea of this is to explore what our first experiences with our spiritual paths, and I think it's a great ice breaker-if you will. It will not only give me the chance to remember my roots, but it also help you get to know me better, and may even answer some questions!
1). How did you encounter Paganism, Witchcraft or Magick for the First Time?
I was introduced to paganism by my Dad. In my early teen years he began a journey to rediscover his spirituality, and he was kind enough to share it with me. We had discussed spiritual things before, although being a child I did not recognize them as such, so we started exploring together for a time.
2). What was your first book?
To Ride a Silver Broomstick, by Silver Ravenwolf.
You will probably hear about this title a lot, and everyone has their own opinion about the author, you may have even seen it before. Even though I had been aware of paganism for years by this point, I had never read any books, and wasn't really sure where I stood. While today it is not one of my favorites, it did open the door in a safe way for me to take my first steps.
3). What was the first spell you ever performed?
At this point in my personal path I don't particularly practice the craft, but I do believe in magic. Don't worry, I'll explain.
I say 'at this point' because life is ever changing. Two years ago I wasn't working with crystals, and look at me now, my crystal family is around 50 members! I do not have any prejudices against solitary practitioners, meaning that I don't believe that a person has to be formally trained in an established tradition.
I have created charms, and chants for all sorts of things (that you can label spellcraft if you like). When I think of spellcraft, I think of specific ingredients, and a series of words with intention during a certain time of the month with certain colors that need to be used, etc.
Now, is magic actually that complicated? I sincerely doubt it. In truth I am probably building it up to more than it is, but more on that in my next post or so. Moving on!
4). What was your first crystal or stone?
Moonstone. If you hop back to the post I made last year about visiting the wolf sanctuary in Washington I posted a picture of my wolf pendant. The moon in the pendant is represented by a moonstone.
5). Who was the first God and/or Goddess you encountered on your Path?
As part of the learning curve for figuring out my path, I did a guided meditation to establish my connection to God and Goddess, and that was a very powerful experience for me.
Aside from that, I was approached by Hades a couple of years back when I was working through the aftermath of an abusive relationship. I talk a little bit about my experience in another post.
6). How did you first meet other Pagans?
For me it was really just happenstance. Eventually I knew people who knew other people who were like minded and I am fortunate to have most of those people still in my life today.
7). What was the first Festival, Meetup, or Public gathering you attended?
Unfortunately I have yet to attend an official public pagan gathering. That is one of the things I plan to change next year!
8). What was the first class or workshop you took?
The first class I took was the Way of the Shaman class, mentioned briefly in one of my first posts.
9). What the first chant you learned?
The first chant I ever learned went along with the first tool I ever used. It was a gift from one of my first pagan mentors, who is a very close family friend.
10). What was the first method of divination you learned?
Tarot! I love the tarot so much. It's definitely one of those things that take time and dedication to learn, and I even though I have been using tarot for six years now, I am still learning.
11). What was your first tool?
Coming back to what I touched on in number nine, the first tool I received was a little broom to sweep away negative energy.
12). What was the first method or exercise you learned for Energy work?
I would have to say meditation. I had previously been someone who couldn't clear my mind enough or stay comfortable. I think it's because I didn't feel emotionally comfortable. But once I let go of my fear and expectations of what I thought might happen, it was almost too easy!
I cannot imagine going without it.
13). What is a memorable or favorite First on your path that wasn't included in the above questions?
I think for me my most memorable First on my path as simply discovering my path. As a child I felt such a strong connection to the Earth; nature, plants, animals, the wind, to the ocean and rivers. Finding out that I had this connection and that I was not alone-or crazy, that will be another story-I felt such a peace inside of me.
It took some time to fully accept and feel comfortable as I got older and things changed, but the first time I heard my Dad describe paganism to me, was one of my favorite memories.
Share some of your favorite memories and firsts in the comments below.
Until next time,
Namaste
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Behind Door Number One
Hey there lovies,
This post is going to be a little bit different than those you've seen in the past-whether I posted them last year, or within the last week. Prior to this point in my life, I don't think I would have considered sharing something like this about myself in this format. It's barely something I like sharing at all, in fact I hide it so well that I some times forget how much it can affect me.
So why am I sharing?
There are a couple of reasons, a big chuck of it has to do with the mantra I gave myself during the first post I made on this blog in over a year.
"My last year living in fear."
A significant part of doing that is being honest with myself. By being open and honest, it takes away the opportunity to be ashamed. It brings the situation into the light, so I can see it for what it really is instead of letting it be the big scary monster in the dark that I think it is.
Another reason actually has to do with you-my readers. I want anyone who visits this blog to see me as the person that I am, not just a personality that I present in a specific writing style.
Now, by no means am I saying that blogging, writing, making videos in that way is wrong, or insincere, or anything of that nature. I am simply saying that for me personally, my voice comes from being as I am. I know this because I tried it other ways, and I didn't have as much success in what I was working on.
When I started this particular blog, the idea was for it to a place where it was safe to be who and what you are when you don't have anywhere else. And I think that is why I quit after only three, maybe four months. Granted there were A LOT of personal changes happening that made blogging not an ideal pass time. As I said before, I was also trying to define my path, and work out my beliefs in an almost technical way, which again, just did not work for me.
This time around, I am here to share and be open, and be proud of who and what I am. I do not have all of the answers, I don't even have all of MY answers. Life is a journey, and I am at my happiest, and learn the most when I just LIVE. When I take it one day at a time, and allow myself the freedom to take chances, make mistakes, and not apologize for my life.
Which brings me to what I wanted to share.
I realize up until now, in the maybe dozen posts on this blog, I have focused very heavily on my spiritual path. Which is the main point of this blog, but I see real value in sharing other aspects of my life as well.
In my post titled When One Door Closes, I talked about being called to work on my shadow self. Everyone probably has a slightly different definition of what that means, so I'll clarify what that means for me.
Working on my shadow self means that I am looking inward to the things that I might not necessarily like about myself. They are the habits, or tendencies, or personality traits that might be very much a part of who I am (especially the latter)-they are the things that do not help serve me to my highest good.
I had a raging call from one of them this last week or so. Being a full time student is not an easy thing, particularly for someone who has never been a full time student without it being legally mandatory. It can be very stressful in a number of ways.
Not only was I transitioning into a completely new schedule, I also had to transition the way I dealt with money. I was no longer earning a respectable lower middle class wage, I was given a figure close to what I made in a six weeks, and I had to make it last three months! Very much a new learning experience for me, literally!
So along with the stress of school and finances, I began this shadow work. I began digging up all of this junk that I thought I had dealt with already, well, it turns out that I am like a squirrel. I bury it, forget about it, and then after an undetermined amount of time later-surprise!
While all of these things individually are good things, it took more of a toll then I had anticipated. So many things were being brought into the light, and being released (which takes time in and of itself) and I had all of this studying to do, but I was so excited about what was happening in my spiritual life, and I was starting my blog again, but I wasn't really sleeping or eating, and I had my finals right around the corner, and another month before next term, and would I still qualify for financial aid....
I broke for about a day and a half.
I was juggling with so many thoughts, and ideas, and emotions that in the process I sent myself into a panic attack.
One of the truths about me is that I have anxiety and clinical depression. I do not say that "I suffer from" because I sincerely believe that I don't. Every now and again I have episodes where it's like I have a brain chemical flu, some stints last longer then others. Both of these conditions run on both sides of my family, along with a few others, but we'll save that for another time.
Just to be clear, I understand how devastating these conditions can be. Not only have I witnessed them in others, but I have experienced them myself. The way that I described the situation above is not a standard that I hold anyone else to, not even myself. I have noticed that for me personally, that's usually how it goes.
So, why am I sharing again?
I want to share as much of a full rounded picture of who I am with you. I want to be better at reminding myself that I'm human too. I'm not sure if it's just me, or if it's a Capricorn thing (just kidding!) but I tend to forget.
While I will joke about being a total hippie (and I do see myself as such) it's not all there is to me. I whole heartily believe that working with the ebb and flow of nature can be helpful-because all other forms of life live that way.
I have found that meditation, and working with crystals help me. I've heard it also works for other people, and I like to surround myself with those people because we share similar perspectives. Something I think we all do. That's not to say that I don't associate with people who do not share my beliefs (another post all by itself.)
But I don't expect for my spirituality to 'fix' or heal everything that might be 'wrong' with me. When I have a cold, I don't rely on a crystal to make my nose stop running. I'm going to stalk up on Puffs with lotion, Halls cough drops, tea and cold medicine.
Yesterday I turned off my phone because I didn't want to hear from anyone. I was wrought with this horrible sick feeling, moving in any capacity made me nauseous. I spent the day in total despair and worry. Around seven in the evening I ended up taking some medication and I started to feel more in touch with my grounded self.
I was able to calm down enough to sleep and to make it to my final this morning. Over the next few weeks I am going to set up time to talk to the school about what I can do for stress management, set up to see a counselor and make sure I do what I need to do to make sure I can stay in school.
Not to be redundant, but why are you sharing this?
Because it's scary being open about something so unpleasant about yourself. It's embarrassing because you know that's not who you really are or who you want to be. I'll go into more details about that in a different post.
By sharing in this way, not only am I openly accepting this about myself but I am affirming that this is something that doesn't have to take control. This is something I can work on, and find healthy ways of coping.
In truth I have no way of knowing how many people will see this post. But eventually someone will see it, and it may give them the courage to face something that they have felt ashamed of. I hope that it does.
I hope that whatever may be hiding inside, that you know in your heart of hearts that you are strong enough to face it, to conquer it, to share it with people who can help you, and that because of all of that, you can help someone else.
That's it for tonight dears, somehow it's gotten past midnight, and while I am done for the term, I am still coming down a bit from my trip down anxiety lane.
Just remember that no matter the darkness you find yourself in or surrounded by, there is a great light within you. All you need to do is hold onto it, and if you feel like you can't find it, don't be afraid to ask for help. The people who love us are exceptional at finding such things, even when we cannot.
May your dreams be filled with laughter and delight.
In light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
This post is going to be a little bit different than those you've seen in the past-whether I posted them last year, or within the last week. Prior to this point in my life, I don't think I would have considered sharing something like this about myself in this format. It's barely something I like sharing at all, in fact I hide it so well that I some times forget how much it can affect me.
So why am I sharing?
There are a couple of reasons, a big chuck of it has to do with the mantra I gave myself during the first post I made on this blog in over a year.
"My last year living in fear."
A significant part of doing that is being honest with myself. By being open and honest, it takes away the opportunity to be ashamed. It brings the situation into the light, so I can see it for what it really is instead of letting it be the big scary monster in the dark that I think it is.
Another reason actually has to do with you-my readers. I want anyone who visits this blog to see me as the person that I am, not just a personality that I present in a specific writing style.
Now, by no means am I saying that blogging, writing, making videos in that way is wrong, or insincere, or anything of that nature. I am simply saying that for me personally, my voice comes from being as I am. I know this because I tried it other ways, and I didn't have as much success in what I was working on.
When I started this particular blog, the idea was for it to a place where it was safe to be who and what you are when you don't have anywhere else. And I think that is why I quit after only three, maybe four months. Granted there were A LOT of personal changes happening that made blogging not an ideal pass time. As I said before, I was also trying to define my path, and work out my beliefs in an almost technical way, which again, just did not work for me.
This time around, I am here to share and be open, and be proud of who and what I am. I do not have all of the answers, I don't even have all of MY answers. Life is a journey, and I am at my happiest, and learn the most when I just LIVE. When I take it one day at a time, and allow myself the freedom to take chances, make mistakes, and not apologize for my life.
Which brings me to what I wanted to share.
I realize up until now, in the maybe dozen posts on this blog, I have focused very heavily on my spiritual path. Which is the main point of this blog, but I see real value in sharing other aspects of my life as well.
In my post titled When One Door Closes, I talked about being called to work on my shadow self. Everyone probably has a slightly different definition of what that means, so I'll clarify what that means for me.
Working on my shadow self means that I am looking inward to the things that I might not necessarily like about myself. They are the habits, or tendencies, or personality traits that might be very much a part of who I am (especially the latter)-they are the things that do not help serve me to my highest good.
I had a raging call from one of them this last week or so. Being a full time student is not an easy thing, particularly for someone who has never been a full time student without it being legally mandatory. It can be very stressful in a number of ways.
Not only was I transitioning into a completely new schedule, I also had to transition the way I dealt with money. I was no longer earning a respectable lower middle class wage, I was given a figure close to what I made in a six weeks, and I had to make it last three months! Very much a new learning experience for me, literally!
So along with the stress of school and finances, I began this shadow work. I began digging up all of this junk that I thought I had dealt with already, well, it turns out that I am like a squirrel. I bury it, forget about it, and then after an undetermined amount of time later-surprise!
While all of these things individually are good things, it took more of a toll then I had anticipated. So many things were being brought into the light, and being released (which takes time in and of itself) and I had all of this studying to do, but I was so excited about what was happening in my spiritual life, and I was starting my blog again, but I wasn't really sleeping or eating, and I had my finals right around the corner, and another month before next term, and would I still qualify for financial aid....
I broke for about a day and a half.
I was juggling with so many thoughts, and ideas, and emotions that in the process I sent myself into a panic attack.
One of the truths about me is that I have anxiety and clinical depression. I do not say that "I suffer from" because I sincerely believe that I don't. Every now and again I have episodes where it's like I have a brain chemical flu, some stints last longer then others. Both of these conditions run on both sides of my family, along with a few others, but we'll save that for another time.
Just to be clear, I understand how devastating these conditions can be. Not only have I witnessed them in others, but I have experienced them myself. The way that I described the situation above is not a standard that I hold anyone else to, not even myself. I have noticed that for me personally, that's usually how it goes.
So, why am I sharing again?
I want to share as much of a full rounded picture of who I am with you. I want to be better at reminding myself that I'm human too. I'm not sure if it's just me, or if it's a Capricorn thing (just kidding!) but I tend to forget.
While I will joke about being a total hippie (and I do see myself as such) it's not all there is to me. I whole heartily believe that working with the ebb and flow of nature can be helpful-because all other forms of life live that way.
I have found that meditation, and working with crystals help me. I've heard it also works for other people, and I like to surround myself with those people because we share similar perspectives. Something I think we all do. That's not to say that I don't associate with people who do not share my beliefs (another post all by itself.)
But I don't expect for my spirituality to 'fix' or heal everything that might be 'wrong' with me. When I have a cold, I don't rely on a crystal to make my nose stop running. I'm going to stalk up on Puffs with lotion, Halls cough drops, tea and cold medicine.
Yesterday I turned off my phone because I didn't want to hear from anyone. I was wrought with this horrible sick feeling, moving in any capacity made me nauseous. I spent the day in total despair and worry. Around seven in the evening I ended up taking some medication and I started to feel more in touch with my grounded self.
I was able to calm down enough to sleep and to make it to my final this morning. Over the next few weeks I am going to set up time to talk to the school about what I can do for stress management, set up to see a counselor and make sure I do what I need to do to make sure I can stay in school.
Not to be redundant, but why are you sharing this?
Because it's scary being open about something so unpleasant about yourself. It's embarrassing because you know that's not who you really are or who you want to be. I'll go into more details about that in a different post.
By sharing in this way, not only am I openly accepting this about myself but I am affirming that this is something that doesn't have to take control. This is something I can work on, and find healthy ways of coping.
In truth I have no way of knowing how many people will see this post. But eventually someone will see it, and it may give them the courage to face something that they have felt ashamed of. I hope that it does.
I hope that whatever may be hiding inside, that you know in your heart of hearts that you are strong enough to face it, to conquer it, to share it with people who can help you, and that because of all of that, you can help someone else.
That's it for tonight dears, somehow it's gotten past midnight, and while I am done for the term, I am still coming down a bit from my trip down anxiety lane.
Just remember that no matter the darkness you find yourself in or surrounded by, there is a great light within you. All you need to do is hold onto it, and if you feel like you can't find it, don't be afraid to ask for help. The people who love us are exceptional at finding such things, even when we cannot.
May your dreams be filled with laughter and delight.
In light and love,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Monday, December 8, 2014
They Find You
Hello again lovies,
I told you I wouldn't be gone for long! I'm going to try and keep this post on the shorter side because this is a subject that I intend to go into more detail with, but this was too cool for me not to share with you today!
I began working with crystals a little over a year now. There is a one shop in town that sells them, and the woman who owns the shop has been doing so for the last fourteen years. Very wise, very knowledgeable. I've spent enough time there, that now I volunteer when I can.
The first time I went in to purchase stones for myself I was a bit nervous, because I had never expected to work with stones, at the time I didn't believe they could do anything for me. With the situation I was facing, I was about ready to try anything.
I started off fairly simple, a few here, a few there. A few for home, a couple to keep at work. I could feel some results, even if all it was doing was putting a wall between me and what was happening-I'd take it!
Well, several months passed by and I felt called to do a meditation, and I chose to do so with a couple of my stones.
Let me tell you, it knocked me on my ass! The mediation was so deep, and the messages I received so clear, and vivid, I was almost afraid to touch them after that! But of course I did, carefully, but I did.
I decided that I would reserve my use of them for when I really needed it, which is also what I did with my tarot and oracle cards.
Why you may ask?
I was concerned that if I used them too often, I would become dependent on their guidance, and that it would lessen and distort the messages I received.
A fair and logical conclusion, but not terribly accurate. The truth of the matter was that I didn't trust my guides, my tools or myself enough to work with them freely.
As time went on, I would use them here and there, and would occasionally pick up additional stones. My little gem family now has around 50 members! Including two new additions from today.
When I went into the shop, I had an intention of spending less than five dollars, since that was how much cash I had with me, and I was looking for a stone to help me with the headaches that I had been experiencing.
There was another guest in the shop, who I ended up helping along with the volunteer who was on duty. Once she was taken care of, I asked for assistance with the reason for my visit.
Most of the stones that were listed for helping headaches I either had or were not in the shop, a few were over the budget I had set for myself. I kept coming back to the smoky quartz, which surprisingly enough was not already a part of my gem family.
Next to it on the table were yellow jasper. Before I could even process the thought, I had one ready to take home. The smoky quartz were almost overflowing! I had a little bit more of a time trying to find the one that was meant to come home with me, but I found 'em!
The nice thing about shopping locally is that the prices are almost unbeatable, but I know that not everyone has that option. So if not, I would HIGHLY recommend the shops I mentioned in my previous post. Not only are they run by amazing women, but helping others through spiritual tools is infused with their life's purpose.
The first blurb about yellow jasper is from the Sage Goddess listing. The description is just too perfect, and it just instilled so much encouragement and confidence in my intuition.
"First, let me say how important the solar plexus Chakra is to your energy's well being. It's the center of your Chakra system, the source of your power, and the core of your personal evolution. It connects the upper and lower Chakras, creating a sense of alignment that's unmatched. Any stone of the yellow ray can balance the solar plexus Chakra, creating a strong foundation. Yellow Jasper takes it a step further. It creates a sense of stability and gives one a feeling of being "enough". Enough to make it through your hardest times and to deal with any situation. I love to carry yellow jasper whenever my confidence is lacking and I need a bit of a boost.
Yellow jasper takes its time when working on your center, but is no less powerful. True change takes time to development and this stone makes sure you are fully prepared to roar with full lioness power. "
The second is from a website that I use quite frequently, the link will be here.
"Smoky quartz is a very protective and grounding stone. It brings physical and psychic protection. It is also an excellent stone for protection from negative energy, as It removes negativity and negative energy of any kind and transforms them to positive energy.
You might be wondering why I'm so excited over saving fifty cents, and I will tell you why. I am excited because I not only set myself a budget, I stuck to it; I not only saved money, but I was UNDER BUDGET. I decided to give that fifty cents back to the shop in the form of a donation to help build and restore a property that will serve as sanctuary for those in need, and a retreat for like minded individuals, which is scheduled to be up and running next year.
I saw a piece of cats eye that was calling to me, but I decided not to, because it would mean that I had one dollar left over, meaning that I would have spend ninety percent of my budget. As much as I felt like I could use it, I reminded myself that I had spent over a year putting off buying a smoky quartz. The cats eye could wait a few weeks, or longer if need be.
I might be getting some strange looks through the computer screen as to why I'm looking at such a small amount of money as such a big deal. I'm sure that I will write more about this in another post, but for now suffice it to say that I am working on changing the way I look at money, my relationship with money and how I handle money. That story in and of itself will take a post or two.
While this one might not have been as short as I had originally intended, I am pleased that I was able to share so much, that I have ideas for future posts, and that I have the drive and desire to post!
I am going to try and stay away for another couple of days so I can focus on studying for my last final and when it's all over I will give a sigh of relief and gratitude, and come write some more!
The idea that I should make a list of the topics I want to write about really makes me smile, not only do I not want to forget anything, but that I am so eager to share it. I just have to hold out until Wednesday!
Until we meet again, may you be showered with love by those around you, and may you know that the dreams which live inside your heart are achievable.
Blessings to you all,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
I told you I wouldn't be gone for long! I'm going to try and keep this post on the shorter side because this is a subject that I intend to go into more detail with, but this was too cool for me not to share with you today!
I began working with crystals a little over a year now. There is a one shop in town that sells them, and the woman who owns the shop has been doing so for the last fourteen years. Very wise, very knowledgeable. I've spent enough time there, that now I volunteer when I can.
The first time I went in to purchase stones for myself I was a bit nervous, because I had never expected to work with stones, at the time I didn't believe they could do anything for me. With the situation I was facing, I was about ready to try anything.
I started off fairly simple, a few here, a few there. A few for home, a couple to keep at work. I could feel some results, even if all it was doing was putting a wall between me and what was happening-I'd take it!
Well, several months passed by and I felt called to do a meditation, and I chose to do so with a couple of my stones.
Let me tell you, it knocked me on my ass! The mediation was so deep, and the messages I received so clear, and vivid, I was almost afraid to touch them after that! But of course I did, carefully, but I did.
I decided that I would reserve my use of them for when I really needed it, which is also what I did with my tarot and oracle cards.
Why you may ask?
I was concerned that if I used them too often, I would become dependent on their guidance, and that it would lessen and distort the messages I received.
A fair and logical conclusion, but not terribly accurate. The truth of the matter was that I didn't trust my guides, my tools or myself enough to work with them freely.
As time went on, I would use them here and there, and would occasionally pick up additional stones. My little gem family now has around 50 members! Including two new additions from today.
When I went into the shop, I had an intention of spending less than five dollars, since that was how much cash I had with me, and I was looking for a stone to help me with the headaches that I had been experiencing.
There was another guest in the shop, who I ended up helping along with the volunteer who was on duty. Once she was taken care of, I asked for assistance with the reason for my visit.
Most of the stones that were listed for helping headaches I either had or were not in the shop, a few were over the budget I had set for myself. I kept coming back to the smoky quartz, which surprisingly enough was not already a part of my gem family.
Next to it on the table were yellow jasper. Before I could even process the thought, I had one ready to take home. The smoky quartz were almost overflowing! I had a little bit more of a time trying to find the one that was meant to come home with me, but I found 'em!
The nice thing about shopping locally is that the prices are almost unbeatable, but I know that not everyone has that option. So if not, I would HIGHLY recommend the shops I mentioned in my previous post. Not only are they run by amazing women, but helping others through spiritual tools is infused with their life's purpose.
The first blurb about yellow jasper is from the Sage Goddess listing. The description is just too perfect, and it just instilled so much encouragement and confidence in my intuition.
"First, let me say how important the solar plexus Chakra is to your energy's well being. It's the center of your Chakra system, the source of your power, and the core of your personal evolution. It connects the upper and lower Chakras, creating a sense of alignment that's unmatched. Any stone of the yellow ray can balance the solar plexus Chakra, creating a strong foundation. Yellow Jasper takes it a step further. It creates a sense of stability and gives one a feeling of being "enough". Enough to make it through your hardest times and to deal with any situation. I love to carry yellow jasper whenever my confidence is lacking and I need a bit of a boost.
Yellow jasper takes its time when working on your center, but is no less powerful. True change takes time to development and this stone makes sure you are fully prepared to roar with full lioness power. "
The second is from a website that I use quite frequently, the link will be here.
"Smoky quartz is a very protective and grounding stone. It brings physical and psychic protection. It is also an excellent stone for protection from negative energy, as It removes negativity and negative energy of any kind and transforms them to positive energy.
As a root chakra stone, smoky quartz enhances survival instincts, and can help one reach personal and business goals. It is also used in assisting in making wishes come true by grounding their essence in reality. Thus, it is a stone that brings abundance, prosperity, and good luck.
Smoky quartz also works energetically to assist in prioritizing needs and wants, and brings wisdom to every day life.
Emotionally, smoky quartz is excellent for elevating moods, overcoming negative emotions, and relieving depression. Smoky quartz relieves stress, fear, jealousy, anger and other negative emotions by transforming them into positive energies. It is a helpful stone for enhancing and encouraging courage and inner strength. Smoky quartz is very comforting and calming, and can be considered a stone of serenity. It can, therefore, be very helpful in relieving grief."
There is a BUNCH of information about the smoky quartz, but this is what stuck out to me the most.
So, I went up to pay for my newest friends, and related the prices, the volunteer shaved fifty cents off of one of the stones because it was so small (something the shop owner does all the time so no worries there) which means that I went from spending half of my budget to only forty percent!You might be wondering why I'm so excited over saving fifty cents, and I will tell you why. I am excited because I not only set myself a budget, I stuck to it; I not only saved money, but I was UNDER BUDGET. I decided to give that fifty cents back to the shop in the form of a donation to help build and restore a property that will serve as sanctuary for those in need, and a retreat for like minded individuals, which is scheduled to be up and running next year.
I saw a piece of cats eye that was calling to me, but I decided not to, because it would mean that I had one dollar left over, meaning that I would have spend ninety percent of my budget. As much as I felt like I could use it, I reminded myself that I had spent over a year putting off buying a smoky quartz. The cats eye could wait a few weeks, or longer if need be.
I might be getting some strange looks through the computer screen as to why I'm looking at such a small amount of money as such a big deal. I'm sure that I will write more about this in another post, but for now suffice it to say that I am working on changing the way I look at money, my relationship with money and how I handle money. That story in and of itself will take a post or two.
While this one might not have been as short as I had originally intended, I am pleased that I was able to share so much, that I have ideas for future posts, and that I have the drive and desire to post!
I am going to try and stay away for another couple of days so I can focus on studying for my last final and when it's all over I will give a sigh of relief and gratitude, and come write some more!
The idea that I should make a list of the topics I want to write about really makes me smile, not only do I not want to forget anything, but that I am so eager to share it. I just have to hold out until Wednesday!
Until we meet again, may you be showered with love by those around you, and may you know that the dreams which live inside your heart are achievable.
Blessings to you all,
Thealynn
©2013-2015 Thealynn
Saturday, December 6, 2014
When One Door Closes
Oh my gosh, there is so much I want to say, and share, and express! I want to jump and laugh and scream and dance! I am filled with so much energy and light that I can barely type! (Trying to eat at the same time doesn't help either. Teehee.)
I'll be mentioning several things in this post, links will be included if you want to check anything out for yourself. I realize that this post might seem a little scattered, and I promise that I will clear up the mysteries, but for now I just feel that it is important to get this out!
I just finished up my first monthly ritual with the wonderful members of Sage Goddess. I won't get into all of the details in this posting because I would never go to sleep if I attempted that, and any readers probably wouldn't either if they attempted to read the whole thing-SO! In the interest of trying to keep things cohesive, I'll do my best to sticking with the highlights.
A couple of weeks before Samhain, I felt a strong calling from some of the 'darker goddesses' Morgan and Hecate to turn in and start working on sweeping out the cobwebs of my shadow self, and confront what I found there. At first the idea really freaked me out because, hello! I leave my shadow self alone for a reason! But as I felt my world starting to shift once again, I realized that the best thing I could do for myself was to do as directed.
I certainly did not jump in mind you, we've got three months in the darkest part of the year, which to me means that I have three months to work on not only figuring out how to approach my shadow self, but to also work on my shadow self.
Samhain came and went, and before I knew it, it was only a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving. Rather than spending one day being thankful, I spent one week posting once a day about something in my life I was grateful for. The major thing that I wanted to express gratitude for, was all of the people who have been in my life, regardless of the impact they made-good or bad.
Doing so allowed me to sort of hone in on the other side of that coin, which helped me to connect with my shadow self. Now, I knew that the December ritual through Sage Goddess was coming up because I'd been a part of the Facebook page for several months. I had never done a ritual with Sage Goddess before, but this month seemed different. The theme for this month was on Inner Peace, and the ritual was to take place on the night of the full moon. The ideal time to RELEASE all of the things that no longer serve us.
Originally I did not intend to take part in the ritual, but as we got closer to the date, and the more work I was doing with my spirit, I began to realize how much I would benefit from participating.
Part of what I had done the day before was purchase an ebook of Your Shinning Year work book from Leonie Dawson. I was inspired to take the plunge from a plucky Youtuber that I had been subscribed to for a couple of years. She had mentioned it before in years past, and has been able to drastically turn her life towards the positive by using the work book.
With all of the work I was going for myself and with myself I slowly began to feel that 2015 was going to be my greatest year yet. But in order to make that happen, I had to be serious about the changes I was going to make, and the number one way I was going to do that, was to face the biggest obstacle that I had been avoiding.
Which was fear.
It took me a little while to fully understand which was frustrating, but accepting the truth about how long I had been living with fear was heartbreaking. I was determined to use that to motivate my desire for change.
I made vows to myself that 2014 would be the last year of fear. While I was careful to not discredit or to lessen the value of the progress that I have made in these last couple of years, I also felt called to truly face my fear.
WHAT A HUGE STEP FOR ME.
I felt myself moving forward and slowly releasing things that I didn't even know that I was still holding on to, and in that process I also began to release things that I'd had a death grip on. It wasn't long before I decided that by the end of 2014 I wanted to forgive each and every person who had caused me hurt, and that I was going to forgive myself for all of the hurt that I have caused.
ANOTHER HUGE STEP!
With all of these goals moving forward, and being completed, I finally felt the walls and resistance breaking to deal with the number one thing that caused fear in my life. Not only did I face it, I asked for help in conquering it.
SHE DID WHAT????
I don't want to spend too much time on this, but I will say that I am a Capricorn, and while I am possibly one of the most laid back Capricorns I have ever met-I still have pride. Which is what is at the core of my shadow self.
Doing each and every one of these things at my own pace, and doing it solely for myself has been such an amazing, and terrifying experience, I almost feel woozy because of the energy I feel, and how much weight that has been lifted!
I kind of wonder if Air signs feel like they're always floating...I honestly feel like I'm a couple of days away from Marry Poppins-ing it.
Fast forward to the Full Moon Ritual. I gathered what I felt I needed for the ritual. Candles, stones, sage, incense, I put on my pentacle and signet ring, and I was ready to go! There were several parts of the hour we spent together, one of which was a guided meditation. After the ritual I shared part of my experience on the Facebook page, and thought it would be easiest to just bring part of that here:
It's as if my heart and spirit are purging all of the old hurt and washing away the rot of old wounds. It's a process that will in and of itself take some time, but by the time the new moon comes around, I will be ready to receive blessings and be prepared to welcome the new beginnings awaiting me.
I am overjoyed, and excited for this to be a part of my fresh start. Writing is a soul purpose for me, and I am almost ready to cry again because of how happy I am finding this passion again.
Now, I have previous posts here that I am purposefully leaving up because they do have value as part of my previous journeys on this path, and I don't want to get rid of them just yet. I am going to need to decided if I want to keep this blog the way it is, or start a brand new one.
My intention when I started a spiritual blog was to help record my experiences with the full intention of sharing them with others, but I don't think I was fully ready yet, I was searching for definitions in my path and not so much focused on just walking it.
I titled it the way I did feeling secretive about my journey and wanting to keep it hush hush. Well, if my soul's purpose is anything like what I mentioned above, that won't do. Whether I make a whole new blog, or recycle this one, I will be naming it Sacred Steps on a Sacred Journey.
I would write more here, but I have a solo ritual that I would like to get done. Being a full time student means that I have finals coming up also, which means I need to STUDY!
As I said before, links will be below, and I will try to post again in the next couple of days. If things keep manifesting I might not have a choice!
In love and light,
Thealynn
I'll be mentioning several things in this post, links will be included if you want to check anything out for yourself. I realize that this post might seem a little scattered, and I promise that I will clear up the mysteries, but for now I just feel that it is important to get this out!
I just finished up my first monthly ritual with the wonderful members of Sage Goddess. I won't get into all of the details in this posting because I would never go to sleep if I attempted that, and any readers probably wouldn't either if they attempted to read the whole thing-SO! In the interest of trying to keep things cohesive, I'll do my best to sticking with the highlights.
A couple of weeks before Samhain, I felt a strong calling from some of the 'darker goddesses' Morgan and Hecate to turn in and start working on sweeping out the cobwebs of my shadow self, and confront what I found there. At first the idea really freaked me out because, hello! I leave my shadow self alone for a reason! But as I felt my world starting to shift once again, I realized that the best thing I could do for myself was to do as directed.
I certainly did not jump in mind you, we've got three months in the darkest part of the year, which to me means that I have three months to work on not only figuring out how to approach my shadow self, but to also work on my shadow self.
Samhain came and went, and before I knew it, it was only a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving. Rather than spending one day being thankful, I spent one week posting once a day about something in my life I was grateful for. The major thing that I wanted to express gratitude for, was all of the people who have been in my life, regardless of the impact they made-good or bad.
Doing so allowed me to sort of hone in on the other side of that coin, which helped me to connect with my shadow self. Now, I knew that the December ritual through Sage Goddess was coming up because I'd been a part of the Facebook page for several months. I had never done a ritual with Sage Goddess before, but this month seemed different. The theme for this month was on Inner Peace, and the ritual was to take place on the night of the full moon. The ideal time to RELEASE all of the things that no longer serve us.
Originally I did not intend to take part in the ritual, but as we got closer to the date, and the more work I was doing with my spirit, I began to realize how much I would benefit from participating.
Part of what I had done the day before was purchase an ebook of Your Shinning Year work book from Leonie Dawson. I was inspired to take the plunge from a plucky Youtuber that I had been subscribed to for a couple of years. She had mentioned it before in years past, and has been able to drastically turn her life towards the positive by using the work book.
With all of the work I was going for myself and with myself I slowly began to feel that 2015 was going to be my greatest year yet. But in order to make that happen, I had to be serious about the changes I was going to make, and the number one way I was going to do that, was to face the biggest obstacle that I had been avoiding.
Which was fear.
It took me a little while to fully understand which was frustrating, but accepting the truth about how long I had been living with fear was heartbreaking. I was determined to use that to motivate my desire for change.
I made vows to myself that 2014 would be the last year of fear. While I was careful to not discredit or to lessen the value of the progress that I have made in these last couple of years, I also felt called to truly face my fear.
WHAT A HUGE STEP FOR ME.
I felt myself moving forward and slowly releasing things that I didn't even know that I was still holding on to, and in that process I also began to release things that I'd had a death grip on. It wasn't long before I decided that by the end of 2014 I wanted to forgive each and every person who had caused me hurt, and that I was going to forgive myself for all of the hurt that I have caused.
ANOTHER HUGE STEP!
With all of these goals moving forward, and being completed, I finally felt the walls and resistance breaking to deal with the number one thing that caused fear in my life. Not only did I face it, I asked for help in conquering it.
SHE DID WHAT????
I don't want to spend too much time on this, but I will say that I am a Capricorn, and while I am possibly one of the most laid back Capricorns I have ever met-I still have pride. Which is what is at the core of my shadow self.
Doing each and every one of these things at my own pace, and doing it solely for myself has been such an amazing, and terrifying experience, I almost feel woozy because of the energy I feel, and how much weight that has been lifted!
I kind of wonder if Air signs feel like they're always floating...I honestly feel like I'm a couple of days away from Marry Poppins-ing it.
Fast forward to the Full Moon Ritual. I gathered what I felt I needed for the ritual. Candles, stones, sage, incense, I put on my pentacle and signet ring, and I was ready to go! There were several parts of the hour we spent together, one of which was a guided meditation. After the ritual I shared part of my experience on the Facebook page, and thought it would be easiest to just bring part of that here:
"I pulled several stones that I felt called to, and during the meditation, was called by my guides to release all but two, so I did. When I came around I looked to see what had stayed, it was a clear quartz point and my green moonstone-I started crying!
I have been working on my spirit so much these last several weeks, and to have such amazing confirmations and to feel all of the healing and love that I am surrounded by is so amazing.
For the last twelve years I have wobbled back and forth on whether I believed this in my heart, and after tonight I will never question it again. This is my soul's truth, my path and my future lies in educating people about the real truth in what and who we are (for me it's being a pagan), spreading tolerance, and helping those are need of guidance and healing."
With such a powerful experience I am filled to the brim with moonlight. I am not even outside, and I can feel the rays washing through me like the waves of the ocean when the tide is in, carrying away all of the negativity, regrets, resentment, anger, and fear.
I am overjoyed, and excited for this to be a part of my fresh start. Writing is a soul purpose for me, and I am almost ready to cry again because of how happy I am finding this passion again.
Now, I have previous posts here that I am purposefully leaving up because they do have value as part of my previous journeys on this path, and I don't want to get rid of them just yet. I am going to need to decided if I want to keep this blog the way it is, or start a brand new one.
My intention when I started a spiritual blog was to help record my experiences with the full intention of sharing them with others, but I don't think I was fully ready yet, I was searching for definitions in my path and not so much focused on just walking it.
I titled it the way I did feeling secretive about my journey and wanting to keep it hush hush. Well, if my soul's purpose is anything like what I mentioned above, that won't do. Whether I make a whole new blog, or recycle this one, I will be naming it Sacred Steps on a Sacred Journey.
I would write more here, but I have a solo ritual that I would like to get done. Being a full time student means that I have finals coming up also, which means I need to STUDY!
As I said before, links will be below, and I will try to post again in the next couple of days. If things keep manifesting I might not have a choice!
In love and light,
Thealynn
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